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Hey opiates, FUCK YOU!!!

Stickman Roxy

Stickman Roxy

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 13, 2015
Messages
155
I'm done. You have taken mostly everything and more importantly everyone I love away from me. We had a good ride but you started getting a bit creepy. You started getting lazy and not working like you used to. You became a jealous little bitch, anything or anyone that wasn't you had to go. You won't even let me shit! It's like I hade to sneak one every other week. You took my wife from me. You took a mother away from a little boy. You've taken soo much from me with nothing in return. You just make me forget about for a while. You're a dick. I hate you. If you had balls, I would kick them. I'm done. Fuck off!
 
Stickman Roxy said:
I'm done. You have taken mostly everything and more importantly everyone I love away from me. We had a good ride but you started getting a bit creepy. You started getting lazy and not working like you used to. You became a jealous little bitch, anything or anyone that wasn't you had to go. You won't even let me shit! It's like I hade to sneak one every other week. You took my wife from me. You took a mother away from a little boy. You've taken soo much from me with nothing in return. You just make me forget about for a while. You're a dick. I hate you. If you had balls, I would kick them. I'm done. Fuck off!
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Of course none of this was your doing.
 
opiates said:
It's OK boo, no hard feelings on my part...I'll still be here once you've realized what a terrible mistake you've made. I'll embrace you with open arms when that time comes. ;) xoxo - opiates
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...
 
Cosmic Trigger said:
Of course none of this was your doing.
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Exactly.
Actually these are probably the feelings people around you want you to feel about yourself and you just can't let that happen.
Regardless of your addiction I'd suggest that you don't put yourself down like that. It will only make things worse for you and easier for those who pick on you.

You can do whatever you set your mind to, and that includes quitting if you want. Not because of them -- but exclusively for you! For your happiness, your future, your health, your wellbeing.

You deserve being treated with respect. And there are various ways to achieve that. Quitting is one of them, but you have to ensure you are doing this for the right reasons so you have more chances to beat this for once and for all. If you need help, here is the place.

Take care!
Erik
 
I realize that I made the choice to start using and this is a bit of a corny thread but it's how I'm feeling at the moment.
My wife became a herion addict and ripped our family apart and I couldn't handle life after that. I was/am weak and eventually became what I hated her for. I had been on pills forever but it never got out of control. I would take 1 or 2 whatever whenever I could get it but after she left and I was suddenly a single father and had to deal with reality, I couldn't. Tomorrow will be my 6th day clean and have never been more serious about getting my shit together for my son. I've spent way to long numbing pain. Nobody knows I've been doing this so it's hard going at it alone but for the first time in a long time I feel hopeful
 
deadendgame said:
quitting is only half the battle
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Indeed.
It's for life imo/e. It gets better but we have to be always watchful, can't off guard as most of the times relapses happen months before one actually get back on action.
 
Erikmen said:
Indeed.
It's for life imo/e. It gets better but we have to be always watchful, can't off guard as most of the times relapses happen months before one actually get back on action.
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Excellent point and often forgotten or overlooked. Relapses don't just happen spontaneously. Often there are warning signs that go intentionally ignored.

I relapsed two months ago without ever touching my DOC. Technically I didn't lose sobriety because I didn't use, but my mind was absolutely there. I had grown complacent and over confident in my sobriety and caught the relapse at the last minute before I sacrificed sobriety. I thought since I had two years clean I no longer had to stay vigilant...I was mistaken.
 
Moreaux said:
Excellent point and often forgotten or overlooked. Relapses don't just happen spontaneously. Often there are warning signs that go intentionally ignored.

I relapsed two months ago without ever touching my DOC. Technically I didn't lose sobriety because I didn't use, but my mind was absolutely there. I had grown complacent and over confident in my sobriety and caught the relapse at the last minute before I sacrificed sobriety. I thought since I had two years clean I no longer had to stay vigilant...I was mistaken.
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Absolutely. I never had an issue with getting through physical wd (as terrible as it can be, plenty of folk can tough through it). As they say, 'once the acute phase is over, then the hard work starts'. I've never had the vigilance yet to get through it, I'll always end up sleep walking into making another cup of pod tea, tell myself I'm not going to drink it whilst I am in fact drinking it.

I really hope this time is the time. I don't remember enjoying sobriety so much in a long time (perhaps ever). Plus my anxiety is lower than its been in a decade. Coupled with my motivation not to be a 40 year old junkie, let's hope those factors are enough.
 
Day 7... feel like shit but doing good. I have these insane cravings in the morning and a bit of muscle pain but other than that I'm good physically. I keep thinking about getting a sub on Monday. How ridiculous would that be? 9 days off H and then do a 3 or 4 day sub taper to give my mind a break. Strictly from a detox POV, would that throw me back into WDs?
 
You may experience some withdrawals if you go on a suboxone taper. I suggest using other comfort meds.
 
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Yeah, I've got Kpins and clonodin but it's not cutting it. Subs are a stupid idea. How about I just fucking quit?lol fuck being able to feel sucks
 
+1 OP
Screw opiates!!!!! They are lying, manipulative, jealous, and greedy. They eat their way through your life while keeping you all warm and comfy, until the destruction is done and your left with a life you don't recognize and no more warm comfort. They want everything and will leave you with nothing.
SCREW EM
 
First of all, congratulations for having gone that far and for the strength! I'm sure things will get better very soon.

Now, regarding suboxone tapering it could be tricky as they have a long acting effect and eventually it will be even harder to come off of those. I say this based on my own experience with methadone which seems to be a little similar when it comes to withdrawals. I remember mine lasted 30 days and the cravings were beyond normal. I was a total mess for more than 5 months.

Like w0w0mg says, I would also and strongly suggest using other meds.
Wish you a good luck and perseverance. You'll get there.
Take care,
Erik
 
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