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My boyfriend can't get hard enough or stay hard most of the time

I unsubscribe from this thread as I see it continue to be self loathing and supportive of a man who does not deserve
 
He finds you beautiful yet is not sexually attracted to you? What the fuck sense does that make? If i find a woman to be pretty and all of course i would be sexually attracted to her. That sounds abit contradictory there. Also 150lbs is hardly big. Most women i have had a thing for have been almost as heavy as me granted my usual weight is between 155-175lbs and i like taller women on average i guess so being 5'11 and around 160lbs is hardly big at all like one g/f i had. Actually with her build she looked skinny. It's not big anyway and really some of the misogynistic comments on here are fucked. Would guys rather have a woman that looks like a woman or have a woman that looks like a 12 year old girl?

Also there could be many problems causing his sexual dysfunction and it's pretty unfair to blame the woman. It could be psychological issues, drugs like alcohol among others or some physical problem or god knows what. I hardly think that just because a woman is 150lbs that it's automatically her fault. Then again is the guy is this shallow perhaps you would be better off without him. I mean yes sexual attraction is very important in a relationship but ffs who cares if your g/f has a perfectly flat stomach. Talk about a guy with unrealistic standards. What does he get turned off because you don't have a 6 pack 8)

I'm not saying i am not turned on by women who take pride in their appearance but by the sounds of this the guy is taking it a wee bit too far and has some problems of his own. As for the porn thing i don't see anything wrong with that by itself. I mean a former g/f of mine watched just as much porn as i did and we had a very active sex life to say the least. However if all he does is watch porn and jerk off and can't get it up with you that's a problem. Maybe he has false and unrealistic expectations of women from watching porn vids or something who knows.
 
Thank you, I'm doing ok, lost 3 pounds since I posted this...hopefully things get better.. :)
 
To much porn. Same deal with me. But I have a slight Adderall problem, and have become hyper sexed. If he's reached that stage, he may be watching the same porn im about to watch. . . oh, ummm yea, where was i ? I doubt it has anything to do with you at all. But I didnt even read ur post. i just read header. Sorry. Not much to it tho. But the way u worded it, it seemed he USED TO be able to hook u up lovely. if u think he's hookin up another thing, I doubt it. I mean ur posting that ur BF cant get hard. u know EVERYTHING he's doing. If he smokes weed, ask him to wrap that up. He's gotta love you to death. ull be fine. Because again, ur posting that ur BF ding a ling dont get hard. Yet he is still around. thats marriage material girl. Best of luck.
 
Sorry to hear of your experiences Rebecca. I once had an ex-boyfriend who couldn't get hard and I tried everything - lingerie, dirty talk, you name it. This went on at least a few months. It was so frustrating because he was so sexy and I really needed sex. Then I played some reverse psychology. I started to go to bed with him while using my vibrator on myself while he lay there beside me, as if to say, you might not be able to satisfy me, but this will! Guess what? He soon got in a pattern of getting rock hard and we never had a problem thereafter. In fact, making him feel like a lesser man led to some of the best sex ever. We were doing it every day, sometimes twice. Good luck :)
 
How is the weight loss coming. I'm proud of the progress you've made so far. If I remember correctly you said you lost 3 lbs. That's awesome.

I've said it a few times so I apologize if your getting tired of my comments. It just concerns me that he can't accept you the way you are and is asking you to change. If he were asking from a point of concern for your health and wanted you to do it to make yourself feel better healthwise that's one thing and I think that would be coming from a place of love.

But in one of your previous posts he said your body disgusts me and I can't get hard because you're fat.
Once you get down to his idea of an acceptable weight what else is he going to ask you to change to fit his (in my opinion) unrealistic idea of the perfect body and person before he'll get hard and be able to have sex with you. That is not the making of a healthy relationship.

I understand men wanting their women to look the best they can but to go about it the way he is......

But like I said congratulations on your weight lose and keep on doing it for yourself and to make yourself feel good

Edit: I also wanted to tell you I spent 20 years married to a man who there were a lot of bad issues but the one that is relevant to your thread is....

I am a little chubby he never once asked me to loose weight because he couldn't accept it but no matter what I did to make myself look good before we went out (just to the store or something with his work) every time I had myself looking pretty and I felt good in the way I looked he'd come in and tell me to change my hair and he'd ask is that what your wearing. I don't like it go change. And that was after I felt pretty in what I was already wearing. Time after time....hundreds of times......along with everything else it made for a pretty miserable 20 years. Nothing was ever good enough for him.

So when you read my comments know that they are coming from a place of experience and concern as to whether or not this relationship is healthy enough for you to be in
 
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Rebecca914, great job in losing weight. I'm still working at it. I gained back 2 lbs. But I'm still gearing up my gym use.

In general Rebecca, keep losing weight. I know you love him, but I like the others here - do not think he's worth your while.
 
I hear you. I was married before and my ex husband just stopped caring in general. So it didn't work and then I found my boyfriend who was amazing. I didn't know this would be a problem for him. He says he didn't either. I dunno...I'm down 4 pounds :)
 
And thanks, it's nice to have people to discuss this with, outside of my family and friends
 
hi Rebecca, you sound like a nice person & definitely a people-pleaser. but i really think u are wasting your time with this guy! he has turned HIS issue into your problem by convincing u that u aren't good enough. this is not love. its rude-i mean, disgusted because your stomach isn't perfectly flat (& u had a baby!!)? if he really cared he would understand that the problem isn't all u & he may need to adjust his thinking as well. maybe he could encourage you rather than criticize. it sounds like he's trying to shred your self-esteem!

sure, trying to lose weight to be healthy & look good is fine. and i get that u want to turn on your man. its just that through your posts i get a strong "controlling jerk" vibe about him...i'm sorry if this offends you, but my suggestion would be lose the weight that is HIM.

good luck either way!
 
Why do chicks always fuck with these assholes!?!?? I'm sorry but have a little more respect for yourself Hun! I'm not trying to be mean, I'm coming from a caring place. This dude doesn't deserve your love and all this hard work. This relationship is doomed! It was doomed the moment he said those insulting things to u. And guess what, there's more insults on the way now that he knows he can get a pass for being so cruel. Shit she'll put up with anything so I can do or say whatever I want, she ain't goin nowhere. Trust a dude who used to be an asshole before I grew up, this won't end happily ever after like your trying to make it. Would u leave if he hit u in the heat of passion? He didn't mean to, maybe you shouldntve said that. After all it was your fault. I've seen this show 100 times, don't be a glutton for punishment, you deserve better even if u don't think so...
 
I'm having a similar issue with my current girlfriend. She's a beautiful woman and I really care a lot for her but I can't seem to get it up for her every time, it's hit and miss. It's not you, it's all between his ears.
 
Haha thanks clitnhawk and everyone, I'm not sure what I'm doing yet but for now I'm focusing on me...still with him but who knows what I might decide...and yeah I'm sorry it's happening to you, it sucks being on the girlfriend end of this..
 
Hey y'all just wanted to let you know I'm down 8 lbs...doing good, got my own thing going on :)
 
Rebecca914 said:
Hey y'all just wanted to let you know I'm down 8 lbs...doing good, got my own thing going on :)
Click to expand...

Right on Rebecca, Sounds like another BL success! Keep doing what you do. Just don't do it for some lousy dood. ;)
 
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