I'ld like to hear from anyone who uses an opioid to fight depression.

[DeathIndustrial88]

Using any recrarional drug that is reinforcing (ie addictive)

Is a horrible way to a manage depression that will likely make you end up far more depressed and with a whole new world of problems in addition to the depression

I disagree in one aspect.

The only opioid that stopped helping my depression in the long run was buprenorphine.
Yet even after 7 years, it still helps to a slight degree to keep me from un-aliving myself some days. Where as normally I would be ready to die 24/7.
Yet I never had that issue on full agonists.

Sure I can get sad or down some times while on full agonists, but I still experience a wide array of emotions on them, unlike the flattened emotions I get from SSRI's or even bupe. But feeling a little sad or down isn't anything like an actual depression disorder.
I'm talking genuine depression where even just speaking some days is exhausting & you basically feel like an old family dog that needs to be taken out back & put out of it's misery, every day. That's how I feel every day normally. But on full agonists, I actually experience positive thinking/emotions & I enjoy getting my body moving & being productive. I also become more in tuned with my emotions on full agonists (mostly diacetylmorphine). These are all wonderful qualities from a drug that can enhance people's quality of life greatly.

Of course if you're depressed & pick up a habit & then eventually can't get your medicine or supply, then I absolutely agree with you.
However, if a depressed person did an addictive drug & ran out, they might be severely depressed during the initial withdrawal phase, like suicidal-depressed even, but after the withdrawal, you'll basically go back to being depressed like you were before.

So I get where you're coming from but depending on the drug & circumstances, I could say that some addictive drugs are absolutely the best antidepressants, as long as you have access to them.

The idea of people that abuse alcohol think themselves above any other type of addict is delusional to me.

They are so lost in this aspect that they had to seperate themselves from NA. By having AA and NA as separate things

The alcoholics in AA can’t even say the words “ I am a drug addict” which is exactly what they are. They never even made it past step 1.

Granted AA where I live is full of plenty of poly drug addicts where alcohol was the worst one for them so they understand; but even within the addict world this separation of a drug as hard as alcohol from all other drugs as being “less hard” is straight up delusional.

You would think in the recovery world they would ba w the balls to say to alcoholics that you are a drug addict just like a cocaine addict is a drug addict; even within that world they can’t. So in society where everyone is an alcohol abuser, forget it

Great observation! I never actually thought of it that way. "

But you're right. Alcoholics don't get treated as seriously as other users either.

I've already lost my oldest sister to alcohol induced-liver failure. And I'm currently watching other people I know & care about drink themselves to death on a daily basis. Some of these people have told me that if they just had access to diacetylmorphine or an opioid they could quit drinking. And I completely empathize with that because opioids keep me from drinking as well.

I think it's absolutely criminal that people can't legally take & use diacetylmorphine & full agonists for a variety of reasons. Now a days you're lucky to even get anything if you come out of surgery. The opioid-phobia in the US is insane. And IMO it's intentionally been twisted this way in order to make Americans (along with the rest of the world) give up their bodily autonomy in exchange for "safety" from the big bad "scary" drugs out there, some which a lot less harmful than alcohol & tobacco. It's all a ruse meant to get people to accept having their freedom taken & to think it's okay to punish anyone who partakes in anything other than alcohol. It's absurd.

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

I get fibro & depression pain so bad most days that just carrying my laundry or trimming my facial hair takes all the energy I have.

That feeling that you get the next day after an intense work out, where all your muscles feel sore & fatigued...
Well I feel that way everyday, even without working out. Maybe not to the exact same severity in degree of pain/ache, but enough that it makes me uncomfortable everyday & ruins my mood & ability to enjoy anything.

Let alone trying to shop, take care of errands and do all the other BS life throws at you.


Yet on heroin, I get up & start scrubbing floors, cleaning house, organizing, exercising, having positive thoughts & feeling more sensual and caring about everything around me. And these effects never go away no matter how long I use it.


Everyone is different though. But even my mom told me she preferred me on heroin than on alcohol or other drugs because alcohol made me even more suicidal & it even turned me into a violent asshole. Yet when she was around me on H, she even noticed a drastic difference in my quality of life.

The last thing my mom gave me for my birthday before she died was a handful of pain pills. Cause she knew I benefited from them that much.


So I stand by the idea that alcohol being legal while heroin is not, is absolutely a crime against humanity.
My quality of life would be so much better if I could legally use it every day to fight off my pain & depression. I'd finally be able to do everything normal people do & more. Not to mention the heroin "high" is nothing like the intoxication from alcohol or even weed, so it's not like it's messing with my judgement or "fucking me uppp brooo" like other shit does. I've never had a bad time on opioids & have never overdosed or anything either. And I have about 15+ years of using behind me now. It needs to be legalized & adults allowed to make their own choices. Nobody should have to die from fentanyl or have their flesh fall off from xylazine just because they sought out a way to alleviate their pain & suffering.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

I disagree in one aspect.

The only opioid that stopped helping my depression in the long run was buprenorphine.
Yet even after 7 years, it still helps to a slight degree to keep me from un-aliving myself some days. Where as normally I would be ready to die 24/7.
Yet I never had that issue on full agonists.

Sure I can get sad or down some times while on full agonists, but I still experience a wide array of emotions on them, unlike the flattened emotions I get from SSRI's or even bupe. But feeling a little sad or down isn't anything like an actual depression disorder.
I'm talking genuine depression where even just speaking some days is exhausting & you basically feel like an old family dog that needs to be taken out back & put out of it's misery, every day. That's how I feel every day normally. But on full agonists, I actually experience positive thinking/emotions & I enjoy getting my body moving & being productive. I also become more in tuned with my emotions on full agonists (mostly diacetylmorphine). These are all wonderful qualities from a drug that can enhance people's quality of life greatly.

Of course if you're depressed & pick up a habit & then eventually can't get your medicine or supply, then I absolutely agree with you.
However, if a depressed person did an addictive drug & ran out, they might be severely depressed during the initial withdrawal phase, like suicidal-depressed even, but after the withdrawal, you'll basically go back to being depressed like you were before.

So I get where you're coming from but depending on the drug & circumstances, I could say that some addictive drugs are absolutely the best antidepressants, as long as you have access to them.



Great observation! I never actually thought of it that way. "

But you're right. Alcoholics don't get treated as seriously as other users either.

I've already lost my oldest sister to alcohol induced-liver failure. And I'm currently watching other people I know & care about drink themselves to death on a daily basis. Some of these people have told me that if they just had access to diacetylmorphine or an opioid they could quit drinking. And I completely empathize with that because opioids keep me from drinking as well.

I think it's absolutely criminal that people can't legally take & use diacetylmorphine & full agonists for a variety of reasons. Now a days you're lucky to even get anything if you come out of surgery. The opioid-phobia in the US is insane. And IMO it's intentionally been twisted this way in order to make Americans (along with the rest of the world) give up their bodily autonomy in exchange for "safety" from the big bad "scary" drugs out there, some which a lot less harmful than alcohol & tobacco. It's all a ruse meant to get people to accept having their freedom taken & to think it's okay to punish anyone who partakes in anything other than alcohol. It's absurd.

It may. It have been the initial intention or it might have very well been; the opioid crackdown is meant to kill millions on purpose with fentanyl.

Mostly it’s killing the disabled, the chronically ill, and the chronically mentally ill (serious drug addicts); ppl that generally don’t pay taxes and take welfare related resources. Fentanyl is the governments way of legally murdering them all and having most of the population approve of it….until of course it’s their dumbass kid that popped and E pill at a rave that contained a PVP and enough fentanyl to kill 10 adults….then it’s different and we need to arrest a bunch of medical doctors treating the disabled to make up for their dipshit kids and the diptshit drug war policies responsible for their kids overdose

After all that they still don’t get it and have to bury their grief and mourning by having legitimate doctors helping ppl maintain quality of life, families and jobs thrown into prison. As if that will somehow help their dead asshole kid that died from taking 4 fentanyl laced e pills at once without testing them and zero doctors were involved in any of it.

It’s enough ignorance and rage at the status quo to make me want to scream

 

[Jnowhere]

Problem isn't alcohol. It is the abuse and the vast majority of drinkers can handle it. Besides beer and wine are legit beverages.
Only a small percentage of long time drinkers have a problem. Then you have the really fucked up ones like I use to be. There is a difference. Just like I can handle my perscription opiods( oxycodone) and morphine er 24/7; when pain lessened I quit( morpine) no issues. My tolerance has only recent gone up after about7-8 years on Oxycodone.
Benzos 7 years, no issues but my script of gabapentin may be causing issues with tolerance. My doctor told me he can't under state law do more( my state is Blue, democat governor and the state helped elect Biden.)
Normal people can have drinks in moderation their whole lives. Never heard of anyone who could do just smoke crack in moderation for decades.(poly-drugusers aside) Say what ever lies you want but this country would not function if 10's of millions were on crack. If 10's of millions were on fentanyl. Nicotine is the most universally addictive drug. The vast majority of people who use alcohol don't end up alky's. Alcohol was like heroin and crack to me; I am the exception. But people almost never have control of crack, meth, or heroin after decades of use. They are not casual users of hard drugs for decades the way people are with alcohol. ( aka social drinkers)
William S Burroughs said it best( yes I still can't find my copy of Junky) but as he put it junk( heroin) is not like Marijuana or alcohol; a way to increase the enjoyment of life. Junk is a way of life. Or something close. Yes a small percentage of the hugh numbers of drinkers can't handle it.( there are functional alky's and people completely a mess on alcohol, like me) but not the way other drugs are. They are different.
There is a weird irony. Perscrition opiates and benzos are used be me in moderation and with self control that few over 7+ years could handle. A low dose still helps me. I don't run out and I don't abuse. I forget to take them but am reminded by pain or a little nausea.
I am probably in the minority on that. Just like I was in the minority of people who cannot handle alcohol( Thank you almighty God I am allergic now to booze)(horrible uncontrollable itchy skin and I throw up trying to have a beer). There is a difference. However those who have the alcoholic gene are the problem usually. Drug abuse( not weed) can happen to much greater % of population if they use enough times.

 

[polarthedog]

I get fibro & depression pain so bad most days that just carrying my laundry or trimming my facial hair takes all the energy I have.

That feeling that you get the next day after an intense work out, where all your muscles feel sore & fatigued...
Well I feel that way everyday, even without working out. Maybe not to the exact same severity in degree of pain/ache, but enough that it makes me uncomfortable everyday & ruins my mood & ability to enjoy anything.

Let alone trying to shop, take care of errands and do all the other BS life throws at you.


Yet on heroin, I get up & start scrubbing floors, cleaning house, organizing, exercising, having positive thoughts & feeling more sensual and caring about everything around me. And these effects never go away no matter how long I use it.


Everyone is different though. But even my mom told me she preferred me on heroin than on alcohol or other drugs because alcohol made me even more suicidal & it even turned me into a violent asshole. Yet when she was around me on H, she even noticed a drastic difference in my quality of life.

The last thing my mom gave me for my birthday before she died was a handful of pain pills. Cause she knew I benefited from them that much.


So I stand by the idea that alcohol being legal while heroin is not, is absolutely a crime against humanity.
My quality of life would be so much better if I could legally use it every day to fight off my pain & depression. I'd finally be able to do everything normal people do & more. Not to mention the heroin "high" is nothing like the intoxication from alcohol or even weed, so it's not like it's messing with my judgement or "fucking me uppp brooo" like other shit does. I've never had a bad time on opioids & have never overdosed or anything either. And I have about 15+ years of using behind me now. It needs to be legalized & adults allowed to make their own choices. Nobody should have to die from fentanyl or have their flesh fall off from xylazine just because they sought out a way to alleviate their pain & suffering.

Agreed, I have a very similar situation going on, opiates and dxm every day really makes my life better

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

It may. It have been the initial intention or it might have very well been; the opioid crackdown is meant to kill millions on purpose with fentanyl.

Mostly it’s killing the disabled, the chronically ill, and the chronically mentally ill (serious drug addicts); ppl that generally don’t pay taxes and take welfare related resources. Fentanyl is the governments way of legally murdering them all and having most of the population approve of it….until of course it’s their dumbass kid that popped and E pill at a rave that contained a PVP and enough fentanyl to kill 10 adults….then it’s different and we need to arrest a bunch of medical doctors treating the disabled to make up for their dipshit kids and the diptshit drug war policies responsible for their kids overdose

After all that they still don’t get it and have to bury their grief and mourning by having legitimate doctors helping ppl maintain quality of life, families and jobs thrown into prison. As if that will somehow help their dead asshole kid that died from taking 4 fentanyl laced e pills at once without testing them and zero doctors were involved in any of it.

It’s enough ignorance and rage at the status quo to make me want to scream

Couldn't agree more with you here.

I do believe there is an agenda to kill addicts/poor & disabled sick people.

All the opioid-phobia in the US is coming from the govt pushing propaganda & using the ignorance of the masses to their advantage.

I wanna be able to live my life in peace, but of course that would be a crime & a "moral failing" on my part apparently. Plus it's only possible if I were rich & had a constant connect. Of course those at the top with lots of money & resources don't have to follow the same laws as the rest of us.

This whole topic & all this hypocrisy really boils my blood. I get upset about it at least daily & have for years. I wish there was something I could do to change the current state of things.

It's so hard getting people to understand pain & mental illness too, cause if people can't see that you're sick on the outside, they're less likely to believe that you actually are & just assume you're a whiny junkie who wants to get high. And even if that were the case, so what? People like to get drunk too but nobody shames them for it like we do junkies & other drug users.


I hope everyone here has a wonderful & peaceful Christmas!

Cheers & hope to a better future my friends! A future where people using opiates is normalized (again).

 

[DesertHarp]

I think the majority of people don't need to be on antidepressants, particularly after this revelation that low serotonin isn't actually associated with depression after all. They only have a 15% efficacy rate, which is probably the lowest in all of pharma.

I've been on a few and like you said the side effects outweigh the minimal effectiveness. I think some amount of placebo is baked into their design.

When I was in my 20s I learned that I don't have neurological depression, it's psychological. Simply going for a jog and getting something accomplished, or even facing something I'm scared of, completely eliminates my depression.

Basically forcing myself to do things I don't want to cures my depression. Sometimes people just look at things the wrong way; "I'm depressed because I'm single and lovely" vs "I'm depressed because I don't want to put in the effort and anxiety of flirting/dating". That's how I look at it at least in my life.

Everyone is different, though. They do save lives and help people. It's just not something that helps me. People love to absolutely hate on big pharma, but it does help a lot of people.

It does bother me that they don't ever try figure out if your depression is neurological, psychological, or psychosomatic. They just throw pills at you. It's a racket, but so far a lot of things in the US pharmaceutical industry.

Ketamine and amphetamines are way better antidepressant when taken responsibly in therapeutic doses.

I think the newish field of "neuro-psychiatry" considers all psych problems as neurological. I'm not a big fan of that kind of thinking. I knew someone who cried a lot, after he had a stroke. That would be my idea of a mood disorder, rooted in a neurological problem. Mostly, I think depression is psychological. I'm not at all surprised that they seem to keep finding out that antidepressants are mostly no better than placebos.

In the '70s, a psychiatrist told me that depression is either "endogenous" or "exogenous." That seemed to try and sort out whether depression was rooted in neurological brain dysfunction or caused by an external circumstance. Doctors aren't really in a position to know that sort of thing, so they glibly talk about genetic vulnerability acted upon by situational stress, thus covering all the bases.

My depression is helped by the same kind of things that you describe. One doctor told me about "atypical depression," which is actually considered the most common form. The person tends to perk up when they get positive social feedback, like praise.

Whatever the cause, a depressed person wants relief. Forcing yourself to accomplish something is a good strategy, IMO. Right now, though, I am not succeeding with that approach. So I want a drug. I have hydrocodone tablets. It's tempting to eat several of them. But I'm too scared of running out too soon and having withdrawal. I'm wondering about ketamine.

 

[Fiori di Bella]

I've started a few threads already. I'm starting this one to introduce myself, which I didn't do before.

I take hydrocodone for back pain. I get 60 tablets each month. (What I get is called Vicodin - hydrocodone and acetaminophen - 10/325.) That's my only supply. It's prescribed legally. Much of the time, my back pain isn't a big issue. Often, the real reason I keep taking these pills is to feel better mentally. I suffer from depression. I've been to shrinks about it and tried all kinds of psych meds. Nothing they prescibe does much. I function okay.

It seems like my life revolves around these pills. Basically, I take one every twelve hours. I'm obsessed with these pills. I count the hours until I can take another one. Sometimes, when the depression is bad, I don't wait the twelve hours. If I run out of pills before the month is up, I pay a price. If I go 36 hours without a pill, I start to have withdrawal. For me that is "restless leg syndrome." I would call it akathisia because it is round the clock. It's torture, so I mostly space out my pills to last the whole month.
At times, I think of suicide to escape the depression. I feel like these tablets are the best thing I have going for me. Yesterday, I took two tablets at the same time because I was having a miserable time with severe depression. That 20 mg of hydrocodone was like getting a glass of water in the desert. It helped a lot.

I wonder if anyone else here finds that using an opioid relieves depression. I don't discuss this with any doctor. I figure that would be the fastest way to lose this prescription that I value so much.

I always have to fight the temptation to use up my tablets ahead of schedule because I don't want to face withdrawal.

I'm trying to find a way to feel better without using up my tablets too soon. I'm thinking of trying edible cannabis. I don't find alcohol helpful, so I'm not much of a drinker.

I feel you.

I’m prescribed 120 20mg Oxycodone each month and I have completely stopped taking my SNRI. I don’t feel it makes me feel better than I do with the Oxies.

If I ever run out of Oxies I turn to Kratom, I’m actually enjoying some now. But the trick is to find the right dosage and formula for you. I couldn’t handle the capsules, they’re giant and I’d often barf them up. Instead I mix a heaping tablespoon of powdered Kratom with Diet Pepsi and shake it up, the contents are under a lot of pressure after shaking so I open the bottle and let it sit a few minutes before I drink it. I will drink this up to 3 times a day.

I love the plant/earth taste, whereas my boyfriend buys liquid Kratom and other formulas that disguise the flavor as he doesn’t like it as much as I do.

 

[DesertHarp]

I think the majority of people don't need to be on antidepressants, particularly after this revelation that low serotonin isn't actually associated with depression after all. They only have a 15% efficacy rate, which is probably the lowest in all of pharma.

I've been on a few and like you said the side effects outweigh the minimal effectiveness. I think some amount of placebo is baked into their design.

When I was in my 20s I learned that I don't have neurological depression, it's psychological. Simply going for a jog and getting something accomplished, or even facing something I'm scared of, completely eliminates my depression.

Basically forcing myself to do things I don't want to cures my depression. Sometimes people just look at things the wrong way; "I'm depressed because I'm single and lovely" vs "I'm depressed because I don't want to put in the effort and anxiety of flirting/dating". That's how I look at it at least in my life.

Everyone is different, though. They do save lives and help people. It's just not something that helps me. People love to absolutely hate on big pharma, but it does help a lot of people.

It does bother me that they don't ever try figure out if your depression is neurological, psychological, or psychosomatic. They just throw pills at you. It's a racket, but so far a lot of things in the US pharmaceutical industry.

Ketamine and amphetamines are way better antidepressant when taken responsibly in therapeutic doses.

I think the newish field of "neuro-psychiatry" considers all psych problems as neurological. I'm not a big fan of that kind of thinking. I knew someone who cried a lot, after he had a stroke. That would be my idea of a mood disorder, rooted in a neurological problem. Mostly, I think depression is psychological. I'm not at all surprised that they seem to keep finding out that antidepressants are mostly no better than placebos.

In the '70s, a psychiatrist told me that depression is either "endogenous" or "exogenous." That seemed to try and sort out whether depression was rooted in neurological brain dysfunction or caused by an external circumstance. Doctors aren't really in a position to know that sort of thing, so they glibly talk about genetic vulnerability acted upon by situational stress, thus covering all the bases.

My depression is helped by the same kind of things that you describe. One doctor told me about "atypical depression," which is actually considered the most common form. The person tends to perk up when they get positive social feedback, like praise.

Whatever the cause, a depressed person wants relief. Forcing yourself to accomplish something is a good strategy, IMO. Right now, though, I am not succeeding with that approach. So I want a drug. I have hydrocodone tablets. It's tempting to eat several of them. But I'm too scared of running out too soon and having withdrawal. I'm wondering about ketamine.

 

[DesertHarp]

I feel you.

I’m prescribed 120 20mg Oxycodone each month and I have completely stopped taking my SNRI. I don’t feel it makes me feel better than I do with the Oxies.

If I ever run out of Oxies I turn to Kratom, I’m actually enjoying some now. But the trick is to find the right dosage and formula for you. I couldn’t handle the capsules, they’re giant and I’d often barf them up. Instead I mix a heaping tablespoon of powdered Kratom with Diet Pepsi and shake it up, the contents are under a lot of pressure after shaking so I open the bottle and let it sit a few minutes before I drink it. I will drink this up to 3 times a day.

I love the plant/earth taste, whereas my boyfriend buys liquid Kratom and other formulas that disguise the flavor as he doesn’t like it as much as I do.

That's good that you have something that works for you. I agree with your boyfriend, regarding the taste of kratom. I've got some capsules, but they don't much interest me.

I've already been going through my Vicodin (hydrocodone) at an accelerated rate. So I'm getting scared of depleting my supply too soon and having withdrawal.

So I took none so far today. (Trying to save up.) So now I'm debating whether to pop one. I'm so tolerant, there's not the lift I used to get. It would be better to save up and take 3 together. I might actually feel that. But I can't wait that long.

It's Christmas. I'm alone. I should have made other plans, but I didn't. I screwed up. Now I'm in a bad funk. I should have volunteered at a feed-the-homeless site. I didn't bother . . . so here I am, getting what I deserve. This state of mind feels crummy. There's alcohol in the house. I don't want it. I want hydrocodone . . . enough that I can feel.

SNRIs did nothing for me. I'm sorry for whatever condition that has caused your doctor to give you that much oxy. I hope it helps. Enjoy the Pepsi and kratom.

 

[Fiori di Bella]

Kratom works wonders at preventing the whole withdrawal cycle. If you run out of your hydrocodone prior to the refill date, Kratom really truly works. I’m on a much stronger opiate than you are and I have been taking them nonstop for 20+ years. I have felt withdrawals and they’re absolutely awful.

I was highly skeptical of Kratom as a WD preventative measure because based upon everything I read, to completely prevent WDs, I needed a combination of drugs that generally included benzos, loperamide, gabapentin and an rx allergy med. The average person doesn’t have all those in their medicine cabinet.

It took several attempts for me to get on board with Kratom. I initially hated the taste, I couldn’t swallow the huge capsules, I didn’t know how much to take, etc. But to be quite honest, it’s been a lifesaver.

Do search Bluelight for opiate withdrawals and see if you can assemble your own kit of necessary meds for the prevention or treatment of withdrawal symptoms. It can definitely be done, it’s just a little time consuming and you’ll have to be resourceful to get all the meds you’ll need.

Once you’ve gone through withdrawals you will likely be more mindful with your pill consumption. As good as they make you feel, it’s how bad you will feel if you’re in withdrawals that you will really remember.

 

[polarthedog]

Once you’ve gone through withdrawals you will likely be more mindful with your pill consumption. As good as they make you feel, it’s how bad you will feel if you’re in withdrawals that you will really remember.

I disagree, the human mind tends to try to remember the good times and forget the bad times. The high will almost always be a more prominent memory, this is one of the reasons addicts have such a tough time not going back.

 

[DesertHarp]

Kratom works wonders at preventing the whole withdrawal cycle. If you run out of your hydrocodone prior to the refill date, Kratom really truly works. I’m on a much stronger opiate than you are and I have been taking them nonstop for 20+ years. I have felt withdrawals and they’re absolutely awful.

I was highly skeptical of Kratom as a WD preventative measure because based upon everything I read, to completely prevent WDs, I needed a combination of drugs that generally included benzos, loperamide, gabapentin and an rx allergy med. The average person doesn’t have all those in their medicine cabinet.

It took several attempts for me to get on board with Kratom. I initially hated the taste, I couldn’t swallow the huge capsules, I didn’t know how much to take, etc. But to be quite honest, it’s been a lifesaver.

Do search Bluelight for opiate withdrawals and see if you can assemble your own kit of necessary meds for the prevention or treatment of withdrawal symptoms. It can definitely be done, it’s just a little time consuming and you’ll have to be resourceful to get all the meds you’ll need.

Once you’ve gone through withdrawals you will likely be more mindful with your pill consumption. As good as they make you feel, it’s how bad you will feel if you’re in withdrawals that you will really remember.

I appreciate your input. Modest though my use may be, I have experienced withdrawal. It consisted of restless leg syndrome. I found that to be torture. That incentivized me to make my supply last the month. If I take extra ones, then I have to stretch out the remainder, so I don't go 36 hrs with nothing. Last year I wound up in the hospital with a severe infection. They didn't want to give me the Vicodin. So I couldn't relax enough to sleep, which really sucks when you are truly sick. Eventually, I got them to give it to me. When I had to go back for another admission, I brought Vicodin tablets, hidden in a sock. (They go through all your stuff in the hospital.) I was sure glad I had the sense to do that.

I'll have to give kratom more of a chance. "Rx allergy med" is a new one on me. I didn't know that could help w/d. It seems to me, you'ld be in a position to know.

If I get a bad episode of depression, that's when the lure is strong to get down more hydrocodone to feel better. I fight the pull because w/d is even worse than depression. Today was really hard.

 

[Fiori di Bella]

Your last paragraph really resonated with me. Yes! When I find myself in a particularly difficult period of depression or anxiety, oxycodone is the first thing I reach for. Alcohol is not far behind. I drink Chardonnay.

I’m so sorry you’re alone on Christmas. I’m alone until tomorrow, when my boyfriend (he’s actually someone I met here on BL) will come to stay with me for close to 2 weeks. We live about 100 miles apart. I’m an orphan, I have siblings but only one of them lives in my state and we’re not close.

I kind of choose to be alone; I find the whole holiday season and the striving to cook foods perfect in taste and vision, and the quest for the best decorations all too overwhelming. I’d rather be with my cat.

I hope tomorrow (Christmas Day) goes well for you, whatever you do. Don’t focus on your loneliness, instead take advantage of it and perhaps do something creative, or binge-watch a series on TV. It’s your day to do whatever you want.

Also, you could do some calculations regarding your supply of hydros and when you get your refill next. Maybe you can afford to take 2 pills at once at some point tomorrow, based upon your current number of pills.

 

[DesertHarp]

An episode of depression for me usually blows over within two weeks. It's like flu or a bad cold. It ends when it ends. I can't hurry up the recovery. Well, this current episode has been pulling me down since early Nov. I thought it was petering out a few days ago. Yesterday went okay. But I'm back in the steep-sided pit today.

3 hours ago I took my usual evening dose of Vicodin (hydrocodone.) An hour later, I noticed a sudden uptick in my mood. It actually started 45 minutes after I took a tablet. The good effect isn't going to last though. Over the past week, I tried a double dose twice. Definitely gave me a temporary boost.

When my last pill totally wears off, I will so want to pop another . . . but I have enough self-control to decide against that. I don't want to deplete my supply ahead of time.

I wish there was an antidepressant that would give me a boost I could feel like I can after some hydrocodone. I do take amitriptyline, which is an old-fashioned antidepressant. It's definitely better than nothing, but I still feel crummy. I was prescribed lots of other psych meds that did nada, so I gave up on getting help from doctors.

My heart goes out to all who are servicing a bigger addiction than what I have. If I had access to a bigger supply, I sure would avail myself of it. I'ld probably function better for awhile. Then tolerance would kick in, and I'ld just want more and more. I feel pretty bummed out.

 

[Cheddar_Bob_313]

i wish there was an antidepressant that would give me a boost I could feel like I can after some hydrocodone. I do take amitriptyline, which is an old-fashioned antidepressant. It's definitely better than nothing, but I still feel crummy. I was prescribed lots of other psych meds that did nada, so I gave up on getting help from doctors.

Effexor and Wellbutrin worked well for me for a long time until they "pooped out" out and stopped being as effective. I've been on so many different psychotropic medications it's hard to even think of them all - there were that many. Nothing really helped me unfortunately.

 

[DesertHarp]

Effexor and Wellbutrin worked well for me for a long time until they "pooped out" out and stopped being as effective. I've been on so many different psychotropic medications it's hard to even think of them all - there were that many. Nothing really helped me unfortunately.

Me too. I think I was on each of the two meds you mention. Like yourself, I can't remember them all, some tried more than once.

 

[DesertHarp]

Last night I dreamed that I found 2 extra Vicodin tablets in a drawer. First time I ever dreamed of the stuff. I'm not even low on my monthly supply yet. I keep wanting to take extra doses, and I have done so. But I'm real careful to stretch out my 60 tablets because I greatly fear withdrawl.

Restless leg syndrome (my principal withdrawal symptom) makes me absolutely crazy. It kicks in after only 36 hours without a dose. I fear it terribly. Since following this website, I have got myself a jar of Kratom capsules. I have yet to see if they will help with withdrawal.

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

The idea of people that abuse alcohol think themselves above any other type of addict is delusional to me.

They are so lost in this aspect that they had to seperate themselves from NA. By having AA and NA as separate things

The alcoholics in AA can’t even say the words “ I am a drug addict” which is exactly what they are. They never even made it past step 1.

Granted AA where I live is full of plenty of poly drug addicts where alcohol was the worst one for them so they understand; but even within the addict world this separation of a drug as hard as alcohol from all other drugs as being “less hard” is straight up delusional.

You would think in the recovery world they would ba w the balls to say to alcoholics that you are a drug addict just like a cocaine addict is a drug addict; even within that world they can’t. So in society where everyone is an alcohol abuser, forget it

You see this reflected in the phrase 'drugs and alcohol'. Separates out alcohol as though it was somehow not also a drug.

 

[Cheddar_Bob_313]

Me too. I think I was on each of the two meds you mention. Like yourself, I can't remember them all, some tried more than once.

Wellbutrin helped me lose weight and cut down on my cigarette intake. There was nothing noticeable with the Effexor until I missed a few doses in a row (missed taking it for a few days) it made me throw up every time like I was in withdrawal from it. I never had that experience with any other antidepressants.

I don't think people understand how dangerous antidepressants can be.. Especially If you stop taking your medications without the doctors approval.