MDMA therapy?

[Kl519]

I think self help is much more useful than an informed stranger who wants to help you for money, even though the latter has its place. Maybe I'm in the minority, since it worked out decently for me. But if a person doesn't accept help, or even try to do something different and help him/herself and wants to stay as they are, the situation becomes impossible to change (duh). I'm not saying that's you, but make sure that's not you if you really want to help yourself.

I don't think you need methods in the physical world, but inside your inner world. You have to have the right attitude, and that starts with controlling your own thinking. In so many ways, your thoughts are tied to your mental state. Being pessimistic too often can also facilitate mental issues as well.

It's weird though. You cited your own lack of progress even with a huge amount of attempted assistance. As well as with that much amount of time...but you seem to know what's stopping you, and you even mention opening up, which is in itself an intangible/non-physical change.
Something is amiss, because if all of the above is true then all you need is to take a page out of Nike.

 

[Casual.dream]

I think self help is much more useful than an informed stranger who wants to help you for money, even though the latter has its place. Maybe I'm in the minority, since it worked out decently for me. But if a person doesn't accept help, or even try to do something different and help him/herself and wants to stay as they are, the situation becomes impossible to change (duh). I'm not saying that's you, but make sure that's not you if you really want to help yourself.

I don't think you need methods in the physical world, but inside your inner world. You have to have the right attitude, and that starts with controlling your own thinking. In so many ways, your thoughts are tied to your mental state. Being pessimistic too often can also facilitate mental issues as well.

It's weird though. You cited your own lack of progress even with a huge amount of attempted assistance. As well as with that much amount of time...but you seem to know what's stopping you, and you even mention opening up, which is in itself an intangible/non-physical change.
Something is amiss, because if all of the above is true then all you need is to take a page out of Nike.

Thanks for your reply. A page out of Nike...Just do what though?

Im not sure why im still stuck really, I just seem to be in a cycle of nervous breakdowns every couple of weeks and am just stuck in all the physical symptoms I get, which are mainly to do with my brain. The nervous breakdowns are usually caused by the brain symptoms of me feeling confused, disorientated, dissociated etc and this therefore brings on a lot of anxiety as I feel I cant function and I worry about what is going on at it is a very scary experience. Its not so much that I wont open up because I will if there is something there emotionally but often there isn't, a lot of the things that I would guess are affecting me are buried down very deep and I am dissociated from the traumatic memories or emotions so just opening up isn't that simple as everything seems to be shoved down in my subconscious out of my awareness and this may well be why i am consumed with all these symptoms. This is one of the main reasons of thinking about using drugs as im hoping it may give me some access to these buried issues and help me see things for what they really are. You could say it feels like I have more of a neurological disorder rather than PTSD or anxiety at times but I have had many tests and they have all come back as normal so I just have to persue the more emotional route and I do feel that that is the underlying cause anyway.

On the comment about a solo session, no I haven't tried this but I may well do as I don't think im going to be able to find an MDMA therapist or trial in the UK at the moment.

 

[Kl519]

Hmm, obviously nobody's life is gonna go as smoothly as they want it to, so I feel like this doesn't really require overthinking. I'm not an exception, never thought I was so I probably sounded pretty pissed off, and even though I was, it's whatever now.

That simple quote is meant to show that there's too much thinking involved, and we are all prone to it, but you don't want it to get to a point where you're holding yourself back because of it. If isn't obvious by now, I know what it's like to have a negative view of everything 24/7, so what I'm saying is that there needs to be a limit on how much 'research' and 'preparation' one does with respect to what they're actually doing about it, and not just talking about it. Complaining doesn't reach anyone but an empathetic heart, and good luck finding that these days.

Anyways, idk what else to say anymore either, so let's just find our way.

 

[Casual.dream]

Hmm, obviously nobody's life is gonna go as smoothly as they want it to, so I feel like this doesn't really require overthinking. I'm not an exception, never thought I was so I probably sounded pretty pissed off, and even though I was, it's whatever now.

That simple quote is meant to show that there's too much thinking involved, and we are all prone to it, but you don't want it to get to a point where you're holding yourself back because of it. If isn't obvious by now, I know what it's like to have a negative view of everything 24/7, so what I'm saying is that there needs to be a limit on how much 'research' and 'preparation' one does with respect to what they're actually doing about it, and not just talking about it. Complaining doesn't reach anyone but an empathetic heart, and good luck finding that these days.

Anyways, idk what else to say anymore either, so let's just find our way.

I don't fully understand what your getting at but I do get where your coming from. I agree always researching and preparing for something without actually doing anything isn't going to get anyone anywhere. If your saying just do it in terms of getting over PTSD or anxiety or any mental health issues than if it were that simple than there wouldn't be so many people stuck with these things. I agree sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and force yourself to do things and fake it until you make it and that can help sometimes to a certain extent.

Sorry im just not completely clear on exactly what your getting at but if its just do it in terms of the MDMA then fair enough, I hadn't come on here to complain or find an empathetic heart as you put it I was simply trying to find some sort of underground therapist or a group of like minded people to do the drug with rather than just doing it on my own as I may be wrong but I cant really see myself having any great insights or being able to work on stuff without having someone to talk to during the process.

I do 100% agree that there is to much thinking involved and I myself definitely need to move past that and stop analysing so much and as you say to the point where its holding someone back, im well past that point, its been holding me back or in fact making me worse for years. Its a struggle to know what to do next though. Thanks for your reply again.

 

[Kl519]

You didn't have to take that quote literally. I think I fully explained what I meant already. -_-

Of course, imo there's no way any one of us know better than we do about our own situations. You don't know exactly what's going on with other people's lives no matter how much a person will freely talk about it, and an obvious example is myself. And really there's nothing I can say to help you until after we sit and have an honest discussion, and even then it may not be clear as to what exactly is troubling that person in the deepest sense.

I feel like somewhere in people's translation of me gets lost in the fact that I struggled and felt pain just as much as at least the average person. The positivity and almost stubborn happiness came after many years of grueling lessons learned the hard way, and hundreds of instances where I felt like what's-the-point-of-doing-good anymore. Anyone that knows me in person knows this already, so I take comfort in the fact that 99% of any criticism can be rightfully washed away just as easily it came onto me. And I've done some very deep, meaningful gestures for people, yet I have gotten a butt load of disrespect and negativity and blah blah, but its extremely rare if I ever fly off the handle, even though I've been dealing with these kinds of shitty events practically my entire life. I was actually surprised at my own emotional response, but like I said, I'm not perfect.

Despite all of this, my optimism on the whole isn't deterred in the slightest, and in this sense I feel that I've gained some power, or some right, to act how I please as long as any lines aren't crossed and I'm keeping the general well being intact of those around me. I'm not some Saint or a well of unending patience, in the end I'm really not much different than you.

 

[Casual.dream]

You didn't have to take that quote literally. I think I fully explained what I meant already. -_-

Of course, imo there's no way any one of us know better than we do about our own situations. You don't know exactly what's going on with other people's lives no matter how much a person will freely talk about it, and an obvious example is myself. And really there's nothing I can say to help you until after we sit and have an honest discussion, and even then it may not be clear as to what exactly is troubling that person in the deepest sense.

I feel like somewhere in people's translation of me gets lost in the fact that I struggled and felt pain just as much as at least the average person. The positivity and almost stubborn happiness came after many years of grueling lessons learned the hard way, and hundreds of instances where I felt like what's-the-point-of-doing-good anymore. Anyone that knows me in person knows this already, so I take comfort in the fact that 99% of any criticism can be rightfully washed away just as easily it came onto me. And I've done some very deep, meaningful gestures for people, yet I have gotten a butt load of disrespect and negativity and blah blah, but its extremely rare if I ever fly off the handle, even though I've been dealing with these kinds of shitty events practically my entire life. I was actually surprised at my own emotional response, but like I said, I'm not perfect.

Despite all of this, my optimism on the whole isn't deterred in the slightest, and in this sense I feel that I've gained some power, or some right, to act how I please as long as any lines aren't crossed and I'm keeping the general well being intact of those around me. I'm not some Saint or a well of unending patience, in the end I'm really not much different than you.

Thanks for taking the time to reply again, sorry if I came across as rude or annoyed before, I wasn't at all, I was just trying to work out what you were getting at. Im glad to hear you have managed to work on some of your issues and come to a greater understanding of how to deal with them. I hope I can mange to do that over time.

It may just be because my brain is fried from all the stress and from the symptoms ive mentioned at various times in this thread but you have completely lost me here. You seem to have gone off on some random tangent about yourself which is fair enough as I can see you have had issues too but I don't know why you have come out with a lot of that stuff as it doesn't seem that relevant and knowone asked. Again im not having a dig, this conversation and what you have said just seems a little random and doesn't make much sense to me. Its good to know that someone like yourself has managed to overcome such crap though and get into a somewhat better state of mind from what it sounds like, so thank you.

 

[Kl519]

Thanks for taking the time to reply again, sorry if I came across as rude or annoyed before, I wasn't at all, I was just trying to work out what you were getting at. Im glad to hear you have managed to work on some of your issues and come to a greater understanding of how to deal with them. I hope I can mange to do that over time.

It may just be because my brain is fried from all the stress and from the symptoms ive mentioned at various times in this thread but you have completely lost me here. You seem to have gone off on some random tangent about yourself which is fair enough as I can see you have had issues too but I don't know why you have come out with a lot of that stuff as it doesn't seem that relevant and knowone asked. Again im not having a dig, this conversation and what you have said just seems a little random and doesn't make much sense to me. Its good to know that someone like yourself has managed to overcome such crap though and get into a somewhat better state of mind from what it sounds like, so thank you.

Yes, I have a knack for going on tangents, so excuse me for that. It's not one for those that know me though, and I think I always address the main point while I'm at it.

I have had strange issues throughout my life that I can't really relate to anyone else, and you would think I would become an angry, hateful person after it all. I've been to group meetings way back in the day, and most of my peers there would basically turn out that way (at least at the time, I don't know about now). I mean, it's not as terrible as the things I've seen and heard from others, yet it's...unique in a bad way. Maybe it's the way I explain it, but many times people would be baffled.

But, for whatever reason, I also have a knack for turning things around and becoming even more positive than before. I don't really understand it either, since no one taught me that 'positivity is the way,' it kind of just happened. I simply tried following what I think is the right path, no matter how difficult it was, and it has always worked for me. Part of it is because I used to ignore this in the past, and I would always come out on the losing side this way. So...I just went to the other side instead.

I should mention that people run into all sorts of problems without ever touching drugs at all, since there's just so much that can go wrong. Like you say, stress is one, and managing it is important for everyone. If I wasn't always positive and thinking about how to fix things, I probably would've succumbed to all the major problems I've ran into and gave up. I feel like some people do this, and I try to share my story in the hopes that people realize they can overcome their own problems if it's in their power to do so. All it took for me was to put things into motion, instead of just thinking and talking about it, because I used to be like that too. I've mentioned it before, but it took me many years to change, and the only thing I didn't do was give up.

But really, I think mostly everyone does this easily as they get older. We all have to. We can't sit on our asses all day...we gotta get things done! And your health should be one of those top priorities in which you treat it that way. Hopefully you're doing the same.

 

[Broseph Smith]

I think self help is much more useful than an informed stranger who wants to help you for money, even though the latter has its place. Maybe I'm in the minority, since it worked out decently for me. But if a person doesn't accept help, or even try to do something different and help him/herself and wants to stay as they are, the situation becomes impossible to change (duh). I'm not saying that's you, but make sure that's not you if you really want to help yourself.

I don't think you need methods in the physical world, but inside your inner world. You have to have the right attitude, and that starts with controlling your own thinking. In so many ways, your thoughts are tied to your mental state. Being pessimistic too often can also facilitate mental issues as well.

It's weird though. You cited your own lack of progress even with a huge amount of attempted assistance. As well as with that much amount of time...but you seem to know what's stopping you, and you even mention opening up, which is in itself an intangible/non-physical change.
Something is amiss, because if all of the above is true then all you need is to take a page out of Nike.

Nice subjective response. What worked for you, a single person, you want to apply to a stranger you've read a few paragraphs about.

Isn't discussion about MDMA assisted therapy sourcing according to your interpretation of the rules?

This person is also looking for help, like others did in threads you closed, but you are so eager to share your criticism and single case study (of yourself no less) that you keep this thread open and feel your comments are productive in the realm of harm reduction?

Bravo.

 

[Kl519]

Congrats, you managed to sound civil outside of your PM. You're right, there's no reason to keep this open either. The OP doesn't seem to need it open either, and he can PM me at any time if he's concerned with this.