How to deal with people overstaying their welcome

[rakketakke]

I usually tell people I sometimes am not to be found anywhere remotely and need my space to be alone. i'm never bored alone. i'll just blatantly tell you you have to leave, not that i'm incompetent at being social or tactless I just grow tired of people rather quikly and want to make that very clear. Unless we work on something together I live by the words if you don't have anything of value to say please keep it to yourself.

 

[Libby]

I think she would win if it came to the violence in honesty. She is heaps tall and hyperactive and lesbian (not to stereotype). I havn't seen her since, havn't been at work, am going tomorrow, hopefully no drama with her, shall see.

 

[manboychef]

I'm like a ghost after the act. Had this one girl....we shot some goodies, all hers of course, and then proceeded to have crazy break the lamps and flip the bed kind of marathon sex. The next morning I did my wake up shot and beer and put my chef coat on....which is generally the signal for "time to part ways, call me when your holding..."

Fast forward twelve hours. I arrive home in my general state, wasted and pin holing. I get to my room. Throw open the door and I'm surprised to see her still siting on my bed. She cleaned the room. I had to look her square in the eye and say, "you need a ride somewhere..."

 

[T. Calderone]

^ Wow she stayed all day waiting for you to come back?
Next time when you leave, make sure the girl leaves as well.

 

[manboychef]

Yes she did. Cleaned up the mess we made. She was actually very sweet....but at that time of my life there was no possible way two addicts could start romance.

As a side note...why do women like chefs? Last thing I want to do is cook an elaborate meal. Well maybe if I found the proverbial one.

 

[Comrade Kane]

I'm thinking might be your own problems and your phobia whatever rather than anything she's actually doing. Sounds like she's bubbly active and friendly and probably is friends with all your flat mates (are they from work too?) and likely they were in the lounge laughing at you hiding in your room and she said that she'd go see what the fuck was wrong with you.

Repeat I don't believe the way you perceive things or have stated things to be is the real situation.

 

[T. Calderone]

It could be a bit of both, Comrade and possibly a communication issue. I'm not trying to hijack your thread Libby but I thought of this thread yesterday when having a conversation with my ex-boyfriend.

When we were a couple, this man would invite me over and it was meant to be just overnight. I would get ready to go home and he would say, "No, don't leave yet or don't you want to watch this movie with me?" There was even a few times he took my keys so I could not leave without saying goodbye while he was asleep.

The reason I'm bringing this up is when we spoke over the phone yesterday he made this remark about how I used to overstay my visit sometimes. But I can say confidently the only times he was dying to get rid of me was when he owed me money. He used to borrow my car on the premise of a job that he conveniently would not get paid for. In the process, use up every bit of gas in the tank to where the add fuel light went on.

This happened more times than I can remember. Finally I had to be assertive and ask him if he was giving me the cash promised or not. It would end with me storming out angry as hell. I guess my point is, he perceived it as overstaying my welcome. The truth is I was being taken advantage of and could only see it in hindsight.

I had to delete half this post as it's turning into blog material. When he made that comment I could feel my blood begin to boil, especially since right after this he was asking me for a ride to another so-called job. Truly a fuckoffskies moment but not brave enough to actually convey this. I'm slowly learning that I need to be able to say no firmly with no room for misinterpretation.

Until I master this technique for today, I'm silencing the phone. Thanks for reading my rant.