Still haven't slept. It's been like 30 hr since my one and only dose. And mind you, I take less than a point when I do it, because I'm so skinny and lightweight. It usually lasts around this long so that's no surprise. But, things got horribly worse here with my Dad. My mom is on my side and is basically my only friend left in the world after today.
So the minute I got done telling him around 9:30am he instantly grabs a beer (earlier than normal). Then after about 3 beers was when told me about the treatment center. Thought that he had calmed down and respected the fact that I was honest, didn't lie, and never stole, or never spent any money on the shit (which is 100% true, I'd just give this dude that lives semi close to me a ride for an amount that would be like 1 tiny pebble and then shards the size of eraser shavings. I've never don't more than that in a 'bing'.
Hell fucking no. I was completely wrong. He normally gets slightly arrogant when he gets a few in him, but fast forward to about an HR or 2 ago. I literally thought I was having a heart attack. Identical symptoms to Google by the letter. Every symptom I had.
Then, since I was laying on the couch and didn't want to increase my blood pressure anymore by walking out to the living room, I texted him (mind you at this point he's like 14 deep) saying "Dad, I really feel like I am having a heart attack" then he didn't reply cause he was eating so I forced myself to get up and tell my mom. She tells him to look at his phone, and from my room I just hear him raising his voice and almost yelling at my mom for being even slightly concerned about me. Next thing you know I'm all alone laying on my couch waiting for my Dad (because he's the most important person in my life by far) to come and at least see what was going on. I'm paranoid, depressed, anxious, basically feeling every negative emotion you can imagine in the first place and he doesn't even get up, he just texts me "that's what street drugs to you"
I was crushed. I'm still crushed. I am over giving a shit about him whenever he drinks from now on. My dad wasn't even angry when he found out I'd stolen over 1000 dollars for blow back in the day, lied to them every turn, and then he paid 5 grand on a beautiful rehab center. AND THIS TIME I WAS HONEST THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME. He always would say "if you just tell the truth, I'll be disappointed, but not mad, and always here to help.". The only thing he was today was mad. I'm completely alienated with my mom as the middle man. And now hes even yelling and scolding her for giving me just 1 extra 2mg Ativan because I was so hurt.
But now it's whatever. Sorry for the book.