bigspaceship
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2016
- Messages
- 2
Warning, long story. 26M for the record.
I discovered psychedelics give or take 6 years ago, when a friend brought some 25N-NBOMe from another country. Back at the time I had no idea what the hell is an NBOMe. My experience with drugs was limited to alcohol (which I disliked) and weed (which I hated). Needless to say, a psychedelic trip was absolutely mind blowing for me at the time. Amazing visuals, euphoria, no signs of anything that could be called "body load" - just straight awesomeness. I really fell in love with the things psychedelics can show you.
We didn't use much, the tripping was limited to approximately once per 4-5 months. No heroic dosages either. The 25N quickly ran out, so we proceeded to order some 25C and 25I. (Note that 5 years ago it was still in the grey market area). Cheap as fuck and still great. I liked 25C better just because 25I took a bit too long to come up for my tastes, but with either of them I had great profound trips, chilling, listening to music, taking walks at the beach and the usual.
The first problems began give or take 3 years ago, when I discovered reddit, erowid etc. Basically I read all the NBOMe horror stories. Deaths? Check. Seizures? Check. Uncomfortable body load? Check. I kinda knew that I am far out of the "heroic" territory, with my largest dose taken per evening around 1200mcg of 25C, spaced over 5 hours. But I started to notice things which I barely paid attention to before. Chills, hot flashes, muscle twitches, tension. Focusing on them a bit unraveled all the other "bad effects" - chest tightness, gastric discomfort. I am still pretty sure that that would never happen if nobody would have told me. The trips were just getting worse. Nothing special, nothing mentally torturing and horrifying, but I was just uncomfortable in my body and the euphoria ceased to appear. I haven't had a single "bad trip", just "mediocre" ones when I would be walking around too uncomfortable to enjoy things.
I then made a healthy well-informed democratic decision to cease with the NBOMes altogether and just get LSD instead. Haven't taken an NBOMe in the last 2-3 years. Unfortunately, this hasn't cured the issue. A few times LSD worked like the original trips, then I just started noticing the same unpleasant things on LSD as well. Shrooms didn't help as well. The last time I did some 25mg's of 2C-B and still have the same problem - yeah, I got some visuals (with zero headspace though), but I just felt physically uncomfortable.
Over the last years I have also developed some general anxiety accompanying me all the time. Not crippling, but just some small background that doesn't interfere with my actions but just takes a bit of fun away from everyday life. And the anxiety just gets stronger when thinking about doing drugs. The idea of dropping some psychs in the evening makes me anxious instead of excited now. I tried preloading my trips with 0.25 of alprazolam, that helps a bit but still no euphoria. The only drug I tried recently that really worked its magic was MDA, but doh, of course. And even dropping this MDA pill (was my first time) made me anxious for 4 hours before dropping and then a full hour of panic until it started working.
I am healthy, do lots of sports, have a nice job and great relationships. My drug use is still on the order of once every 3-5 months. I don't drink, I don't smoke weed, don't engage in benzo abuse. But I still can't fucking have a nice trip because I feel uncomfortable.
Dear bluelight, I want my magic back. Make tripping great again. Can you give me any advice on how to deal with this? What should I do/think/take to finally relax, forget the horror stories and enjoy myself tripping balls?
TL/DR Read too much horror stories, can't enjoy tripping now.
I discovered psychedelics give or take 6 years ago, when a friend brought some 25N-NBOMe from another country. Back at the time I had no idea what the hell is an NBOMe. My experience with drugs was limited to alcohol (which I disliked) and weed (which I hated). Needless to say, a psychedelic trip was absolutely mind blowing for me at the time. Amazing visuals, euphoria, no signs of anything that could be called "body load" - just straight awesomeness. I really fell in love with the things psychedelics can show you.
We didn't use much, the tripping was limited to approximately once per 4-5 months. No heroic dosages either. The 25N quickly ran out, so we proceeded to order some 25C and 25I. (Note that 5 years ago it was still in the grey market area). Cheap as fuck and still great. I liked 25C better just because 25I took a bit too long to come up for my tastes, but with either of them I had great profound trips, chilling, listening to music, taking walks at the beach and the usual.
The first problems began give or take 3 years ago, when I discovered reddit, erowid etc. Basically I read all the NBOMe horror stories. Deaths? Check. Seizures? Check. Uncomfortable body load? Check. I kinda knew that I am far out of the "heroic" territory, with my largest dose taken per evening around 1200mcg of 25C, spaced over 5 hours. But I started to notice things which I barely paid attention to before. Chills, hot flashes, muscle twitches, tension. Focusing on them a bit unraveled all the other "bad effects" - chest tightness, gastric discomfort. I am still pretty sure that that would never happen if nobody would have told me. The trips were just getting worse. Nothing special, nothing mentally torturing and horrifying, but I was just uncomfortable in my body and the euphoria ceased to appear. I haven't had a single "bad trip", just "mediocre" ones when I would be walking around too uncomfortable to enjoy things.
I then made a healthy well-informed democratic decision to cease with the NBOMes altogether and just get LSD instead. Haven't taken an NBOMe in the last 2-3 years. Unfortunately, this hasn't cured the issue. A few times LSD worked like the original trips, then I just started noticing the same unpleasant things on LSD as well. Shrooms didn't help as well. The last time I did some 25mg's of 2C-B and still have the same problem - yeah, I got some visuals (with zero headspace though), but I just felt physically uncomfortable.
Over the last years I have also developed some general anxiety accompanying me all the time. Not crippling, but just some small background that doesn't interfere with my actions but just takes a bit of fun away from everyday life. And the anxiety just gets stronger when thinking about doing drugs. The idea of dropping some psychs in the evening makes me anxious instead of excited now. I tried preloading my trips with 0.25 of alprazolam, that helps a bit but still no euphoria. The only drug I tried recently that really worked its magic was MDA, but doh, of course. And even dropping this MDA pill (was my first time) made me anxious for 4 hours before dropping and then a full hour of panic until it started working.
I am healthy, do lots of sports, have a nice job and great relationships. My drug use is still on the order of once every 3-5 months. I don't drink, I don't smoke weed, don't engage in benzo abuse. But I still can't fucking have a nice trip because I feel uncomfortable.
Dear bluelight, I want my magic back. Make tripping great again. Can you give me any advice on how to deal with this? What should I do/think/take to finally relax, forget the horror stories and enjoy myself tripping balls?
TL/DR Read too much horror stories, can't enjoy tripping now.