cletusSamboy
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 24, 2021
- Messages
- 420
After finding a source of high quality coke to make freebase I've quickly found I can't stop smoking because
(1) effects are short lasting
(2) after the first hit the effects seem to be severely weakened
(3) a mild comedown compared to meth and amp.
After the first hit gets a mild to decent buzz I just keep blasting away hoping the next hit will finally work but it never does but I keep getting the urge to use regardless. I'll even stash it away after promising not to use my stash but then I can't stop thinking about it and keep trying to come up with an excuse to use or to give myself permission to use (weird I wont use if I've not given myself permission or found an excuse). I've never had this problem with other drugs like oxy and heroin since repeated dosing keeps noticeably doing something and so I don't repeatedly dose to just to chase the high and they don't bug my brain to use them again until it's all gone. Even with meth my tolerance quickly sets in like crack for me and stops working like it should after a few tokes but the insomnia and side effects are enough to keep me from compulsively doing it like crack.
My use hovers between 0.5g - 1.5g per month over the last 8 months and I've used less than half an ounce all up so it's still a fairly moderate amount but cocaine is extremely damaging for one's heart so I need this shit to stop before I end up with heart damage. I've overdosed before (stage 1 overdose) and scared the shit out of me when I was gasping for air after exhaling and couldn't stop pacing around the house for 45 minutes trying to burn up my energy and with my heart probably near 200bpm but didn't stop me either. I've broken my lighters, thrown away my wire mesh, smashed my pipes but I've found improvised pipes can quickly be made from paper or metal tubes used. Candles replace lighters and foil replaces mesh. It never stops.
(1) effects are short lasting
(2) after the first hit the effects seem to be severely weakened
(3) a mild comedown compared to meth and amp.
After the first hit gets a mild to decent buzz I just keep blasting away hoping the next hit will finally work but it never does but I keep getting the urge to use regardless. I'll even stash it away after promising not to use my stash but then I can't stop thinking about it and keep trying to come up with an excuse to use or to give myself permission to use (weird I wont use if I've not given myself permission or found an excuse). I've never had this problem with other drugs like oxy and heroin since repeated dosing keeps noticeably doing something and so I don't repeatedly dose to just to chase the high and they don't bug my brain to use them again until it's all gone. Even with meth my tolerance quickly sets in like crack for me and stops working like it should after a few tokes but the insomnia and side effects are enough to keep me from compulsively doing it like crack.
My use hovers between 0.5g - 1.5g per month over the last 8 months and I've used less than half an ounce all up so it's still a fairly moderate amount but cocaine is extremely damaging for one's heart so I need this shit to stop before I end up with heart damage. I've overdosed before (stage 1 overdose) and scared the shit out of me when I was gasping for air after exhaling and couldn't stop pacing around the house for 45 minutes trying to burn up my energy and with my heart probably near 200bpm but didn't stop me either. I've broken my lighters, thrown away my wire mesh, smashed my pipes but I've found improvised pipes can quickly be made from paper or metal tubes used. Candles replace lighters and foil replaces mesh. It never stops.
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