DeadElvis666
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 7, 2015
- Messages
- 222
So from the age of 15 till about 19 I took tons of acid and really heroic doses. I mean like 10-20 hits probably about 5 days a week during my peak, and maybe a total of around 400-500 different nights of tripping major ballsack. But that's just a guess. It could easily be around 1000 times. I really have no idea. But it was a lot. After that I abused a multitude of other drugs, and overall I feel like I came out of it all pretty well, or at least without many noticeable repercussions. But sometimes I think the LSD messed with my emotions. Years ago I read an article that basically said people who use a lot of LSD can develop emotional problems later in life. Sometimes I feel like my emotions are much more intense than they are for other people. Almost like having BPD or something. Like when I'm happy, I'm so happy I could fly and when I'm sad, I'm so sad I feel like dying. And my emotions can flip rapidly from one to the other. Unlike bipolar, which goes in bigger waves and cycles, my moods seem capable of flipping instantly, more like BPD. And it isn't like I'm suffering from a chemical imbalance either. My moods and emotions are the direct result of my environment, but everything just seems to have the volume turned way up. Other people seem to have a pretty even and balanced temperament and mood, but I live on a rollercoaster of extreme highs and lows. It feels like my emotions are way more powerful than everyone else's. I can't really control it either. Particularly feelings of happiness and sadness seem extremely amplified. I don't really get angry or anything. I had anger problems as a kid, but I guess I grew out of it. Now it's just the swinging pendulum of joy and sorrow. Has any other mega-tripper noticed this? Any scientific data that could support this? I'm sure serotonin is part of it. I also used MDMA heavily for several years, as well as a really heavy N20 addiction which lasted for years and nearly killed me.