MDMA helped my anxiety and depression.

[Ofpas]

Hi! I'm writing this a little out of curiosity.

I took E when I was 14-15 like 3 times and then didn't touch until last year (when I was 26), took it 3 times, then swapped to pure MDMA. I've been depressed since I was a kid and never really experienced happiness. Several suicide attempts before I was 20. Great deal of self hate. 2 1/2 year ago I was diagnosed with BPD, GAD, Bulimia, also get treated for BDD but don't have the diagnose. I started a DBT treatment, for yous that don't know you go to group therapy once a week and individual 1 a week, heavy, hard but the best thing that could ever happen to me. I've always been against (personally) medicine, and only eaten anti depressant for like 6 months way before I started the treatment and I hated the feeling of it. I don't have the diagnose BDP, depression and bulimia anymore.

Ive smoked weed regularly for 3 years now 5-10 grams a month(mostly 5 now days). And it absolutely have helped me so much, it never let me escape my feelings and so, but I still never experienced happiness that lasted more than just for the moment. Then last year when I took E for the first time again in 12 years I experienced happiness (1 pill). And for some reason, after I got to feel it (even of course it was much stronger than you would feel in a normal day to day life) it have changed so much for me. I think more positive, I know when to stop my downward spirals and I really feel I know what to work towards. My anxiety is still there, but it is so much less than before, I work my ass of to always trying becoming "the best version of myself". Of course it's a lot of factors that play in but I feel this of contributed a lot

I use MDMA 1-3 months gaps in between, 200 mg dose, no redose. (Going to cut down now to bigger gaps in between) I'm vegan, training 3-5 times a week, walk my dog 4-5 times a day, when drinking I never drink so I get drunk and I seldom touch alcohol anymore. The only thing I'm concerned with is my memory. I don't know if it's the MDMA, weed or if it is my stress, maybe a mix.

I understand the side effects and I feel that I am very careful and responsible. I'm just very curious how this have helped me so much psychological and hope I could get some of your stories if you have any?

 

[BlueBull]

Well if your MDMA is pure (have you tested it?) and you stick to some basic rules, the afterglow will indeed put you in a better headspace for a while. This can help facilitate introspection and combined with the temporary relief from the usual depression and anxiety this can have lasting effects. Sometimes a little bit of temporary mental breathing room can make a huge difference. It isn't directly the MDMA that causes this though, that only lasts for a short while, it's your own mind. This is an important distinction between MDMA and true anti-depressants, anti-depressants can directly provide long-term relief from depression, MDMA can't, it can only help facilitate it, which can be long-term, but that's your own mind. That's why you shouldn't use MDMA as an anti-depressant. Also because if you get a hangover instead of an afterglow, because you are overdoing it, that can make the depression and anxiety worse. But I get the feeling you're a sensible user, so that will probably not be a problem. Welcome to the forum!

Don't have any stories to share I'm afraid

*edit*
Oh, about the weed, watch out with this. When not overdone it can help relief tension and relax you, yes. But if you smoke or eat too much too often, it will start causing anxiety. Or at least it is very much capable of doing this, I speak from experience

 

[Claudia Sass]

First, congratulations on all your Sucess! It's so nice to hear a positive story, so Thankyou for sharing ^.^

You have a bucketload of different outliers that could explain your mind being more at ease. I'm not gonna bother to tackle those, I will leave others to do that

MDMA helps redefine your mind to become more empathetic, and I personally find it gives me more confidence (makes me give less shits?) to say what's on my mind, without readjusting my words to be more.. "Politically correct". This helps get my point across. A lot.

I journal a lot of thoughts when rolling, as the reflection I get when reading them the next day can be simply astounding. I get to read my thoughts in a new and refreshing light, and find I have feelings/thoughts/opinions that I never even knew I had to begin with. It's amazing self-therapy.

Friends of mine have been known to use it for this purpose alone. Self-therapy, couples therapy or just simply debriefing on life with close friends can make the world of difference when you're fighting unknown battles in your mind.

There are negatives to this, of coarse. Rolling when anxious or sad has made for a depressing roll and awful comedown for a friend or 3.

Those that see counsellors/therapists have felt more timid about sharing in The Room when sober, due to their (increasing) need for that comforting "MDMA safety blanket". Dependence is so often disguised as progress, it's easy to slip into bad habits when it comes to drugs that make you feel so good.

I'm glad to hear of you cutting it down. 200mg is probably (maybe?) unnecessarily high for one hit, and 3 months seems to be the most popular "minimum wait time" between sucessful rolls.

I will let someone more educated on marijuana to share some facts on that, as I don't have enough experience in that field to share my thoughts on it

Once again, well done on your journey to sucess!

Hugs,

Xoxo

 

[turnupboss]

Mdma deleted anxiety from my mind. But i am prone to occasional episodes of depression, because i have had phases of mdma abuse over the years. I have more self control nowadays, but still go a little overboard sometimes.