How do you know when you're a meth addict?

[Aussie75]

The Question is: How do you know when you're a meth addict?

But it keeps me aware of my situation and makes me more sociable and easier to talk to and also improves my self-perception to a realistic level. This makes me much more confident and approachable in a club setting. How is that not good?

That quote alone is a resounding YES.

You will use it more and more socially until you forget how to socialise without it; your baseline will become your state of mind as a charged up meth-head. It's a journey that's unlikely, no I'll go one step further: ITS A JOURNEY THAT YOU 100% WON'T LIKE THE DESTINATION, GUARANTEED. If you sometimes feel anxious socially, or you just aren't happy with how confident you are, patching that with meth is just masking it ever so briefly. Try behavioural therapy, same end result confidence, less anxiety without a risk of jail time, massive health issues or mental health episodes.

And sure you'll read this thinking "..no thats BS I'm too switched on to let that happen", I ask you this in response:

Do you really think every meth addict or person who has died from it thought "Hell yeah, I hope I end up really fked from meth, bring it on?" when they were starting out. Of course not, because that only happens to freaks you see on YouTube or Documentaries...

 

[PlurPsyed]

But it keeps me aware of my situation and makes me more sociable and easier to talk to and also improves my self-perception to a realistic level. This makes me much more confident and approachable in a club setting. How is that not good?

its not good when you stop being able to let yourself crash band stop sleeping. Also it fucks with your sleeping habits and eating habits in general. Your metabolism gets fucked because when you're on it you can't look at food and when you're off it your body tries to make up for it so you windup lethargic and hungry as shit all the time

 

[bluedom]

That's what you think it does now. But wait until you develop tolerance and need more and more to feel what you feel. Then what?

Meth is just a simple small molecule. Your feelings are the result of a complex brain interacting with this molecule. Meth has already opened the doors that need to be open. You do not need meth anymore to feel the way you feel. If I were you, I'd say to myself: "I've learnt as much I safely can and I need to get out before this gets too far and my circle should do the same or I should get out of this circle."

If you form a habit of using meth, then your brain is going to confuse the pleasure you enjoy from being sociable and confident to taking the drug itself. When this happens you're addicted and in for a world of hurt.

But it keeps me aware of my situation and makes me more sociable and easier to talk to and also improves my self-perception to a realistic level. This makes me much more confident and approachable in a club setting. How is that not good?

 

[herbavore]

To summarize this stuff is getting into my social circle pretty successfully. I don't like it... or do I? I don't ever wanna see any of us get to the point of no return, where our neurotransmitters are so fried we need the stuff just to keep ourselves from being suicidal. I don't know if I'm overthinking this shit, but I do know we're in treacherous terrority messing with ice. I'm not entirely sure what I want from this thread, for comments or advice on our usage, thoughts and experiences about meth use and abuse, or just to vent my thoughts on it. I think I'm thinking about it way too much, even thinking about how bad it is. Lol...
Anyway. Thoughts?

You are NOT overthinking it. You are perhaps underthinking it. Listen to the voice that is telling you that this is reckless and unhealthy. If you have a choice still, you are lucky. Walk away.

 

[bluedom]

Keep worrying. You need to make the decision to stop sometime. You can do it now or when you hit bottom. I don't believe you have to hit bottom to stop.

You seem like an extremely self aware person. That's great and it will help. But that alone will not save you. You need to stop now before you lose everything that matters to you. Everything. (Sorry to be so blunt but this is what I needed to hear and I'm going to risk being presumptive).

Get help if needed.

Of course it is, I was giving a one-dimensional reply to a one-dimensional response.
I don't need to read on here to know how badly meth can fuck your life up. I've got people around me who've seen the damage this shit causes to tell me that. And people I know who have tried to quit never, ever forget how good it was watching that smoke swirl around. And more than anything, I see the risks involved with trying to improve myself in any sense by using a drug, most of all meth. But now that I've crossed the threshold of using, and now that my friend who I see regularly is showing no sign of quitting, that doubt is always gonna be in my mind when I know he's using. I don't think I can control my usage. Hard drugs aren't designed to be controllable. That's one of the most devious parts about them, that they trick you like that by redesigning and warping your brain and making it a permanant bitch to function without them. The feeling isn't even that good when you push to the limits of tweaking.
I know I'm in a trap. Otherwise I wouldn't have bothered writing this without a particular question. I only have one question, and that's a question none of you here will ever be able to tell me. All I want from this is some kind of reassurance from anyone who has any idea of what I'm going through with this drug situation. And I guess it helps just having a place to tell my story. It's sort of all around me, now that I've opened my eyes to it. I'm worried...

 

[bluedom]

I am sorry to be blunt man, but I am doing this with your best interests in mind. You're not LISTENING to what Pain wrote. You have an intellectual understanding of meth, which is good, but you don't seem to have an emotional understanding. This is sappy but you're thinking a lot and not feeling enough. Listen to your emotional voice.

Pragmatically stopping for a while is a good idea. Stop for 30-90 days (90 or greater is ideal). Then come back here and we can discuss what you think. Your thinking process right now is unfortunately being influenced by meth. This is how the slope is...

I'm not looking for someone to justify my drug habits for me, let alone in TDS out of all places. I think a better word would have been reinforcement, to hear from a complete stranger with experience on the topic to tell me what I already know instead of hearing it from my buddies. That's why I made ths. You're right about the first part you quoted, me needing to hear other Bluelighter's stories and experiences with meth to understand where I could end up with this. But I've heard enough of them beyond Bluelight to know where I'm headed. I also understand that the way meth works on your mind is designed to be uncontrollable, and that the degrading of neurotransmitters and dependency on the drug to keep you from becoming abysmally depressed in response to that, is permanant, which is why users never really ever get over meth and why 93% of users that detox relapse.
Also, I didn't mean to sound nippy about that guy, but it was a pretty one-sided comment, and I'm pretty sure a lot of addicts would respond a lot worse if you were to tell them to put down the pipe.
Anyways, thanks for the replies everyone. It's hard to comprehend how fucking bad this shit really is at this point. But I know what I gotta do. I'll miss it for a few weeks and see how long I can make the resolution last. That's probably not the best attitude to go with. But I can't let myself go like this. Thanks guys, for telling me not to fuck myself.

 

[revolve]

I'm also from Melbourne and have experienced pretty much exactly what you've described. I was very weary of meth coming into my circle of friends at the beginning, but my worries slowly diminished as the drug was around more and more, to the point where it became pretty acceptable.

Heroin not prevalent in Melbourne? You must be from the other side of town

I was a meth addict for many years. I think you know that noone can tell you how your use will progress with this drug. I know plenty of people who have used meth, they don't all follow the same trajectory. Some people get fucked up, some people have periods where they binge, some are able to keep it recreational. There's only one way to find out which one you'll be, and that you turn out to be one of the unlucky ones is the risk you take.

It's obvious you've thought a lot about the possibilities with this drug, now you need to decide what you're going to do about it.

After being around it for about 2 years i'd say the above post pretty much sums it up. We've all done it for about 2 years now in my circle of friends, but each persons use is vastly different. Some are full blown every day users that are pretty deep into their addiction (ie it basically rules everything, they owe everyone money, they lie etc..) and others have maintained the social party-like use that all intended to when we were introduced to it. You just can't really say what it'll be like for you. But just be very careful with it.. know the risks and make informed, educated decisions.

 

[morpher001]

There is no line to be crossed from user to addict, its all question of degree. In contemplating your meth usage, asking yourself if you are an addict or not is highly misleading. Meth is insidious.

 

[enjoyprogress]

I just started using & have been asking myself the same question.

Thats why I like this site. Lots of people willing to talk about it all.

 

[5000m]

I just started using & have been asking myself the same question.

Thats why I like this site. Lots of people willing to talk about it all.

Amen

 

[ShardHUNTER420]

Meth is more of a mental addiction so it usually catches you off guard if you're not weak minded you should be able to walk away whenever as you please

 

[bomber]

Yeah I can see how you feel. Im not even gonna advise you to try to be social and confident without the help of a drug if you don't feel like.But at least find an other drug to help you with this. Meth is the most damaging and fastly addicting I've ever seen. Take care m8.

 

[Burnt Offerings]

answer: when your life declines noticeably, as a direct result of your meth use, yet you continue to use.

I didn't read the rest of the thread but it's the same way you know you're addicted to anything, really...the thing in question makes your life bad, yet you continue to fuck with it in spite of that fact.

Meth is insidious.

This is just my opinion, but I disagree. I feel that the negative effects of meth make themselves pretty clearly apparent, and are fairly dramatic/immediate compared to some other "hard drugs" (like heroin for example, which is a much more "concealable" and manageable habit, at least at first...)

 

[hunter1]

I stayed away from meth from age 18-32. It almost got me in the end even after seeing the negative effects it has on people lives through 4 detoxes and 2 rehabs for other substances.

I call it ?Disney and that is because it's on ice but it's also to remind us there are NO happy endings with crystal Meth. It's not a drug you do once a month and stick to it.

It hasn't got me yet, I use perhaps monthly... but I must be aware that my brain loves the shit. Then the comedown is everything the government has sold you and ....

Smart person steps away quietly

 

[Maxstallion]

Ever since my first experience with crystal meth, and moreso the last few weeks now that I've been using it more often, I've been wondering this. Are we all doomed? Physically, yes. Mentally, well, only you can say that. Since this weekend, I've begun to associate my use with being more sociable, confident and in general being more out-there when I hit the town. As well as fidgety. Fuck me, I can't stop shaking. I've got bad enough restless leg syndrome when I'm sobre. The point being, I have an entirely new image of myself when I'm in a pub on shard. Which is kind of dangerous because naturally I'm a pretty shy bloke who doesn't easily make friends or chat up chicks on a whim. There's nothing actually stopping me from going out and having a few pots without it, but now I'm worried that I'm gonna, to some extent, feel that I need this shit to go out and have a good time. I did sign up for this, I guess...
The way meth works, it's not meant to be controllable. If you go into it thinking you can stop at any time, that you're not going to feel some kind of need for it further down the line, you're in for a world of hurt. See, I've heard as many ice horror stories as I have heroin, but where I live heroin isn't incredibly prevalant. It's still some kind of crack den, ghetto fantasy, and in the social scene that I've grown into (good ol' Melbourne), it's really frowned upon to use it at all. Ice on the other hand is like the latest trend. The new pokemon cards. It's gained some kind of acceptance, maybe because of the completely contrasting states of mind that these drugs put you into. Or maybe because my social group tells a story. But, I have two best friends that I see regularly. One of them uses it occasionally, following no real pattern and only if my other friend gets a half gram or something. Then again, he's pretty broke presently, so he doesn't have much of a chance to abuse it. My other friend is quite regular now. He's also an everyday He went on a huge binge on his work holidays, then went clean for 6 weeks or so. Then we got some about a month ago, and now he's back into using it every weekend or so. I can see patterns emerging in him already. And he's really easy to convince into scoring. I guess we're both peer pressuring each other.
To summarize this stuff is getting into my social circle pretty successfully. I don't like it... or do I? I don't ever wanna see any of us get to the point of no return, where our neurotransmitters are so fried we need the stuff just to keep ourselves from being suicidal. I don't know if I'm overthinking this shit, but I do know we're in treacherous terrority messing with ice. I'm not entirely sure what I want from this thread, for comments or advice on our usage, thoughts and experiences about meth use and abuse, or just to vent my thoughts on it. I think I'm thinking about it way too much, even thinking about how bad it is. Lol...
Anyway. Thoughts?

To each his own man. If you think you can’t quit then you probably won’t be able to, if you know you can then you can. It’s all a matter of will power.

Ever since my first experience with crystal meth, and moreso the last few weeks now that I've been using it more often, I've been wondering this. Are we all doomed? Physically, yes. Mentally, well, only you can say that. Since this weekend, I've begun to associate my use with being more sociable, confident and in general being more out-there when I hit the town. As well as fidgety. Fuck me, I can't stop shaking. I've got bad enough restless leg syndrome when I'm sobre. The point being, I have an entirely new image of myself when I'm in a pub on shard. Which is kind of dangerous because naturally I'm a pretty shy bloke who doesn't easily make friends or chat up chicks on a whim. There's nothing actually stopping me from going out and having a few pots without it, but now I'm worried that I'm gonna, to some extent, feel that I need this shit to go out and have a good time. I did sign up for this, I guess...
The way meth works, it's not meant to be controllable. If you go into it thinking you can stop at any time, that you're not going to feel some kind of need for it further down the line, you're in for a world of hurt. See, I've heard as many ice horror stories as I have heroin, but where I live heroin isn't incredibly prevalant. It's still some kind of crack den, ghetto fantasy, and in the social scene that I've grown into (good ol' Melbourne), it's really frowned upon to use it at all. Ice on the other hand is like the latest trend. The new pokemon cards. It's gained some kind of acceptance, maybe because of the completely contrasting states of mind that these drugs put you into. Or maybe because my social group tells a story. But, I have two best friends that I see regularly. One of them uses it occasionally, following no real pattern and only if my other friend gets a half gram or something. Then again, he's pretty broke presently, so he doesn't have much of a chance to abuse it. My other friend is quite regular now. He's also an everyday He went on a huge binge on his work holidays, then went clean for 6 weeks or so. Then we got some about a month ago, and now he's back into using it every weekend or so. I can see patterns emerging in him already. And he's really easy to convince into scoring. I guess we're both peer pressuring each other.
To summarize this stuff is getting into my social circle pretty successfully. I don't like it... or do I? I don't ever wanna see any of us get to the point of no return, where our neurotransmitters are so fried we need the stuff just to keep ourselves from being suicidal. I don't know if I'm overthinking this shit, but I do know we're in treacherous terrority messing with ice. I'm not entirely sure what I want from this thread, for comments or advice on our usage, thoughts and experiences about meth use and abuse, or just to vent my thoughts on it. I think I'm thinking about it way too much, even thinking about how bad it is. Lol...
Anyway. Thoughts?

If you convince yourself you can’t quit then you probably won’t if you tell yourself and believe that you can then you will. It’s all a matter of willpower. I did meth for 5 years then didn’t touch it for 6 years and did it for another 3-4. And in that entire time I never did it more than once a week. Sure it would be a 3-5 day event but then I’d recoup for 4-8 days or however long I needed to and then I’d take another perverted methcation. Also I never did more than a gram on my methventures. And often much less than than 1/4-1/2 a G most of the time. Then when I felt it was time to quit, I just quit. No big thing really. I mean sure you’ll have cravings but they’ll pass and they’re just mental. Sure you might have a few physical issues depending on how hard you hit it and for how long but they’re just the damage the drug has done to your mind and body they aren’t withdrawal symptoms like you get with heroin, not at all or even close. I allow myself the option of treating myself once in a blue moon if I feel like it and that could be 3 times a year or once every three years. I recently did a couple weeks ago with my gurl, first time in 3 years. We split half a G, though I did about 90% I went down on her and she sat on my face for 5 straight focusing hours and literally rubbed a thick layer of skin off my nose smh I thought I was only down there for maybe 45min an hour tops smh. That’s meth for ya. I was up maybe 5 days. Honestly it’s just not for me any more, ain’t my thang. When I was young I like to be up up up! Stay awake and party and fuck for daaayyyyzzz, now my kind of party is either me and my gurl or just me in bed with a decent bag of H, a couple of clean points and a great series or flick to watch on Netflix or Amazon after a delicious meal, some incredible love making followed by a nice comfy deep sleep hahaha. Now that’s my kind of party! Funny how things change or rather you do. But the people on this forum are right. Hey any drug has the potential to fuck your shyyt right on up and destroy your life IF you let it. But there’s something in particular about meth that makes that a lot harder to keep it from spiraling out of control. Plus it really truly is pure fucking poison, it’ll rot your mind and body from the outside in and inside out faster than you can say oh shit! You’re much better off just doing some nice clean H. Just don’t OD! Which is much much easier to do on H than pretty much anything else, but it’s far far less damaging to your body and if you practice risk reduction and are smart and safe and not greedy, always do a small tester shot if you’re going to shoot up and don’t try to get as high as possible and hope it wasn’t too much and just keep it to a couple or a few days a week so you don’t become physically dependent or ever have to go through withdrawal cause that is pure torture! Then you can relatively do it safely for the rest of your life. I’ve been doing it for since I was 19, I’m 33 now and although I have been addicted to it more times than I can count over the course of that time, for the last 7 years I’ve been doing just what I mentioned above, haven’t gotten sick or addicted or OD’d once, not even close. I used to use 2G’s a day, now I use less than that per week. And I do it for the same reason I like a nice slice of NY cheesecake, because I enjoy it, not cause I need it so my point is it is possible to control your use of any substance and don’t let anyone tell you any different. You’re in control, it’s just up to you. But as I previously mentioned above, meth is especially tricky in that regard. It’s not impossible to keep a handle on it and not let it get out of hand, I did it but it was a lot more difficult than any other drug I used for a prolonged period of time by a long shot and I’ve done and been addicted and gotten off of them all. It’s especially difficult if you tie meth to something sexual which I did. It literally ruined sex for me for a long long time. That’s how fucked up of a substance it is, back then I would rather lock myself in my room and watch porn and masterbate and getting weird alone than make incredible passionate love with a beautiful sexy woman! Smh, yeah.... there is definitely something wrong with that picture. And even after I quit it probably took me a year or two at least before I could enjoy just regular sex without being high like a normal person and another year to get rid of my porn addiction. So watch out, it’s nasty stuff and turns people into perverted zombie freak shows with mush for brains. Best of luck. It you ain’t going to quit, I’d at least scale things back quite a bit

 

[247csws]

When you find yourself on a drug forum asking the question.

 

[ThoseCleverKids]

I don't have an answer to your question, jsnake. I've had somewhat similar experience to yourself with meth, I think - it blows my shyness to pieces, it makes me think in ways that sober me thinks of as "adaptive". That is to say, it turns off (instantly, effortlessly) my self-doubt and anxiety. I've done it on and off (sometimes ON, like, daily, sometimes off like a year between doses) for over 15 years. I've never felt that I was addicted, although I've often dosed and instantly regretted it. Although those times were always solo and mostly in the later years. Which is important - I never noticed until recently but my pattern since the very first time has been shifting towards doing it alone, doing it at home, porn marathons...
(haha, a woman I work with recently watched a doco on meth - she came to work talking, in horrified disbelief, about some kid who'd been arrested while high and proceeded to sit in a jail cell and masturbate for 12 hours solid. I didn't tell her how crushingly, soul-destroyingly plausible that was.)
Fuck, I come here drunk and I ramble.
My point:
I've never, not once, considered myself addicted to meth. Opiates, alcohol, tobacco, most definitely. But meth, no, never. However, the last time I did it (I'd been depressed, I thought I was climbing out) spiralled me into the deepest, most ugly depression I've ever experienced. And I've had a bout on average every 18 months since I was 7. This has happened before, and I've rationalized it away ("I always get depressed, it's a coincidence that I did meth right before!" Jesus...) I am absolutely certain that if I ever do meth again, I will kill myself with 8 weeks of that day.

Your mileage WILL vary. I know people who've been doing meth since before I was born (35 years ago). And they still do it now and then. And they have lives and jobs and families. They're happy and functional. They maintain.

So what in the fuck is my point? I guess it's this: You might be an addict, you might not. I tend to think you're not, right now, because when you are, you'll know (I think). HOWEVER. You don't have to get addicted to meth to fuck yourself up with it.
Drugs aren't evil. People aren't evil. Evil is an adjective people invented. But as far as drugs go, I'm happy to assert that meth is an insidious, mercurial, tricksy fucking cunt of a drug, and if you're at the point of wondering whether you have a problem, then you could do yourself a FUCKING HUGE FAVOUR and LEAVE THAT SHIT ALONE. It won't help your shyness in the long term. It'll just give the sense that your fears are stupid and that you're a failure for being unable to conquer them without drugs. And knowing that there's an EASY, INSTANT way to turn off those fears, makes it fucking desperately difficult to try overcome them in any healthy, sustainable way.

tl;dr: You're probably not one. That's not really relevant. Have a couple pots, fuck, have a couple PINTS, and just remind yourself that NOTHING is different when you're on meth, NOTHING! Except what you're thinking and feeling. The world has not changed, it never has, it never does. Only your frame of mind changes.

Good luck, bro.
Love-
Daniel

*edit to add:*
Something I read in this thread just now reminded me I should have said this:
We've all heard retarded horror stories about drugs. Right? Gibberish. Right?
Yup.
Meth is the one drug where I've NEVER, and I mean NEVER, heard a horror story that wasn't plausible. Shit, most of them were downright boring and obvious. My best friend - even after all these years, all these awful things that have happened, my best friend who has a wife and kids and a good life now - he once watched an associate kick said associate's girlfriend to death. And they laughed, then they left and went drinking in town. I wasn't there that night, but I looked in his eyes when he told me the story. I read the local papers in our home town. The story is true. And nothing could be more soul-destroyingly mundane than a headline: Meth Addict Murders Girlfriend.

 

[247csws]

I knew I was an addict when I felt I needed it just to start my day. If I didn't have it I would become very agitated and irritable. I definitely knew I was an addict when even after losing my kids to their sperm donor I couldn't stop. I have been to rehab twice, was clean for 8 months then relapsed. I know I'm an addict and will always be an addict, the question is, will I remain active in my addiction,or will I put it back down for good?

 

[ThoseCleverKids]

Hey 247. I don't have an answer to your question, either. If I go by the statistics, then you're fucked. You will try as hard as you can, then you'll die, horrifically, and take at least one other person with you, because of your addiction.
But I'm not a statistician, and you're not a statistic (yet). We''re both just people. In this case, we're both just addicts doing the best we can.

I've spent my 34+ years being way too scared to ever have a girlfriend, let alone a kid!

I don't know the answer to your question. But I love you, human. Because you're the same as me, human. We all are. You and me, we're in this together now.

Good luck, human. I love you, I hope you die smiling.
I love you all, I hope you all die smiling.

 

[Crackedout420]

In general, I didny realize I was an addict until others started to point it out to me. Then I saw an addictions councilor and she told me i had a severe issue and would be best suited for inpatient rehab as opposed to outpatient which was my plan. Big eye opener.