I need advice

[sum1s]

I'm not even sure this is the right forum but I've been reading a lot here. I'm new here so I'll start off by telling a little about myself. I'm 24 years old, I started smoking cigs when i was ~16 and became a heavy pot user around the same time until now. When i was 19/20 years old my brother got addicted to heroin. One of my pot dealers was into oxycontin and one day showed up at my place with tar. I've done my fair share of heroin and suboxone but never got addicted to them.

I was the shy kid in school, I had a panic attack giving a speech in class and it has undoubtedly greatly affected the outcome of my life so far. (Before cigs and alcohol) I went to my doctors and all they gave me was SSRI medications which did absolutely nothing for me and ended up just not taking them after a while. I barely passed high school because I was afraid to go to every class. I would dropout if I knew there was going to be some sort of presentation.

I was going through college at the time my brother was addicted to heroin and he was one of my main weed suppliers. So I would frequently pitch in or trade him some weed. I also began to drink quite a bit around this time. Missed classes, did poorly in classes. I even purposley skipped class when I knew there was a presentation to give, hoping I wouldn't have to do it the following day.

Here is my current dilemma. I had another pretty traumatic experience lately which made me realize some things. I've been going to my GP for the past 2 moths and I jsut got a psychiatrist appointment(Tomorrow is my second appt.), telling my GP I've taken multiple SSRIs and he just prescribed me more different kinds until this last visit. He changed my SSRI to fluoxetine 20mg and gave me a benzodiazapene, clonazepam 0.5mg. He gave me a thorough speech about the benzo so I did a lot of research online. I've heard of klonopin before but had no idea what it was or that it was related to xanax.

First day I tried them, .5 in morning, .5 in evening. felt nothing. Second day i doubled the dose, still nothing. A few days later I think i took 2mg in 1 dose for the whole day. I've also taken 2mg in the morning and 2mg in evening and the only noticeable effects are very little anxiolytic effects, minor short term memory loss, and very little coordination issues. Due to the limited supply I have, its hard for me to really experiment.

I just refilled my clonazepam script on monday after not having taken any for over a week I took 1mg in the morning and 1mg in the afternoon still no effect. Tuesday I tried again. I took 1.5mg in the morning, no effect, then I said fuck it these things don't work. I got home tuesday night and took 3.5mg, and the next thing I remember is waking up at midnight. ( And right now I took 2.5mg about an hour ago and also drank a beer, and I do feel slightly less anxious.

Idk wtf to do anymore. I can hardly stand waiting for all these doctor appointments, and my job sucks because I basically have no interaction with anyone my age, which is all I want, friends. I have decent amount of money in my bank but I don't give a fuck about it cuz my life is worthless and I have basically no friends, never had a girlfriend. Summer is coming up fast and I really want to take classes and have friends to do shit with but it scares the hell out of me. I'm willing to do anything...but if something doesn't change soon idk what I'm going to do.

Do I tell my doctor I've been "abusing" my drugs or simply tell him they are not working?(worried that he might just not prescribe another benzo) I have read the horror storys of withdrawal and I hope to never go through them but if they improve my life even the tiniest bit along with therapy then I think it could be worth it.

 

[CfZrx]

I'm not even sure this is the right forum but I've been reading a lot here. I'm new here so I'll start off by telling a little about myself. I'm 24 years old, I started smoking cigs when i was ~16 and became a heavy pot user around the same time until now. When i was 19/20 years old my brother got addicted to heroin. One of my pot dealers was into oxycontin and one day showed up at my place with tar. I've done my fair share of heroin and suboxone but never got addicted to them.

I was the shy kid in school, I had a panic attack giving a speech in class and it has undoubtedly greatly affected the outcome of my life so far. (Before cigs and alcohol) I went to my doctors and all they gave me was SSRI medications which did absolutely nothing for me and ended up just not taking them after a while. I barely passed high school because I was afraid to go to every class. I would dropout if I knew there was going to be some sort of presentation.

I was going through college at the time my brother was addicted to heroin and he was one of my main weed suppliers. So I would frequently pitch in or trade him some weed. I also began to drink quite a bit around this time. Missed classes, did poorly in classes. I even purposley skipped class when I knew there was a presentation to give, hoping I wouldn't have to do it the following day.

Here is my current dilemma. I had another pretty traumatic experience lately which made me realize some things. I've been going to my GP for the past 2 moths and I jsut got a psychiatrist appointment(Tomorrow is my second appt.), telling my GP I've taken multiple SSRIs and he just prescribed me more different kinds until this last visit. He changed my SSRI to fluoxetine 20mg and gave me a benzodiazapene, clonazepam 0.5mg. He gave me a thorough speech about the benzo so I did a lot of research online. I've heard of klonopin before but had no idea what it was or that it was related to xanax.

First day I tried them, .5 in morning, .5 in evening. felt nothing. Second day i doubled the dose, still nothing. A few days later I think i took 2mg in 1 dose for the whole day. I've also taken 2mg in the morning and 2mg in evening and the only noticeable effects are very little anxiolytic effects, minor short term memory loss, and very little coordination issues. Due to the limited supply I have, its hard for me to really experiment.

I just refilled my clonazepam script on monday after not having taken any for over a week I took 1mg in the morning and 1mg in the afternoon still no effect. Tuesday I tried again. I took 1.5mg in the morning, no effect, then I said fuck it these things don't work. I got home tuesday night and took 3.5mg, and the next thing I remember is waking up at midnight. ( And right now I took 2.5mg about an hour ago and also drank a beer, and I do feel slightly less anxious.

Idk wtf to do anymore. I can hardly stand waiting for all these doctor appointments, and my job sucks because I basically have no interaction with anyone my age, which is all I want, friends. I have decent amount of money in my bank but I don't give a fuck about it cuz my life is worthless and I have basically no friends, never had a girlfriend. Summer is coming up fast and I really want to take classes and have friends to do shit with but it scares the hell out of me. I'm willing to do anything...but if something doesn't change soon idk what I'm going to do.

Do I tell my doctor I've been "abusing" my drugs or simply tell him they are not working?(worried that he might just not prescribe another benzo) I have read the horror storys of withdrawal and I hope to never go through them but if they improve my life even the tiniest bit along with therapy then I think it could be worth it.

Hey SUm1, telling doc means they cant legally prescribe anymore. good luck.

 

[sum1s]

So just tell my doctor that the meds have no effect?

 

[Fug]

When you say they have no effect, are you having full blown panic attacks? Or you just don't feel as relaxed as you want?

 

[sum1s]

I've only had a few panic attacks, but having another is my worst nightmare which is why I avoid social situations as much as possible

 

[maggells]

First off, don't mix alcohol and benzos. It's the fastest way to a black out and can potentially cause you to stop breathing. Take one or the other.

Be honest and explain that your anxiety levels do not go down to acceptable levels with the Clonazepam and that they just make you drowsy. He most likely will want you to wait to see the psychiatrist before he will prescribe you anything different. The psych doctor should be more willing to try different meds with you to help get your anxiety under control.

How long have you been on the Prozac? Antidepressants can help a great deal with generalized anxiety/social anxiety. The issue is they frequently take months to start seeing real effects from. They help mostly by elevating your mood and causing your outlook to more easily be changed to a positive one. The effects are typically subtle and are not going to take away your anxiety altogether or eliminate that fear of having a panic attack again.

The best way to conquer social/situational anxiety is through exposure therapy. You have to force yourself to be in uncomfortable situations frequently and work on letting your anxiety build to its highest level then stay there, deep breathe, visualize it lowering, etc. The more you are able to feel the anxiety peak then lower you will start to feel more able to control it in the future. Talk to your therapist about it. It's best when done with someone there to talk you through it.

I've had terrible anxiety for years. I was the same as you, skipping class, nearly failing because I was terrified to go, missing every presentation. When I started nursing school the class I was most terrified of was Speech. I went so far as begging the Dean to test me out of it. I found that the more I forced myself to attend class, be around others, give presentations no matter how petrified I was the better I felt and the more my anxiety lessened. I was still shaking like a leaf my first day of Speech but I pushed myself and made it through. I've been a nurse for 10 years now and every time I call a doctor for orders I still have to talk myself into it every time. It's not as bad as it used to be but it never really goes away. You learn how to live with it and work around it.

It takes time but you can do it. Medication is just one tool to help you start the process. The real help will come with therapy and exposure. Hang in there.

 

[deos68]

some free therapy advice
fuck fear or fear is gonna fuck you....which obviously you know that already
the reason people panic is straight up fear its not rocket science
avoiding things is the worst thing to do because all your doing is fueling your brain into thinking normal everyday events that they're threats and what does your body do?it goes into flight or fight mode which essentially what a panic attack is, a surge of adrenaline and it feels like dog shit its actually a normal human response the fucked up thing is you feel that even when you are just relaxing...that right there is what scares people ...ever hear about people lifting cars "super human strength during a stressful event or when like you hurt yourself it doesnt hurt at first, its because of the adrenaline once it wears off then you feel the pain

the human body will go to great lengths to protect itself
ive been going to psycho therapy and the main focus is exposure therapy and well...it works
the more you expose yourself to those fears your brain will re program itself into thinking ok well...this is no longer a threat its "normal" so no FOF response

for me anyway i found the best thing to do is, do things i feel uncomfortable with and i stay put even when i feel like running.....eventually i get so bored...that the panic and anxiety goes away on its own...like your brain tells itself wtf theres nothing to be scared of and stops the adrenaline ...in all reality normal everyday things arent scary you make them scary.... and i keep doing it and doing it until it gets to the point that i dont even think twice about panicking

for example you scared of heights? go somewhere high and stay there until you get bored.....simple right doesnt seem like it but it is
i finally learned the hard way after 10 plus years that ive basically wasted my life being afraid at the dumbest shit ever

start small its all about baby steps if its more better for you you can make it a turtle race if needed
i got over my social anxiety by talking to the mail man at first, then i went into stores and talked to the employees just random shit then i started saying hello to strangers then having full convos with strangers and the anxiety went away

 

[sum1s]

First off, don't mix alcohol and benzos. It's the fastest way to a black out and can potentially cause you to stop breathing. Take one or the other.

Be honest and explain that your anxiety levels do not go down to acceptable levels with the Clonazepam and that they just make you drowsy. He most likely will want you to wait to see the psychiatrist before he will prescribe you anything different. The psych doctor should be more willing to try different meds with you to help get your anxiety under control.

How long have you been on the Prozac? Antidepressants can help a great deal with generalized anxiety/social anxiety. The issue is they frequently take months to start seeing real effects from. They help mostly by elevating your mood and causing your outlook to more easily be changed to a positive one. The effects are typically subtle and are not going to take away your anxiety altogether or eliminate that fear of having a panic attack again.

The best way to conquer social/situational anxiety is through exposure therapy. You have to force yourself to be in uncomfortable situations frequently and work on letting your anxiety build to its highest level then stay there, deep breathe, visualize it lowering, etc. The more you are able to feel the anxiety peak then lower you will start to feel more able to control it in the future. Talk to your therapist about it. It's best when done with someone there to talk you through it.

I've had terrible anxiety for years. I was the same as you, skipping class, nearly failing because I was terrified to go, missing every presentation. When I started nursing school the class I was most terrified of was Speech. I went so far as begging the Dean to test me out of it. I found that the more I forced myself to attend class, be around others, give presentations no matter how petrified I was the better I felt and the more my anxiety lessened. I was still shaking like a leaf my first day of Speech but I pushed myself and made it through. I've been a nurse for 10 years now and every time I call a doctor for orders I still have to talk myself into it every time. It's not as bad as it used to be but it never really goes away. You learn how to live with it and work around it.

It takes time but you can do it. Medication is just one tool to help you start the process. The real help will come with therapy and exposure. Hang in there.

I'm already seeing a psychologist, but my GP told me it could be several months before i could get a psychiatrist appointment. I've taken several different anti-depressants for the past 2-3 months, Prozac being the most recent. Speech was my worst class too but I managed to pull through it. But after that I avoided almost every possible scenario if I had to do a presentation or read in front of class. Off to my psychologist appt.

 

[Cdkman]

try gabapentin or lyrica..only thing that kills my social anxiety

 

[Pilll_head]

try gabapentin or lyrica..only thing that kills my social anxiety

I take Lyrica (300 mg a day) and I've felt that it helps take the edge of off my anxiety. If klonopin isn't working I would go back to your doc and tell them it's not doing anything. Usually for panic attacks they prescribe Xanax, I would ask for that.

 

[sum1s]

So I've been "experimenting" more with the last of my klonopin. I've taken 1mg-2mg doses almost every day this week which has nearly depleted my prescription. I had a very stressful planned event on friday which i took 2mg in the morning and although the effects were very subtle I noticed that I was much less anxious at the time. I guess my next question now is what do I tell my doctor? I know he doesn't like prescribing this medication. I'm worried that if I tell him its not working he will then just refer me to a psychiatrist which will take months which i cannot deal with atm. And I don't want to tell him I've been taking more than prescribed. (I don't buy off the street. I've been making this 1 month prescription last) Should I talk to my psychologist about this or is that a bad idea?

 

[Man in the Dark]

I am truly sorry for what you're going through. But in my humble Opinion nowadays we are so quick to go see a psychiatrist get put on medication. I went to high school back in the 80s and early 90s and there was no such thing as doctors prescribing kids all these antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications. It just seems now that if something gets a little rough first thing this younger generation does is run to a doctor for a script.

Just like some of the above posters have stated sometimes you just got to fight it and do it and get through that situation because you know what that's life,because if you start turning to medication at such a young age how are you going to get through things when life really gets tough when you become an adult and you have real problems and your life depends on you having a job giving presentations etc.

I'm not trying to be unsympathetic to your situation but I think you got a fight through some things instead of running for a prescription to get you through it. Back in the 80s and 90s there was no such thing as kids having anxiety and depression what have you it was unheard of it was almost like ignorance is bliss I'm sure a lot of people suffered with both but you know what they made it through and accomplished the task and that's what made them grow.

 

[sum1s]

I am truly sorry for what you're going through. But in my humble Opinion nowadays we are so quick to go see a psychiatrist get put on medication. I went to high school back in the 80s and early 90s and there was no such thing as doctors prescribing kids all these antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications. It just seems now that if something gets a little rough first thing this younger generation does is run to a doctor for a script.

Just like some of the above posters have stated sometimes you just got to fight it and do it and get through that situation because you know what that's life,because if you start turning to medication at such a young age how are you going to get through things when life really gets tough when you become an adult and you have real problems and your life depends on you having a job giving presentations etc.

I'm not trying to be unsympathetic to your situation but I think you got a fight through some things instead of running for a prescription to get you through it. Back in the 80s and 90s there was no such thing as kids having anxiety and depression what have you it was unheard of it was almost like ignorance is bliss I'm sure a lot of people suffered with both but you know what they made it through and accomplished the task and that's what made them grow.

I've been struggling for 10+ years so Its not like I'm running to the doc at the first sign of trouble. I completely understand what you're getting at though. In my current situation I need help now. I'm ready to give up. I don't want to become addicted to drugs, I plan on doing whatever it takes to beat my anxiety. I've heard about things like CBT, but right now I'm just seeing a psychologist so we'll see what happens in the near future... Please...I just really need to know how to talk to my doctor about prescribing me a higher dose of klonopin or something different for my anxiety. I'm so worried about not getting another refill and starting back at square 1 I'll have a meltdown and idk what I'll do...

 

[manboychef]

Deos and man in the dark make some excellent points. I will tel you a little of my story. I have OCD and panic disorder. I have self medicated my entire life and ended up hooked on opiates and benzos. I finally have a year and a half sober. I took benzos for a while but not abusing them like I had before. I realized that benzos are only a temporary fix and you will need to keep raising your dose or they will quit working. Benzos are really not meant to be an everyday t hing, they are meant to be used during panic episodes, or for me when the intrusive thoughts become alarming.

What works for me is zoloft in the morning, having a hobby, and confronting my fears. Yes I still have a hard time with things, but I konw that a pill cannot fix them, and they are not going to change over night.

You may want to try talk therapy, or CBT. Those have both really helped me quite a lot more than constantly upping my xanax dose.