Psychedelicway
Greenlighter
- Joined
- May 15, 2016
- Messages
- 3
Hi everyone, I really need your proffessional opinions I don't know if this is loosing the magic or the quality problem or "expecting too much" but I can never get that "oh my god this is amazing" euphoria from mdma anymore with the loved up feeling and music sounding so good basically "can't feel happier than this" feeling anymore.
Not sure if this is loosing the magic or just not being able to get good quality product anymore, or putting too much meaning on it, But this is giving me an extreme disappointment and making me so unhappy in my daily life. Feels like something is missing! ( I know my happiness shouldn't rely on any kind of drug but mdma is very different to me)
Just an explanation why MDMA is very important to me; When I first discovered it 4 years ago, it had changed my life completely. The amazing euphoria I got from it, wondering around at the party by saying "oh my god this is amazing, oh my god I can not believe this!!" It got me into the psytrance scene, made me even move to England!(where I tried it for the first time) I have tried many drugs had good times but never felt nothing like mdma has given to me. That only one night showed me I could actually be happy again(after I had lost my fiancée 4 weeks before marriage date 3 years ago I was thinking nothing could make me happy anymore until I had that amazing night 3 years later) , with music and psy trance hippie culture, psychedelic festivals, peace, love, unity respect. I was someone else, didn't need to take it very often at all. Just remembering the memories I had on it on that night was keeping me happy in my daily life, motivating me for the rest of my life. And was making me more successful in life,I never felt like abusing it.
Was just taking it on special occasions. (Every 3 months maybe) but somehow I have lost the magic. I did take it more often last year when I was on SSRI even though it wasn't effecting me fully, I was still taking it because of the lack of anxiety and nervousness on the come up thanks to SSRI. Than I stopped SSRI and took a long break from md and everything, Then I got this amazing brown cyristals bag, which gave me the experience similar to my first time ever. Amazing euphoria but only for a short time (25 minutes) then it came down. Again don't know is it because of the long break I had before or just very good quality md.
Then after that I've never felt the same, whenever I take it, I just get a strong body rush/high all the psychical effects, jaw clenching eye rolling like crazy but no euphoria, no music appreciation, no loving everyone around etc. (Please note I was never able to find the same good quality brown cyristals ( tried the same source etc) I did try pirecetam to get the magic back, Didn't work and just gave me very clear and fucked up body high. And I tried St. John's wort treatment , not in high doses just normal every day for 6 weeks (to help my anxiety and low mood as well) and stopped 3 weeks prior to the experience, didn't make any difference. Was getting body high for 15 minutes and then coming down straight away (no even need of mentioning euphoria of course) and this horrible anxiety and panic on the day of rolling and while waiting to come up, shivering/ yawning feeling, nervous and anxious because of high expectations and caring too much about the experience.
As a last resort, a few people told me deep web mdma is the best and purest quality of what is available around because it's directly from chemists's own source. And they are sold as %90 pure mdma with loads of reviews etc. So I wanted to give it a chance. Me and my friend bought 10 gram of %84 pure champagne mdma (advertised exactly like that) which was the smallest amount that vendor was selling for £80 only, so it's working out £8 per gram, ridiculously cheap. It arrived looking like curry powder same colour and texture)We tested before trying on marquis it showed purple to black so it did have some mdma.
Anyway I took 200 mg bomb at once and i felt little bit euphoria on the come up for seconds only and after that it got too much of a body high, eye rolling, jaw clenching but no rememberable euphoria. I was in a kind of dream state, I don't even remember what I was doing all that time, but don't remember feeling good or anything. It was just too strong but not euphoric. Is it still loosing the magic? It's not like it didn't effect at all, it did hit me too hard but as a body high only and too much hallucinations like dream state, colour changes and LSD-like visuals. No music appreciation etc. And an absolutely horrific comedown and disappointment, Then again it was too cheap so maybe quality was shit (but how can it be so strong then?) or did I take too much? ( I weight 55kg). Shall I try another vendor on deep web go for more expensive crystals this time?
I will do absolutely anything to bring the mdma magical euphoria back, once it comes back I will not take it more than once a year, as I said memories are enough for me to stay happy more than the drug itself. Last chance for me I think is Ayahuasca as it restarts your body and mind and restore the serotonin system completely, make you go back to your state of mind when you were a child etc. Do you think Ayahuasca is a good idea to bring the magic back? Sorry about the long post but Any help would be appreciated so much. Thanks
Not sure if this is loosing the magic or just not being able to get good quality product anymore, or putting too much meaning on it, But this is giving me an extreme disappointment and making me so unhappy in my daily life. Feels like something is missing! ( I know my happiness shouldn't rely on any kind of drug but mdma is very different to me)
Just an explanation why MDMA is very important to me; When I first discovered it 4 years ago, it had changed my life completely. The amazing euphoria I got from it, wondering around at the party by saying "oh my god this is amazing, oh my god I can not believe this!!" It got me into the psytrance scene, made me even move to England!(where I tried it for the first time) I have tried many drugs had good times but never felt nothing like mdma has given to me. That only one night showed me I could actually be happy again(after I had lost my fiancée 4 weeks before marriage date 3 years ago I was thinking nothing could make me happy anymore until I had that amazing night 3 years later) , with music and psy trance hippie culture, psychedelic festivals, peace, love, unity respect. I was someone else, didn't need to take it very often at all. Just remembering the memories I had on it on that night was keeping me happy in my daily life, motivating me for the rest of my life. And was making me more successful in life,I never felt like abusing it.
Was just taking it on special occasions. (Every 3 months maybe) but somehow I have lost the magic. I did take it more often last year when I was on SSRI even though it wasn't effecting me fully, I was still taking it because of the lack of anxiety and nervousness on the come up thanks to SSRI. Than I stopped SSRI and took a long break from md and everything, Then I got this amazing brown cyristals bag, which gave me the experience similar to my first time ever. Amazing euphoria but only for a short time (25 minutes) then it came down. Again don't know is it because of the long break I had before or just very good quality md.
Then after that I've never felt the same, whenever I take it, I just get a strong body rush/high all the psychical effects, jaw clenching eye rolling like crazy but no euphoria, no music appreciation, no loving everyone around etc. (Please note I was never able to find the same good quality brown cyristals ( tried the same source etc) I did try pirecetam to get the magic back, Didn't work and just gave me very clear and fucked up body high. And I tried St. John's wort treatment , not in high doses just normal every day for 6 weeks (to help my anxiety and low mood as well) and stopped 3 weeks prior to the experience, didn't make any difference. Was getting body high for 15 minutes and then coming down straight away (no even need of mentioning euphoria of course) and this horrible anxiety and panic on the day of rolling and while waiting to come up, shivering/ yawning feeling, nervous and anxious because of high expectations and caring too much about the experience.
As a last resort, a few people told me deep web mdma is the best and purest quality of what is available around because it's directly from chemists's own source. And they are sold as %90 pure mdma with loads of reviews etc. So I wanted to give it a chance. Me and my friend bought 10 gram of %84 pure champagne mdma (advertised exactly like that) which was the smallest amount that vendor was selling for £80 only, so it's working out £8 per gram, ridiculously cheap. It arrived looking like curry powder same colour and texture)We tested before trying on marquis it showed purple to black so it did have some mdma.
Anyway I took 200 mg bomb at once and i felt little bit euphoria on the come up for seconds only and after that it got too much of a body high, eye rolling, jaw clenching but no rememberable euphoria. I was in a kind of dream state, I don't even remember what I was doing all that time, but don't remember feeling good or anything. It was just too strong but not euphoric. Is it still loosing the magic? It's not like it didn't effect at all, it did hit me too hard but as a body high only and too much hallucinations like dream state, colour changes and LSD-like visuals. No music appreciation etc. And an absolutely horrific comedown and disappointment, Then again it was too cheap so maybe quality was shit (but how can it be so strong then?) or did I take too much? ( I weight 55kg). Shall I try another vendor on deep web go for more expensive crystals this time?
I will do absolutely anything to bring the mdma magical euphoria back, once it comes back I will not take it more than once a year, as I said memories are enough for me to stay happy more than the drug itself. Last chance for me I think is Ayahuasca as it restarts your body and mind and restore the serotonin system completely, make you go back to your state of mind when you were a child etc. Do you think Ayahuasca is a good idea to bring the magic back? Sorry about the long post but Any help would be appreciated so much. Thanks
