Its gettin' bad

Hehe... I have 18 months of complete abstinence under my belt today!

So many much needed changes have taken place.

I'm comfortable again in my home back in Colorado.
I have a successful side business.
I'm surrounded by those who generally care for me.
I feel good in my own skin.
Fuck, I'm actually respected! (who woulda thunk?)

I've decided to go back on antidepressants (not Paxil). My therapist from rehab in 2009 said that she knew I would do well regardng my recovery. Her concern was in regards to my acceptance regarding my mental health challenges. She was right. I tried everything else prior to this decision and now I simply accept that it is what it is.

Life is generally good and peaceful. I've had instances of horrible thoughts and feelings since I got clean but they are all new so I simply accept them (and kinda welcome them, actually). These are all new thoughts and feelings so I'm cool with it to a degree. I have no interest in being that person I once was so 'new' is good

Thanks for being here for me, guys. <3

I read this ages ago and was filled with absolute joy and delight...unfortunately I had work and then forgot where I had read it and then time passed. :p

OD you sir, are a LEGEND and I can't think of anyone better to be in such a position. You worked so hard to get out of where you were and and you shared so much of yourself on here; falls and victories. You did all of this with such integrity and honesty, am just humbled that I knew you on here - you are an inspiration man, for any and all of us.

Lots of love to you dude. <3
 
I disagree... Asclepius and herbavore, you have both saved my ass when I was in states of mental anguish. The difference is that the both of you maintain providing support and love to anonymous strangers on the Internet. Amazing gifts!

Hehe.... Jesus, I had a million BL crushes back in the day! Asclepius, you were one of them!
 
^VirginMary, I'm not sure what happened but I don't see a deleted post. This is the second time today I have seen this so maybe it is a glitch in the system? I will check it out. In the meantime you can try to post it again.
 
Haven't posted here in quite a few years. 09/23/2022 has brought me to 12 years of being clean. No drugs. No alcohol.

So much of life has happened over these past twelve years and I don't even recognize the person who started this thread anymore even though he's still very present within me.

Today, I wouldn't change anything that has occurred in my life (the good, the bad, the indifferent) as it's all brought me to where I am with myself today.

So many people from TDS have been critical in those early years. I'm sad that some have passed, some are locked up and some are... well... sometimes we just disappear.

I have a lot of love and respect for this forum and site. I would have never gotten clean without those people.

This is special.
 
Haven't posted here in quite a few years. 09/23/2022 has brought me to 12 years of being clean. No drugs. No alcohol.

So much of life has happened over these past twelve years and I don't even recognize the person who started this thread anymore even though he's still very present within me.

Today, I wouldn't change anything that has occurred in my life (the good, the bad, the indifferent) as it's all brought me to where I am with myself today.

So many people from TDS have been critical in those early years. I'm sad that some have passed, some are locked up and some are... well... sometimes we just disappear.

I have a lot of love and respect for this forum and site. I would have never gotten clean without those people.

This is special.
That's awesome that you found your way back. Super proud of you for all your success, ya love to see it all come together for people.
 
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