Very true my friend. It's a fine line we walk isn't it? We're not idiots
Most drugs are addictive by nature. We can't ask people to turn it off or turn it on. At the end of the day, a large part of what we do is based upon our subjective opinion of our interpretation of the rules, just like in any venture, except that we're dealing with addictive drugs. This makes things difficult, but we try our best. You are always welcome to share your thoughts of how the forums could be better run and we in fact appreciate it.
Now, Oxladron, first off, I'd like to say that Opioids are defined by their ability to mitigate essentially all pain, physical and emotional, dependent upon dosage. My point is, if you were truly freaking out, like an Anxiety Attack or something, then this
could very well be a clear indication that you were not very intoxicated. You should feel "very good", like nothing could possible spoil your good mood. It was most likely a combination of fear/anxiety and dosing with Methylphenidate (Ritalin).
I compliment you on your safe and responsible approach to this experience. This is Harm Reduction in action. If you would like my opinion, straight up, you should try taking 30mg Morphine orally, with no other substances. If this dosage alone kills you, Keif' takes responsibility. It's highly unlikely as we've already seen that your inherent (starting) tolerance to Opioids seems to be that of an average person. 30mg orally will provide you with the full experience. I would advise against insufflating (snorting) the drug. All it is is a waste of money and drugs with no benefit. In my experience it doesn't even provide a quicker onset. Morphine is definitely a little funky in this way, so don't group it in with everything else you snort.
You aren't going to die doing what you're doing. You have my seal of near-total confidence in this matter. All dosages are reasonable. If anything changes, let us know, but I'm trying to allay your worries. Also, you have done nothing wrong regarding what you've posted. I just like to give everyone the rundown like I gave you. True understanding of our philosophy and the difference between HR and irresponsible usage takes time to become accustomed to completely, hence we try not to give you guys too much trouble when you first start.
Hope this helps!