So, I started using drugs a 13 (smoking pot, LSD, etc.) I moved on quickly to others (cocaine, Meth, heroin). At 19 I had been in inpatient twice and TRIED to stop, I couldn't. At 20 I moved to another city and got into a program. I was also fucking DONE! It was a bad life I had created for myself. Anyway, in the new city I found recovery in a way I had never had before. I loved the community, I dove into AA and surrounded myself with positive people and a made a new great life. I stayed clean and sober (NOTHING, no booze, weed, no pain meds even when I got my wisdom teeth pulled) for 11 years. Somewhere around 8 years clean, however, life became complicated. I had gotten married, had a baby, bought a house in that time (those 8 years) and then it all fell apart. I have to say though, even when I took the drugs away AND was working a program of recovery, I am such a broken person that I made some bad choices. My husband was abusive and I still felt less than. When I got divorced I needed a break from the recovery world and felt I "deserved" to have some fun. Well, that quickly led to three months of me shooting heroin again. I moved again, somehow I was able to stop before I lost everything, but I didn't really STOP, I switched to pills and tried to "taper off" so I wasn't sick. That was three years ago...now I still take pills and get sick when I don't have them. It sucks. I am lucky enough to be able to "maintain" and have a constant supply so I don't have to do the normal addict stuff to get well. It's been tough. I am hoping to get back to my recovery community. So the longest answer to your question ever...I hope that by 35 (next year), I'll be done totally with everything. I know that the happiest I have ever been is when I'm clean AND working a program of recovery. I'm not here to preach, 12 steps don't work for everyone, but they did for me. My experience is that I was happy then, the void was filled, and I was the one that stopped working the program. Right now, though, I don't feel ready to quit pills, they offer that euphoria that helps me get through my very crazy life.