MDPV Megathread 5: Waiting for Jesus to show up

[Sadie]

YAY! I got it right


I figured that was correct from when I first tried it that was the advice I had been given. It didn't fail me. Twas rather perfect if I do say so myself.

 

[Dedbeet]

Fuck

Sleep deprivation & dopamine have finally done me in. About a half hour ago was convinced my color was ashen & I was dying, so I called emergency... and they said my coloring was fine, which put me into shock (not to mention they got to see this messy-ass apartment).

Seems I'm seeing everything in sepia and Photoshop filter tones. Shortly after they left suggesting I might be hallucinating I noticed that my perception is abnormal indeed, all the senses. That's an understatement, it is utterly fucked... either beginning stage dopamine psychosis or just sleep deprivation, God alone knows. Fuck.

P.S. should have noticed it earlier today when the squeaking of the computer chair I was sitting on was driving me insane... it shouldn't be loud or obvious enough to do that. Except I'm not hearing normally at all... that is an understatement in fact. There are sounds all over the place, but I can't locate any of them and I don't know what they are or where they're coming from.

Likely this is more severe sleep deprivation, as I still seem able to think mentally pretty well and am not thinking bizarre/paranoid thoughts or anything -- as well as being fully aware of the abnormality in perception. It's just obviously screwed up beyond description .

 

[DS_]

Sleep deprivation & dopamine have finally done me in. About a half hour ago was convinced my color was ashen & I was dying, so I called emergency... and they said my coloring was fine, which put me into shock (not to mention they got to see this messy-ass apartment).

Seems I'm seeing everything in sepia and Photoshop filter tones. Shortly after they left suggesting I might be hallucinating I noticed that my perception is abnormal indeed, all the senses. That's an understatement, it is utterly fucked... either beginning stage dopamine psychosis or just sleep deprivation, God alone knows. Fuck.

Shit mate. You'll be alright I'm sure. Do you have benzos on hand? They'll help.

 

[effie]

Certainly sounds like sleep deprivation, I'd probs be more worried if you were thinking you felt 100% normal at the mo! You really will be fine, try to have a chilled evening if at all poss and I'm sure after a good sleep your perception will be back to normal. Benzos sound like a good plan if you have any..

Take care of yourself, I'm sure you will be fine

 

[Dedbeet]

Shit mate. You'll be alright I'm sure. Do you have benzos on hand? They'll help.

Naah... would be nice. With perception this screwy I'm iffy about even leaving the house until I get a solid sleep... clearly one night after five days/nights binging wasn't nearly enough. This feels like heavy duty sleep deprivation, although I'm sure dopamine is a factor.

Other than freaking out about my coloring (which to my eyes seeing screwily was in fact grey with bright pink patches on my hand and feet that look like blood pooling ), it's cool... I'm aware things aren't normal.

 

[Dedbeet]

Shit mate. You'll be alright I'm sure. Do you have benzos on hand? They'll help.

Naah... would be nice. With perception this screwy I'm iffy about even leaving the house until I get a solid sleep... clearly one night after five days/nights binging wasn't nearly enough. This feels like heavy duty sleep deprivation, although I'm sure dopamine is a factor.

Other than freaking out about my coloring (which to my eyes seeing screwily was in fact grey with bright pink patches on my hand and feet that look like blood pooling ), it's cool... I'm aware things aren't normal.

P.S. I take that back about the dopamine, in the interest of honesty -- this is in fact probably dopamine psychosis. I recall an event from earlier this morning where PC programs were sneakily closing themselves "so I couldn't use them" and requiring extra clicks, which is a symptom I had with dopamine psychosis from desoxypipradrol.

So fuck it, I get to chat with the walls again, like with the run I did a couple years ago. They're shitty conversationalists, but oh well.

 

[Dedbeet]

Shit mate. You'll be alright I'm sure. Do you have benzos on hand? They'll help.

Naah... would be nice. With perception this screwy I'm iffy about even leaving the house until I get a solid sleep... clearly one night after five days/nights binging wasn't nearly enough. This feels like heavy duty sleep deprivation, although I'm sure dopamine is a factor.

Other than freaking out about my coloring (which to my eyes seeing screwily was in fact grey with bright pink patches on my hand and feet that look like blood pooling ), it's cool... I'm aware things aren't normal.

P.S. I take that back about the dopamine, in the interest of honesty -- this is in fact probably dopamine psychosis. I recall an event from earlier this morning where PC programs were sneakily closing themselves "so I couldn't use them" and requiring extra clicks, which is a symptom I had with dopamine psychosis from desoxypipradrol.

So fuck it, I get to chat with the walls again, like with the peevee run I did a couple years ago. They're shitty conversationalists, but oh well.

 

[Sadie]

Dedbeet: It's sleep dep. I know. I've only once been through it due to a dodgy batch of Peeve. ( Back in the day )

I've supported and still support someone who has gone through a massive psychosis through sleep dep in conjunction to a horrible anti-depressant.

It will pass with a bit of kip. If not, see your GP or go to A&E. I cannot stress enough that you should be as honest as possible if it comes to A&E time.

With every likelyhood you'll be right as rain once you've had a good kip. Trust me on this. If not, Feel free to PM me. We'll get ya feeling fine soon enough. I've held enough hands through this stage. Just take a deep breath, remember, its not real and if you really need to speak to someone PM me and I'll give you my Moby or My MSN.

You're never alone when you're in EADD. I assure you someone has been there and done that. Or at least cared for someone going through such things.

 

[Dedbeet]

Dedbeet: It's sleep dep. I know. I've only once been through it due to a dodgy batch of Peeve. ( Back in the day )

I'm in full blown dopamine psychosis and trying to keep a handle on the hallucinations (not to mention the constant twitchy, jerky, jumpy, jittery behavior) without having to call someone as the ordeal of all that shit is unbelievable and makes a bad situation worse. It's just fucked up and undignified is all for something so utterly fucking pointless as a drug.... as my hands turn from red, too yellow, to brighter red back to yellow again... fuck.

Wouldn't ever have known unless I looked at myself in the mirror this morning and I looked grey, ashen like I was gonna die, my toes were red and yellow... and it seems my dick was black, like it was gonna fall off. So I called paramedics and they said I looked just fine, which is when I realized it had gone over the edge. I remember exactly when it happened too, was messing around compulsively in Photoshop and doing peevee, and the computer chair squeaking started irritating the fuck out of me, 100 times worse than it should.... I practically got up and threw it through the wall -- the squeaking sound was evil and was trying to destroy me. That's obviously when the receptors were pushed over.

Sitting in the same chair now, and it's still squeaking the same way. If it really is, anyway. Absolutely nothing, zero, zilch is normal and I'm just assuming anything I see is a hallucination so I won't make the mistake of taking anything for reality.

 

[Acid4Blood]

I feel for ye man. I went through psychosis from peevee (for the 2nd time) just before christmas.
The hallucinations were horrific. Its crazy to think that your own mind can conjur up so many fucked-up images/people/scenarios.

Theres not alot you can do except ride it out & keep reminding yourself that almost everything you are seeing is a hallucintation.
I also had Seroquel & Zyprexa on hand during my last psychosis but they didn't stop it or even put me to sleep.
So just try to remain calm & try your best to ignore the horrible visions you are seeing. You should be over the worst of it in 7 or 8 hours.

& for gods sake PLEASE throw the rest of your peevee down the toilet ASAP.

 

[Dedbeet]

I feel for ye man. I went through psychosis from peevee (for the 2nd time) just before christmas.
The hallucinations were horrific. Its crazy to think that your own mind can conjur up so many fucked-up images/people/scenarios.

Theres not alot you can do except ride it out & keep reminding yourself that almost everything you are seeing is a hallucintation.
I also had Seroquel & Zyprexa on hand during my last psychosis but they didn't stop it or even put me to sleep.
So just try to remain calm & try your best to ignore the horrible visions you are seeing. You should be over the worst of it in 7 or 8 hours.

& for gods sake PLEASE throw the rest of your peevee down the toilet ASAP.

Yeah, that's what I'm doing (and that's how it seems... like there's a lot of weird shit going on all over the place and you're not sure WTF it is). It kinda helps to talk about it too... surprised my thinking mind seems to be working relatively OK while everything else has gone straight to hell. Probably cuz I tend to focus on the message when typing and forget everything else.

Can you believe I still haven't brought myself to toss the rest (less than 100mg probably)? Put it in a family cat's box where the ashes are kept, and have told myself I won't touch it. It's clear enough at this point it would just make the hallucinations worse, and probably extend the whole thing. I thought at first the problem was "coming down from peevee" and used more... which definitely made things worse.

Not having that many outright visions, fwiw (brief/passing hallucinations, yes),maybe be cuz I'm staying aware of the whole thing... perceptually, though, everything is constantly mutating and there is a horrible glare-y, glassy sheen to reality. Everything seems to be happening way too fast, like reality on hyperdrive. It's not that different than being way too tweaked on vaped PV, which I guess is kinda like what it is... overloaded dopamine receptors.

 

[FlippingTop]

I have had psycosis with this before and I feel for you!

Just think how cheap it is, and still legal to get yourself some more when/if you want it and give it the flush Just knowing it is gone, and you won't be experiencing this state for too long should calm you a bit too.

Good luck

 

[theotherside]

I promised myself that I wouldn't touch pv again after a terrible situation involving pv and alcohol caused her to fall and get internal bleeding/weeklong hospital stay. Sure enough boredom and opiate w/d set in......and of course I went overboard with it. I have no idea why but I have sore legs today?? Anyone else have this...maybe it was all the bending over to snort it but I'm in pretty good shape. Also I got really bad circulation problems with it this time.

 

[Dedbeet]

I have had psycosis with this before and I feel for you!

Just think how cheap it is, and still legal to get yourself some more when/if you want it and give it the flush

You do realize that having peevee lying around (even a small amount) and everyone telling you to flush it, makes you want to go use it, right? I mean, you could even say "what the hell, I'm already hallucinating, so what's a few more, right?"

And in the case of MDPV, you'd be utterly on-point: "What's a few more, right?"

Fwiw, It seems everything seems to end for me with a horror story since the 'golden tan' days ended, despite the fact I haven't run"with it often since '06 or so (maybe 6 or 7 times in full, when the whim hits). Yet every time I have, something badly fucked up seems to happen. The time or two before this, it was losing touch with reality after running for 96+ hours and wandering around for for a couple days lost in my own house for at least two days, talking to the walls. Sounds selfish perhaps, but I'd really like to see 'em ban it so I don't make any more stupid choices to buy it... me and peevee make far too good a couple, and if I had 5 or 10 grams lying around I'd probably end up committing suicide with it. Can work on that with just one gram, actually.

 

[Shambles]

Can totally relate just as many other can here, Dedbeet. Think every peev user has had at least a brush with psychosis whether solely chemical-based, sleep-deprived or (most likely) both. I know exactly what you mean about aural hallucinations in particular "Ghost Radio" was what I called it - sounds like everything is emitting radio shows that you can barely make out but can't ignore. Mine was always some vile local radio show that played nothing but cheesy adverts. Was kinda disappointed I couldn't hallucinate summat a bit more enjoyable really :D

To state the obvious and repeat the advice from others, scrap the rest of the peev one way or another. Flush it would be best but if you can't bring yourself to do that then the posting it to yourself idea isn't such a bad one either. We all know there is no such thing as self-control when you've been at it for days

Sleep should come pretty soon after you stop dosing - especially if you can get some food in you - and sleep is all you need. Well, that and to decide it's time to end this run. To be honest, I'm amazed at how lucid you are. Whenever I was totally gone with sleep-dep and dopa-meltdown I'd long since given up trying to post cos I knew I was making no sense. You are definitely still lucid enough to know what's going on which can only be a Good Thing. I'd recommend not pushing it any further cos that can change pretty rapidly as I'm sure you know...

Eat, sleep, or stay on and chat for a bit by all means. But it really would be a good move to draw the curtains on this particular run and marvel at the fact you got this far in and retained this much functioning faculties. Just think of that scrummy 24 hours of kip coming your way soon - really is good for what ails ya

 

[Dedbeet]

P.S sorry for the negativity, if anyone is picking up this vibe from me. I'm tired of fighting with the bitch, and still don't want to flush her. Guess until this decision is made, the consequences are mine, dontcha know.

Should I ever buy peevee again, I'll never buy a full gram...too much for a single party unless one is heavily tolerant, thus making for trouble. Some can handle having more around than could be used at once, some can't... it seems the author is one who can't. And knows it, buys it, overdoes things (although never a full gram) and gets into trouble with it.

What's going on now is not as bad as wandering around the house in a mental dream-state, "waking up" every few hours and realizing what's happening, then dropping back into it for another few hours. That sucked, as in the dream I was a long-term/unconscious patient in a mental hospital waiting to be wakened by the right person. Guess there was an aspect that knew what was going on, but figuring out no one was likely to drop by the house soon was too complicated.

 

[FlippingTop]

I don't know where these fabled people are that can handle their PV use!

I remember once getting into such a dream like state that if I started at the pattern covered walls and decided to listen to the radio for a bit I would start running about outside playing with a dog. Or start flying around on my bed over a lake, very Very wierd... I was in that Zen like state the whole time.

 

[the outsider]

However, the palms of my hands are bright red (almost as in fire engine) and swollen and I have no clue why...

I thought this was normal on stimulants? It's normal for me anyway. I don't know why it happens either - dehydration? I don't have any better guesses.

 

[FlippingTop]

How's it going Dedbeet? I am sure you are gonna be fine, try not to worry yourself. Me and my mates would go some awfully strange colours after taking double figures of pip pills, mainly BZP + mcPP. Orange faces and red/white hands usually...

 

[Sadie]

I was wondering the same myself FT, Hope you're doing okay Dedbeet.

Remember, You can PM any of us if you're feeling off but don't wanna post on the board.

You're not the only one to go through this. Hope you're feeling okay man.

I'm thinking bout cha.