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How did you guys move on after a relationship?

Junction

Junction

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 5, 2008
Messages
118
I am recovering from a break up. We've all been there at one point or another. This one is by far the most painful one I have ever been through before. It's been almost two months and still sometimes the sting just comes out of nowhere so hard and I feel like it happened yesterday.

So, I'm going to take this opportunity to ask all of you wonderful people: tips and advice on what YOU did to overcome the pain of losing a loved one.
Thanks.
 
Get out and about, hang with friends, make yourself busy during the time that you would normally have spent with your partner (if you used to spend the evening together - then go out during the evening for a few hours, keep occupied). I think its fully normal to feel the sting, shows that what you felt was real.

Good Luck
 
Like above, keep yourself busy. It reminds you that there is a life beyond that person. You are still your star player, make yourself happy. Like myself, you might realize you need to work on yourself a little before you try a relationship.

It's also very important to lay out the facts of why your relationship ended. Sometimes if you look into it enough you'll see you're better off without them. I'm not saying become cynical and shut people out and blame others. Look at it as a learning experience. You'll know what you want and what you don't. You'll learn to see red flags in future relationships.

All else fails follow the age old saying: "Easiest way to get over someone is to get under someone new". Could land you in even more trouble though. Just a thought.
 
Keep active and busy, focus on goals and try flirt with other people every now and then..

I still think of my ex from two years ago on occasion, it's infuriates me that one person can still have such a strong presence in my life years later through memories, it makes me feel helpless and dependent.. the correlation is this happens when im feeling depressed, isolated or low in life for varying reason's. I feel like it's my minds way of reminding me of a high point in my life and comparing it to where i am now so that i may attempt to make changes, but the emotions that follow with that rationale is like twisting a rusted blade into my spine.

Hence why i suggest having goals and working towards them.
 
Everyone gave great ideas so far!

Malakaix, what you said especially resonates with me. I'm normally am a pretty calm to up-beat guy. The thing that bothers me the most about this post break up pain is not so much that I miss them, want them back, blah blah. I'm over that part, finally. The worst part of it is the seeming lack of control I have over it and how I can be having a good day and then all of a sudden, bang, it's like I stub my toe on it really hard. I hate feeling like I don't have a certain control over myself like I usually do. It feels like emotional rape.

I've quickly learned that alcohol is a big no no. I will only drink these days if I am surrounded by friends and we are all having a lighthearted, good time, but even then if I get drunk I invariably still get a little dark and will dwell so I avoid it as much as possible.

I guess the key is to remain active and wait!
 
Going out and dancing til dawn on a (smallish, known) doses of LSD, realising i am me and will continue to be, regardless of how much i mighta been hurt and feel alone.
Wouldnt suggest it to everyone though
 
spacejunk I have learned also that moderate doses of LSD or mushrooms can be wonderful to "reset" your mind. If you are trying to reset from something painful however people need to realize that part of your trip is going to be dark and embrace that fact. For me it can act like a huge purge of negativity, which at the time doesn't feel so great, and then afterward I feel so much better.
 
Finding someone else, even if its just hooking up for a night always helped me put things right ;)
 
Junction, i know what you mean, but i once took 1/4 of some strong tabs in a familiar club (where i love to dance and am good friends with he dj who spins whole sets for me.
I walked home alone that night with a relation in my mind and a twinkle in my eye. I didnt need that awful girl. I'm me. Thats what i got from it.
Dont get me wrong, im not talking about full-blown ego death (or even moderate trips).
Just a gentle soul release.
Some of the gentler 2c-x family (I'm looking at you, 2C-D) could be just as helpful and profound
)

But each to their own. Some people hate tripping.
 
spacejunk said:
Going out and dancing til dawn on a (smallish, known) doses of LSD, realising i am me and will continue to be, regardless of how much i mighta been hurt and feel alone.
Wouldnt suggest it to everyone though
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This pretty much worked for me.
 
Time is also a great healer of wounds. Including all of the advice above, as time goes on things will start looking up.
 
Thanks everyone, this was really helpful. TomK, you're right, putting your "problems" into perspective definitely can make things not seem so bad!
 
Junction said:
Thanks everyone, this was really helpful. TomK, you're right, putting your "problems" into perspective definitely can make things not seem so bad!
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Sure man, not disrespecting your private life here or anything. But living for others can put you back on track. It worked for me.
 
Straight no contact.

Block and delete all of the numbers you have of hers that she can contact you with. Hers, her friends or family members get rid of. Blocking is essential because even if she calls or texts you you wont know. If you dont block it and just delete it you'll still think its her every call or text you get.

Next delete and block her on all social media networks and dont be checking hers like a stalker.

Get some hobbies. Learn something knew, go out with friends, our sure your career or school very hard . Eat healthy get in shape exercise and enjoy nature and the outdoors.

Time for some self discovery my friend. As the no contact continues each day you'll improve. The girl is the drug . Sure you'll crave but each day will get better.

Goodluck
 
nygiants1313 said:
Straight no contact.

Block and delete all of the numbers you have of hers that she can contact you with. Hers, her friends or family members get rid of. Blocking is essential because even if she calls or texts you you wont know. If you dont block it and just delete it you'll still think its her every call or text you get.

Next delete and block her on all social media networks and dont be checking hers like a stalker.

Get some hobbies. Learn something knew, go out with friends, our sure your career or school very hard . Eat healthy get in shape exercise and enjoy nature and the outdoors.

Time for some self discovery my friend. As the no contact continues each day you'll improve. The girl is the drug . Sure you'll crave but each day will get better.

Goodluck
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i have to agree with this personally. for a while at least you need them out of your mind
 
Junction said:
I am recovering from a break up. We've all been there at one point or another. This one is by far the most painful one I have ever been through before. It's been almost two months and still sometimes the sting just comes out of nowhere so hard and I feel like it happened yesterday.

So, I'm going to take this opportunity to ask all of you wonderful people: tips and advice on what YOU did to overcome the pain of losing a loved one.
Thanks.
Click to expand...

Think about all the annoying things they did. How much more freedom you have now..etc.
 
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