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How high are YOU? v. winter has come! time to face the white powders, eh.. walkers*

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4meSM said:
You lost me there.

Welcome back!
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Thank you.

I can understand why I lost you :p

I meant to write: "I probably take cocaine 1 or 2 days each week as well as tramadol or other opiats/opioids another 1 or 2 days as well - in combination with my daily intake of methadone, oxycodone, pregabalin and benzo's that is".

Taking cocaine 1 or 2 days each week is probably too often to do it. I can afford it so financially it is okay though I would prefer to spend my money on better things. However it is starting to take a toll on my psychological well being again. It is not like when you were in your 20s where you could take cocaine the entire night and leave for work fresh at 7 in the morning. But normally as the wether gets better I start to spend more time on my hobbies this spending less time taking drugs.
 
Joe Bean said:
well I was wondering what happened to ya brother! I guess I just got my answer. I’m glad you are back and going in the right direction again. It’s crazy I was just thinking. This same life questions to myself. I live in a double life myself. But I’ve shared my past with co workers which most think is the past. Some know that I’m on opiate addiction therapy. But truthfully I’m on it for pain. Just easier to say I’m getting help then to say I’m back on them. I’m a big believer in telling the truth so if someone does ask me about anything to my face I usually sit them down and tell them more then I should but it’s who I am. Every time I’ve done this it hasn’t backfired on my normal life. It usually helps me have another caring friend in the process. Ie come to realize I have PTSD and OCD from when I was a teen and the things I went through and seen. I can tell that’s where my love for mind altering substances came to be. I wanted out of everyday life and in my own world. It’s usually fun and games until you end up in jail or prison. Which is why we go to the legal form of addiction. Also doesn’t help that I got hurt badly so it’s easy for me to get prescribed anything really. Not sure if you are religious or believe in god but having god there for me has really helped a lot. I’m not perfect nor try to be but my life has gotten way better because of it. Even when I do mess up it’s easier for me to rebound instead of depression of messing up I take it as a learning lesson. Just wanted to let ya know you aren’t alone and Galen to see you are back!
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It is very interesting that you actually tell your co-workers the truth about your addiction.
I just say that what I take is for chronic pain. However I am open about my tendency towards depression and anxiety. I am very glad I told my co-workers that. Now they can help me when I start having a bad period and sometime even stop it before I reach full on depression. But I hate lying almost everyday to people that I respect and like very much. But I really think the other part of my life is too extreme for most people to handle and still see me as a good person. Even though I have done some bad things and break the law as often as I change my underwear I am still a more empathic person towards other humans and animals as well than the average person. This have not always been so, but after I myself have suffered from deep depression I have become very aware of the well beings of others as I do not wish it on anyone to suffer as much as you do when you are deeply and chronically depressed.

But respect for have the courage to tell your co-workers about your situation.
 
Enjoying a couple beers between work shifts.

Found out my piece of crap roommate stole beer from me last night while I was working. If any of you have creative ideas for retribution I'm all ears. I would have shared it if he had asked, but nope, he decides to just lift it. I'm only living here for 1 more month so I have no qualms with fucking with him a bit.

Dishonest people / thieves are scum.
 
Ignio said:
It is very interesting that you actually tell your co-workers the truth about your addiction.
I just say that what I take is for chronic pain. However I am open about my tendency towards depression and anxiety. I am very glad I told my co-workers that. Now they can help me when I start having a bad period and sometime even stop it before I reach full on depression. But I hate lying almost everyday to people that I respect and like very much. But I really think the other part of my life is too extreme for most people to handle and still see me as a good person. Even though I have done some bad things and break the law as often as I change my underwear I am still a more empathic person towards other humans and animals as well than the average person. This have not always been so, but after I myself have suffered from deep depression I have become very aware of the well beings of others as I do not wish it on anyone to suffer as much as you do when you are deeply and chronically depressed.

But respect for have the courage to tell your co-workers about your situation.
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I dont tell them everything about my addiction but I’ve gotten real close with some and they know the most of it. But some can tell I walk with a limp and ask about it. Which I do tell them about my accident and what I went through for it. Then also I try to be older guy who’s been there make some that at work kinda twlkingthe 20 years old don’t do that or this will happen lol but as for my past I’m no afraid to talk about that. But ina. Way I guess I don’t tell them a lot of things cuz most don’t know about my depression and sadness I’ve felt with most my life. So I get where you are coming from for sure. It’s ahrd to tell others that all you think about is sad things or depression is so bad sometimes I just want to move away start somewhere new wor the dark dark things that go by anyone’s mind which I don’t like to talk about. I try and look at life as a blessing most days now and im
happy to be here to able to help others if I can or to share my story. We only get one life so make it into something you are happy to have.
 
100 mg tapentadol plugged.
225 mg pregabalin
1 steel reserve 24 oz

i think i'm officially dependent on opioids again after a few months of rarely using them. fuck. maybe gonna try a cold turkey WD this weekend as i can't have WD cravings interfering with work. The shitty thing is that i can't take kratom anymore to get me through tapering or not abusing pills, becausse kratom started to give me bad bladder pain ala ketamin (which i have a history of disso use so the initial damage maybe was from that) kratom definitely aggravates it though.
 
Been getting back into marijuana after ~16 years of abstinence.

Can't smoke it yet (gives me too much anxiety) so I've been slowly building my tolerance back up with edibles. I like the act of smoking so hopefully once my tolerance grows I can once again enjoy smoking marijuana.

Started off taking 4-6mg worth of THC everyday. Then worked up to 7-8mg and have been taking that everyday after work.

Today I took 10mg. Feels good, I forgot how much I enjoy listening to music while high.
 
4meSM said:
Do you mean weed high in CBD or more like pure CBD mixed with tobacco? And how does it make you feel?
I'd really like to try pure CBD and mix it with some dank weed, just to see if it really changes the high.
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Weed high in CBD (>15% ) mixed with tobacco because the weed burns like crap by itself. It makes me feel a little relaxed, sleepy. Not much other effect really, I think the tobacco negates any sort of appetite stimulation. At this point I'm pretty much just smoking to smoke since I have an oral fixation and can't take in THC. I think that if you mixed high CBD weed and high THC weed, it would be more disappointing than straight fire bud. CBD is just so subtle, it's not much going to satisfy someone used to THC. IMO, YMMV, etc.

Ho-Chi-Minh said:
leave three-day old coffee in the pot for him to smack his lips on when he gets up
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=D

OT:

a wee bit of dxm, melatonin, magnesium, unisom, and a bed time spliff. i just took a 4 hour nap and now its bedtime, fine by me. being an adult and doing whatever i want is great.
 
180 mg Methadone
400 mg Tramadol
600 mg Pregabalin
2 mg Clonazepam
10 mg Diazepam
100 mg Amphetamine
100 mg Methylphenidate

I am crazy tired today as I didn't get much sleep. Because of this I have taken a small amount of amphetamine and methylphenidate. I do not find the two drugs that recreational, but they are excellent when you need a little energy boost.
 
Well woke up to a great gift on my birthday today. Someone I love very much and I haven’t talked to in a while messaged me a happy birthday. Always nice to know the universe is still there for ya lol I just took 50 mg methadone oral and 10 mg methadone snorted. I’m gonna go turn on the tv and enjoy maybe some coffee or a Pepsi mmmm ya a Pepsi it’s my birthday and I don’t care what I do today!!! Lol have a great day my fellow bluelighters!!
Joe Bean
 
Joe Bean said:
Well woke up to a great gift on my birthday today. Someone I love very much and I haven’t talked to in a while messaged me a happy birthday. Always nice to know the universe is still there for ya lol I just took 50 mg methadone oral and 10 mg methadone snorted. I’m gonna go turn on the tv and enjoy maybe some coffee or a Pepsi mmmm ya a Pepsi it’s my birthday and I don’t care what I do today!!! Lol have a great day my fellow bluelighters!!
Joe Bean
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Happy birthday, Joe :)
It is funny that you mentioned that an old friend you haven't talked to for a while. Just yesterday I got a facebook video call from a childhood friend I haven't talked to for two years. I was so glad that he called. It is funny how you can talk with some people as if you had talked with them everyday even though it have been two years.

My mix today is:
180 mg Methadone
600 mg Tramadol
600 mg Pregabalin
4 mg Clonazepam
4 mg Etizolam
20 mg Diazepam
2 mg Alprazolam
Some leftover cocaine from yesterday

I have to say that the amount if Tramadoi taken should be considered as dangerous and way to much for people in general. Hoiwever, considering the amount of benzodiazeopines I have taken, the risk for having a seizure is almost non-existing. And I have taken tramadol every day in close to 5 years. So even though I only take it in sporadically now I have build a very high tolerance. Despite of my tolerance I would never risk taking that amount of tramadol without a good amount of clonazepam and diazepam as well. I have had two grand mal seizures due to tramadol, so I am very much aware of the risks associated with dosages above 400 mg.
The second time I had a seizure from tramadol I took a handful of etizolam just before the ambulance arrived. I don't know how much exactly but it was more than 10 pills of 1 mg so I was so high on the hospital and behaved so strange that the doctor ordered a MIR scan to check for head injuries :)
 
Mid afternoon
140mg ox parachuted
1g gabapentin
Between them and now 100mg ox insulfated
Going to rail another forty just now
Waiting on the weed man bringing a half ounce of super lemon skunk
If he doesn?t let me down this is going to be a great weekend
 
upon waking:

T+0h 1.5mg bupe
T+.5h spliff and coffee
T+3h 4mg valium

beer for later. last day of real fun for a while, gotta buckle down for a solid month now.
 
I hear you it?s not easy juggling two even three lives
Family
Work
Drugs
In that order
 
Ignio said:
Happy birthday, Joe :)
It is funny that you mentioned that an old friend you haven't talked to for a while. Just yesterday I got a facebook video call from a childhood friend I haven't talked to for two years. I was so glad that he called. It is funny how you can talk with some people as if you had talked with them everyday even though it have been two years.

My mix today is:
180 mg Methadone
600 mg Tramadol
600 mg Pregabalin
4 mg Clonazepam
4 mg Etizolam
20 mg Diazepam
2 mg Alprazolam
Some leftover cocaine from yesterday

I have to say that the amount if Tramadoi taken should be considered as dangerous and way to much for people in general. Hoiwever, considering the amount of benzodiazeopines I have taken, the risk for having a seizure is almost non-existing. And I have taken tramadol every day in close to 5 years. So even though I only take it in sporadically now I have build a very high tolerance. Despite of my tolerance I would never risk taking that amount of tramadol without a good amount of clonazepam and diazepam as well. I have had two grand mal seizures due to tramadol, so I am very much aware of the risks associated with dosages above 400 mg.
The second time I had a seizure from tramadol I took a handful of etizolam just before the ambulance arrived. I don't know how much exactly but it was more than 10 pills of 1 mg so I was so high on the hospital and behaved so strange that the doctor ordered a MIR scan to check for head injuries :)
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Thanks brother! Ya had a great bday! I also took a fat tip off my weed pen that had a lil but of shatter/wax / dab whatever you want to call it not to familiar with the stuff I rather have just plain bud which is what I?m going to go back to if I want a take a hit here and there. I said it?s my bday and I was going to watch a funny movie plus pig out on theater food which it turn ruined my dinner. But now I got my damn sweet tooth gonna hit up some ice cream I think.
Today was a good day even tho I went above my normal on methadone i enjoyed myself and will be back to normal tomorrow to bad I have work and don?t get to stay home and smoke everyday I would enjoy that a lot!
oh so yes it?s crazy how people can go long periods of time without taking and when they catch up it?s like nothing has happened or time has stood still!
 
Woke up at 4:45AM this morning and smoked a little hash (the bowl I passed out smoking on last night wasn't done) then had two cups coffee & smoked 2 more bowls of cannabis then at 8AM took my 125mg methadone dose & decided to have a Greek yogurt and mixed berry parfait with granola relaxing and reading the news
 
How does your dose of 125mg all at once hold ya ? Do you get a great glow or high afterwards for how long if so?

I have the lrobelm after my glow my glow I get extremely tired and I’ve tried coffee and energy drinks which both I don’t really enjoy but I was trying to stay awake. I take 40-100mg a day but my goal is 30-50 a day to see if less is better as in blow and tiredness and I also split it up like this morning I took 40 mg and snorted 10mg and I have another 40 mg for the rest the day I usually snort half and take the rest around 4 pm. Just seeing how you like it and feel is all! Everyone have a great weekend!!
 
3g of kratom
A spliff of some girl scout cookies hybrid
Just chillin listening to music for now
I've been thinking about doing lsd or perhaps dmt (if I still had my pipe) soon. It's been more than a year since my last trip and I feel like it could be useful, though not sure if I have the right set&setting at the moment, since it would have to be a solo trip.

edit:
+more kratom, weed and a cup of green tea
 
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