The bastard is doing it yet again. Maybe he would've filled it but they canceled my appointment, I was 7 minutes late. The new policy is you can't be over 7 minutes late which is stupid. If I were 5 minutes late he'd already have been seeing another patient because I was told he was and that I was only a 15 minute appointment. I always take a half hour or more. And the dude takes 5-10 minutes just to get into my room anyway because he's always outside just chatting up with other doctors.
Don't know where you live, most probably not where I live. But I've been through this kind of doctor power play, too. It's when you go to those big "company" practices and health centers where there are two secretaries for several professionals who just process patients.
In my case I started with a psychologist because I was going through a tough time with breakup and and unrelayed family issue, and just wanted to talk with some outsider. I ended up being prescribed SSRIs that didn't solve my problems, instead made me act crazy. So I got quetiapine on top of that and when I started to fall asleep in the waiting room (three people with the same appointment as mine with the same person) and everyone waiting because the shrinks were chatting or getting themselves coffees or bathroom break... Thing is, I fell asleep out of boredom and stress. When I finally got into the doctor's office, I didn't even get a chance to tell him that I want him to get me off all those pills. He didn't even offer me to sit down, but have me a prescription for modafinil so I wouldn't fall asleep all the time.
Then there was a social upheaval and they started to take emergencies only. I was there hooked on those SSRIs that were making me act psychotic and non-functional and afraid to just gomoff them on my own. Until I got lucky and got an appointment with a psychiatrist (private practice) who completely changed my diagnosis and medication. But that's another story.
I stormed out of that place and place kicking the door open and just giving that one cunt a nasty look as I walked out. I've never seen her before, she was really rude. I even asked, what if I just sit here until you close in case someone cancels, and they said low odds.
I can understand your reaction very well, I have done that, too. Thing is, it might be good for venting but it won't get you anywhere. If anything, it will make the nurses/secretaries see their point confirmed: here's someone who's nuts/addicted and needs either more pills or no pills at all. They won't take you seriously, even if they were really interested in you (or other patients). They work for the doctors, and their goal is to do what they want and keep their schedules full, but only just so.
Don't expect any help from them, and don't trust what they say.
Most probably your doc was telling the truth and he didn't get all the messages you sent.
Have you any way to get an private appointment with a doctor (might be more expensive and sometimes hard to get, but they usually take their time listening to you, especially if it's the first appointment).
My other suggestion would be to go to an IR. Do it when you are feeling bad both psysically and mentally, so they will see you're really in a bad shape. They will probably give you a benzo to start with, keep you there until the doc in charge talks to you, and that's your chance to tell your story. Where I live ER doctors can't give you prescriptions, but they do have to give you a report on what was wrong with you, and recommendations. With that you can try to find another doctor who will hopefully change your meds or adapt yours doses or help you through taper.
