I have a question, or two, that I'm sure has been asked and have searched for, but perhaps giving the specifics someone who knows can give me an idea . There are two instances when I took meth that were different from the others (well, they were all different, but not to this extent). One was the second time I was snorting it, had a couple grams and was up for a few days. I know that being up can cause hallucinations, and have had those kinds before. But I have never had the kind that I had then. The oddity is in the details but Im going to cut most of them out to save space except to give you a general idea. Also, I havent had any experiences like this since, except after not taking it for a few months and then again but it wasnt anything like this, I just saw curtains flutter and smoke shadow people types (and knew it wasnt real). I have in the distant past tried shrooms, salvia and a couple other things (none ever got me high, the most a hallucinogen has ever done is give me the giggles). No family history of schizophrenia. And I was totally fine pretty much two days after the breaking point of it.
It would take paragraphs to describe, but over a period of three days there were a multitude of different species of creatures and beings in my house. And I was thinking logically and rationally about everything except for the fact that they were real (I knew exactly how weird it was, I knew to be careful of anything I was being told cause it probably wasnt reliable, but them being real wasnt a question because I hallucinated seeing someone else interact with one) anyway, these weren't shadow people, they werent things out the corner of my eye either; It was smell, taste, sight, sound.
And the longer it went on the distinctly more horrifying the whole thing got, at the breaking point of them showing me a vision of basically personalized hell I was no longer rational and more like hysterical, but after I decided that they were not good for me (I even started to realize the majority of them were not real, except the distinctly humanish one that interacted with someone who is real). Then that night I woke up and saw one of the ghostly things kind of hovering over me, got a distinctly possessive vibe and since I was losing spaces of time during those few days I got pissed and had enough. It was not that easy to get rid of them.
As soon as I made up my mind not to see them (or in this case, since I believed they were real still, despite it finally occurring to me they may not be) I just yelled at them all to get out and for the most part, except a few stragglers, they did. But I heard their voices (or heard voices) for a couple of days, one was bellowing, one was singing, one was coaxing and one was hissing. At the time it felt like they were trying to get back in and if I acknowledged them they would, so I ignored it and eventually it went away.
Still had some residual hallucinatory experiences (but these were always caused by an external source. For example a voice would actually be coming from the television in the next room or Id see a spider on the bottom of a bottle of water, but it was from the indented shape on the bottom of the bottle distorted. The original delusions werent from an external source they just were).
Ive talked to pretty much everyone Ive met while taking it, which I did in large part after that to talk to as many people as I could to figure out what in the hell happened. And none of them had ever experienced or heard of anything like that (to that extent). I assumed a couple days after the incident when my head cleared that it was the meth, but the more I talk to people the less likely that seems. Is there anything that meth can be laced with or that can be sold instead of meth that could cause that? The meth was tinged pinkish or brownish a tiny bit. I dont remember much else about it though because it was awhile ago.
The other experience is the third and last time started again (with major/more than a month long breaks in between). I was expecting the hallucinations because of what happened the first time, and again to a much lesser extent the time after (when I had done it for about a year then stopped for a month and started). This time it had been about two years taking (railing, every day but in regulated amounts) and about five or six months not. I took it and didn't get a euphoric feeling really, did get awake and energy to work through the night, and suppressed appetite, but no anxious / edgy /speediness at all, to the extent that it was noteably absent. Also began to get a fuzzy head along with a killer headache after a week (sleeping all but a couple nights) worse than usual. And I got depressed. I have never been depressed before, not like that, it was this black hole of hopeless apathy , lethargy, lacked motivation, even my self esteem (usually high) was falling fast. I couldnt feel anything, I couldn't even freak out I couldnt feel anything. Lowered my sex drive to nothing too. Aside from the wakefulness, it basically did the exact opposite of meth. Usually have extreme empathy; had extreme apathy. Usually have euphoria; had inability to feel euphoria or any emotion at all. Usually anxious or easily startled; no nerves at all. Usually motivated and confident; unmotivated and almost insecure. Any ideas what causes that or what it could be if its not meth?
