OverDone
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2008
- Messages
- 5,404
Fuck! I had a nice run of banging coke. My connect was cool with fronting massive ammounts ($50 and $100 at a time). I was able to keep it going for about 3 months, eventually owing about $10k. Dude knew me when i was succesful and had no idea i was flat broke. I talked the talk and it worked for a bit. Now he wants his loot (can't blame him) and I don't have it.
I kept on telling myself "it's cool, i can always sell this and that". Now i'm actually thinking of a second mortgage. More immediately, I plan on hitting the pawn shop just so i can give him something and, more importantly, see if i can use the cash to hopefully get something to jam in my arm (actually feet and legs).
I know the drill... if i get more, i'll just be in the same spot after its gone. What then? I only have so much of value to pawn off (i still haven't paid my bills either). What the fuck do i do?!?!!
The easy answer is just STOP. It isn't that easy. How do i get over the obsession of getting another hit. I fucked myself by enjoying the "neverending" high for so long. Its almost like having a credit card and just buying shit without care because the money isn't something you can grasp.
People who have kicked this shit, how did you gain the strength and motivation to stop? I have none. I'm fucking weak as shit when it comes to sticking coke in my veins. I fantasize about it, talk about it, and cruise the internet to read topics about it. How the fuck did you stop?
I kept on telling myself "it's cool, i can always sell this and that". Now i'm actually thinking of a second mortgage. More immediately, I plan on hitting the pawn shop just so i can give him something and, more importantly, see if i can use the cash to hopefully get something to jam in my arm (actually feet and legs).
I know the drill... if i get more, i'll just be in the same spot after its gone. What then? I only have so much of value to pawn off (i still haven't paid my bills either). What the fuck do i do?!?!!
The easy answer is just STOP. It isn't that easy. How do i get over the obsession of getting another hit. I fucked myself by enjoying the "neverending" high for so long. Its almost like having a credit card and just buying shit without care because the money isn't something you can grasp.
People who have kicked this shit, how did you gain the strength and motivation to stop? I have none. I'm fucking weak as shit when it comes to sticking coke in my veins. I fantasize about it, talk about it, and cruise the internet to read topics about it. How the fuck did you stop?