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is phone sex cheating...

max_ said:
I'm a guy and.. If he is paying for phone sex I don't think is cheating (at least not as bad as phone sex with an ex or with a phone-fuck-buddy)
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^^ This this this this thissssss

If it's phone sex with a phone operator, no I would not consider it cheating. I would consider it an almost virtual porn. Obviously sensory and not literal.

If it's with a friend, yes it's cheating.

I will say that men take porn and sex related stuff differently, they run on a different wave length and it's not something you should take personal.
 
rangrz said:
In an ideal world I'd have a clone and then I could actually have sex with myself without just jerking off. Man that would kick ass, all the awesome of sex, all the awesome of rangrz, none of the annoying having to contend with lesser beings.
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LMAO doesnt even some up my laughter
 
3 said:
It really depends on the relationship, and what boundaries you have set.

Sometimes going to a strip club is cheating. Sometimes holding hands with another girl is cheating. Sometimes paid phonesex is cheating. It all depends on you.
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^ This. And the fact that your partner hid his behaviour from you indicates that this was certainly not an unintentional crossing of these boundaries..

EDIT: I take back the part in italics, as I misread the thread and thought he was having phone sex with another woman (without $$), not calling up a phone sex hotline.

I feel as though it's similar to porn as others have said. If it bothers you, then you need to speak to him. Leaving the issue unresolved and withholding sex isn't going to help your cause. Sort things out - this doesn't need to be made into too much of an issue.
 
Last edited:
I don't think that's cheating - it's pretty much the same as using porn, or going to strip clubs.

It does depend on your relationship though, and what the boundaries you guys laid out suggest.

I wouldn't do anything here except talk to him, and if he doesn't wanna talk about it back off and leave him to his cave. Then stop having sex with him...and if he's trying to have sex with you tell him no and why not, until he decides he wants to talk about what's up.

Pussy power!

However - have you guys been having sex much recently anyways? That could be a big part of da issue.
 
I would be very upset and hurt if my husband did that. there was a time in our relationship that he was secretly corresponding with his X. The worst thing about it was that he denied it, lied lied lied. Had he told me, I would not have been nearly as upset.
But phone sex, wow that is heavy. is he paying a service for this, or is he calling someone he knows?
If it is his credit card, his debt, and he is calling a 900 number or service,. then that to me, would not be nearly as bad as if he is having phone sex with a girl he knows in real life. If he is having phone sex with another girlfriend, and X, or a fuckbuddy I would be livid. And if he used MY credit card account to do this, he would be on the street sop fast his head would spin.
But if it was a service, and he used his own money I would just ask "what can we do to make things spicier, so that you won't feel the urge to spend all that money on a phone sex lady". Maybe he has a kinky side he is ashamed about. I would be gentle with him if that is the case. Good Luck. Love is hard. Relationships are harder...but worth it.
 
no i dont think it is because to me its the same is watching porn just different kinda
 
Fatjosh said:
EXACTLY sex is about physical intamacy unless u r a narcasist, it is about like u said sweaty bodies rubbing together, the smell and not like the smell of pussy which is great, but that smell like when they are gone for a week and u miss them, so you sleep with their pillow because it smells like them, that smell.
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nein. sex is not about physical intimacy. it is about minds being put together, million miles away from physical intimacy.
 
honeypie3x3 said:
I would be very upset and hurt if my husband did that. there was a time in our relationship that he was secretly corresponding with his X. The worst thing about it was that he denied it, lied lied lied. Had he told me, I would not have been nearly as upset.
But phone sex, wow that is heavy. is he paying a service for this, or is he calling someone he knows?
If it is his credit card, his debt, and he is calling a 900 number or service,. then that to me, would not be nearly as bad as if he is having phone sex with a girl he knows in real life. If he is having phone sex with another girlfriend, and X, or a fuckbuddy I would be livid. And if he used MY credit card account to do this, he would be on the street sop fast his head would spin.
But if it was a service, and he used his own money I would just ask "what can we do to make things spicier, so that you won't feel the urge to spend all that money on a phone sex lady". Maybe he has a kinky side he is ashamed about. I would be gentle with him if that is the case. Good Luck. Love is hard. Relationships are harder...but worth it.
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It was with a credit card. Phone sex operator.
 
well i had my final talk with him last nite, about everything b/c this had been an issue for about 2-3 years now so its nothing new to us,..but its always lurking in the back of my thoughts. So he told me that he hasent been and will not do this anymore and that he was sorry for hurting me. And maybe i did let this rule our relationship, im just going to have to forgive (not forget) but im going to have to let this go its the only way that we can both be happy again, i forgot what being happy was. Im willing to try and make this work damn it! not just for me and "us" but for our wonderfull son. We need to set examples for our 2 year old and not fight all the time. So i begin my new jorney with love, respect & loads of sex! Thank you everyone for the suport.<3
 
If it was included in the nono list when you started your relationship then it is indeed cheating, if it was discussed and given the OK then it is not cheating…

If you did not have this discussion and clear rules were not agreed upon at the beginning of the relationship then you both need to go back to relationship building 101. Every relationship is different and has different rules, asking a group of strangers what they think is silly and doesn’t matter at all because what is “normal” doesn’t apply to your relationship ,all that applies are the rules you set.


With that said, my wife and I would agree that phone sex is considered cheating under our rules.
 
LuGoJ said:
If it was included in the nono list when you started your relationship then it is indeed cheating, if it was discussed and given the OK then it is not cheating…

If you did not have this discussion and clear rules were not agreed upon at the beginning of the relationship then you both need to go back to relationship building 101. Every relationship is different and has different rules, asking a group of strangers what they think is silly and doesn’t matter at all because what is “normal” doesn’t apply to your relationship ,all that applies are the rules you set.


With that said, my wife and I would agree that phone sex is considered cheating under our rules.
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"we've been going out for awhile, we should formalize our relation.. we will be exclusive, everyone's allowed to go out with friends, no phone sex...."

c'mon nobody even thinks of phone sex like ever.. this is a bizarre scenario that NO ONE thinks of when they find a couple.
 
that's weird. i didn't know people actually used those things. what was it, 1800-VAGINA-1?

Edit: OMG that's a real number...i just fucking dialed it...LOL
 
lolol, fuck these kind of threads make me laugh.

No bigger issues in life then if someone you love talks on the phone about particular subjects, and if this is or is not a violation of some undefined, intangible set of rules.
 
Yeah ^ pretty much - if phone sex has never been mentioned in ground rules when they are being set at the start of a relationship, then whilst, it is a cause for concern (not too much, it's just fantasy after all), all it needs is some communication that it makes her feel awful and that maybe they need to talk about what rules should be in place, and make communication easier by NOT being blaming, but just wanting to get to the bottom of things.
 
gr33n3y3z said:
quick question, do you think having phone sex behind your partner back is cheating? Okay im asking this b/c my partner racked up quite a bill on sevral diffrent credit cards all behind my back i only found out b/c i found where he kept all the bills...what a dick! we have a 2 year old together and we have been together for about 5 years. I have talked to him about this but it still bothers me to the point where im not into having sex with "him" . What do you think, and how the hell do i get over this?
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If you did not know, then yes it's cheating.
Forgiveness has to come from within, if you can't forgive him, it will poison you and your relationship. I guess what I'm saying is either forgive or if you can't, move on.
 
I'm not certain if it's cheating. But, what I do know is that he violated three key elements to a healthy relationship, Trust, Honesty and Respect. He obviously knew it was wrong or he wouldn't have hidden it from you.
 
I wouldnt call it cheating but at the same time if its something he feels the need to lie about then he knows its wrong. Although then at the same time it shows he cares enough to lie? (i know that sounds retarded but at least it means he cares enough to tryn hide it - some men wouldnt) also, not that it makes it any better ESPECIALLY if youve never discussed it but a lot of men (and women) will love one person but just really want to have sex with others, they just cant help it (ive experienced this personally, i love my bf and would always choose him first but sometimes i cant help but notice some sexy individual) as long as you come first then id say keep an open mind, make sure both of your needs are met, and listen to each other. Calmly ask him what he was getting from his phone sex that he wasnt getting from you, see if its something you can fix, and compromise! Get something you want from him too! Best of luck to you guys <3
 
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