You know my friends and such biggest complaint about me is I kind of put my will onto other people like back when I was a lot worse and literally in withdrawal everyday (mostly) I think I do that here as well I just have that effect on people always have so I stand by what I said I'm sorry for letting you down bro and I do actually feel guilty just for letting you down which in turn will inspire me to try harder to come off the dope honestly though the only reason I'm using is out of boredom
I know you can do it, you're young and you got a lot of energy.
This drug just makes me too emotional, and I'm scared for the life this might rob you of.
I feel like that all you want is footing, something to rely on,
and this drug has become something you 'can rely on', in a sense that it washes away the worries.
In life you have to learn that
you are the only thing that can give you grounding,
that can give you a stable situation, that can make you accept this fucked up life us humans have created. (and it is fucked up, no doubt about it)
I can't and don't want to imagine the pain you are going through when trying to get this beast off your back, I've smoked Opium for about a week in Spain, and even that had a strong allure. But especially when you get bored, or are craving for it, you have to remind yourself why you are doing this.
You want to get better, right? I really hope that with everything you got you will fight this fucking monkey.
I like you(to the extent I'm capable of, I'm not God) and I would hate to see you fall into a pit from where you can never escape. Get better. Get your life back. I'm sorry for making you feel bad