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I can't fall in love

Animal Mother

Animal Mother

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 6, 2007
Messages
3,411
I fell in love 1 time. With one girl, and she kind of treats me like shit to this day. Leading me on, then burning off and fucking some other dude.

The thing is, I don't even think I'm in love with her anymore. Over the years, I've met all of these really great and sweet girls. I think that most guys would love these girls and do anything for them. I just want to have sex with them. I can make no emotional connection. I was even this way before I met the one girl that I fell in love with, and that didn't happen until I was 21.
I'm definitely attracted to girls; I like their girly and maternal ways. I'm not attracted to men or anything, but I think that I get more emotional satisfaction just hanging out with my best friends than I do from any girl that has feelings for me.

I try! I honestly try, but it just doesn't seem to work.
Is everybody like this? Do most people only fall in love 1 time, and just like...nothing else compares after that? Do do alot of people find it easy to fall in love and need another? I am I normal or what?
 
Oh yeah, and girls, I'm the guy that you think is really cute and great until you realize that you've just been used for sex and that I don't really want anything other than that. I'm going to go ahead and apologize to the world of females for that right here and now. Sorry for leading you on.
 
Um... you're only 20/21 --super young! Love will find you. :) You just haven't met the right person. Relax. :)
 
Animal Mother said:
I fell in love 1 time. With one girl, and she kind of treats me like shit to this day. Leading me on, then burning off and fucking some other dude.

The thing is, I don't even think I'm in love with her anymore. Over the years, I've met all of these really great and sweet girls. I think that most guys would love these girls and do anything for them. I just want to have sex with them. I can make no emotional connection. I was even this way before I met the one girl that I fell in love with, and that didn't happen until I was 21.
I'm definitely attracted to girls; I like their girly and maternal ways. I'm not attracted to men or anything, but I think that I get more emotional satisfaction just hanging out with my best friends than I do from any girl that has feelings for me.

I try! I honestly try, but it just doesn't seem to work.
Is everybody like this? Do most people only fall in love 1 time, and just like...nothing else compares after that? Do do alot of people find it easy to fall in love and need another? I am I normal or what?
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Have to make sure you get completely over that 1st love. I don't know what the deal is with that(whether it's being young or what) but that 1st love gets a lot of people. Had me cray-z for a hot minute. Often I think ppl project their ideals onto that first person, and emotionally bond, even though that person really isn't that good of a person in reality.
 
Corazon said:
Have to make sure you get completely over that 1st love. I don't know what the deal is with that(whether it's being young or what) but that 1st love gets a lot of people. Had me cray-z for a hot minute. Often I think ppl project their ideals onto that first person, and emotionally bond, even though that person really isn't that good of a person in reality.
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I just got out of prison. I haven't even seen that girl in 5 years and pretty much felt my love for her die when she wrote me about 3 years ago telling me that she was pregnant with some one else's kid.

But like...that shouldn't even matter, right? I mean, I didn't even meet her until I was 21. What about all of the years and girls before that?
I WANT to fall in love. I want to feel that blissful high again. It was amazing and I just don't feel the same without it.
 
i can't fall in love either, i don't want to though. (which is probably why i can't.) i just wanna fuck, drink my OE, lift weights play basketball and make music. no time for that emotional bullshit and drama.
 
Eh, 28 is just a number.

Srsly though, love will find you. When you meet the right person--:)
 
Some people don't fall in love. It's okay not to want a relationship, but that's where our integrity should intervene. You should be honest with these women. Not all of us want a relationship.
 
I think we become jaded with love as we get older. I think it's normal to be head over heels crazy in love the first time. Young, dumb, and full of ... you know what. After that first really emotional relationship ends we start to build an emotional wall. Who wants to get hurt like that again? I wish I could be optimistic about love but there's no hope. I think there's also that misconception that all women want a relationship. Like Tude said, not all of us want that. When you get into your late 20's, early 30's it's like what's the point?? Nobody wants to take that risk of "falling" in love again. I think you are perfectly normal.
 
You obviously need to get over. How often do you see this girl? STOP! She's using you and she's being a jerk. And she's made you into the same type of person.

I'm really not sure what type of advice you want. You know what you have to do - get over this girl and move on with your life.
 
Animal Mother said:
I just got out of prison. I haven't even seen that girl in 5 years and pretty much felt my love for her die when she wrote me about 3 years ago telling me that she was pregnant with some one else's kid.
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Why did she do that? that does sound quite manipulative...

Anyway, I don't think you should tell yourslf you can't fall in love. Maybe you just haven't met the right person yet; maybe you have a different definition of love than most people and your definition would be harder to attain. In any case there really isn't any point telling yourself it's impossible, nor trying to forcefully make it happen. The best you can do is take care of yourself, be happy with yourself and eventually you'll be able to connect with someone as the real you (I personally don't think 'true' love is possible unless both people are ina good place about themselves/in general, otherwise it creates unbalanced relationships...but that's just me). Negativity is often easier but rarely leads us anywhere. Try to stay as positive as possible, or at least don't immediately assume such a final thing :)
 
Pagey said:
Why did she do that? that does sound quite manipulative...
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I never even thought about it like that. I had written her first after us not writing each other for like 6 months. I wrote her on the 'caring friend' level. That was the letter that I got back. It probably was manipulative, because she did say "My only regret is that it's not yours" Also, at that point we hadn't been together for like 2 1/2 years. Ok, when I lay it out like this, I think I might still have some issues with this chick.
 
Animal Mother said:
I fell in love 1 time. With one girl, and she kind of treats me like shit to this day. Leading me on, then burning off and fucking some other dude.

The thing is, I don't even think I'm in love with her anymore. Over the years, I've met all of these really great and sweet girls. I think that most guys would love these girls and do anything for them. I just want to have sex with them. I can make no emotional connection. I was even this way before I met the one girl that I fell in love with, and that didn't happen until I was 21.
I'm definitely attracted to girls; I like their girly and maternal ways. I'm not attracted to men or anything, but I think that I get more emotional satisfaction just hanging out with my best friends than I do from any girl that has feelings for me.

I try! I honestly try, but it just doesn't seem to work.
Is everybody like this? Do most people only fall in love 1 time, and just like...nothing else compares after that? Do do alot of people find it easy to fall in love and need another? I am I normal or what?
Click to expand...

Those who fall inlove a lot, IMO, have things missing in their lives... or even psychological needs...

I think it's healthy not to fall inlove. I haven't fallen in love for about 8 years, and that girl I can't stand now.

thought, I do believe in soul mates and finding the right person... think it's good to find "the one", but if you don't develop crushes outside this... then best to ya
 
Animal Mother said:
I never even thought about it like that. I had written her first after us not writing each other for like 6 months. I wrote her on the 'caring friend' level. That was the letter that I got back. It probably was manipulative, because she did say "My only regret is that it's not yours" Also, at that point we hadn't been together for like 2 1/2 years. Ok, when I lay it out like this, I think I might still have some issues with this chick.
Click to expand...

Yup. It seriously wasn't decent of her to say that, at all :\ yknow this might sound a bit dumb but something that helps me get over breakups is to make a list of all the things I couldn't stand in the other person/all the problems we had in the relationship. Doesn't mean you'll forget the good times you want to hold on to at all, but sometimes it can be a good way to clear your head a bit and realise that it may be for the best that the two of you aren't together anymore.
 
Pagey said:
Yup. It seriously wasn't decent of her to say that, at all :\ yknow this might sound a bit dumb but something that helps me get over breakups is to make a list of all the things I couldn't stand in the other person/all the problems we had in the relationship. Doesn't mean you'll forget the good times you want to hold on to at all, but sometimes it can be a good way to clear your head a bit and realise that it may be for the best that the two of you aren't together anymore.
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Actually, using other girls tends to make me feel better. I just wish that it wasn't at the expense of their feelings.
It's very hard for me to stay away from this girl as she DOES care about me. Even if I know that I can't have her, I care for her deeply and want to be around to make sure that she is Ok.
 
Who needs love? It fucking hurts you, tears you apart and dissects your mind into a diseased like state.
 
Animal Mother said:
Actually, using other girls tends to make me feel better. I just wish that it wasn't at the expense of their feelings.
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It doesn't have to be at the expense of anyone's feelings. You just find girls who wanna "hit it and quit it." They are out there, and more than you think.
 
Tude said:
It doesn't have to be at the expense of anyone's feelings. You just find girls who wanna "hit it and quit it." They are out there, and more than you think.
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Maybe I'm doing it wrong lol. They always tend to want more from me. I think that I'm talking to a cool one now though and I'll see what she's into. Could go either way at this point.
 
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