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My boyfriend doesnt want to have sex with me anymore

Maybe he likes guys and finally figured it out because any other red blooded straight dude would smash given the opportunity.

Time for you to start spending some time away from home. He will either get with the program or figure out what he wants.
 
OP, there is nothing wrong with you so please don't feel disgusted with yourself. I can see that it's really affecting you in a negative way. It also doesn't sound like it's good for your self-image at all. May I suggest seeing a sex therapist? Both of you, together. This is obviously an issue that needs to be addressed.
 
You need to talk to him about it if it is bugging you so much darlin. Stop trying to send signals, he might not be picking up on them. Talk to him about it but try not to place too much emphasis on feeling disgusted because it may make him feel guilty. Unless he's a really sensitive and considerate guy, in which case feel free to completely vent to him. It's likely that there's shit going on in his psyche or in his body that is keeping him from getting arroused and it's not just you. Is he taking any meds or is there any medical conditions he has that you know of? Has he been doing drugs lately? Maybe he's just so stressed that he cant even think about sex right now. I guarantee it's not you. And I assure you that this is a very common thing for people that have been in a relationship for a long time. How long has this been going on? And have you ever tried some new stuff? Try coming home one day and being the dominant, taking charge, tying/handcuffing his hands behind his back, forcing his pants off him and sucking his dick, if he protests hush him, gag him, force him to be turned on, do what you must, and then ride him like you never have before. Place great emphasis on the fact that you need this. Or as others have mentioned you could try a sex therapist. But I would definitely either have a serious discussion with him or make a move that isn't so subtle (e.g. forcing his pants off, hushing him and sucking him off) and stop being so ashamed of making the first move! Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do and maybe, just maybe he'll love it. If I were in your position I'd do both. I'd start by jumping his bones, leaving him almost no choice but to fuck you.

Also your personal relationship may be turning him off. If you're disagreeing on something that could be it as well. Be nothing but sweet to him for a week. And don't be afraid to express how bad you want him and how much it scares you that he hasn't made any effort to fuck u.
 
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ezrielle said:
My boyfriend of 9 years has no Interest In sex anymore and it's killing me. If I tell him to do it he will do stuff for me to get me off but he has no enjoyment for it anymore. He tells me he will do whatever I tell him to to try and fix it. But it has been going on for several years and not getting better. It is getting so that I hate to touch him and try to get him excited because I know it doesn't make him excited and I feel awful about myself when it doesn't. And I only tell him to do stuff to me when I am really desperate for it, because I know he doesn't enjoy that either so I feel disgusted with myself. Lately my hormones have been raging and I really want it but the thought of having to ask for it makes me feel like a pitiful person. Today I took his hand and put it under my shirt on my Boob and he just left it there, he didn't bother to do anything. I am feeling really disgusted with myself right now.
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Hey im so sorry you are going through this and if you live in the New York metropolitan area or even just the north east feel free to contact me me and I'm sure I can help you feel better with yourself and in which ever way possible
 
Damn, that sucks! I'm sorry you are going through this, it's happened to me before too and.. Hate to toot my own horn but I'm not ugly at all. So please don't feel like it's your fault. It seems to me as though you are the only person trying to keep this going and it takes 2 to tango. Ultimatums can be silly but in this case.. If I were you I'd tell him if he doesn't show interest or at least try and make an effort then you will leave him.

I'm aware that sex isn't the most important thing in a relationship but physical intimacy is nonetheless very important. And it looks to me like since he doesn't want to do something you both should enjoy to please you then he probably doesn't do much of anything else for you either and it will not get any better. You deserve better, if he doesn't make an effort then dump him.

It seems like it would be hard to leave after all this time, but you deserve to be with someone who makes you feel GOOD about yourself. Also, the best way to get over a man is to get under another one, lol ;)

Good luck!
 
He must have lost his spark. Keeping the spark going is what keeps things going . With out the spark the couple dies. Ive seen this all too much. He must be a sad man. Some people dont know the magic like others. BUT it seems maybe he has problems or stress causing his love retardation. Communication is the only way.
 
SluttyPeach said:
Damn, that sucks! I'm sorry you are going through this, it's happened to me before too and.. Hate to toot my own horn but I'm not ugly at all. So please don't feel like it's your fault. It seems to me as though you are the only person trying to keep this going and it takes 2 to tango. Ultimatums can be silly but in this case.. If I were you I'd tell him if he doesn't show interest or at least try and make an effort then you will leave him.

I'm aware that sex isn't the most important thing in a relationship but physical intimacy is nonetheless very important. And it looks to me like since he doesn't want to do something you both should enjoy to please you then he probably doesn't do much of anything else for you either and it will not get any better. You deserve better, if he doesn't make an effort then dump him.

It seems like it would be hard to leave after all this time, but you deserve to be with someone who makes you feel GOOD about yourself. Also, the best way to get over a man is to get under another one, lol ;)

Good luck!
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Perfect answer
 
Sometimes sex naturally fades in really long-term relationships or in marriage, but it's usually a mutual thing.

IMO when sex stops the relationship is on its way out. I've never had it go any other way, and that was after a LOT of trying to fix it and return things to normal.

It really sucks and I'm sorry you're going through that. It prob has little to do with how attractive you are.
 
dopemaster said:
It could be that he has lost interest in the relationship. I know that sounds harsh but it is something you should consider to be what is going on.

I am guessing you two live together, right? So I find it is easy to stay complacent in a relationship if you live with someone. You don't want to leave because you split bills, split chores, and are used to each others company. But things have fizzled out in the bedroom, so the sex stops.

I have been in that situation and I was the one not putting out. I just was young and did not know how to end a long term relationship so it was easier to just live with her and stop having sex with her. I was not cheating but I was masturbating and well so was she.

I suppose we ended up staying together so long because we were friends too and still are years later. The thing about that woman was we were friends and if I was still attracted to her, well I would be with her but I am not.

So it might be that he still cares about you but has moved on sexually without really knowing it. His lack of interest is no ones fault. Everyone has lost interest in a partner at one point in time.

So you can go about trying to fix things and maybe you just need to change things up a bit (spice up in the bedroom, get in shape, get your hair and nails done). I would try to look at the relationship and decided if you want to be in it. You can't always fix things. Sometimes you can.

So really what might work is an honest conversation about what's up and honestly if you do not get a solid answer than you should know things are probably gonna stay the way they are if you stay in the relationship. If he expresses what is going on and takes steps to fix it, well than maybe things will work out.

My advice is just be honest with yourself and don't let this whole thing fuck up your self esteem.
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This. You will be okay. The interminable wait between now and then is hopeless and miserable, but eventually when you're ready, you'll be able to move on. Sex is friggin important, and when a partner loses that drive, it's pretty much over. (IN MY EXPERIENCE) I've been on both sides of this.
 
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