I'm so done with this ltc. This has to be damage. I have symptoms of ptsd ocd severe social anxiety which never happened before. I'm sorry to say this I wish I was a meth head I bet I would if recovered already. They should rank this fucking drug as most dangerous as in terms or damage. Hero in and all other hard shit might kill you when you overdose but you can largely recover from them. I fully recovered from a opiate addiction before i tried mdmaand got fucked for 26 months. I have what I think is hppd at night with weird lighting weird anxiety around people. Extremely non functional. Driving at night is like I'm in another world. I'm not sure what i should do pm me guys who have recovered long term because I'm fully gone.
Like my mother always says, "where there's life, there's hope".
Shit though man, I feel for you. 26 months is a godawfully long period of time to have to suffer with this shit.
Do you think the previous opiate addiction may have played a role in your current difficulties? Perhaps you've put your brain through a bit too much?
That being said, do some research. The brain is REMARKABLY plastic. It changes all the time. It's a complex organ, and if damaged or altered in some way, takes time to recover. Arguably longer than damage to other parts of the body, due to its more complex nature.
Think about it this way.
They say it takes around 4 years to master a new skill, with continuous dedication. I'm not sure if there's science to back this up, but it sounds about right to me.
That means it takes 4 years to physically mould you brain into something you're aiming for. Because in order to acquire a new skill, you need to basically change your brain. That's what learning is, forming new connections and making use of plasticity.
That's why it's harder to learn things the older you get. Because the brain begins to lose its plasticity.
There's a famous study somewhere that looked at the hippocampus (memory part) of the brains of taxi drivers in London (who have to pass an extensive geography test in order to be licensed). It found that these taxi drivers brains were observably different to non-taxi drivers!
Basically what I'm saying, is that in order for us to rewire our brains away from this anxiety, away from these palpitations and HPPD, it's going to take time and considerable concerted effort.
But science has demonstrated time and time again that it is possible.
So if you are directing your efforts towards recovery, and are doing the right things, recovery is inevitable.
But depending on a huge variety of factors, it's going to take time!
A little update on myself: my blood test came back clear. I've yet to look at the results myself, or discuss them with the doctor, but basic blood count, thyroid function, and testoesterone were judged to be normal. I'm not fully convinced though that there's nothing to be found here. But I'm not a doctor and I emphasised to the doctor that I'm not just an anxiety-driven hyperchondriatic mess, but have rationale concerns about a pulse issue and poor physical reaction to stress.
Though maybe that's all it is! Stress. Plain and simple.
For those not aware, my primary symptom now is very prominent pulse throughout my body, most of the time. But not all the time
Anxiety and depression have subsided now to maybe an hour a day max, sometimes more, sometimes less.
My libido is weird but that could just be because I was on NoFap. Doing some reading I've found that NoFap can fuck with the libidos of normal guys who DONT have the stress of an LTC to contend with.
But yeah, I'm kind of a success story atm. I am functioning almost perfectly well, this heart thing doesn't really bother me because I know there's nothing physical wrong. The depression/anxiety is only in brief little waves now, compared to the blanket it was before. It's still shit, but far more manageable. I'm mentally fairly sharp, and I'm sleeping better.
PM me anyone who's struggling and I'll see if I can help. I'm actually training to be a mental health professional so I could use the experience! Certain things have helped me, I can't list the exact resources atm cause I'm on my phone, but they are:
1) CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). Important. Really took the edge off of anxiety in the early days.
2) exercise. Power yoga in particular I've found really cool, something I've began recently.
3) sleep. Lots of it. Lack of sleep will fuck you up guys. If you're really suffering take a week off work/school, and sleep for like 4 days straight if it helps.
4) socialising. In the beginning this didnt really help, as it was hard to get out of my head. Now however it's really helpful. It's hard to be anxious or depressed when you're in a deep, meaningful conversation with someone.
5) coffee. This ones personal to me I guess. I see that guy up above with the sensitivity to stimulants, they might want to avoid this one. Personally though I found it great to get me out of a rut, gets me happy and excited a bit. Again, not one for those prone to panic attacks from caffeine. Still, I've found coffee has actually REVERSED sensations of anxiey personally.
Take care guys! Again PM me, I'm happy to help.
