Man, MDMA will change your brain forever. The experience is simply too powerful for it to be any other way. Just the fact that you have to recover your neurotransmitter levels means that changes are occurring as opposed to not using the drug.
It doesn't have to be a bad thing. I had the best roll of my life on Sunday and I was really worried about brain damage at first because the hangover was severe, and I had such a powerful experience that I left my body and tapped into a type of universal consciousness. I thought I was going to die until my friend reassured me I was fine having take 150mg. It was one of the most powerful experiences of my life and I wouldn't expect to feel normal for at least a week or two after that.
It doesn't have to be bad if it changes your brain! Isn't that the point? I feel so much more social now, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. If you're really that worried, focus on diet and exercise (yoga helps a ton). I hadn't used in 18 months, reminded myself that I wasn't abusing it, and that using it again this year would be stupid and playing with fire. I would only be pissed at myself personally if I ever used it any more than once a year, considering my history of overuse in 2010.
I only use MDMA once every two years or so now, it's just way too powerful of a drug to use on a regular basis at all. I wouldn't worry about it, the panic disorder could be unrelated. You might have brought out feelings and emotions that are uncomfortable to face maybe? I hide all sorts of shit from myself and Mdma shows me the truth.
Don't worry about brain damage. Mdma is a gift but it demands respect. If you are going to redose, only do it once 1.5 hours after your initial dose at 30 - 50% your original dose. This will really minimize the damage. Stick to 150mg tops in my opinion and get the pure. Don't use every weekend let alone every month let alone every year. I took a 3 year break at one point. This past time was 18 months and it was so hardcore, I just would not use it for at least another 2 years. This drug really has to be respected if you care about your health.
Well don't get into benzos that's for sure. Unless you can take them sparingly. I really recommend using it VERY sparingly because that way you won't worry about brain damage at all (I mean... if you do it once every 18 months? Fuck it, that's totally safe in my opinion at the dosage I mentioned). It's when you abuse it frequently (even once every month is WAY too much in my opinion) that you will encounter problems. Otherwise, it's one HELL of a drug!!!
