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Help! I'm looking for a new life

Jdangles18 said:
The reason I'm so depressed and wants to start over isn't bc I don't have a lot of friends or don't have a girlfriend , never had a job but it's bc I have a speech impediment . I thought by doing drugs(weed ) that maybe there will be a some little miracle that my speech impedimentt goes away during I'm high . But it didn't it just made things worse . But I keep smoking weed to see if that one time my speech impediment will go away . So now I'm still searching for that drug to make my speech problem disapear for a little . But LSD is probaly not going to make me talk right so it's probaly going to make things worse . But that's the reason I do drugs not bc I want to have a good time but to find that cure for my speech impediment . Sorry I'm just going on about nothing now.
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Dude, I can relate. <3 I'm 21 and have had a severe speech impediment since I was 4. The bad "blocking" type speech impediment. I have had bad social anxiety my whole life and I still do. In high school and early college I was very depressed and did not lead the typical teenage life. I had never had a girlfriend either.

I started using drugs for pleasure, self-discovery, and escape. My early drug using career was mostly driven by pleasure but I started using psychedelics when I was 17 because of the psychological benefits I had started reading about. They did not cure my depression or social anxiety right away, but they did help me accept myself for who I am and just go with the flow. You're in a time of turmoil right now just as I was. The only way to get through it is go with the flow, live your life (as shitty as it may be right now), explore yourself, do what you feel like, and you will come out of it.

All my psychedelic experiences were solo, I never tripped with people. Psychedelics helped me find myself. They didn't fix anything overnight, not by a longshot, but it's the "finding of yourself" that will fix your problems and psychedelics help with that.

I still have my speech impediment, as bad as ever. I'm not a terribly social person, but at the same time I'm not afraid to be social. I used to be. I still feel awkward when I stutter in front of people I don't know, but I don't dwell on it like I used to, I just forget about it and go with the flow. If people don't want to hang out with me because I stutter or think I'm uncool, they can go on and walk. You don't need people like that.

I will say that I have used MDMA with people before (but not the first few experiences, those were special and they were solo). When I used MDMA with people the experience wasn't so much spiritual but the anxiety-free state MDMA provides gave me a few hours of complete speech fluency. The stutter comes right back when I came down though. Don't think of using MDMA on a regular basis to cure your speech impediment, it will cause you much harm, and in the end won't work anymore. MDMA is a "once a month tops" kind of thing. Those few hours of fluency to show you a "window" of what fluent life is like though.

If you cannot find MDMA crystal where you are you might have to resort to buying ecstasy pills (this was my situation). If you do this make sure you use http://www.pillreports.com and a testing kit. It is absolutely necessary. Anything besides MDMA in an ecstasy pill will not help you in the slightest and will probably make things worse in the long run.

You're about to embark on an incredible journey of self-discovery that could take a while. Don't rush it, time is the only thing that will help. Psychedelics will catalyze your self-discovery but ultimately it will take time.

If you ever want to talk about anything don't hesitate to send me a PM. I wish you the best of luck in your journey my friend. :)
 
mdmantpa said:
Also I dont know your exact circumstances but why not go to speech therapy? If it bothers you that much than try to work on correcting it.

I know it must be hard but people who are going to be real friends or even worth having in your life will not like you any less because of the way your talk, they should like you for the wonderful person I bet you are on the inside. I dont know if you are religious at all but many great men have had speech impediments, even Moses, and he led his people out of captivity and he was mocked for his speech problems, until all the people saw how great he was on the inside.
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Just thought I'd add this. About speech therapy, I've been in and out of it during my life and I can safely say (for me anyway) that it doesn't work. It's all about using a whole bunch of verbal "tricks" like putting a huge "H" sound at the beginning of every word that begins with a vowel, or excessively softening "P" or "B" sounds, or extending and amplifying "S" sounds. It's all very superficial and doesn't work in the real world. It's very fake and a lot of people (including me) and psychologists claim that it just makes the problem worse.

About the Moses thing, being mocked your whole life for having a speech impediment certainly has the tendency to cultivate a strong "soul" I guess you could say.

Jdangles18 said:
Thanks dude. I know that real friends won't care but it's just I'm so self consious about the way I talk so I try not saying the things I can't say. And by doing that it makes me a really quiet boy . They don't think I'm weird bc I talk funny but bc I'm so quiet I seem retarded. I never been this miserable untill this year(senior year) bc I guess high school is over and I don't know what to do after hs . And your right No one will no I have a speech impediment bc I'm typing .that's how I talk to the few girls is by texting .I'm just like every normal boy now when it comes to typing LOL :)
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I substitute words all the time. There's just sounds that are hard to make and in conversation I always think of words I can substitute in for a hard one or rearrange the sentence in some elaborate way. People with speech impediments tend to cultivate a very strong vocabulary because of this, I know I have.

The great thing about internet communication is that right there. It's all typing. Lately BL has really helped me be social by providing me a place where I can say what I want whenever I want, it's really helped me a lot. Gotta love typing. The people make it nice too. I love PD for this reason.
Such a nice place to hang out. :) <3
 
I agree that crystal MDMA would be a great choice for a first psychedelic, but its not always the easiest commodity to locate -- when I was in high school I was lucky to find pills, much less molly; not to mention that molly is also pretty expensive. Logistically, if you can locate a tab or two of LSD that makes much more sense, as individual tabs aren't expensive.

Psychedelics won't give you a better life though; all they will do is give you a new perspective on the life you already have. :)
 
^MDMA can be almost as cheap per dose as LSD depending on where you are. Some parts of the world, it's dirt cheap. It's not a horribly expensive or difficult chemical to make.

I wouldn't call MDMA a genuine psychedelic though. It can either be treated as a psychedelic or a stimulant-euphoriant depending on how the person approaches it, and possibly how their own brain is wired. Some people treat MDMA the same way they would an amphetamine. Also, some people are more inclined to get a severe crash or depression from it, and some people aren't. I always felt better afterwards.

As far as psychedelics go, though, there is better stuff out there in my opinion.
 
if people don't want to hang out with me because i stutter or think i'm uncool, they can go on and walk. You don't need people like that.
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Quoted for TRUTH. <3
 
uniter said:
Dude, I can relate. <3 I'm 21 and have had a severe speech impediment since I was 4. The bad "blocking" type speech impediment. I have had bad social anxiety my whole life and I still do. In high school and early college I was very depressed and did not lead the typical teenage life. I had never had a girlfriend either.

I started using drugs for pleasure, self-discovery, and escape. My early drug using career was mostly driven by pleasure but I started using psychedelics when I was 17 because of the psychological benefits I had started reading about. They did not cure my depression or social anxiety right away, but they did help me accept myself for who I am and just go with the flow. You're in a time of turmoil right now just as I was. The only way to get through it is go with the flow, live your life (as shitty as it may be right now), explore yourself, do what you feel like, and you will come out of it.

All my psychedelic experiences were solo, I never tripped with people. Psychedelics helped me find myself. They didn't fix anything overnight, not by a longshot, but it's the "finding of yourself" that will fix your problems and psychedelics help with that.

I still have my speech impediment, as bad as ever. I'm not a terribly social person, but at the same time I'm not afraid to be social. I used to be. I still feel awkward when I stutter in front of people I don't know, but I don't dwell on it like I used to, I just forget about it and go with the flow. If people don't want to hang out with me because I stutter or think I'm uncool, they can go on and walk. You don't need people like that.

I will say that I have used MDMA with people before (but not the first few experiences, those were special and they were solo). When I used MDMA with people the experience wasn't so much spiritual but the anxiety-free state MDMA provides gave me a few hours of complete speech fluency. The stutter comes right back when I came down though. Don't think of using MDMA on a regular basis to cure your speech impediment, it will cause you much harm, and in the end won't work anymore. MDMA is a "once a month tops" kind of thing. Those few hours of fluency to show you a "window" of what fluent life is like though.

If you cannot find MDMA crystal where you are you might have to resort to buying ecstasy pills (this was my situation). If you do this make sure you use http://www.pillreports.com and a testing kit. It is absolutely necessary. Anything besides MDMA in an ecstasy pill will not help you in the slightest and will probably make things worse in the long run.

You're about to embark on an incredible journey of self-discovery that could take a while. Don't rush it, time is the only thing that will help. Psychedelics will catalyze your self-discovery but ultimately it will take time.

If you ever want to talk about anything don't hesitate to send me a PM. I wish you the best of luck in your journey my friend. :)
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Wow dude thanks . U sound like u went though the same things I'm going though . And I hope that I'll come out positive like you.
 
Jdangles18 said:
And your right I don't have anything to lose bc my life already sucks .
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I would recommend that you don't use these powerful substances in that state of mind. It could really mess you up if it gets amplified. You can't expect drugs too fix all your problems, that is the wrong way to go about this and that is what causes addiction. Try to change your environment first, as well as your mind set. You sound like you may have low self esteem or could even be in a light depression. Talk with someone, I think that people give you the best high if you can bond with them and the drugs just up that.

LSD, Mushrooms, even MDMA can be hell if your not in the right mind set or with the right people.
 
Honestly, sometimes psychedelics can be pretty shattering to your sense of self and the way you identify yourself according to the world around you. I'd say wait until you feel good about yourself and the situation you're in until you delve into psychedelics.
 
Drugs aren't going to fix any of your problems. You need to approach these problems head on and change them.

If you don't have many friends, go find some friends who share the same interests with you outside of drugs.

If you aren't getting any pussy or can't have a real relationship with a girl, start accepting who you are and love yourself. Once you've done that, you'll be happier and you'll notice that it is easier to socialize, though it will still take work.

If you are lazy, then stop being lazy. Find new study habits. Experiment and find what works for you.

Nothing is going to be a instant cure. Drugs sure as hell won't fix your life. If you are doing them for therapy I feel you are better off trying to find a therapist who will guide you in a psychedelic session. More realistically you should just find a therapist who will help guide you through your life's problems with out the use of drugs. Its going to be some work if you are actually going to try and solve your problems, but i'll be worth it in the end.

I'm currently working through a lot of what you've mentioned and yeah its rough, and it really sucks. However, since I've started working on my problems I've been improving and I've slowly become more happy with my life, can socialize a little better, are talking to more girls, etc.

Good luck.
 
Cloudy said:
Drugs aren't going to fix any of your problems. You need to approach these problems head on and change them.

I know that drugs aren't going to fix my problems but if u had a speech impediment like me then u would understand why i am the way i am. U may think its just a small problem and that if i get help then i could improve my talking but its not that simple. But trust me i rather be color blind or missing a finger or two then have a speech impediment.

If you don't have many friends, go find some friends who share the same interests with you outside of drugs.

Kinda hard when your anti social bc of your speech impediment. The only thing i love to do is play ice hockey . When im on the ice i don't think about anything but dangling and scoring . That my drug to get my mind off of things. But even when im on my hockey team im a quiet player.

If you aren't getting any pussy or can't have a real relationship with a girl, start accepting who you are and love yourself. Once you've done that, you'll be happier and you'll notice that it is easier to socialize, though it will still take work.

I can get pussy bc my sorta friend sister is always saying she wants to eff me and girls at my school say they want to eff me but i always pussy out. Why bc im gonna half to do some talking b4 , during , after sex. I wanna love my self but its hard.

If you are lazy, then stop being lazy. Find new study habits. Experiment and find what works for you.

I know i plan on looking for a job next week but im always saying that.

Nothing is going to be a instant cure. Drugs sure as hell won't fix your life. If you are doing them for therapy I feel you are better off trying to find a therapist who will guide you in a psychedelic session. More realistically you should just find a therapist who will help guide you through your life's problems with out the use of drugs. Its going to be some work if you are actually going to try and solve your problems, but i'll be worth it in the end.

I need a therapist i know but first im going to half to come out and tell my family why i am the way i am and that's hard. All they think is im a spoiler brat that gets everything he wants . But they have no clue i hate life bc of my SI.

I'm currently working through a lot of what you've mentioned and yeah its rough, and it really sucks. However, since I've started working on my problems I've been improving and I've slowly become more happy with my life, can socialize a little better, are talking to more girls, etc.

I hope i come out on top but your right im going to half to try instead of trying drugs.
Good luck.

The message is to short but its bc i gave u answers.
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Hey man, I guarantee that you'll find great people who will love you for who you are despite flaws. :) It might take time though, and it might necessitate venturing out of your comfort-zone and really laying it all out on the line. Good people do exist, though. And anyone who judges you for how you speak isn't worth a single spoken word anyway.

Additionally there's a whole buncha love floating around here in PD, so stick around. :) <3
 
JDangles, can I ask- what is your speech impediment? I'm not just being a nosy cunt, but would like to know what it is that is bothering you so much....:)
 
I'm just gonna let you know, I also have a speech impediment. Maybe not as bad as you, but I have an idea of what you are talking about. So speech impediment or not, you will still have to accept who you are and understand that this who you are going to live with for the rest of your life. You might as well start to love who you are, and that will help get over some of your antisocial tendency's. You can't keep yourself down with blaming your problems on other shit, especially when they aren't necessarily something you can change.

I really can't say this enough, just love yourself man. It is something I just realized I never really did, and I feel so much better about my life.

Goodluck
 
If you want to become more social try E man. Have some fun social friends take you to a club and go take like 2 tabs and i bet you will come out of your shell. most people do!
 
drumzplaya13 said:
If you want to become more social try E man. Have some fun social friends take you to a club and go take like 2 tabs and i bet you will come out of your shell. most people do!
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maybe he will come out of his shell in short term, but that isn't a solution for a long term thing (aka the rest of his live)
 
first let me just ask. i heard escasy contains herion . is this true? Anyways my speech impediment i dont know what its called but i cant pronouce certain words like for example i cant say world,girl,swirl,earl, narly,carly , murder, etc . By not pronoucing word s right i always eff up on sentences . so ill eaither say what im about to say and ill start to say it then just stop saying what i was about to say. so by not talking alot made my speech worse as time went by.
 
Ecstasy most certainly doesn't contain heroin - can guarantee that 100%. Unfortunately, a lot of other drugs are passed off as ecstasy (amphetamines, DXM, piperazines and so on) and you don't want those. Look into buying a testing kit - there's a linky at the top of the BL page, although it's down at the moment. They are widely available online and, as far as I know, they are legal to buy anywhere in the world and an excellent investment so you can have an idea of what you are putting into your body.

Crystal MDMA ("molly") would be better, but is much harder to find in some places. Ecstasy pills are fine just so long as you test them to make sure they're the real deal. Check out the Ecstasy Discussion to learn more about the drug, test kits and to get an idea of the effects :)
 
Just wanted to say that I've heard reports of ecstasy overuse causing speech problems. Its not an uncommon side-effect of heavy use. If you decide to go that route, make sure you keep your use to an absolute minimum. Truthfully, though, I think you need to work through this stuff without drugs.
 
Roger&Me said:
Truthfully, though, I think you need to work through this stuff without drugs.
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This is true. Should have mentioned that myself. Drugs can help some people if used with caution, but they can also make things very much worse without that caution. No magic bullets in drugworld - would love a pill that could fix all the things I'd like fixed in my life, but it's not going to happen. Unfortunately :D

For me it helped with some things greatly, but also caused many problems at times. For me the positives outweigh the negatives. For others they don't.
 
If you decide to munch some L if you find it let us know how it goes ;p But here is something for you to chew on until then, a way to solve your problems without drugs, if you want to solve your problems, you may need some tanks.
infowars.com
prisonplanet.com
 
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