My 2 Year Anniversary....

[neversickanymore]

Hey your doing great!! enjoy it.. no need to defend yourself and no need to prove anything if you are rolling how you want to. keep at it.. you know where you are going and how you want to get there.

 

[Delmonte421]

Oh! But yes I DID forget to show the pictures of when I took HGH with 400mg of test, AND i did have a vial of IM dianabol. And I ran it for exactly one month. And yes. What Arnie and Dorian say is true, that shit is fucking awesome. HGH especially.

HGH is great but super ecpesivse if your getting real shit and Pharma grade Pfizer pen. Shit is VERY expensive at that and I was running maybe 4uI a day 2 in the morning 2 in night for well being and to help sleep fromjm the 600mg of tren I was running with the 400mg of test lol But I LOVE HGH but it does accelerate the growth of cancer which is shown in publication so there that and when mixed with insulin can cause MANY BODY PROBLEMs look at Ronnie Coleman and jay cutler had bloated bellies which is such a bad look and they say it's from HGH

 

[chicken hoagie]

can I ask why you got shot and what happened? were you moving serious weight? your truly a blessed lucky person

Yes, cartel heavy. Oddly enough it was a bunch of gay dudes. But the main bachelor was a very charming..um...i mean ill be honest he was the Dallas gay community KP for ice and GHB and he had a MAJOR crush on me.


The WEIRDEST FUCKING PART.


He was dating a bisexual dude that had just paroled from a prison I was born and grew exactly 2 blocks away from for 22 years in Pontiac, IL.

It was most literally a constant sausage fest and they all had a crush on me ofc, so I have made money off them in multiple ways...he had so much ice on this one single glass plate 24/7 that i could have taken a couple ounces we very single day and he would never have noticed but I basically became their bodygaurd and he took me around to sell his weight to the gay community because he said it boosted his street cred as a gay dude.

Anyways, one day Kevin (the head of the bachelor pad which was on the 12th floor of a ritzy condo, smack-dab in the middle of the busiest tourist area of Dallas, Texas where you walk out of the building and all you see is tourists everywhere) introduced me to a gay guy named Teddy.


Teddy was an interesting person. He was the beta in a relationship with an older, overweight half bald guy that he called Daddy. Anyways, Teddy was the one that supplied the all of the acid and molly in their HUGE circle..Teddy, of course, had a crush on me. Luckily by this point my bisexual friend from pontiac prison got me a female to be with, so her and I moved in with the gay ice using hippies (no judgment, I am one too). Anyways, I am finally worn out for today so to keep it "short," a drifter who was gay wasnt paying his part of the rent, meanwhile I was...selling MAJOR umm...major "nootropic" products. And mainly good ole G'ski. And yes, I am talking gallons of G'ski....so i passed out in their kitchen once after me and one of our buddy's took some fake xanax (on purpose like idiots). I blacked out, woke up to being dragged out the kitchen by my ankles by a bunch of gay dudes...

You can imagine what happened next. If you can picture a man that, when he flatlined fighting 8 nurses, the head nurse told me that one thing was for sure, I quote, "aint nobody taking your ass for free"



So when i finally came to out of my blackout, i was in the parking lot of the hotel complex when I see my friend talking to someone 50 yards away in a white charger...I walk up saying "bro come on what are you..."

"Get back bro dont get too close!"


I put my hands up, turn around about 9p degrees, and from the driver's side of the charger, I see the man roll his shoulder girdle, and out comes a revolver with a barrel the length of anyone's forearm.

And I will give him this, he made quite the fuckin' shot. I'm a ninja by nature, and he gave me absolutely .0001~ seconds to react (so i didn't react). It was just the sound of a cannon, the dark smoke and fire coming from the barrel, and a puff of fire and disintegrated large intestines packed full of digested peanut butter blasting through my lower abdomen, as I instantaneously plank out and go to sleep.


As I lost consciousness, i see him drive past, between me and my own vehicle. My friend came running and screaming my name. He covered my entire body...

The man pointed his gun at my dome, but my(and his) "friend" got furious and didnt want to shoot him. So he points to the opposite direction and puts a hole the size of a distorted half-dollar coin in the trunk of my car. He made it past two speed bumps, a gate with two security gaurds, and a dallas police officer posted right across from the entrance(due to a black guy getting shot 2 weeks prior in the hotel room below ours and died when his friend was driving him to the hospital). My friend called the same hospital JFK officially died at.

The guy who shot me was never found. They never even bothered to look for him. My doctor was a black lady, who came in one time while I was awake, looked at my staples, took 2 out that werent holding together and left the room.


We never spoke a spoke a single word to eachother. Not a single word. We both understood and nothing had to be said.

 

[chicken hoagie]

My life in Dallas was no game. I had the wildest experiences of my life and I have stories that I can tell most literally for DAYS. And I LOVE telling them, and oftentimes I tell it through comedic relief and some of them are indeed the most hilarious stories (in hindsight only though).

I know I have a good soul, only because when I had my first GHB psychosis which lasted for an entire week before my ex and my family finally figured out how to find me and get me to a detox center which at the time didnt even know was a "thing." But when my mom said if i would go if she sent me an uber, i went from lost in the sauce COMPLETELY, to breaking down in tears saying "yes, yes, yes, yes please"..

Many people in that kind of psychosis end up showing their true spirits, I believe. Many end up killing individuals, or self harming, or something terrible.


For me, it was purely confusion (i convinced myself by the 3rd day in psychosis that i took acid and just didnt remember taking it). My parents were furious as FUCK because i overflowed the bath tub while taking a bath and the water was leaking out of the foundation of the house . I sat on my bed chilling, dad calls police, tries ratting on me for having testosterone (the cops saw my name on it and told him that they take testosterone too and its not a big deal). I stayed COMPLETELY CHILL and said to myself "alright, im super fucked up, but i did nothing wrong so i wont go to jail." And so the cops opted to offer me a ride to the hospital to seperate me and my parents for awhile and I was cool with it.


Problem is, my parents wanted me to come back home on the Tram station.


i'll just pause and say, are you guys willing to read a nice little story? Because it is very long, but VERY funny

 

[Delmonte421]

My life in Dallas was no game. I had the wildest experiences of my life and I have stories that I can tell most literally for DAYS. And I LOVE telling them, and oftentimes I tell it through comedic relief and some of them are indeed the most hilarious stories (in hindsight only though).

I know I have a good soul, only because when I had my first GHB psychosis which lasted for an entire week before my ex and my family finally figured out how to find me and get me to a detox center which at the time didnt even know was a "thing." But when my mom said if i would go if she sent me an uber, i went from lost in the sauce COMPLETELY, to breaking down in tears saying "yes, yes, yes, yes please"..

Many people in that kind of psychosis end up showing their true spirits, I believe. Many end up killing individuals, or self harming, or something terrible.


For me, it was purely confusion (i convinced myself by the 3rd day in psychosis that i took acid and just didnt remember taking it). My parents were furious as FUCK because i overflowed the bath tub while taking a bath and the water was leaking out of the foundation of the house . I sat on my bed chilling, dad calls police, tries ratting on me for having testosterone (the cops saw my name on it and told him that they take testosterone too and its not a big deal). I stayed COMPLETELY CHILL and said to myself "alright, im super fucked up, but i did nothing wrong so i wont go to jail." And so the cops opted to offer me a ride to the hospital to seperate me and my parents for awhile and I was cool with it.


Problem is, my parents wanted me to come back home on the Tram station.


i'll just pause and say, are you guys willing to read a nice little story? Because it is very long, but VERY funny

im fully invested at this point if you want to add more detail

 

[chicken hoagie]

@Delmonte421


I will get to it tomorrow. Im exhausted. But, I'll finish this story tomorrow for sure. It was just as funny(and brutal) leaving Dallas to come back home to illinois (only to end up getting my car stolen after i found myself in another psychosis and homeless)

 

[Weezyfidelis]

Hi there . I do in fact take testosterone injections now. (Started just a couple months before being shot) But, here are some photos of me before I went to prison (in the gray shirt) and 3 years later after i got out. I was out on parole twice, started using meth and lost all of my progress each and every time. The other photos I present here, is me 3 years ago when I got out from my last prison stint. I know us men are competitive and get jealous easily by nature, but these are all natural photos, good friend . Tuna, instant coffee, oatmeal and peanut butter were my only steroids. I know, hard to believe. No one in prison understood either

Oh, but if you would like to improve your health and mental wellbeing, I highly recommend testosterone replacement therapy. I know I might look old as dog shit, but im only 30.

Only pictures of me on gear are post-surgery. Pretty amazing that my colon split in half and I never required a shitbag isn't it?


Steroids saved my life - the doctor and nurses made no question of that. I battled a very nasty mold-blood infection and pissed steaming hot razor blades for a week.


And well...ya know...If I die, I would prefer to die how I want to. That means not getting shot by a gay meth head, and rather die with a slice of pizza in my mouth, so as my wise paps says.


Cheers

You are a liar. You are on gear in these pictures, that’s not possible without steroids. Also not possible in prison I have been there. You are on testosterone replacement at age 30!? Yeah that’s because you are a juicer. If those pictures were “natural” then THERE IS NO WAY YOU WOULD NEED HORMONES REPLACEMENT SURGERY. But it’s not natural, we are not stupid.

 

[chicken hoagie]

You are a liar. You are on gear in these pictures, that’s not possible without steroids. Also not possible in prison I have been there. You are on testosterone replacement at age 30!? Yeah that’s because you are a juicer. If those pictures were “natural” then THERE IS NO WAY YOU WOULD NEED HORMONES REPLACEMENT SURGERY. But it’s not natural, we are not stupid.

I LOVE jealous dudes like you and I literally feed off of it. And its exactly why everyone in the joint told me to get on steroids when I got out. Here is a picture of me, first day out of prison, never having taken a single PED in my life. Lol. When guys in the joint saw me come in, they asked if I worked out in the world. i said no, I smoke, shoot, boof, eat and snort meth...as I pound out 15 reps of dips with 115lbs on my legs. Jealousy is all you have, bud. Again, here is me, from that skinny kid in the gray shirt, to this in 4 years time with prison food and yoyo weightlifting-meth using in between, and I put that on my family's life, bud.














I have no reason to lie. I decided to start taking steroids soon after these photos because I wanted to be an IFBB Pro. I still want to be, but I am a drug addict, dude. It is hard to find balance with stimulants and gaining weight to be an IFBB.

 

[chicken hoagie]

You are a liar. You are on gear in these pictures, that’s not possible without steroids. Also not possible in prison I have been there. You are on testosterone replacement at age 30!? Yeah that’s because you are a juicer. If those pictures were “natural” then THERE IS NO WAY YOU WOULD NEED HORMONES REPLACEMENT SURGERY. But it’s not natural, we are not stupid.

Hey, btw greenlighter, you might wanna consider getting on TRT. That car in your PF isn't doing much for your insecurities.

And what the fuck is hormone replacement SURGERY?


Oh gosh, somebody let this guy know something, or is it pointless?

Unbelievable the number of people so jealous and upset of others' recovery. Dont get mad bro. Just get on my fuckin' level or sit the fuck down and hit that pipe again.

 

[Delmonte421]

still wanna hear the ending of the Dallas story that ended in you in Illinois homeless after yet another meth binge

 

[chicken hoagie]

still wanna hear the ending of the Dallas story that ended in you in Illinois homeless after yet another meth binge

I will have to tell my first psychosis story seperately as it came before I was shot.


Fast forward post-surgery,

I came home and told my parents to leave me be in my room to heal for the next couple weeks while I play runescape on my PC. Unfortunately my parents didn't know how to cope with my situation, and my mother came in arguing that I needed to get a job and that I'm lazy and yadayada..naturally i got upset, in my underwear I told her to leave my room. Out walks my father from his room with his .45 and puts the laser in my eye. I run out the house, (actually late for a psychiatrist appt.) And plan to leave after putting on some jeans. My shirt is still off when my mother grabs the garden hose and blasts me in my stomach and it knocks me to the ground..she proceeded to drown my mouth out and screamed at me to "get the fuck up bitch."

I love my parents to death, and they dont use drugs, but they snapped.

I called my psychiatrist, soaking wet driving, and told them what happened. The receptionist said go to the nearest mcdonalds and wait for the police. I said are you sure? She says yes im going to get you help.

Police come, and because they have already dealt with me and my family arguing before, one specific officer swore that they would not get away with what they did.

I opted to not press charges because I love them and it would really only hurt me in the end because they still take care of me from a distance. But i decided to come back to Illinois as I was still getting death threats and I was paranoid at this point beyond belief. My psychiatrist had me on 20mg of dexedrine, 2mg of xanax XR, 1mg of klonopin, 100mg seroquel, and ..no BS, 5,000mg of gabapentin a day.

As I came back, I first grabbed a ball of meth, a ball of black tar heroin, a quarter of bud, an ounce of shrooms, and took all of my steroids as well with me.

So on my way back, I become so paranoid from speedballing (shooting tar with meth) that I was hallucinating that the missouri state troopers were chasing me and followed me into a gas station bathroom. I got to the mississippi bridge, and thought there were midgets in road crew uniforms shining spotlights on me for the troopers to catch me before i made it across the bridge into illinois.

I make it to my hometown, and im still hallucinating..end up going to my best friends house out in the country who i hadnt seen in a good 7 years. No one was home but i went inside and smoked some weed up in his room to sit and think about what to do. This is when the hallucinations really set in.


By this time I had picked an entire chunk of my nose off. I start hearing voices coming from outside the house. I hear a police officer talking to my friends foster parents. The officer described everything i was wearing to a T, and i decided that I was popped and i walked out with my hands up.


Nobody was there.


I walked back inside, this time I walk upstairs and a window looking down the country road to another house, I hear police on a loudspeaker telling me if i reach for my bag I would be shot. I started laughing as i reach for my bag and thinking my heads about to be blown off, I said yup, Im trippin'.


My buddy gets home, we kick it for a bit and I tell him im fucked up real bad. But I end up leaving and go to a town over...



My mother tries booking me a room in a hotel. I go, check in, and for some reason I believed that one of my friends was coming over with his wife to hang out and get high. So im sitting in the room using more ice with my buddy and his wife, end up in the bathroom for hours picking more of my nose off and I hear his wife in the room talking shit. I get in the shower, and my contact in my right eye falls out. I catch it in my hand and start yelling for my friend to come grab it. I hear him say nah bro i aint doin' that nahhhh. I get so mad i said fuck it then bro youre an asshole. And throw my contact away. So now i only have one contact lense in, and i get out, hear someone knock on the door of my bathroom saying "housekeeping" and thought it was them fucking with me. I go to open the door and hit myself right in my stomach scar with the doorknob and start cussing up a storm. The maid goes running out of the room scared for her life, but i didnt know at the time it was actually the maid. I had my lockbox sitting out and open, and my hotel window was open and now my friend and his wife are gone (i thought they went to the room next door because i thought i heard them talking on the other side of the wall even though they were never actually even there).

I see a flashlight come through my window, and i see a police officer and i hurry and shut the blinds, run and hide my lockbox with my stash in the bathroom, open the blinds back up and say look, nothing here!

Next thing you know, i hear some noise coming from my air conditioner. And i see a police officer trying to get through my air conditioner. I run to the front desk and a young girl is working, and I say hey just so you know theres a police officer outside my window trying to get in through my AC unit. She says ummm..what? Uhhh..let me go check?


She comes back and says nobody is there. I started laughing and said what do you mean no ones there come in my room ill show you right now. She follows me in, and i see the shadow of the officer and i say, SEE? HES RIGHT THERE. She goes ummmm, ohhhh okay uhhh, let me go get my manager to see what to do...


The arab manager comes, and says hey buddy no worries buddy i tell officer we move you! We tell him we got rid of you so no worries buddy you are good. I said omg thank you so much man you are awesome. (He totally knew i was fucking GONE and somehow knew what to say to get me to relax. I also found out later the young girl actually called my mom back and told her how fucked up i was and was worried for me and didnt know what to do.) So i end up breaking down with unspeakable pain. I had no idea where this physical pain was coming from but i started crying in pain and said i couldnt take it anymore. I told my mom i was leaving and going to the hospital. Walked to the front lobby with all my stuff crying with my shirt off(once again, always got my damn shirt off). Im crying to the young girl telling her how ive been shot and i needed to leave and go to the hospital. When im leaving in my car, i thought i saw someone waiting with a gun on my way out and blocked my passenger side window with all of my luggage and sped out of there as fast as possible.



Well, I end up in the country again.

But this time, it was bad. By this point I had passed out in some random farmer's front yard. Bright, sunny day, i wake up and no shirt on again. I had picked my scar off bleeding everywhere. A dog is in the yard chillin, and i gotta take a shit BAD.


I go over to this concrete block that used to be part of a building i guess, and squatted down and took a huge shit. The dog runs up, gobbles down my turd and then promptly rolls around in the leftovers

i started DYING laughing and said WTF is wrong with you dawg


Anyways, i thought a purge was going on and that i was at this farm to defend myself and team up with whoever was here to collect resources and survive. I walk in the house (knocked and nobody answered) and i call out for anybody thats home. Nobody.

I sit and wait on the porch for 45 minutes and all of a sudden the farmer shows up.


here is a twist for you. This farmer had the same exact stomach scar as me. i said WOAH. How did you get yours!? He said car accident. I said oh, i got shot. Lol. He asked me if i went inside his house and I said yes but i didnt take anything i just thought my friend lived here or something idk why im here ill be honest. Lol.


He said wait here, so i did. Next thing you know a cop shows up, gun drawn yelling at me to get on the ground. I started crying and said please dont shoot i dont want to be shot again lol. Before you know it a bunch of cops are there, and search my vehicle and find my "motherload."


This is all just fucking nutty, i promise you.


I tell them i swear that this farmer saw a man on a 4 wheeler get his head sniped off and blood squirting out of their brain stem. The asshole farmer tried saying i broke in and that his house was locked which was not true. So im some observation room before you know it, and all i hear the cops say "well hes innocent until proven guilty right?"


Before you know it im walking out of the county jail, never got fingerprinted, never got my picture taken, and this officer hands me my bag of property.


My bag of property: 3.5 grams of meth mixed with suboxone in a pill crusher. All of my steroid vials. A 100pack of needles. Oral steroids(in total maybe 40 packs and vials), 7 grams of bud, bottle of gabapentin unlabelled..EVERYTHING i had EXCEPT the mushrooms!!


He smiled at me and said "HERE YA GO HERES YOUR STUFF"


i said ....

THAT AINT MY SHIT THROW THAT SHIT AWAY.

he said you're telling me that this property ISNT yours?

I said HELL NO THROW IT THE FUCK AWAY RIGHT NOW.


He said okay, i am throwing YOUR property, in the trash *and i watch him do it*
I said whatever dude its not mine but thats cool throw that shit away bye!
As i am leaving, a black dude walks in and says that he had just got booked out of the jail and had his cell phone sitting in the lobby, and watched an officer in plain clothes steal his phone and walk out. I stand by to see whats going to happen, because I saw an officer in plain clothes walk out. The CO in the bubble checks the cameras as me and dude are standing by...and I see the COs face LIGHT UP! His jaw drops, he stares at us, points at the camera, my jaw drops, now conspiracies are AFLY!

i came to a conclusion that the officer in plain clothes was the farmer that I said I thought witnessed a dude get his head sniped off of a 4-wheeler, and they're all in on this to cover up the murder and the farmer is now a pig farmer feeding dead bodies to pigs.

I go to pick up my car out of the impound. I only knew to go there because my cousin called and told me to go get it. So i get there, and now I get into it with the dude at the front desk of the impound and think hes in on this conspiracy to not let my car out of the impound and I call the police and demand justice and swear that I will reveal the injustice and corruptness going on and I will get them to figure out the officer-pig farmer-murderer!


A female officer and a male officer show up, very kind officers, explain to me they are recording everything so anything going on will be recorded and I said okay GOOD. (This whole time, deep down i knew that i was going to end up in handcuffs again).

After several minutes go by, the male officer comes up and says,

So, we are going to have to detain you under whats called involuntary petition. I said HUH? WTF IS THAT!? OH HELL NO YOU CANT BAKER ACT ME THIS AINT FLORIDA. He said welllll, actually yeah we can. I SAID BULLSHIT. Needless to say, in the handcuffs I go, and I am giving this cop pure hell in his squad car on the way to the hospital. I saw him typing stuff on his laptop and when i tried to look, he saw me take a peep and slammed his laptop shut. (Here we go again, my mind is once again exploding with conspiracy theories) and I give this man hell. Turns out, my parents had texts from me saying I was going to jump off of a bridge with a bunch of "" emojis. He showed me the screenshot as a printout in unnecessarily huge bold letters.

I get to the hospital (no idea where I'm heading) and they put me in a room and a lady is trying to tell me to just relax for 10 minutes and they will maybe let me go.

Things only get worse from here unfortunately. Worse and worse.

I see them grab my phone, and I thought they had plugged it into their computers and saw IT guys going through my information. I started yelling into the security camera and yelling at them that they will never delete my information permanently and I have backups after backups after backups, laughing hysterically. Before you know it, they lock the door on me because Im not calming down. Now, I have been in segregation/isolation and I am a little fucked up from it. So naturally, this is where the pinnacle is reached. I start speaking in arabic type prayer, talking about runescape shit, getting in a sprinting stance and charging full speed at the door. Two big security guards were standing there guarding it, frightened out of their minds when i slammed into that door. I did it over and over again, harder, and harder and harder. I screamed at the camera that this would all be on the news and social media, yada yada....


Eventually after a couple hours, they had enough and about 8 people come in, two of them holding a giant syringe. I knew EXACTLY what that meant.


"Oh fuck, not the booty juice"


"Do NOT RESIST OR IT WILL JUST HURT MORE"


I immediately went and sat on the bed, went from 100 to 0, and said "just get it over with"

They came in, all held me down by every limb, and stuck each shoulder at the same time. I YELPED, and planked sideways onto the bed and went nighty night.

I woke up the next morning, see a breakfast tray sitting there, nurse tells me get on the computer...I walk over, see a doctor on the screen. He says "Good morning jordan, how are you feeling? "

"Ehhhhhhhhhhh" *long moan*


"Do you wanna get back on your psych meds and feel better?"



"......." "YESSSSSSSS"

.


SO, like I said, it ONLY GETS WORSE.


So, i go up to the psych ward and get checked in. They put me on some nasty ass risperdal and some gabapentin and such. Now before when I was in a psychosis from the GHB, seroquel, ativan, and gabapentin were literally enough to completely HALT all of my hallucinations and withdrawals!

This time, something strange happened. I dont believe in paranormal shit too much, but i had a straight up EXORCISM.

The nurse comes in my room the next day, and says she wanted to check my stomach scar bandage from me picking off my scar. I told her something didnt feel right...


All of a sudden, i crawl on my bed, and my heels are trying to curl up, my head curling back, and my back contorting as hard as it possibly could backwards. My head was trying to touch my heels basically. i started YELLING in agony and could not for the LIFE of me unlock whatever was happening. Every nurse and the doctor came running in, they hit me with shot after shot of ativan, benadryl, clonidine..nothing. dont even fucking feel it. I was even thinking when they said heres another shot of ativan, Oh yes I'll be okay! But no, I was screaming so loud that a couple nurses went running out of the room crying. The doctor was yelling for me to try my hardest to relax..but I blacked out. Next thing you know I wake up in the ICU, dazed and confused...I went into critical condition, and they told my family I wasnt going to make it.


But somehow I did, and the doctors never figured out what happened to me. But i started feeling funny again, and I said Y'ALL NEED TO GIVE ME A SUBOXONE PLEASE I PROMISE YOU IT WILL CURE THIS.

And, well...it did. I felt better and made it out about 5 days later. And the crazy part is, I never got charged with those mushrooms either because I ended up in the psych ward. And had I walked out with my property, I would have been FUCKED .


I ended up back at that psych ward about a year later, and my calves started locking up and the doctor saw me and he said "is it happening again jordan??" I started crying and said yes. He sat me down in the hallway and brought me suboxone and some muscle relaxers and stopped it before it took hold this time...i have been to at least 3 other psych wards that same year(all crazy fucking stories). And i NEVER had that shit happen to me except in this one hospital!


Life is crazy folks. Life is crazy.


Sometime maybe ill get around to posting the first psychosis story, that happened before i was shot after I attempted suicide...that was a GHB withdrawal/psychosis..and i had never been in one before, but the story is literally just as funny and a part of the bath tub overflowing and ending up taking the tram home...or so i thought i would make it home...LOL

 

[Delmonte421]

im gonna start reading this now lol looks like a great read

 

[chicken hoagie]

Sorry, i left a part out where i thought my neighbor at the hotel was trying to plot with my friends to steal my hotel TV and get me kicked out.

So i say cmon lets go outside and fight motherfucker(yelling through the wall). I see a shadowy figure come to my window and say come on lets go...and thats after the officer was trying to get in my AC unit, so when i thought this kid was outside waiting for me, he started taking a piss and the officer caught him and started writing him a ticket. I heard him saying how its bullshit and i was in my room talkin shit and dadadada (none of this of course was really happening, but you could NOT have convinced me otherwise. They were all there, and the voices were as real as any other voice). I was laughing my ass off saying "THATS WHAT YOU GET NOW YOURE GOING TO BE A SEX OFFENDER LOL"

 

[Delmonte421]

I will have to tell my first psychosis story seperately as it came before I was shot.


Fast forward post-surgery,

I came home and told my parents to leave me be in my room to heal for the next couple weeks while I play runescape on my PC. Unfortunately my parents didn't know how to cope with my situation, and my mother came in arguing that I needed to get a job and that I'm lazy and yadayada..naturally i got upset, in my underwear I told her to leave my room. Out walks my father from his room with his .45 and puts the laser in my eye. I run out the house, (actually late for a psychiatrist appt.) And plan to leave after putting on some jeans. My shirt is still off when my mother grabs the garden hose and blasts me in my stomach and it knocks me to the ground..she proceeded to drown my mouth out and screamed at me to "get the fuck up bitch."

I love my parents to death, and they dont use drugs, but they snapped.

I called my psychiatrist, soaking wet driving, and told them what happened. The receptionist said go to the nearest mcdonalds and wait for the police. I said are you sure? She says yes im going to get you help.

Police come, and because they have already dealt with me and my family arguing before, one specific officer swore that they would not get away with what they did.

I opted to not press charges because I love them and it would really only hurt me in the end because they still take care of me from a distance. But i decided to come back to Illinois as I was still getting death threats and I was paranoid at this point beyond belief. My psychiatrist had me on 20mg of dexedrine, 2mg of xanax XR, 1mg of klonopin, 100mg seroquel, and ..no BS, 5,000mg of gabapentin a day.

As I came back, I first grabbed a ball of meth, a ball of black tar heroin, a quarter of bud, an ounce of shrooms, and took all of my steroids as well with me.

So on my way back, I become so paranoid from speedballing (shooting tar with meth) that I was hallucinating that the missouri state troopers were chasing me and followed me into a gas station bathroom. I got to the mississippi bridge, and thought there were midgets in road crew uniforms shining spotlights on me for the troopers to catch me before i made it across the bridge into illinois.

I make it to my hometown, and im still hallucinating..end up going to my best friends house out in the country who i hadnt seen in a good 7 years. No one was home but i went inside and smoked some weed up in his room to sit and think about what to do. This is when the hallucinations really set in.


By this time I had picked an entire chunk of my nose off. I start hearing voices coming from outside the house. I hear a police officer talking to my friends foster parents. The officer described everything i was wearing to a T, and i decided that I was popped and i walked out with my hands up.


Nobody was there.


I walked back inside, this time I walk upstairs and a window looking down the country road to another house, I hear police on a loudspeaker telling me if i reach for my bag I would be shot. I started laughing as i reach for my bag and thinking my heads about to be blown off, I said yup, Im trippin'.


My buddy gets home, we kick it for a bit and I tell him im fucked up real bad. But I end up leaving and go to a town over...



My mother tries booking me a room in a hotel. I go, check in, and for some reason I believed that one of my friends was coming over with his wife to hang out and get high. So im sitting in the room using more ice with my buddy and his wife, end up in the bathroom for hours picking more of my nose off and I hear his wife in the room talking shit. I get in the shower, and my contact in my right eye falls out. I catch it in my hand and start yelling for my friend to come grab it. I hear him say nah bro i aint doin' that nahhhh. I get so mad i said fuck it then bro youre an asshole. And throw my contact away. So now i only have one contact lense in, and i get out, hear someone knock on the door of my bathroom saying "housekeeping" and thought it was them fucking with me. I go to open the door and hit myself right in my stomach scar with the doorknob and start cussing up a storm. The maid goes running out of the room scared for her life, but i didnt know at the time it was actually the maid. I had my lockbox sitting out and open, and my hotel window was open and now my friend and his wife are gone (i thought they went to the room next door because i thought i heard them talking on the other side of the wall even though they were never actually even there).

I see a flashlight come through my window, and i see a police officer and i hurry and shut the blinds, run and hide my lockbox with my stash in the bathroom, open the blinds back up and say look, nothing here!

Next thing you know, i hear some noise coming from my air conditioner. And i see a police officer trying to get through my air conditioner. I run to the front desk and a young girl is working, and I say hey just so you know theres a police officer outside my window trying to get in through my AC unit. She says ummm..what? Uhhh..let me go check?


She comes back and says nobody is there. I started laughing and said what do you mean no ones there come in my room ill show you right now. She follows me in, and i see the shadow of the officer and i say, SEE? HES RIGHT THERE. She goes ummmm, ohhhh okay uhhh, let me go get my manager to see what to do...


The arab manager comes, and says hey buddy no worries buddy i tell officer we move you! We tell him we got rid of you so no worries buddy you are good. I said omg thank you so much man you are awesome. (He totally knew i was fucking GONE and somehow knew what to say to get me to relax. I also found out later the young girl actually called my mom back and told her how fucked up i was and was worried for me and didnt know what to do.) So i end up breaking down with unspeakable pain. I had no idea where this physical pain was coming from but i started crying in pain and said i couldnt take it anymore. I told my mom i was leaving and going to the hospital. Walked to the front lobby with all my stuff crying with my shirt off(once again, always got my damn shirt off). Im crying to the young girl telling her how ive been shot and i needed to leave and go to the hospital. When im leaving in my car, i thought i saw someone waiting with a gun on my way out and blocked my passenger side window with all of my luggage and sped out of there as fast as possible.



Well, I end up in the country again.

But this time, it was bad. By this point I had passed out in some random farmer's front yard. Bright, sunny day, i wake up and no shirt on again. I had picked my scar off bleeding everywhere. A dog is in the yard chillin, and i gotta take a shit BAD.


I go over to this concrete block that used to be part of a building i guess, and squatted down and took a huge shit. The dog runs up, gobbles down my turd and then promptly rolls around in the leftovers

i started DYING laughing and said WTF is wrong with you dawg


Anyways, i thought a purge was going on and that i was at this farm to defend myself and team up with whoever was here to collect resources and survive. I walk in the house (knocked and nobody answered) and i call out for anybody thats home. Nobody.

I sit and wait on the porch for 45 minutes and all of a sudden the farmer shows up.


here is a twist for you. This farmer had the same exact stomach scar as me. i said WOAH. How did you get yours!? He said car accident. I said oh, i got shot. Lol. He asked me if i went inside his house and I said yes but i didnt take anything i just thought my friend lived here or something idk why im here ill be honest. Lol.


He said wait here, so i did. Next thing you know a cop shows up, gun drawn yelling at me to get on the ground. I started crying and said please dont shoot i dont want to be shot again lol. Before you know it a bunch of cops are there, and search my vehicle and find my "motherload."


This is all just fucking nutty, i promise you.


I tell them i swear that this farmer saw a man on a 4 wheeler get his head sniped off and blood squirting out of their brain stem. The asshole farmer tried saying i broke in and that his house was locked which was not true. So im some observation room before you know it, and all i hear the cops say "well hes innocent until proven guilty right?"


Before you know it im walking out of the county jail, never got fingerprinted, never got my picture taken, and this officer hands me my bag of property.


My bag of property: 3.5 grams of meth mixed with suboxone in a pill crusher. All of my steroid vials. A 100pack of needles. Oral steroids(in total maybe 40 packs and vials), 7 grams of bud, bottle of gabapentin unlabelled..EVERYTHING i had EXCEPT the mushrooms!!


He smiled at me and said "HERE YA GO HERES YOUR STUFF"


i said ....

THAT AINT MY SHIT THROW THAT SHIT AWAY.

he said you're telling me that this property ISNT yours?

I said HELL NO THROW IT THE FUCK AWAY RIGHT NOW.


He said okay, i am throwing YOUR property, in the trash *and i watch him do it*
I said whatever dude its not mine but thats cool throw that shit away bye!
As i am leaving, a black dude walks in and says that he had just got booked out of the jail and had his cell phone sitting in the lobby, and watched an officer in plain clothes steal his phone and walk out. I stand by to see whats going to happen, because I saw an officer in plain clothes walk out. The CO in the bubble checks the cameras as me and dude are standing by...and I see the COs face LIGHT UP! His jaw drops, he stares at us, points at the camera, my jaw drops, now conspiracies are AFLY!

i came to a conclusion that the officer in plain clothes was the farmer that I said I thought witnessed a dude get his head sniped off of a 4-wheeler, and they're all in on this to cover up the murder and the farmer is now a pig farmer feeding dead bodies to pigs.

I go to pick up my car out of the impound. I only knew to go there because my cousin called and told me to go get it. So i get there, and now I get into it with the dude at the front desk of the impound and think hes in on this conspiracy to not let my car out of the impound and I call the police and demand justice and swear that I will reveal the injustice and corruptness going on and I will get them to figure out the officer-pig farmer-murderer!


A female officer and a male officer show up, very kind officers, explain to me they are recording everything so anything going on will be recorded and I said okay GOOD. (This whole time, deep down i knew that i was going to end up in handcuffs again).

After several minutes go by, the male officer comes up and says,

So, we are going to have to detain you under whats called involuntary petition. I said HUH? WTF IS THAT!? OH HELL NO YOU CANT BAKER ACT ME THIS AINT FLORIDA. He said welllll, actually yeah we can. I SAID BULLSHIT. Needless to say, in the handcuffs I go, and I am giving this cop pure hell in his squad car on the way to the hospital. I saw him typing stuff on his laptop and when i tried to look, he saw me take a peep and slammed his laptop shut. (Here we go again, my mind is once again exploding with conspiracy theories) and I give this man hell. Turns out, my parents had texts from me saying I was going to jump off of a bridge with a bunch of "" emojis. He showed me the screenshot as a printout in unnecessarily huge bold letters.

I get to the hospital (no idea where I'm heading) and they put me in a room and a lady is trying to tell me to just relax for 10 minutes and they will maybe let me go.

Things only get worse from here unfortunately. Worse and worse.

I see them grab my phone, and I thought they had plugged it into their computers and saw IT guys going through my information. I started yelling into the security camera and yelling at them that they will never delete my information permanently and I have backups after backups after backups, laughing hysterically. Before you know it, they lock the door on me because Im not calming down. Now, I have been in segregation/isolation and I am a little fucked up from it. So naturally, this is where the pinnacle is reached. I start speaking in arabic type prayer, talking about runescape shit, getting in a sprinting stance and charging full speed at the door. Two big security guards were standing there guarding it, frightened out of their minds when i slammed into that door. I did it over and over again, harder, and harder and harder. I screamed at the camera that this would all be on the news and social media, yada yada....


Eventually after a couple hours, they had enough and about 8 people come in, two of them holding a giant syringe. I knew EXACTLY what that meant.


"Oh fuck, not the booty juice"


"Do NOT RESIST OR IT WILL JUST HURT MORE"


I immediately went and sat on the bed, went from 100 to 0, and said "just get it over with"

They came in, all held me down by every limb, and stuck each shoulder at the same time. I YELPED, and planked sideways onto the bed and went nighty night.

I woke up the next morning, see a breakfast tray sitting there, nurse tells me get on the computer...I walk over, see a doctor on the screen. He says "Good morning jordan, how are you feeling? "

"Ehhhhhhhhhhh" *long moan*


"Do you wanna get back on your psych meds and feel better?"



"......." "YESSSSSSSS"

.


SO, like I said, it ONLY GETS WORSE.


So, i go up to the psych ward and get checked in. They put me on some nasty ass risperdal and some gabapentin and such. Now before when I was in a psychosis from the GHB, seroquel, ativan, and gabapentin were literally enough to completely HALT all of my hallucinations and withdrawals!

This time, something strange happened. I dont believe in paranormal shit too much, but i had a straight up EXORCISM.

The nurse comes in my room the next day, and says she wanted to check my stomach scar bandage from me picking off my scar. I told her something didnt feel right...


All of a sudden, i crawl on my bed, and my heels are trying to curl up, my head curling back, and my back contorting as hard as it possibly could backwards. My head was trying to touch my heels basically. i started YELLING in agony and could not for the LIFE of me unlock whatever was happening. Every nurse and the doctor came running in, they hit me with shot after shot of ativan, benadryl, clonidine..nothing. dont even fucking feel it. I was even thinking when they said heres another shot of ativan, Oh yes I'll be okay! But no, I was screaming so loud that a couple nurses went running out of the room crying. The doctor was yelling for me to try my hardest to relax..but I blacked out. Next thing you know I wake up in the ICU, dazed and confused...I went into critical condition, and they told my family I wasnt going to make it.


But somehow I did, and the doctors never figured out what happened to me. But i started feeling funny again, and I said Y'ALL NEED TO GIVE ME A SUBOXONE PLEASE I PROMISE YOU IT WILL CURE THIS.

And, well...it did. I felt better and made it out about 5 days later. And the crazy part is, I never got charged with those mushrooms either because I ended up in the psych ward. And had I walked out with my property, I would have been FUCKED .


I ended up back at that psych ward about a year later, and my calves started locking up and the doctor saw me and he said "is it happening again jordan??" I started crying and said yes. He sat me down in the hallway and brought me suboxone and some muscle relaxers and stopped it before it took hold this time...i have been to at least 3 other psych wards that same year(all crazy fucking stories). And i NEVER had that shit happen to me except in this one hospital!


Life is crazy folks. Life is crazy.


Sometime maybe ill get around to posting the first psychosis story, that happened before i was shot after I attempted suicide...that was a GHB withdrawal/psychosis..and i had never been in one before, but the story is literally just as funny and a part of the bath tub overflowing and ending up taking the tram home...or so i thought i would make it home...LOL

wow thats a crazy story dude....... keep it coming man you should write a book

 

[Delmonte421]

Sorry, i left a part out where i thought my neighbor at the hotel was trying to plot with my friends to steal my hotel TV and get me kicked out.

So i say cmon lets go outside and fight motherfucker(yelling through the wall). I see a shadowy figure come to my window and say come on lets go...and thats after the officer was trying to get in my AC unit, so when i thought this kid was outside waiting for me, he started taking a piss and the officer caught him and started writing him a ticket. I heard him saying how its bullshit and i was in my room talkin shit and dadadada (none of this of course was really happening, but you could NOT have convinced me otherwise. They were all there, and the voices were as real as any other voice). I was laughing my ass off saying "THATS WHAT YOU GET NOW YOURE GOING TO BE A SEX OFFENDER LOL"

wow dude thats crazy. SO you literally have these full ut scenarios going on in your head and in "real life" none of that is happening and your just twicked out. That is literally how they say its like on TV and I watched the movie Spun and that sounds exactly like what you had going on there lol Im assuming your off the shit now as your typing etc but god damn meth really gets people to go crazy like that

Dude its great you can laugh about it now

 

[chicken hoagie]

wow dude thats crazy. SO you literally have these full ut scenarios going on in your head and in "real life" none of that is happening and your just twicked out. That is literally how they say its like on TV and I watched the movie Spun and that sounds exactly like what you had going on there lol Im assuming your off the shit now as your typing etc but god damn meth really gets people to go crazy like that

Dude its great you can laugh about it now

You would be surprised what drugs can fuckin' do...ask datura. Or you can ask me about my GHB psychosis..theres a term they call them in Dallas called G-heads. Its a whole different type of ball game and you literally only understand any of it if you get lost in the sauce on G with other G heads. Its telepathic and demented. Collectively known as G-world, the most common term everyone knew was just "its a G thing." Asked my good friend back home who used to make it and was heavily addicted to it and at one point had uncontrollable seizures in the ICU for 2 days straight while on 4 different ridiculously high doses of anticonvulsants (literally hundreds of mg's of ativan didnt stop his seizures). He concomitantly agreed with everything I said..and we also both agreed, its the one drug more dangerous than fentanyl, and quite frankly way more powerful, (and naturally inside of you believe it or not), than any other drug besides DMT, or K-holing, or perhaps maybe salvia in terms of weirdness although ive never tried it(yet). Absolutely amazing if used correctly, but good luck getting the right amount that doesnt have you either convulsing from an allergic reaction (took a friend to the ICU twice for seizing up in my car for hours on end and im surprised he lived because he watched his mom die from a seizure), or just overshooting your dose and dying by inhalation of vomit from passing out on your back or in my case a couple of times had my friends there to knock me silly when i started literally croaking like a frog and projectile vomiting everywhere. Or karping out on purpose in the bedroom of your parents house, waking up flat on the floor wondering how you didnt overdose and die, knowing nobody was around to save you. And then savagely getting up without thinking twice about it, and watching porn until you bust like a wild animal all over the floor.

It will make you bite a chicks neck like a vampire. And you will know what a female orgasm finally feels like because no other sex compares, especially when combined with meth you will never see that orgasm again in your life when you experience it. had sex for 7 hours straight in the shower once, and we both climaxed for I wanna say 5 entire minutes, to the point where we literally asked eachother when it would stop. And I just couldnt believe I couldnt stop climaxing. Literally just, impossible.

But then the nightmares came. And the nightmares collided with reality. Its all so vivid, ill never forget a single detail of my hallucinations.

Was it worth my sanity? That fucking pure BLISS and euphoria?

Hahahahaha,


I'm still here

And, Most importantly..

i am extremely blessed that I snapped back to reality every time that I have been saved. And I am thankful for all of those that did save me, every single fucking damn time. I truly am blessed to still be here, with a sane mind.

 

[skipjames]

wow thats a crazy story dude....... keep it coming man you should write a book

seriously @chicken hoagie first of all kudos for all your achievements and seriously, I agree with @Delmonte421 , you should write your experiences down for a book or even better for a Netflix or Amazon serie, trust me if done properly it could be super successful, Breaking Bad meets Euphoria meets the Tiger King, gay Texan drug dealers, prison, mental issues, drugs, fall and redemption, fuck if I was a native English speaker I ld give u a hand if needed! If it sounds like I m taking the piss I m sorry , but actually I m serious

 

[Delmonte421]

seriously @chicken hoagie first of all kudos for all your achievements and seriously, I agree with @Delmonte421 , you should write your experiences down for a book or even better for a Netflix or Amazon serie, trust me if done properly it could be super successful, Breaking Bad meets Euphoria meets the Tiger King, gay Texan drug dealers, prison, mental issues, drugs, fall and redemption, fuck if I was a native English speaker I ld give u a hand if needed! If it sounds like I m taking the piss I m sorry , but actually I m serious

yea I love reading this stories dude they actually help me understand my craxyniess and definitely interesting to read. I also feel that its probably super therapeutic for you if it doesn't trigger you. Fuck the haters, yea I agree you r running some real gear but hey I aint gonna argue and you could be right and if you are just on T then bro your genetics should be on the fucking IIBB pro card NO JOKE u have great symmetry etc. im a bodybuilder secretly lol
Dorian Yates is my favorite so you know im about chemical enhancement. I ran Tren a couple times and will nerve again cause the side effects are real but I did got from the 300 to top 400 bench for reps and that was very impressive. God like compound that completely destroyed your life, not worth it.

 

[Delmonte421]

You would be surprised what drugs can fuckin' do...ask datura. Or you can ask me about my GHB psychosis..theres a term they call them in Dallas called G-heads. Its a whole different type of ball game and you literally only understand any of it if you get lost in the sauce on G with other G heads. Its telepathic and demented. Collectively known as G-world, the most common term everyone knew was just "its a G thing." Asked my good friend back home who used to make it and was heavily addicted to it and at one point had uncontrollable seizures in the ICU for 2 days straight while on 4 different ridiculously high doses of anticonvulsants (literally hundreds of mg's of ativan didnt stop his seizures). He concomitantly agreed with everything I said..and we also both agreed, its the one drug more dangerous than fentanyl, and quite frankly way more powerful, (and naturally inside of you believe it or not), than any other drug besides DMT, or K-holing, or perhaps maybe salvia in terms of weirdness although ive never tried it(yet). Absolutely amazing if used correctly, but good luck getting the right amount that doesnt have you either convulsing from an allergic reaction (took a friend to the ICU twice for seizing up in my car for hours on end and im surprised he lived because he watched his mom die from a seizure), or just overshooting your dose and dying by inhalation of vomit from passing out on your back or in my case a couple of times had my friends there to knock me silly when i started literally croaking like a frog and projectile vomiting everywhere. Or karping out on purpose in the bedroom of your parents house, waking up flat on the floor wondering how you didnt overdose and die, knowing nobody was around to save you. And then savagely getting up without thinking twice about it, and watching porn until you bust like a wild animal all over the floor.

It will make you bite a chicks neck like a vampire. And you will know what a female orgasm finally feels like because no other sex compares, especially when combined with meth you will never see that orgasm again in your life when you experience it. had sex for 7 hours straight in the shower once, and we both climaxed for I wanna say 5 entire minutes, to the point where we literally asked eachother when it would stop. And I just couldnt believe I couldnt stop climaxing. Literally just, impossible.

But then the nightmares came. And the nightmares collided with reality. Its all so vivid, ill never forget a single detail of my hallucinations.

Was it worth my sanity? That fucking pure BLISS and euphoria?

Hahahahaha,


I'm still here

And, Most importantly..

i am extremely blessed that I snapped back to reality every time that I have been saved. And I am thankful for all of those that did save me, every single fucking damn time. I truly am blessed to still be here, with a sane mind.

im in awwww you survived the shooting and all that craziness. You seem also like a very opened minded person by how you mention you hang around trans/gay groups. Dude, could you have a story of the day with us and I am being 100 with you. I got some good high school stories cause thats when I did my crazy shit but then I became boring lol. @chicken hoagie when you get up LMK what you think of telling us a literal bit about your life everyday? Ill try to match it with a story but I don't think I can stand up to what you seem to have been through.

 

[chicken hoagie]

im in awwww you survived the shooting and all that craziness. You seem also like a very opened minded person by how you mention you hang around trans/gay groups. Dude, could you have a story of the day with us and I am being 100 with you. I got some good high school stories cause thats when I did my crazy shit but then I became boring lol. @chicken hoagie when you get up LMK what you think of telling us a literal bit about your life everyday? Ill try to match it with a story but I don't think I can stand up to what you seem to have been through.

Boring is okay. I prefer it even though I hate it. It leaves room for a better tomorrow. We are just a rollercoaster ride of neurotransmitters, always fighting to keep the balance of feel-goods with the feel-bads in order. Us drug addicts, we have always had a bit more 'balls' than the crowd that always played it safe and chose to never try. We like the Big rollercoasters. The really big ones. We take big risks. The ride can be traumatic sometimes and people have been known to fall right off, naturally. Some sustain life-long injuries. Others complete the ride and ride it again, and again, and again, and despite their hair being blown back every time, they come back down to reality and are ready for more...

But everyone runs out of energy at some point. Everyone has to come down and take a break, and feel absolute misery because we want to ride the coaster 24/7.

I am like you now. I opt for the ferris wheel. A bit safer, slower paced, still keeps me alive though and keeps me from self-sabotage. Depriving our brains of what it wants can be more dangerous sometimes than keeping it satisfied in smaller doses more frequently.