I don't know if this is the right thread - but i'm not sure where else to post this - and I feel far more comfortable posting this in SO than any other forum.
A lot of you know of my cat Falcor; i've gushed about him enough over the years on Bluelight. I wanted to let those of you who know of him, know that I had to have Fal put to sleep on Friday evening (8th April). He'd been unwell for the last month or so, not entirely himself - but he'd had dental surgery just prior, and at his 10 day check up the vet said he was good. About 2.5 weeks ago, he started vomiting - not the kind of vomits that cats do when they've eaten too much, but the kind that smells like bile and has a lot of liquid in it. We spoke to the vet who suggested trying him on a medicated food, but if he didn't get better within a week, to take him in.
Well, he got better for about 2 days but when we got home yesterday from work, he'd vomited violently again (on his bed, up the wall)... we immediately made an appointment with the vet and took him in. The vet took a look at him and weighed him. He'd gone from over 5kg to 3.82kg in a month. This was a shock to us; we knew he'd lost weight, but seeing him every day, well i guess it wasn't as obvious. When he was at the vet, his behaviour was completely different to his prior visits. He was dazed, limp, his eyes weren't focussed and he was *really* cuddly. The vet said that his first thought was the Fal had cancer, however couldn't diagnose him definitively without running a heap of tests- more pain, needles, vet stays.
Under normal circumstance, with a healthy cat, we'd not have thought twice - but Falcor, in his 12 years, had been in and out of the vets all of his life - a number of major surgeries, medication every day and blood tests every few months for the last year. The vet said that the kindest thing to do was to put him to sleep - if it was cancer, there is nothing they could do - his heart was already weak from the hyperthyroidism and he was already really sick - and leaving him to progress with the disease was simply out of the question. Regardless, he was either not eating and when he would, he'd throw up, so was effectively wasting away
I had to agree to put my little man to sleep - easily one of the hardest decisions i've ever had to make in my life. He'd been through so much, and was so sick, but to say the word YES was almost too much. The vet left my husband and I alone with him to think about it. I simply bawled and bawled, cuddling and kissing him. I made the decision to do it. The vet took him away, put a catheter in his little paw and brought him in. I told him how much I loved him, how much joy and companionship he'd given me over the years and how many people loved him. I sung him his silly songs and then the vet injected him. Within a few seconds, his heart stopped and he was gone.
Falcor has been my *constant* companion - with me every almost every day for 12 years. He has comforted me through the most tempestuous years of my adult life, moved house and interstate with me and I am one of the luckiest people in the world to have had the opportunity to share all of those years with one of the most extraordinary, unusual, dog-like cats i've ever met.
I always knew this time would come, but even i'm surprised at just how much i'm hurting - he's been such a huge part of my life for so long, i'm not sure how i'm going to go not having him in my life- my heart is breaking and i've been constantly on the verge of tears.
Rest in peace, my wonderful Falcor Allan W. I will never forget you