I had a partner once who was cheating on his husband. Apparently the guy hadnt been having sex with him for years.. and so he wound up moving me into his house. Just skipping some stuff there.
Because Id been like #250 in line or whatever it was in those years, and I saw that he had Grindr on his phone. I knew what was up. I wound up fucking around myself a couple times. One night against all standards otherwise, I HAD to know what was going on. I checked his text messages. There was about 25 different people or so he had been seeing. This guy had been saying he wanted monogamy with me for awhile but I knew what was up. Even though I was cheating myself I was pretty upset. I copied and pasted all the messages into an email and sent it to him.
He denies ever seeing any of these people, but it was obvious. He eventually found out what Id done as well. Long story short, we became open relationship and seeing other people together or seperate with honesty. We moved on by opening up about this.
I have not been (faux) monogamous since. I like meeting multiple people and having different experiences. My last relationship was open as well. Its better that way for me and for the people Im around usually. Gay guys are really promiscous for whatever reason. Often anyway.
I think that if you are having thoughts like this, its within possibility that it would be best to just tell your wife about it. Be open about your sexuality and let her know. You never know, she might even be into the idea of some fun with other people herself. Everybody looks and wants some variety in sexual partners on some level. Its fine. Just be up front about it.