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Is this considered abuse?

Jiraiya said:
My symptoms that have returned are crippling anxiety, paranoia (lots of triggers, fear of drugs etc), a sense that i'm not the same person I used to be, inward thinking, depression, can't control thoughts (when I smoked the weed they were echoing loud in my head, and I start to think that I was totally losing it), I get the sense that i'm in a really dark hole. However I haven't noticed any cognitive differences, and I definitely haven't lost my libido. I just have this sense of fear. It's bollocks.
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Sounds like depersonalization do you feel like everything isnt real?

But you dont know why
 
Dark Side said:
Sounds like depersonalization do you feel like everything isnt real?

But you dont know why
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Hmmm, not so much. I do get a sense that the world is a darker place, but everything seems pretty real. Just different. There's probably a bit of dp coming into play though.
 
afterlyfestyle said:
To be 100% safe, only do 150-180mg in a session. You'll have a great night and come Tuesday you may feel a little down, but NOTHING compared to 300mg+ doses!
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Is this recommendation from Sasha Shulgin who recommended 140-150mg initial doses and one 40mg booster?
 
Hey dude, i'm doing worse. The crippling depression that just left me a month ago came back, but i'm sure it will go again soon. Last week I was doing alot better, but I was still dwelling on the question too much 'have I fucked myself up'. Then I smoked weed. Then shit went downhill. So now i'm working myself back uphill. How about yourself man?
 
Could this be none drug related? You might just be depressed about the experience and it has caused you to rethink your outlook on life. The actual experience of doing substances on a regular basis can be pretty intense. You might just be having issues dealing with who you are and what's going on since you started taking e. I know it sounds preposterous, but put it in the back of your mind and really think about it. You were obviously freaking out because of the amount you did, and that's not that much. You might just be pissed at yourself for doing more than you thought you'd ever do. I don't know, think about it.
 
I can't help but feel that everyone talking about lasting depression months after use is just dwelling on it too much. Obviously everyone is different, but my abuse the last few months has been worse than yours listed(~2.5g of MDMA just in the last 2 months for myself) and I am fine. I have definitely had my fair share of terrible days after, but never more than 3-4 days. I haven't used in 3 weeks, only because the weekly usage caught up to me with a crazy tolerance, never any bad side effects though.

Just my 2cents, not trying to discredit what you are saying whatsoever. I feel like having a positive state of mind has really helped me. I NEVER focus on the negative aspects of MDMA use, as it will only bring me down.
 
AnonymousAbuser said:
I can't help but feel that everyone talking about lasting depression months after use is just dwelling on it too much. Obviously everyone is different, but my abuse the last few months has been worse than yours listed(~2.5g of MDMA just in the last 2 months for myself) and I am fine. I have definitely had my fair share of terrible days after, but never more than 3-4 days. I haven't used in 3 weeks, only because the weekly usage caught up to me with a crazy tolerance, never any bad side effects though.

Just my 2cents, not trying to discredit what you are saying whatsoever. I feel like having a positive state of mind has really helped me. I NEVER focus on the negative aspects of MDMA use, as it will only bring me down.
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I think most people would experience at least some mild side effects with your patterns of consumption, and I'm sure you realise the way you are using it is not sustainable beyond a couple of months really. It's good that you have toned down your usage, as MDMA side effects will often sneak up on you very unexpectedly. You won't know it until it really hits you. Just a word of caution from someone who was fooled into ever increasing doses by his initial resilience to most substances, mentally and physically.

It is also worth mentioning that negative effects are hard to subjectively discern, especially after only such a short period of abuse. It often takes quite a lot of abuse until side effects reach a level where they are obvious. How are you supposed to detect subtle changes when your body has, over the 2 weeks AND during your 3 weeks of recuperation, not been in a state of homeostasis from a neurochemical point of view. Even during these 3 weeks of abstinence, regardless of whether or not any changes have occurred, your body HAS (according to the evidence) been operating on unnaturally low serotonin levels (and may continue be in this state for at least another week) - yet you cannot detect any changes. So how are you supposed to detect changes if minimal damage has occurred? Minor damage wouldn't be too subjectively different to the marginally altered physical state you are currently in.

Again, not trying to be a fear-monger, just reiterating my view that it is best to err on the side of caution with this substance. Humans are notoriously bad at assessing themselves in an accurate way, even those that (often erroneously) believe they are extremely in tune with their minds and bodies. This is especially true when one has been taking a substance like MDMA, which alters you physiologically for a few weeks after your last dose. It's best to stick to general harm reduction guidelines regardless of how tolerant you think your body is of MDMA.

"NEVER focusing on negative aspects of MDMA" may ensure that the substance won't bring you down by triggering some of the anxiety-based reactions frequently seen on this board, but simply ignoring the fact that MDMA can cause problems can lead to problems in and of itself.
 
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I am definitely aware of what you're saying. I will be toning down my usage a lot and taking care of myself. I don't plan on ever using MDMA more than once per month now.
 
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