How common is incest?

[Coolio]

I would be happy if she lovingly rubbed my shoulders but would be uncomfortable if she sensually stroked my most erogenous places (like my thigh!!!). You don't want your parents touching you in a sexual way. IS THIS NOT OBVIOUS???

No, it's not. Having your thigh touched is not sexual. For someone to read this as sexual requires a stretch of the imagination, if nothing sexual developed afterwards. Genitals are sexual; erogenous zones are imaginary.

 

[Belisarius]

Can only repeat the "talk to your therapist" line. Throughout my life, I've always trusted such professionals more than my own friends and family (much more, sorry to say), and no matter how crazy you think it sounds you know they've always heard worse.

 

[afriendofx]

It sounds like your mom may be noticing you growing up, and wishes she had a closer relationship, and is just trying to be close.

As for exposing herself, she just might not think it's a big deal (my family all walk around naked... not without reason, but after a shower or whatever, they don't mind or anything) Chill and give it time.

 

[Fawkes]

firstly, my comment was for everyone proclaiming what is and isn't inappropriate... it wasn't specifically directed at anyone.

deja: to be fair, you did say, "My mom and dad have never touched my thigh, that's just beyond weird..." and i'm here to say my mom touched me in ways that were normal in my house and affectionate in ways that you clearly consider inappropriate or weird.

yes; i'm a girl and yeah, it's probably more common in a house of other girls to bare your bits. but i also know of families that feel like: family is family and act the same around and are equally affectionate with other family members despite gender differences.

and, i was best friends in high school with a girl from such a family. her mom would even go so far as to discuss her brother's member when he brought girlfriends over. that's just how they were; there was no prejudice. (ftr, as i'd eventually dated him, the son/brother never felt uncomfortable with his mom's affection.)

as far as the vag flashing incident - maybe she's always walked around pantiless and he didn't notice it before now. i don't know; i wasn't there. but it's perfectly within reason for the OP to say, "for pete's sake mom, put on some damn underpants!" i'm not trying to dismiss the OP's concern, but again maybe because he’s developing he's just more cognizant of how some ways they've acted previously could be taken in a sexual context.

again, i think the easiest way to uncover if this is the OP's imagination or something more sinister, is to have the OP talk to his mom and sister and express his discomfort with their behavior. they (his mom and sister) may not realize what they're doing makes the OP uncomfortable.

 

[fizzle]

No, it's not. Having your thigh touched is not sexual. For someone to read this as sexual requires a stretch of the imagination, if nothing sexual developed afterwards. Genitals are sexual; erogenous zones are imaginary.

It sounds like this just brings up different thoughts for different people. The way the OP described it, it automatically put an image of upper inner thigh into my head, which is definitely sexual. However, perhaps you are thinking lower thigh, like closer to the knee, in which case thats true, not really all that sexual. Just different assumptions I think.

 

[Matsuo Munefusa.]

firstly, my comment was for everyone proclaiming what is and isn't inappropriate... it wasn't specifically directed at anyone.

deja: to be fair, you did say, "My mom and dad have never touched my thigh, that's just beyond weird..." and i'm here to say my mom touched me in ways that were normal in my house and affectionate in ways that you clearly consider inappropriate or weird.

yes; i'm a girl and yeah, it's probably more common in a house of other girls to bare your bits. but i also know of families that feel like: family is family and act the same around and are equally affectionate with other family members despite gender differences.

and, i was best friends in high school with a girl from such a family. her mom would even go so far as to discuss her brother's member when he brought girlfriends over. that's just how they were; there was no prejudice. (ftr, as i'd eventually dated him, the son/brother never felt uncomfortable with his mom's affection.)

as far as the vag flashing incident - maybe she's always walked around pantiless and he didn't notice it before now. i don't know; i wasn't there. but it's perfectly within reason for the OP to say, "for pete's sake mom, put on some damn underpants!" i'm not trying to dismiss the OP's concern, but again maybe because he’s developing he's just more cognizant of how some ways they've acted previously could be taken in a sexual context.

again, i think the easiest way to uncover if this is the OP's imagination or something more sinister, is to have the OP talk to his mom and sister and express his discomfort with their behavior. they (his mom and sister) may not realize what they're doing makes the OP uncomfortable.

If they are manipulating him sexually then what makes you think they won't manipulate him emotionally when he comes to them with his problem?

 

[Edvard Munch]

I think you're lying. Saying that, it's not very productive. In the off chance that you aren't, I just have one question ... Is your sister hot? Like, around 12? Budding small breasts, undeveloped bony hips, smooth silky thighs and small suckable toes ... ... yes, just answer the questions for you're well-beings sake. How creepy of them!

 

[MynameisnotDeja]

Genitals are sexual; erogenous zones are imaginary.

lol... I could go into graphic details about what happens to me sexually when I'm touched lightly on my thighs but I'll spare you. Thank God for those "imaginary" zones! Woooo!

deja: to be fair, you did say, "My mom and dad have never touched my thigh, that's just beyond weird..." and i'm here to say my mom touched me in ways that were normal in my house and affectionate in ways that you clearly consider inappropriate or weird.

Ah yes, I feel you, I meant my mom had never touched my thigh in a sexual way, the way the OP seemed to be describing his mom's touches.

again, i think the easiest way to uncover if this is the OP's imagination or something more sinister, is to have the OP talk to his mom and sister and express his discomfort with their behavior. they (his mom and sister) may not realize what they're doing makes the OP uncomfortable.

Yes I agree. But I cringe thinking of such an uncomfortable conversation.

 

[Kenickie]

I think several things are happening:

*hormones from both the OP, and probably his sister (i imagine they are similar ages) which is making everything body related very uncomfortable

*the OP having to make the uncomfortable transition from adolescent to young adult male, which means redefining boundaries -- physical, emotional, etc

*maybe carelessness/lack of awareness on the part of mom of what her son is going through

i think they can all be cleared up with a conversation. albeit an akward one, but a conversation. Mom must know that her children are approaching/coming into their lives as sexual beings, and that they need to define themselves within that context.

and I agree with futurepig -- i grew up in a household where affection, nakedness, and the like were commonplace and I found nothing weird about it, where as someone else might look at my family and say -- your mom let you run around naked?! thats fucked up. as long as there is no harm being inflicted, there is no problem.

as for the title of the thread...i had to go through training when i worked for a rape crisis center on how to treat incest victims (since they are very different than other rape victims) and I will say that Mother Daughter incest is way more common than most people would like to think

 

[Coolio]

It sounds like this just brings up different thoughts for different people. The way the OP described it, it automatically put an image of upper inner thigh into my head, which is definitely sexual. However, perhaps you are thinking lower thigh, like closer to the knee, in which case thats true, not really all that sexual. Just different assumptions I think.

How is touching the upper inner thigh sexual in and of itself?

 

[Coolio]

lol... I could go into graphic details about what happens to me sexually when I'm touched lightly on my thighs but I'll spare you. Thank God for those "imaginary" zones! Woooo!

It's all in your head. You can get the same sensations from having the guy sing romantically to you. There's nothing sexual by definition about touching someone on any part of the thigh, without further evidence of sexual intent.

 

[VerbalTruist]

Coolio, erogenous zones aren't imaginary, you're good for a laugh. Even people who are in a coma or otherwise deprived of their senses (except for touch obviously) have the same reactions in their brains as those people who are fully functioning.

 

[sockpuppet]

edit

 

[Matsuo Munefusa.]

Coolio, erogenous zones aren't imaginary, you're good for a laugh. Even people who are in a coma or otherwise deprived of their senses (except for touch obviously) have the same reactions in their brains as those people who are fully functioning.

well put man

coolio at least you can form full sentences now you've come a long way from years ago haha

 

[MynameisnotDeja]

It's all in your head. You can get the same sensations from having the guy sing romantically to you. There's nothing sexual by definition about touching someone on any part of the thigh, without further evidence of sexual intent.

LOL.... uhhh.... no. I couldn't. I have been sung to romantically before and I promise that is not the case. If someone touches me on my thighs WITH sexual intent, I get aroused. If someone does the same sort of touching without sexual intent, the same sexual feelings would start to happen physically, except without the mental turn on the feeling would just be disturbing/uncomfortable. Not sure why this is so hard to believe...?

I agree it's "all in my head"... everything is. Everything we feel and experience.

 

[BubbaMoose]

Hey bro, thinking back my Mom did some weird shit while I was age 12 and under. And my Mom and step dad went overboard with freakishness while I was age 12 to 15. I thought it was strange and never told a soul. But after reading your posts I feel it is probably more common than people fess up to. Your a brave kid for coming forward. I'm 50 and been through it all, and you will be fine bro, just put your thoughts and energy into something you are passionate about,(except jerking off ,lol) seriously you will be OK, if your Mom starts to bother you tell her to cut the shit, if she won't a simple threat of calling CPS usually works...

 

[doris delay]

Regardless of what you say Coolio, nobody has EVER touched my upper-inner thigh without sexual intentions --especially one of my parents, and in turn, I also have never touched anyone's else's thigh without my own motivations..
In a perfect world perhaps we'd be able to touch anyone anywhere & it wouldn't hold the kind of weight that it does...but it just ain't the case.

 

[Lost Ego]

izzy =], thanks to you too, ur kindness made my night, i always appreciate that kind of friendliness from a stranger. for the record ur first post kinda did make me feel a little uneasy but um yeah, thanks ;].

um hey, sorry that it took so long for me to get back to u guys, i was kinda avoiding this thread n idno why.

to clear some things up, when she has touched my thigh, it was middle to upper thigh and it has happened a handful of times and i've felt uncomftorable during each incident. um as of late i've been trying to define my sexual boundaries with her more, not verbally at all but as of a month ago when she would place her hand where i felt inappropriate, i would immediately grab her hand and remove it, i would also outwardly change my mood to something noticable.

i still cant be sure if when she flashed me if it was intentional or not, she was a coke head back then and something wierd could have easily been going through her head though i should admit she has always been a relatively good mother and my point of this was not to bash her. she did manipulate my emotions alot when i was younger - kinda still does - and i dont think i trust her enough to address this issue. i still feel like since i was going through some extreme changes around when it occured, i dont think i could have possibly mustered anything up from "eek" to "ew mom thats gross", i just couldnt have, i had just barely started masturbating and looking at vaginas in that fashion and i was utterly shocked. i have a theory that this incident kinda messed me up in the sense of social/sexual boundaries but its all speculation n i think im just wierd.

nudity certainly is not commonplace in my household or atleast not to me, my mom will notify me that she is getting changed when im around so i can cover my eyes, yes i still do that.

my sister is a bit older than me, though only 5 years i suppose it could still be awkward because of that age thing. i still think my sister was checking me out, i dont have much of a doubt about it. lately when i see her looking at me in that way i just give her a dirty look and walk away. i think she has been getting the hint although her eyes do tend to wander still. i do have a lock on my door but i always get a huge hassle whenever someone knocks on my door and proceeds to jiggle the handle, "why is ur door locked" or w/e.

whoever suggested move out, im only 17 for now but i plan to. i just need a job and a month and a half to turn 18

edit: to those of u kids who think im trolling, joking with this thread --- im actually very serious and i do tend to type with character, an odd tone, but what can i say im a quirky fellow. plz dont accuse me of joking about a serious matter about my life, i wouldnt joke about something like this, grow the fuck up.

 

[MynameisnotDeja]

Is your sister weird in other ways?

 

[mymindisgoo]

Incest fantasies are very very common and like most other 'twisted' fantasies not a big deal unless one acts on them in a way that violates ones own morals, hurts someone, etc. But in this case I think the incest fantasy is being entertained by the OP.

i would totally get with my cousin, she is slammin.