To preface this I used to be an alcoholic (or I suppose I still am). I'm talking serious binging since I was 14 due to constant utter debilitating anxiety. When I was in my early 20's I ended up in rehab for alcohol use and I never intended to go back. 2 and a half years later (two weeks to be exact) I relapsed and did a lot of very stupid things, my reason for relapse was being sick of being anxious yet again - for job interviews, dates, social situations, all of it.
Anyway, I've had my problems with benzos in the past, xanax to be precise, but its always felt relatively 'controlled'? When I knew my tolerance was too high, I slowly brought it down using valium, and using a sensible taper came off them completely. But since then, the same problems have occurred from childhood and beyond, crippling anxiety (thus in part the relapse of which I'm feeling is over now completely).
Anyway what I'm asking is - does anyone think it is possible to use benzos sensibly with the above context? I know it sounds perhaps a little bit foolhardy, but I feel like I've just been using other drugs that are far more damaging to my body (like ketamine) to self medicate the anxiety. Or if not benzos anyone have any other reasonable suggestions? Shrooms every now and then for an introspective trip seem to help, but I'm not yet ready to be completely sober, and maybe benzos could help.
If anything I'm just a bit pissed that so many people around me get to use alcohol to 'alleviate their stresses' from time to time and I can't lol. Oh and weed makes me anxious also so that's not a possibility unfortunately.
