...but I don't see why I should have to have a big fight why can't i politely say go away and have her fuck off and leave me alone, i don't fucking get it. ...why does she not take the polite friendly not interested sorry,....Why does she insist on making me have to hurt her as much as possible to get it and go away? And that's assuming she even would forget about me if I was a bitch cunt to her, what if even that doesn't work and I'm stuck, what did I do to deserve this stress, don't fuck with an agorophobes safe place holy cow.
I thought this thread was halfway amusing, up until this post. I thought this gal may have actually been out of place and rude (definitely rude for coming into your room with the door closed and no answer - things should have been stopped immediately at that point, that's just intrusive, invasive and rude...) but now I see that she's probably confused, and you need to stand the fuck up for yourself and say CLEARLY and calmly, (and no you don't have to be a 'cunt bitch' about it, she never asked for that as far as I know) "Listen. I am uncomfortable with you in my home. I would appreciate it if we only saw each other at work and that's about it. I know I may have confused you or sent you mixed messages, and I apologize for that, but I just want to make it clear that I am uninterested in really any sort of relationship, and again, need you to stop coming by here, please."
YOU, and nobody else, are in control of YOUR emotions. The whole "i don't see why i should have a big fight...why does she insist on making me have to hurt her as much as possible..."
THAT is absolutely RIDICULOUS. I highly doubt she ever said "hey libby, could you please cause a big dumb fight with me? and while you're at it, I insist on you hurting me as much as you possibly can."
It is completely 100% your fault that she's acting like this. You need to be assertive (and yes, it's very possible to be pleasant while being assertive and firm) and tell her that she is simply NOT WELCOME into your home. And no, you needn't 'repeat yourself again,' I read the entire thread - you have not been assertive and clear with her, you've been passive-aggressive and cowardly. She's not a psychic, as far as I know - so TELL HER. If she asks why after you've politely and assertively told her she's simply not welcome around, then, and only then, is when you can start to get a little cunty. She doesn't necessarily deserve a reason; once she's been told to remove herself from somebody's private property, that should be the end of that. If she chooses to escalate the situation thereafter, or return to your property (even if it's to 'see your flatmate', which is something the two of you need to discuss - you need to tell her that you are uncomfortable with her there and you've informed her that she is not welcome...) you need to call the police or your landlord and remove the situation from your hands. At that point, you've made yourself clear and have done what you're supposed to.
But the whole 'woe is me' bullshit like "what did I do to deserve this stress?"
that is simply outrageous. This situation could have been cut off damn near before it started, but essentially, it is you who has let it prolong and stretch out this far. This isn't Lady Karma coming to bite you in your agorophobic ass, it's simply a gal who's coming around to see what's up, because obviously she got some idea that was acceptable. It's your responsibility and duty to stand up for yourself, and if you don't want or like something or someone, it's only you who can change that.
