Take a look at this article. Maybe its something you want to get tested for given the heavy use?
http://jeffreydachmd.com/clomid-for-men-with-low-testosterone/
It talks about Ecstasy/hypothalmic dysfunction.
Interesting article. I'm going for blood tests on Wednesday to see what comes up. If there's anything at all physically wrong with me, and this isn't just some overblown neurosis driven fuck-up, hormone tests will be the one. I'm kinda hoping something gets noticed. Because that will account for a lot.
Jayy, I share some of your symptoms. In recent weeks my sharpness has returned, so don't worry too much about it. In fact, I'd say I'm MORE socially switched on now then what I was on the past. Weeks of over-analysing of everything and anything as a result of this mixed depression/anxiety has really given me the tools to understand whats going on around me in a weird sense. As my mood has improved, I've gained more of a sense of "fuck it". There have been times recently where I have been the centre of the party, whereas before, although I was by no means a social retard, I was never dominant in that respect.
The annoying thing? Libido is still pretty flat. It's not gone entirely,and it ebbs and flows, just like literally every other single one of my symptoms, but it's so low as to be of pretty much no use most of the time. Which is annoying. Girls are loving all my confidence. The ironic thing is that I kind of don't care at the minute. There is a huge funny side to this I think, "sorry, you're beautiful, but I'd rather go home and play europa universalis IV". LOL. At least I can see it as such now. A few weeks ago it was driving me to the edge of despair and suicide. Now, I kind of don't care. I'm confident it will resolve itself. I REFUSE to believe otherwise.
I will post the results of my blood test here, whether they come up with anything or not. Hopefully that will get people to follow suit if it shows to be a good route to go down.
Jayy, as for advice to speeding your recovery, all I can really say is exercise, get a good sleeping pattern, improve your diet, drink less, and for fucks sake, DON'T TAKE ANY MORE DRUGS. I made the mistake of going in hard a few more times AFTER my LTC started, from attributing my symptoms to other factors. I know for a fact, that if I'd remained clean from when this first started in August, I'd be much better if not completely cured now. Instead, I'm currently on 2 and a half months clean instead of 6 months. Ain't no MDMA entering my system for a fucking long time, if ever, from now. If I end up as an old man before my time, drinking a few pints before I'm home to bed at 1am, so what. At least I wont be a burnt out crusty old raver at 40 like half of my social circle will be.
At this rate, I'm going to say summer is the earliest I will regain my functionality in every sense, including sexual. And as for the weird dark episodes of existential despair and terror, maybe the end of the year. And maybe I'll have them forever. I've always been prone to the dark side, long before I ever sniffed a line.
Still, I don't give a fuck if sometimes I lay awake at night feeling like I'm having conversations with the devil. As long as I can work, think, socialise, have a hot wife and see to her needs, and not be retarded, I don't really care.
