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Insane parents:/ ugh

L

LivetospeedBez

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 26, 2015
Messages
15
Hello, I am 18 years old but I still live at home. My parents know about my drug use and they literally hate it.

This morning I came down stairs after I woke up at about 1 pm. They immediately asked me if I got fucked up and went to bed. I didn't get "Fucked up" at all, like I didn't even use drugs last night. Then I brought a bottle of fruit punch mio and water up to bed. Then my dad went into my room and found the bottle of mio. He immediately came running to me and screaming at me wondering why there is a bottle of "alcohol" in my room.

I was in shock, I didn't know what to think. I am so sick Of his accusing me of doing things that I'm not. All I said to him was take a sip and see if that's alcohol. He took a sip, ad as soon as he did this he spit it out. He lowered his head and walked away muttering "fucking damn kids and there non detectable drugs."

I honestly am thinking about moving out because this is becoming a regular occurrence around my house. This is not something I wanna deal with at ALL. Everyday he will find a reason to find something drug related to yell at me about.

I smoke cigarettes, he is so paranoid that I am going to smoke pot also, that he keeps my lighter and I have I ask for permission to use it. He follows me outside, lights my cig for me and walks inside with the lighter. This is literally getting rediculous. I need help on learning how to deal with this, if any one has experienced any psychotic parents I would love some advice on how to deal with this.
 
i'm 20 my dad is like that super super nosy
it is very uncomfortable,
he even opens my mail, then yells at me when i ask him to stop reading my mail
There isn't much i can do tho, i've tried reasoning with him, bringing my counselor in on the situation, he won't rationalize or compromise
Moving out and reaching independence is easier said than done, especially when you have no friends or good supports and you have a drug charge on your criminal record so employment/housing is difficult to obtain and i have like zero credit and no car
lol
sucks
 
This is my father who is doing this and he just accused me yesterday of drunk driving on Valentines day. He was POSITIVE that I was drunk and that's why I slept that late. He said any normal person that isn't drunk it high wakes up at 10 am at the latest.

I am starting to get homocidal thoughts I really need help.
 
If you are homicidal then... if you cant control your urges seek mental help. WHen i'm suicidal i call my county's Copeline altho ive been hospitalized a few times and kindof tired of it.
ive never been homicidal but u should probably like go to the library or something to get out of the house for a while
 
Damned if they do, damned if they don't. My parents tolerated my cannabis smoking.. despite my mum saying "not in my house!". They were too soft.. though slight hypocrisy prevented them from really following though.

Their roof, their rules though. Not much you can do on that. You'll be lucky if you can sway their position even slightly! All I can say is just don't keep shit at home and do it away from the house.
 
^ yeah do what that guy says but also keep in mind... it's always better to get caught by your parent's than by the cops.
Worst that can happen is your parent's call the cops. but they probably won't. So sometimes it is worth risking to smoke at your home as long as you have a good chance of getting away with it, lighting up in a parking lot somewhere isnt always a good idea because law enforcement can get you there
legal stuff sucks
 
Well the thing is I barley do any drugs anymore, I went throught a hard meth binge in the summer that was defiantly obvious ( I was kicked out for it) but they won't fucking lay off my ass about the drugs
 
Well, you're 18 and still at home, and you say your parents are aware of your drug use. So they have reason to suspect you're doing something. And if they arent very drug/party savvy anything that seems odd or out of place to them they are going to think you're high. As "parents" they are concerned about your well being and that you're doing something thats going to screw up your life your health. They dont want to see their kid go down the wrong road and while you dont like what they're doing, they do it because their worried about you. You live in their house so they can be as nosey as they want, its their house and their kid. They may be doing things that you do not like, but they are doing what any parent that cares about their kid would be doing. You're 18 if you dont like what they are doing, then move out of THEIR house. Getting homicidal because they are doing their job as parents dumb, you're the one doing the drugs. What do you want? For them to do nothing and let you do illegal drugs, bring illegal drugs into their house and the rif raf that comes with drug users and risk their home, their well being just so you can do as you please? Have a little respect for your parents dude. Like the earlier post said they might call the cops, what may be worse is the cops come to their house because someone else called. You did/do drugs and they are aware of it so they are always going to be up your ass about as long as you live in their house. Instead of hating on them be glad you have parents that care about, even if you dont like what they're doing.


this is where, get your own place, pay your own rent and bills with your own money and you can do whatever the fuck you want comes into play.
 
LivetospeedBez said:
Well the thing is I barley do any drugs anymore, I went throught a hard meth binge in the summer that was defiantly obvious ( I was kicked out for it) but they won't fucking lay off my ass about the drugs
Click to expand...

I was in your corner before i got to this post. Dude your lucky you got a roof over your head, and some good and not in the streets. You fucked up and no wonder why they freaking out. Honestly its because they worry about you ruining your life. You got a 2nd chance. Many dont get that with family and shelter.

2 options.

1) stop crying and bitchin and realize your blessings, take advantage of it and live by your parents rules, and stay civil til you get your own place

OR

2) get the fuck out and move. Your 18 your allowed to leave as you wish. But think long and hard about it.

If it were me, id suck it up for a little longer. Keep your nose clean every other day be like "dad come look through my room if you want" making lulz. Work hard save harder and move out.

Good luck.
 
Do you work or do you study? Are your grades excellent or just passing? Do you contribute any money towards rent or food?

Don't give them a reason to be on your case, then you can do what you want. Until you move out and start living by your own rules you just have to suck it up and redevelop the trust you lost by going on a meth binge.
 
Well if you are living in their house doing about fuckall they kind of run shit.

You could get a job and move out.

You could go to college and get a part time job and use that scholarship and pell grant money to move out.

I suppose you could explain the difference between fruit punch and booze to your father but other than that, I am pretty sure they sound like the type of parents that will call the cops when they find your weed stash.

You can't pick your family and old people resist change. My father was really annoying. Solution, move somewhere else. I moved in with my grandparents my senior year of high school because my father was so horrific to be around. To this day I rarely speak with him.
 
If you're living under their roof then you have to go by their rules. It's frustrating, I know.
Like the others have said, make sure they trust you. Don't give them a reason not to.

I moved out when I was 17 and haven't looked back. My parents weren't that bad though.
 
Be thankful you have parents that care that deeply about your positive transition of becoming a member into our society. Not many do, and quite a few acquaintances from my past are homeless junkies with needles in their arms infected with HIV. Why? Because their parents didn't care how your parents seem to. They let them party and do what they want, and let us kids use drugs in their houses. Their house, their rules. Period. Get used to it, or get a job and move out. If you are living at home for free, you gotta abide by their shit man. Use your time wisely and go to college. Do something positive. Show them you give a shit and are working toward a goal. That's how I got my parents off my back.
 
I'm gonna give you some advice that you might not want to take. It worked for me but I'm an extreme person. I'm an asshole really. Please don't anybody get angry with me.

I was raised with pretty hectic parents myself. My dad was a marine and also a cop for 11 years. My mother was pretty strict too. They were both staunchly against drugs their whole lives. Growing up I'd been pretty sheltered. More so than anybody else I knew. Despite all this, I got my ass whipped quite a bit and was always very stubborn. I never tried any illegal drugs until I was 18, and that drug was pot. Two months after first trying it I finally got caught. My dad went into my room when I was at school and found a bunch of zig-zags with about an eighth of weed. After coming home that day my dad put the fear of God into me and, as a result, I ended up quitting any drug use for a whole year. After graduating high school I became desperate to get out from under my parents so I ended up joining the Air Force.

In the Air Force I went crazy. I was doing ecstasy every weekend and getting caught underage drinking (I was only 20) all the time. Only nine months after joining up I got kicked out. I had to move back in with my extremely disappointed parents.

After coming back home I quickly got a good paying job working at a hospital as a janitor. Two months later I got a car. I started smoking pot pretty regularly again and eventually my parents found a bag in my room. That was a big argument. I was so angry to find out that my parents were still going through my room when I wasn't home. After I turned 21 I really went over the deep end. I started drinking a lot. I also started smoking weed more heavily. Eventually I stopped caring about my parents finding out. I wanted to get back at them for being so nosy by showing them that I didn't give a fuck. I'd drive home completely plastered and covered in puke at 8:00 pm and stumble in through the living room while they were watching TV. I'd smoke out of pop bottle bongs in the shower and leave them on the rack beside the shampoo for my parents to find the next day. My parents had always come into my room without knocking so I started screaming things like "FUCKING KNOCK BEFORE YOU COME IN" every time they did it. One time I was jacking off when my mom came in. I immediately threw the covers over myself before she saw me and then I started screaming at her. She said she didn't have to knock because it's her house so I told her that I was jacking off and to get the fuck out. She just stood there dumbfounded so I started to continue masturbating right in front of her. She slammed the door and that was the last time either of them came into my room without knocking lol. Eventually my parents got used to everything.

Parents can be bad but if you take things up a notch they won't fret over little things anymore. I suggest you rub extremely bad behavior in their faces and desensitize them to it. If they're used to finding drugs all over the house they won't even bother searching your room anymore. Sure, they threatened to call the police but I knew better than that. If the police think you're dealing drugs in the house they can take the house from your parents. My dad being a cop was well aware of this and I knew he wasn't willing to risk it. Also, when my parents started asking for $200 a month I got really mad and told them that I would start selling drugs to cover the cost. My mother got angry and said she would call the police so I grabbed the phone like a smart ass and told her, "Here's the phone bitch. Go ahead. Call them! Just make sure you don't get pulled over one day with quarter pound of weed in your car when you're on your way to work."

Eventually, I did get kicked out. They had a cop come to the house thinking they could just evict me right then and there. Turns out they had to give me thirty days notice and they also had to go get a formal eviction notice. It was the best thing that ever happened to me to be honest. I came to realize I was just being extremely childish by staying at home and getting my way. It would have saved me a lot of heated arguments if I had just moved out after getting my job at the hospital.

One more thing. Anyone with a criminal record that's finding it hard to get a job there are options. I'd just leave the U.S. altogether. It's very easy to go teach English abroad if you're a native speaker. You might have to be at least 20 years old, but it doesn't matter if you have a criminal record or no college degree. All you need in most developing countries to get a good gig as an English teacher is a pulse. They have no way of finding out about your criminal past overseas. I've never been to college but I'm currently in China working 15-20 hours a week for $1,600 a month. I don't pay taxes, my apartment/internet is payed for by my employer, and I don't need a car. I can live very comfortably here on just $300 a month so I save A LOT of money. My contract is up next months and China's a little strict for me so I'll be moving to Cambodia. First though, I'm gonna take a vacation for about three months before I get another teaching job somewhere in Cambodia. If you like heroin Cambodia's the place to be. You can get 90% pure Burmese smack from just about anybody for dirt cheep. A lot of people end up dead that way though. They come over here and treat it like it's that baby laxative with a touch of heroin in it that they used to do back in the States. Me though, I like crystal meth. That's my drug of choice.
 
Dude, it sounds like your parents are having a completely reasonable reaction to your behavior. You are their son, and that is their house. You're only 18 which is basically a child to begin with (yes, a child, in a few years you'll agree with me), and were actually a child less than a year ago, and have already built up enough distrust with your parents regarding your drug use and can only assume other poor behavior. They're probably worried SICK about you man. At this point, they don't know what else to do, they don't want to put you on the street, but just don't know what to do. Your mom probably cries every day about it. Your dad probably goes insane trying to figure out where he went wrong. They probably hug each other in the kitchen every night that you are out, comforting each other, hoping that everything will be OK and that their beloved baby boy will return home in one piece, even if he won't talk to them.

God dammit dude, go hug your poor freaking mom and dad. :X
 
-=SS=- said:
Damned if they do, damned if they don't. My parents tolerated my cannabis smoking.. despite my mum saying "not in my house!". They were too soft.. though slight hypocrisy prevented them from really following though.

Their roof, their rules though. Not much you can do on that. You'll be lucky if you can sway their position even slightly! All I can say is just don't keep shit at home and do it away from the house.
Click to expand...

Mine were like this as well; but I never really abused this, or didn't go crazy with getting high or didn't do it daily, or do it when they were around, and now I don't use any drugs at all.

LivetoSpeed-Your parents just love you and care about you. Remember this.

You said how you're 18. Are your grades and standardized test scores good enough to go away to a college to attend? Or if you want to stay local and save money can you move out with a friend and attend a community college, or local college for two years?
 
I know its annoying but at least your parents care i was either 13 or 14 when my mom walked in on me shooting up pain pills now im an adult and a heroin addict i wish she would have been stricter.
 
Yeah but strictness should only go so far. I've been pretty discriminated against/ostrasized by my family and extended family because of my drug use.
i am all the gossip, out of all the kids and cousins i'm the bad one.
and the shittiest part is my brother and all my cousins have all smoked weed and regularly drink alcohol, (weed in my family is akin to heroin)
but they never got caught or talked about it, so the adults of my family assume i'm the only substance abuser, cuz i got caught. The only drug they know ive used is weed but ive been caught with weed many times so they know im a stoner.
IMO parents should accept cannabis and just regulate it and limit it, or even if they don't allow it they should at least not treat you like a criminal
 
continuing on my last post, i feel like if my dad or mom (they were divorced) had allowed or not it wouldn't have affected how much weed i smoked either way. I was gonna smoke whether they wanted me to or not. But if they allowed it, they could have put restrictions/limits on it and i honestly would have followed them, the only reason i went crazy with it was because i was already breaking rules so why not break them all the time i figured.
Also, them not letting me smoke led me to go on a lot of drives to smoke, driving around getting baked, lighting up in public location, all kinds of sketchy shit.
i would have been safer smoking at home or in the backyard or something.
My friends who had cannabis-friendly households and who were educated that weed isn't bad but it can become problematic if you let it, those are the friends i had who were happier, they didn't feel resented and looked down upon by their own parents. And the freedom to smoke freely didn't turn them into lifetime drug addicts either.
 
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