December Flower
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2020
- Messages
- 3,819
Hello, my processors are a bit busy at the moment due to reading this reply,Yep and so've I. You think that does not hurt me?!
.. Only I haven't REALLY lost them to 'the drug'. Theoretically, yes. Factually, no.
I've lost them to dangerous drug - MIXING where they tried to potentiate a high from piss - poor cut - to - fuck 'street heroin' with insane amounts of other sedatives like benzos or alcohol or both (done the same myself).
I've lost them to totally avoidable overdose caused by contamination of what's sold as 'heroin' with super - potent opioids like fentanyl and various analogues.
I've lost them to untreated and unregarded mental health problems for which reckless drug consumption became the only available recourse (and this was ALSO me at one point in my generally fucked - up life).
I've lost them because stupid politicians thought that sending the 'right' message was somehow more important than to provide needle exchanges or to allow the set - up of safe injection facilities.
And oh. DID I DARE TO MENTION.
.. I have DIRECTLY lost people who mattered to me, through them desperately seeking assistance on how to better cope and manage their lives, ONLY to be indoctrinated with the idea that they never had a hope in hell of being 'normal', that a simple chemical could somehow 'enslave' them life - long, and that all they had to look forward to for the rest of their lives was to struggle in miserable self - imposed deprivation day after day after another pointless DAY.
.. And right after that crushingly hopeless 'prognosis' they not - so - very - fucking - surprisingly CHOSE to administer a deliberate OD to themselves. And we still call that self - defeating garbage some kind of valid 'treatment', YES??
... but sure ; it's the fact I still admit to enjoying it for pleasure while having abandoned the notion that it's some indispensable elixir I somehow need to cope with being alive, that's the REAL damn problem
I'm sure there are lots of social cues I'm missing here, I want to apologize in advance for my reply, as I'm sure to fuck it up completely, many words written in capital letters, that is usually anger(?) or something, I'm not sure. I'll just wing it:
I'm not entirely sure what to say to that.
I'm not judging you, I just can't and don't want to watch it happen, whatever outcome.
I do not believe you when you say it is for "pleasure".
I really do not know what specific context you are talking about, likely something I'm missing.
I feel sorry that you also have lost someone, but please try to find another way of coping, this will only destroy you.
Hope that was a positive answer, but I dread the shitstorm that is following me whatever I write in this forum. I really mean well, but my ASD makes it very difficult to communicate without upsetting everyone. I hope I didn't insult anyone. Sorry. Good luck to you two, I hope you can live without it one day