I don't know who you are, but I am honestly sending you the best energy I can right now. I've been to the psych ward 3 times, 2 of which were for suicidal behavior.
Saying "it's not worth it" is kinda meaningless sometimes when you're in a certain mindset - at least when I was in a position of harming myself.
I don't know what else to say other than I wish you the best, care about you in some vicarious way and that things will be better. Things always work out in some strange way the universe decides.
But yeah... it's never worth it. I always pictured my mother and how devastated she would be... among other family members. No matter how much fucked up shit I've done to hurt them they would be absolutely DEVASTATED. Sometimes imagining the pain of others always stopped me. I hurt enough myself, why spread that pain to others?
Good luck man, I wish you the best and some stranger over the internet is thinking about you.