Hey all,
I'm currently working my way out of a crisis that happened to me last year. I decided to take shrooms for the first time with a friend, the trip started off fun with lots of cool visuals, then I remember within the space of a few seconds, I had this immediate feeling of dread wash over me, what followed was 4 hours of hell. I was panicking, crying and hoping it would stop. I can't actually recollect specifics in the trip, except that I couldnt escape it and was asking for reassurance off my friend. When the trip finally wore off I calmed down and went to bed. I noticed some minor anxiety before sleeping but nothing major.
I woke up the next morning and went to work, felt relieved to be feeling ok again. Within minutes of setting off I began having really bad stomach sensations going on, I then got to work and had a severe panic attack, followed by a feeling of dread the rest of the day. This process repeated itself for 3 weeks straight. At one point I felt like I didnt want to be alive anymore. This then happened repeatedly for about 2 months, some days i would wake up 100%, then something would worry me and i'd slip back into this depression.
I spent the next 6 months on anti anxiety medication, which definitely blocked out most the symptoms. I recently tapered off those and everything seems to have come back.
So what keeps happening is that I keep flipping between feeling 100% for weeks, then dipping into severe anxiety and depression. Each time I will make a full recovery then I will be 'triggered again. Things that trigger me seem to be stuff that really worries me. Like hearing people talk about deaths, mental health etc. I've never reacted like this in the past, and feel like I'm living in fear of the next panick attack.
I've been reading online and see this isn't unique to me. Does anyone have any experience with this? Have I unearthed some childhood trauma that I've been surpressing? Or is it all related to the bad trip? With it now coming up to 1 year since this happened I still feel like theres something unresolved, and not sure If I should be looking to find out what this is with my therapist, or just to move on and forget..
Thanks!
I'm currently working my way out of a crisis that happened to me last year. I decided to take shrooms for the first time with a friend, the trip started off fun with lots of cool visuals, then I remember within the space of a few seconds, I had this immediate feeling of dread wash over me, what followed was 4 hours of hell. I was panicking, crying and hoping it would stop. I can't actually recollect specifics in the trip, except that I couldnt escape it and was asking for reassurance off my friend. When the trip finally wore off I calmed down and went to bed. I noticed some minor anxiety before sleeping but nothing major.
I woke up the next morning and went to work, felt relieved to be feeling ok again. Within minutes of setting off I began having really bad stomach sensations going on, I then got to work and had a severe panic attack, followed by a feeling of dread the rest of the day. This process repeated itself for 3 weeks straight. At one point I felt like I didnt want to be alive anymore. This then happened repeatedly for about 2 months, some days i would wake up 100%, then something would worry me and i'd slip back into this depression.
I spent the next 6 months on anti anxiety medication, which definitely blocked out most the symptoms. I recently tapered off those and everything seems to have come back.
So what keeps happening is that I keep flipping between feeling 100% for weeks, then dipping into severe anxiety and depression. Each time I will make a full recovery then I will be 'triggered again. Things that trigger me seem to be stuff that really worries me. Like hearing people talk about deaths, mental health etc. I've never reacted like this in the past, and feel like I'm living in fear of the next panick attack.
I've been reading online and see this isn't unique to me. Does anyone have any experience with this? Have I unearthed some childhood trauma that I've been surpressing? Or is it all related to the bad trip? With it now coming up to 1 year since this happened I still feel like theres something unresolved, and not sure If I should be looking to find out what this is with my therapist, or just to move on and forget..
Thanks!