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July Getting/Staying Sober and/or Clean vs It's really hot, I want an icecream!

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You could try something like a moderate/high dose of mushrooms, or DMT. :) But obviously this type of experience is not for everyone.

Have you tried salvia? It's legal in my state (but not all the states).
 
I figured I would start at a low to moderate dose of shrooms (most likely) and work my way up and spend a lot of time in nature. Just need to find a source.

And no I haven't, I've heard some fascinating experiences though. I've also heard some on the other end of the spectrum. I live in Illinois btw, idk if it is or not.
 
devilsgospel said:
I figured I would start at a low to moderate dose of shrooms (most likely) and work my way up and spend a lot of time in nature. Just need to find a source.

And no I haven't, I've heard some fascinating experiences though. I've also heard some on the other end of the spectrum. I live in Illinois btw, idk if it is or not.
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It's illegal in Illinois.

I would definitely recommend spending a lot of time in nature. :) I live in a large city so it's hard to get out of the concrete jungle I find myself in every day.
 
devilsgospel said:
This really speaks to me, especially with the thoughts I've been having recently. Lately I've overcome my need to use drugs, and now know how it feels to be happy sober for once in my life. Drugs are no longer my crutch.

I feel that me swearing off drugs for such a long period of time may have been an overreaction. The straight-edge lifestyle just isn't for me. Inb4 I start to get the "that's your addiction talking" speech, I have not felt a need to use anything for any problem I've been presented. I've never been physically addicted to anything (by some miracle), only psychologically. I've been practicing good diet and exercise, as well as controlling my emotions and reacting to adversity in positive ways. I've rebuilt relationships and undone past damages that my former self has caused.

I've been looking into using psychedelics to expand my mind and find an even greater sense of self than I have already developed. I would still like to stay away from recreational and "just for the fuck of it" use and practice strict harm reduction. I think I've developed the perfect mindset for this. If I'm wrong, it's back on the wagon indefinitely.

What do you guys think?
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I would suggest you try to do these things without drugs, I have a ton of experience with Psychedelics but nothing compares to doing it "naturally" for me. Also, remember using psychedelic drugs carries its own set of risks as well.

Furthermore, just realize that using anything is a risk of relapse. I don't care what substance it is. Just really make sure you consider everything, maybe if you have people you trust talk to them about it, particularly if they are "clean" as well.
 
July has been my first month totally clean in FOREVER! No heroin, no nothing. Nada. And this month I ran five miles for the first time in three years. I used to be a marathoner, but that interfered with my dope habit so I quit running. 8)

Congrats to everybody here. It's so nice not to be standing at a bus stop drenched in sweat trying to cop in the hot weather!
 
dognasher said:
July has been my first month totally clean in FOREVER! No heroin, no nothing. Nada. And this month I ran five miles for the first time in three years. I used to be a marathoner, but that interfered with my dope habit so I quit running. 8)

Congrats to everybody here. It's so nice not to be standing at a bus stop drenched in sweat trying to cop in the hot weather!
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congratulations on your progress :D
 
I just read the back and forth posts between CH and rio-it has amazed me in the short time I have been here how supportive this site ( this thread) has always been. I almost never read negativity, or people bashing each other. Another thing I love about this site is that "sober" is whatever works for you, whatever is keeping you alive and a good person. I don't care what you are sober from-your DOC, or all substances. It can be cigarettes for all I care. So it was nice to see that within a day, there was a resolution and peace on this thread. we can all learn from CH's patience and understanding. You must be an amazing person, CH

anyway-my clean time is over. A few days short of 2months
i lost my job. The job I loved more than almost anything. The job I have had for over half my life. I can still hardly beleive it
i have cried so much I can barely see. I'm embarrassed, ashamed, really sad, and angry. Not to mention terrified I will lose my home. So I chose not to deal with it and take 28pills ( all I could find)
I'm aware that I had a choice, and this was not a good one.
i guess I'll keep you all updated on "my secret" thread-I dont want to. A bunch of negative crap on this thread. But I wanted to share what happened and what I did with you guys. I really like you guys
thanks for listening
 
^
@imtryin, your accomplishment--nearly two months off opiates--is an inspiration and a fantastic achievement. i'm totally impressed at how you did that. and this doesn't change any of that.

thanks to all that work, you have a great well of experience to draw on when you're ready to figure out next steps.

-Sim
 
Imtryin said:
I just read the back and forth posts between CH and rio-it has amazed me in the short time I have been here how supportive this site ( this thread) has always been. I almost never read negativity, or people bashing each other. Another thing I love about this site is that "sober" is whatever works for you, whatever is keeping you alive and a good person. I don't care what you are sober from-your DOC, or all substances. It can be cigarettes for all I care. So it was nice to see that within a day, there was a resolution and peace on this thread. we can all learn from CH's patience and understanding. You must be an amazing person, CH

anyway-my clean time is over. A few days short of 2months
i lost my job. The job I loved more than almost anything. The job I have had for over half my life. I can still hardly beleive it
i have cried so much I can barely see. I'm embarrassed, ashamed, really sad, and angry. Not to mention terrified I will lose my home. So I chose not to deal with it and take 28pills ( all I could find)
I'm aware that I had a choice, and this was not a good one.
i guess I'll keep you all updated on "my secret" thread-I dont want to. A bunch of negative crap on this thread. But I wanted to share what happened and what I did with you guys. I really like you guys
thanks for listening
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I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your job; was it as a result of your relapse, or did you lose your job due to other circumstances? <3

hang in there
 
Lost it on Monday-the company restructured and gave me a package ( I'm pretty sure it was becasue I was one of the highest paid people in my position )-I'm also pretty good at what I do , so they could never of fired me for "cause". I saw them let go of apprx 30 people over the last 6 months, but I honestly thought I was safe because I produce such good results.
It took me over 2 days of emotional pain before I relapsed. Right now I should be so high it's ridiculous-but I do t feel anythig. It was a waste of pills, probably killed my liver and I'm surprised Im not sick right now.
This sucks so bad
 
Imtryin -- I'm still very proud of your accomplishment, and believe your relapse will be momentary and soon overcome. OVERCOME, baby. Sucks that you lost your job, too. I'd hire you on the basis of your attitude alone. As for me, I've been amazingly successful at moderating my substance use. I am by no means "sober" but I'm doing so much better than I was when I was abusing stims.
 
Imtryin said:
Lost it on Monday-the company restructured and gave me a package ( I'm pretty sure it was becasue I was one of the highest paid people in my position )-I'm also pretty good at what I do , so they could never of fired me for "cause". I saw them let go of apprx 30 people over the last 6 months, but I honestly thought I was safe because I produce such good results.
It took me over 2 days of emotional pain before I relapsed. Right now I should be so high it's ridiculous-but I do t feel anythig. It was a waste of pills, probably killed my liver and I'm surprised Im not sick right now.
This sucks so bad
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I'm very sorry to hear about how this led to a relapse. Just try to realize that you can get back to where you were with your sobriety, job or no job.

I can understand income and employment are huge issues with recovery, and this is often why I suggest to people to work on getting clean without having to go to a job, because the added stress of employment can often lead to a relapse.

Another day down for me, much <3 to everyone
 
Imtryin said:
Lost it on Monday-the company restructured and gave me a package ( I'm pretty sure it was becasue I was one of the highest paid people in my position )-I'm also pretty good at what I do , so they could never of fired me for "cause". I saw them let go of apprx 30 people over the last 6 months, but I honestly thought I was safe because I produce such good results.
It took me over 2 days of emotional pain before I relapsed. Right now I should be so high it's ridiculous-but I do t feel anythig. It was a waste of pills, probably killed my liver and I'm surprised Im not sick right now.
This sucks so bad
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You really let yourself down man. You fucked up and are continuing the cycle of self-destruction for a fleeting feeling of pleasure, and your relapse is a definite sign of weakness. Don't let it get you down, try to stay positive and try harder next time, you can beat this.
 
Rio Fantastic said:
You really let yourself down man. You fucked up and are continuing the cycle of self-destruction for a fleeting feeling of pleasure, and your relapse is a definite sign of weakness. Don't let it get you down, try to stay positive and try harder next time, you can beat this.
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Some would call your post "tough love." Others would call it a "dick move." I'm not sure which it is myself, but it's a risk to mess with someone when they're fragile. However, I've been given tough love, and it worked (after I got over myself).
 
I don't agree with tuff love
I must admit tho that that's what got me clean
Don't be hard on your yourself as long as you stop right now it will be a lapse not a relapse
You got this just get back to track
 
Just A Guy said:
Some would call your post "tough love." Others would call it a "dick move." I'm not sure which it is myself, but it's a risk to mess with someone when they're fragile. However, I've been given tough love, and it worked (after I got over myself).
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Well having battled heroin addiction myself, I don't think mollycoddling and patting addicts on the back for their relapse does them any favors, thats just my personal opinion.
 
Beating yourself up over a lapse is just going to lead to another relapse.

I think it isn't a big deal to slip up (lapse), but it is a big deal to become re-addicted (relapse)

Try to pull yourself out of this imtryin - before you are too deep in it again.
 
Rio Fantastic said:
Well having battled heroin addiction myself, I don't think mollycoddling and patting addicts on the back for their relapse does them any favors, thats just my personal opinion.
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I had someone close to me relapse, I was angry and felt that the program required me to take very intense actions (leave the person immediately, cut off all contact)... thankfully I talked to my sponsor (who has 30+ years) who stated "That is the last thing they need and you need, be kind to them and support them".

I remember being in early recovery and thinking I had to constantly be hardline and intense, when it turns out for me its the opposite. I need to be open and acknowledge that my experience is only mine and everyone else's path is different.

Yes yes, I know the whole "baby the addict, kill the addict" line but that is generally spouted by old timers who often forget how difficult early recovery is. Tough love is needed sometimes, but it must be done at the correct time. After a relapse isn't really it. Before a relapse its easier to hear "man up and handle it" vs after a relapse
 
Just A Guy said:
Imtryin -- I'm still very proud of your accomplishment, and believe your relapse will be momentary and soon overcome. OVERCOME, baby. Sucks that you lost your job, too. I'd hire you on the basis of your attitude alone. As for me, I've been amazingly successful at moderating my substance use. I am by no means "sober" but I'm doing so much better than I was when I was abusing stims.
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In case no one told you today-you are wonderful.
Thank you
 
Hey there. Thanks for your support. I did let myself down, no question. I didn't take anything today-but I did find 5 blue pills that I can not figure out what they are. Can't find them on pill reports-no where. I keep looking at them thinking I wiill just take them
honestly, I'm so fucked up. I did not see this coming. I received 2 bouquets of flowers today, and 3 gift baskets of food-all from my staff. One young man came to my house tonight to drop off a beautiful card and a gift -I was humbled. I miss my staff so much. I am well aware that if I turn into a full out pill head, I'm going to spend the rest of my days in my room, and eventually I will lose my house. But I need to get out there and see what I can possibly do for work. I'm going to be in trouble financially because I am never going to find a job that pays as well as the one I worked at for 23 years. Which means that I will lose something in my life. Most likely my house. That is why staying in my room feeling sorry for myself is working for me I really do not want to face my reality. I'm fucking sad. Really really sad.
Btw-those stupid pills I took yesterday-I didn't get high. There wasnt even a moment of relief for me. And I want a moment. But I don't have anything to take now, other than these 5 little blue pills
sorry I raambled, thanks for listening
 
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