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I was born a female but I feel like a gay man and I'm having an identity crisis

^ now there's a stroke of logic for ya!!!

how long has the solo porn-obsession been going on for? sounds like he could be in a bad place in life and may not have much to offer the relationship right now...
 
IAMWHY said:
He doesn't seek out new partners and when we are out places, he doesn't look at girls or guys...

It's almost like he's overdedicated to what I want at times, and he sacrifices his true thoughts to tell me what he thinks I want him to hear. I just want him to be him, cause it's his attraction to both kinds of sex that sexually attracts me, but I can tell that he's afraid to go there with me because he's afraid of how he thinks (once again incorrectly) I would react.

He has done things with/for me that he would never do with/for other people and he has told me that he plans on being with me forever. He even wants to have kids with me later down the road, but once we are financially stable, which is something that I am in complete agreeance with. I have no need for kids right now in life, but it says alot about who he really is that he wants kids with me because he admitted earlier in life he thought he would never find someone he wanted to have kids with.

It sounds like you understand what it takes to make your own life work and that is CRITICAL for understanding how to make a relationship work... I think that once my guy realizes and works on the practical parts of life he has problems with (since he is ADD and can't find a doc who will prescribe the meds he needs, he's been to 3 already who took his money and then told him to fuck himself... ironically enough) that he will find his compulsion to watch gay porn diminish. For one thing, if he starts being more active in his life, he literally will not have the free time to be bored and feel like he needs to run away to fantasyland.
Click to expand...

Sorry, I missed this post. And yeah, we both got our sexual experimentation out of the way well before we met. We're both at the same point in terms of maturity as well, so, we basically don't have any troubles. It is unfortunate that your man's desire to experiment with men is so high. Would you be interested in a threesome with a bisexual man? I'm sure there are many such men out there, that aren't afraid to exist outside of the monogamous norm.

Thanks again for the blessings, and I wish the best for you as well. :)
 
Hola. IamWhy. I´m the opposite to you, I´m a man and I feel like lesbiano, I like the woman but I don´t feel like a man, My wife think that I´m gay and She take the masculine rol on the relationship.

Sex was complicated ever, MDMA simplified it.

Sorry my bad english, I´m spanish
 
I think he is gay and ur lesbain that d like to have straight sex.
 
wishing it was a dude's ball sac slapping against his ball sac instead of the edge of my palm.
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pahahahahahahaha sounds like a fictionalization problem. Should probably talk to him instead of us. But whatever you do. PHRASE IT EXACTLY LIKE THE SENTENCE ABOVE.
 
tl;dr

I see two ways out of this:

a) Go into therapy and try to face and solve your sexual identity problems, or
b) buy a strap on dildo and start pegging your bf. Embrace your weirdness and be happy.
 
adictosex said:
Hola. IamWhy. I´m the opposite to you, I´m a man and I feel like lesbiano, I like the woman but I don´t feel like a man, My wife think that I´m gay and She take the masculine rol on the relationship.

Sex was complicated ever, MDMA simplified it.

Sorry my bad english, I´m spanish
Click to expand...
I am similiar however I feel more gender fluid than scenic.

I am a biological male but I express both sides of the gender spectrum. Mostly feminine.
For the record I am also bisexual.

IAMWHY, I ale for your situation. I also can't imagen this is easy for your boyfriend either, as I can somewhat picture his side of the story. As has been mentioned before, chances are he is longing for some male on male contact and perhaps he does not wish to admit just how much he desires it cause he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. (Little does he know he already has).

If he has not been with many people, he probly wants that experience, perhaps even to an extremely strong degree. That doesn't mean that he doesn't love you though. It's a tough situation because I know you don't want to let him go. Why would you. You love him.. right?

It's gonna be difficult because no matter what, he is going to desire the gay sex. Despite what has been stated above, it's difficult being in a monogamous relationship as a bisexual. Especialy if you've not yet explored your sexuality fully. At least that's how I feel..
my current situation has a different set of complexities.

again, I am sorry for your pain and confusion.. your story strikes a cchord in me due to our similarities.
 
In the transgender groups I have been involved in there are usually one or two tg men who feel like you do OT. Indeed I remember being flirted with by one of them one Christmas party.... I am a bi-male who crossdresses. You might benefit from seeking people with similar feelings as you have, perhaps in a local TG organization or perhaps a forum. I hope you find the way most suitable for you.
 
Don't worry about it I'll be your gay man and I love a gay man that's trapped in a female body be my guy I think u have a dick even though u have a vagina
 
I knew a female who thought of herself as a gay male, so she had surgery to remove her breasts and was taking hormones to build muscle. Looked like a fairly muscular dude, but still had female genitalia. She dated gay men, mostly. I think she had a crush on me at one point, but I'm a straight guy...would have probably been really into her if she had not had the body modification and was still female.

I know a lot of people bend over backwards to try to "fit" the person they think they love (though that love may be more akin to obsession). Since I KNOW that happens, and have been there myself, when I hear a woman say, "I was in a relationship with this guy who turned out to be gay and attracted to men, and the more I think about it, I think I may be a gay male trapped in a female body.." I cannot help but wonder if it's not some kind of subconscious attempt to keep the person you are with.

I feel like gay versus straight (who you are attracted to) is generally a biological / genetic issue. I think feeling uncomfortable in your body and feeling like you don't fit is more along the lines of some kind of deep-seated psychological issue. There are too many holes in the notion that you can be a woman born in man's body, like God makes mistakes or something. I'm just following Occam's Razor here. Whether it's physiological or psychological, I guess you can still live the way you want as long as you are not hurting others.

~psychoblast~
 
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