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LSD to figure out who you are?

angryteabag

angryteabag

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 12, 2010
Messages
96
I have a question.
Recently ive been doing this personality building thing and it really opened my eyes to something that has been sort of not so apparent in my life up till now.

Ive always been rather quiet and shy and have been working on a way to break out of my shell. now i have no fear in talking to people ANYONE randomly anywhere but i feel that i lack personality or substance. like im one of those people you would forget because theres just nothing to me. My interests are ill defined even to myself and i find myself just in general less feeling then i was before, all of my emotions are dulled.

A friend of mine is a lot more shy then I am yet people like him more because he is witty, when you have a conversation with him you feel like saying "hes a really great guy"

Im not asking this because i want to be liked by other people, I just dont feel i can live passing the days by with no personal fulfillment. without anything that i genuinely enjoy. if that makes sense.

I did have a period of time when i habitually smoke cannabis and life was a lot nicer then haha. I used to go for walks just for the hell of it.

I remember taking a psychedelic once before and it brought me back to when i was teased as a kid growing up and it showed me how i seek approval from people by acting victimised. but at that point i was just overwhelmed and couldnt take it got taken home.


Do you think LSD/magic mushrooms/DMT/salvia/anything would help define myself to myself?
 
or would you recommend me not take it, could i be mentally unstable? or something?
 
I am extremly shy. its hard to hold a conversation, and the words dont ever come to me.
But dont look into drugs to "define" yourself. I mean you can use them to find out who you are, to build more confidence.. this has worked for me. Shrooms, DXM especially and MDMA.

an 8th of shrooms chilling all day just thinking about life will answer a lot of questions for you.

you find out who you are when you do drugs, but you find yourself when you dont do drugs.
use them as a tool to find out who you

damn seriously this sounds just like my story.
embark on your mind expanding journey.
have fun :)
 
angryteabag said:
Ive always been rather quiet and shy and have been working on a way to break out of my shell. now i have no fear in talking to people ANYONE randomly anywhere but i feel that i lack personality or substance. like im one of those people you would forget because theres just nothing to me. My interests are ill defined even to myself and i find myself just in general less feeling then i was before, all of my emotions are dulled.

...

Im not asking this because i want to be liked by other people, I just dont feel i can live passing the days by with no personal fulfillment. without anything that i genuinely enjoy. if that makes sense.
Click to expand...

This is not a problem that you can solve with any drug, even psychedelics. It sounds like you're looking for some meaning or purpose for yourself. You will probably catalyse a realisation with a breakthrough experience, but it will most likely simply reinforce what you already know: that you are unhappy with your current situation.

I would say your best bet is to find something and do it - integrate an activity into your personality. Is there anything that you've always wondered if you could do? Have a serious look at how you would go about starting it. If it's music, start looking at instruments. Art? Get yourself some supplies. You don't need to commit to anything yet, but just "try on" the mindset of "I'm going to learn the piano" (etc) for a few days, and see how you feel.

Otherwise, you could start a regular exercise regime (if you don't already) - the endorphins really kill existential angst :) - or start a hobby project.

The drugs will show you where you are, but only you can determine where you will go.
 
Mr angry tea bag .
I was like you when i was younger and my escape was taking trips lsd whatever you monkeys call it but i took them for years and everyone new about it.

Being a shy guy and with no outlook on anything like me plus taking trips makes things bad.
Eventually everyone knows your a acid head.
You go out and your the freak on parade.
Even though not addictive i believe it leads to addictive drugs.
In moderation and if you have close friends then by all means party like britney spears when she shaved her head and went cookoo.
I prefer to take that sort of stuff alone especially mushrooms.

but hey i am not your mother or guardian pop as much as you want but remember in a few years time the whole community you live in will know.

I still sleep with the light on ,no just joking .
remember i love you because i am gay.to many pills, and anyone who would like to comment on mdma and turning gay bring it on brother with a butter knife and a wooden spoon.
PEACE
 
I can relate to this thread more than I'd like to admit.

It's the wrong approach, my life improved dramatically when I realized that it's about being yourself and less is more. Just because in our younger years, MDMA turned you into the most confident and witty lion in the Jungle, it doesn't mean drugs are cause, you're the cause, the drugs trick you being confident enough to be yourself. "Whatever", you may say, "Still has the desired effect", but for me certainly, the magic went and I was just getting high, whats worse is my day to day sober confidence was almost non existant.

I was never a drug addict (although I was a LITTLE fond of cocaine for a while) but I realized that I was letting my drug usage define who I was.

This is where it gets odd. A while ago I took a very small dose of 2C-E (LSD would also work), around 3-5mg orally. I found that it allowed me to step outside of myself and see my situation as an impartial third party. Essentially it allowed me to get INSTANT perspective on whatever was bothering me.

Nowdays, I find I use 2C-E genuinly therapeutically, for example I won't go into details but I got knocked back by a girl I rather liked, anyway I was a tad upset, we've all been there, feelin a bit pissed off, a bit low, trying to work out what you did wrong or whatever. You're not addressing the issue because of your emotional investment in the situation and all of your wants and desires cloud your vision, so to speak. Normally something like this would be a real knock to my confidence, and I'd feel a bit shit for like a week and I'd move on, but it's a real negative outcome.

On this ocasion, I was lying on my bed watching a film or something and I decided to take a ~5mg dose of 2C-E, this is sub-visuals level remember, so it's a much subtler effect. A hour passes and my mind turns back to Apryl, now that I'm feeling the 2C-E I was able to subjectivly look at the situation, to cast my emotions to one side and square it in my head. The sense of perspective was profound. I'm not going to go into how I turned the situation into a win, but it was a direct result of being able to look at the problem almost as if from a 3rd party.

This turned into a rant (Methylone!), but I think the point I'm trying to make is no, psychedelics shouldn't define who you are, but they're a valuable tool to help you manipulate who and what you are. It's almost like a shrink only much faster and you're in control. Life is about introspection and subsequent self improvement.

Urgh, too high to express myself, but we all know the how powerful psychedelics can be, and the effects depend entirly on the user. This approach may not work for you guys, but by God it works for me. Again, without getting too verbose this realization was a turning point for me, I've not had LSD/2C-E in maybe 4-5 months, but I would do if I needed to do a bit of soulsearching.

I hope this wasn't too incoherant ;) I will say one more thing and it's that I'm the LEAST hippie homopathic sort of person you'd could imagine, I personally love proving snake oil wrong. This is a genuinly useful approach that has given me the confidence to that I used to take MDMA/Others, in increasing quantities, to achieve.

[EDIT]
Drugs aren't an end in themselves, they're a means to an end. Less is more.
 
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I can't really relate in terms of ill defined interests or dulled emotions, though I feel I might bore some people with my views on drug law and strong belief in the positive spiritual understands that I believe can come from high dose psychedelic experiences (though, I don't think I really want to hang out with those people anyway when it comes down to it). Ultimately I think a trip can take you either way; I've had trips that have made me feel more confident with myself and better defined, but I've also experienced trips that have seemed to make me less confident and poorly defined in my beliefs/interests. There's a lot of subjectivity to trips and you'll never really know which way you're going to move until it's over. Good luck in your quest for self discovery! :D
 
lujoyalin said:
Mr angry tea bag .
I was like you when i was younger and my escape was taking trips lsd whatever you monkeys call it but i took them for years and everyone new about it.

Being a shy guy and with no outlook on anything like me plus taking trips makes things bad.
Eventually everyone knows your a acid head.
You go out and your the freak on parade.
Even though not addictive i believe it leads to addictive drugs.
In moderation and if you have close friends then by all means party like britney spears when she shaved her head and went cookoo.
I prefer to take that sort of stuff alone especially mushrooms.

but hey i am not your mother or guardian pop as much as you want but remember in a few years time the whole community you live in will know.

I still sleep with the light on ,no just joking .
remember i love you because i am gay.to many pills, and anyone who would like to comment on mdma and turning gay bring it on brother with a butter knife and a wooden spoon.
PEACE
Click to expand...

MDMA can turn you gay??




:|

but really, to the OP:

I've always been a big believer in that even though a lot of people looking for answers will turn to psychedelics, most of the time they just bring about more questions. the upside to this though, is that you can start to notice that some things you were worrying about before don't matter as much. my own personal experiences in the matter definitely made me de-prioritize trivial things I had been worrying about beforehand.

sometimes this can be a problem in itself, and theres actually a good amount of threads in here about it, but the changes in consciousness that you may undergo may lead to a feeling of alienation once again. in my case, I definitely started early with psychedelics and once I started using them I realized just how differently I was thinking than 95% percent of the people I interacted with. the only thing to fix this problem is time, to integrate your experiences to the fullest, and to start trying to meet like-minded people that share some of your interests.
 
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I see what you mean, but I think it's simpler than that, I see LSD as a powerful psychological tool. I don't see it as some mysterious substance that magically grants insight.

For me certainly, if I dose correctly and I'm in the right frame of mind, I can address any issue thats been bothering me, even emotionally distressing issues. It gives you a clarity of thought and above all allows you to decouple your emotions from the issue.

The reason LSD is so dangerous, not physically, but for the people who react...let say badly to it. Something unpleasant that had been carfully suppressed in their psyche floats to the surface.

Psychiatrist were becoming rather excited about LSD's potential as a way to break through their patients defenses.

A powerful tool indeed, should be treated with the respect it deserves.
 
sometimes i feel like you, not so severe, but i understand. for me, lsd made me realize that everything was nothing, i cant really put it anymore simply. it totally liberated me, although i wasnt totally introverted i had my issues, an this totally freed me from any anxiety. really what you need to do is stop thinking, and start enjoying.
 
You sound a little bit like me.

I suggest individual DMT experiences, acid + dmt experience, and a high dose mushroom trip. These have helped me the most and making the most out of myself. I'm a introvert, have a lot of anxiety, and had some self-esteem issues. They aren't an instant fix. You need to make the efforts out side of tripping and let the trip show you a new perspective on your current situation.

Good luck.
 
I'm sometimes in similair situation to you, OP, and I'm searching for the answer to the same question you've stated.
I've tried Tramadol and for short time, (even third time in a week was not that social as the 1st one) low dose, it's great for me. But I'm sure it's not going to fix the problem forever.
From the answers gathered (and previous reading) it seems it my be worth to try LSD, 2C-E or shrooms it different doses.
Prepare yourself for such experience; first time I took it I was with my friends and we were talking too much to think for oneself about deeper things. With shrooms, I took too much and there are things I don't remember from the trip.
Good luck!
 
well, ive been thinking a lot (sober)

one thing im torn up about is my current situation and i dont know how to get out of it.
I only just turned 18 and am starting university. Im living at home but my parents cant afford me because money is scarce now-a-days. ive been trying to get a job to support myself but that isnt happening.

With uni, im studying something i hate. ive always been a creative person with a love for inventing things. when i was 15 i built a jet turbine engine in my garage out of a few cat food tins and butane gas. The design has always been round but the point was i came to it independently. I also came with the idea of a pulse generator at the age of 7 (all i remember is thinking "what if we used electricity to make more electricity?)

Now im going to university to study electronics with the hope of working in the field. because i want the money. not because i enjoy it. But if i were to do something creative like innovation and design or architecture which i love (know nothing about the history i just love grand architecture) i would love it yet most likely not earn more then i would working full time at a supermarket.
Or even better, i would love to buy myself a van, live on the beach and play my music every day, meet random people and make lots of friends. If that wernt illegal here.

I also love going out and socializing. recently (ever since i finished high school) ive been sitting at home. gotten distant from my friends and life has pretty much stopped for me. ive been trying to get out there and meet people but my social circle revolves around people i dont like.

Ive always been a big thinker and recently i feel my thinking has become dulled, i used to love thinking outside of what is normal. challenge the foundations of ideas, why do things exist. loved creative writing and drawing. Constantly buzzing and energetic, just full of life. I feel like i have lost that part of me, im a shell of that and Im only 18, whats going to happen with the rest of my life? have i become a drone of society doomed to just work a 9 to 5 job I hate at minimum wage just to sustain a life style that ends up making the rich richer.

Now when i talk to people i feel as though im trying to impress them. when i realised that i tried to develop myself (personalty development stuff i mentioned earlier) into my genuine self, and when im my genuine self i find theres nothing to me.

Again im not saying this to try make people feel sorry for me. If i were to do that i would be talking to people i know rather then through an alias on a forum no one knows me on.

I know LSD/psychedelics wouldnt fix my situation as per say, they wont fix the world into allowing me to live a life where i can work what i want and be happy. but can it help me find myself? bring me back to being creative, being inquisitive and can it help teach me how to be my genuine self.

Or as you say, if it makes worse things worse, should i not go into it?

Magic mushrooms season is starting now where i am and thats the only psychedelic i can get because its free and im poor ^^
 
The reason i ask this question is, ive heard tales of people experiencing the most significant moments of their lives on psychedelics. they learn things about themselves and they were also used in native American rituals to "cure" the soul.

Maybe mine is a soul in need of a cure?



The thing im most worried about is going insane however, I had a brush with insanity at one point where i was convinced i was insane but really i was just anxious about a normal state of mind. if i felt sick or if i felt too tired i would freak out thinking i had gone insane. when i look back now i look like a douche haha, but the thing is i always have that fear of loosing what is left of my mind. plus on my fathers side of the family there is a tenancy of schizophrenia.

Im just feeling so god damn confused right now.
 
the more you seek the cure, the more it shall decieve you. you have to get outside of yourself, stay busy, hobbies, friends, parties, less thinking, more doing. psycs may open the door quicker but it is still your responsibility to walk through it, an then keep walking.
 
oh and your still 18, youd be suprised how much you can grow up in just a year from now.
 
Your not alone in your situation, im sure most of us here at one point in our lives sought out and used psychedelics as a means to learn more about ourselves based on our experience's with the external world.

I myself turned to psychedelics around 18 as a means to free myself from the cage i had built around myself over the years, and i will admit that it did allow me to open up much more to people and give me a more defining sense of 'self'. Your at that age where people/friends/family and society have a lot of expectations of you, and your questioning where 'you' stand on all of it.

You mention your father's side has a tendency towards schizophrenia, does someone on his side have the disorder? If so, i would be careful if you do approach psychedelics as there's a chance you may have the genetic predisposition to it.
 
nobody's soul is in need of curing. this is a bad mindset to get into.

it sounds like you can see things about you that you want to change. psychedelics will most likely NOT show you how to change these things. instead they will taunt you with the promise of a "truth" lying just beyond reach, and you can get burned trying to fly too close to the sun. they may show you repressed memories, bringing painful emotions to your surface and causing intense trauma.

changing your own personality takes TIME. if you end up 'figuring out who you are' after a trip, i can almost guarantee you that it will be traumatic and painful and you will not end up with what you thought you wanted.

remember-- life is like a wheel. there are high points and low points, and unless the two are in balance you will never go anywhere.
 
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