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Opioids Heroin/Opiate Withdrawal just f***ing SUCKS

Benzos are way worse, but when I'm taking opiates, I don't need benzos anywhere near as much. I can get by on like 2mg kpin a day, maybe 4 if it's a bad day.

I agree. My panic attacks were horrific before I got on benzos, I honestly think I would just flat out die without them. I constantly felt like I was having a heart attack and about a year into that I mean you can only show up at the ER room claiming you are dying so many times before you get the xanax and eventually kpin or valium since I was in a perpetual state of panic. I can only imagine how bad it would be and I honest to God think I would end my life. I keep a huge supply on hand in different locations, I'm crazy about it. I've been on them for so many years now. The worst thing is hitting opiate wd and then I'm not thinking straight and take like 50mg xanax to knock myself out for some hours. It's so stupid, if that is how I am going to face withdrawal, then fuck it, I may as well be shooting dope instead of sniffing it.

But yeah... normally 2 - 4 mg klonopin I think would be WAY harder for me to get off. My panic attacks are the reason I went back to opiates after I got through acute withdrawal months in last autumn. My panic disorder is extreme, like it honestly could not be any worse. My panic disorder is also way worse than my chronic pain, which is, well, excruciating. But two years into having untreated chronic pain I started getting the attacks. All the time. Every day, several times and I was never calm. They put me on seroquel (like a gram a fucking day) and it made everything worse and that's when I decided you know that doctors are not really to be trusted.

I can only chill on those benzos when I'm chilling on that heroin that's the thing. I'd way rather be a heroin addict because I don't really notice any side effects. A little constipation but I have supplements for that (inulin works amazingly well), and sex drive issues but since I've been doing yoga for hours each day and gained a lot of weight, I don't have that problem at all anymore like I used to. I'm a horny H user which seems kinda weird... for years I had lost my drive, it's totally the exercise and the testosterone boost from it. If anyone is having that problem I'd recommend yoga for sure... I mean I'd recommend it anyway, yin yoga is my religion pretty much.

I completely agree with you by the way but I don't know if I can stay on like 2mg klonopin a day for life? I really should try to be doing a very, very slow taper with those... but I need my fix to accomplish anything. I can't teach myself to barely get up for a glass of water without opiates. I know my original depression, anxiety, and especially BPD (fear of abandonment is a core symptom, so I fear when the drug leaves me... it's weird, but I was kicked out of my house at a young age for being a pothead and rejected by my family for that reason and I think that's where some of it comes from... I mean fuck I was like a top student I didn't get it at the time) makes things a lot worse for me when I cut back on anything.

Thanks for reminding me of that. If I'm going to be hitting wd for say 3 days and I know I'm getting my fix then, that is the time that I abuse benzos. Or, when I was in PAWS from oxy last year after going from 150mg+ and heroin to 30mg abruptly, months later, the panic attacks were so bad that I started doing that. And right away I knew. I can't deal with this. So I got some H and went back to my regular benzo dose that I'm scripted (not that it really matters that I'm scripted or not... never trust a doctor is an axiom of my life now).

I guess I sound like a bit of a pussy but I mean I've made things tough on myself. There was childhood sexual abuse as well. That I have vague memories of, I hide it from myself but I know damn well what happened. That's why I had girl problems growing up and now I'm a more confident man because I've accepted what happened. I probably sound weak, but opiates are everything to me. I just mean that they enable me to live the life I'd like to live. I have the potential to work, the potential to have a happy girlfriend or sex life, the potential to well... maybe save a little cash lol. The potential to get a career going down the road, after easing my way back in (I am getting this part time job tomorrow like I'm going in arms raised fuck, unemployment is shit). I just think a lot of things fucked with me and if I have to take heroin and oxy to feel normal, so be it.

Benzos freak the hell out of me. I take valerian now a lot of the time instead, and chamomile tea. But I still need that 2mg kpin a day or I'll freak. And I'd rather be in physical agony than freaking out like that.
 
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A gram of seroquel. Never heard of such a thing. Especially prescribed. Bro.
 
As things stand, I want to be a heroin addict for the rest of my life. I can't commit. It's the only way I've ever found to be happy and with all this back pain... like honestly fuck it. Panic attacks. BPD. Girl problems I can't even get a good lay. I hate my life so much and I'm trying really hard to change but I'm trying hard with the help of heroin. I'm taking my drugs for now at least. I can't see myself ever changing my mind. I love the drug way too much. There's just way way way way too much going on right now, I might end up dead if I try to quit. I cut my arms and shit when I try to stop and I was 3 months in last year and freaked cause of the panic attacks and insomnia, went right back to dope even worse than before.

It treats everything wrong with me and I haven't really experienced any serious negative consequences from my use. I've stirred up more shit from my cannabis habit back in the day. That is very brave of you to ask me but you are asking someone who is refusing to listen to anyone. My one buddy is really trying to get through to me and he just can't. I already got the money together for another gram and I have a job interview tomorrow. My life is moving forward as things are and I spent all of last autumn trying to quit.

My reaction to that was shock and fear. I was completely shocked but I mean what else is there to say when I know I can't commit. Like I want to... I'm sitting here sick waiting for fucking pills to kick in, wasting my time braindead until I am rejuvenated by the oxy. I don't even think I can keep away from the needle at this point. I would need subs. That is for sure. And I don't know how that works in my country. It's a scary, frightening thought as I can't handle how bad my life has got at this point. And things are picking up for me. I got out of a nasty relationship and I'm feeling better now. I'm getting job interviews like... I don't know I just don't know. There are so many problems and life is short.
 
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ShroomySatori said:
Absolutely I have. Presently I'm too caught up in heroin. I need that fucking hit every 2 or 3 hours. I'm a completely functional addict so long as I have it. I got up to 200 lbs from daily yoga when I was using. I just think heroin should be legal. I'd sniff the shit every day for the rest of my life. I don't think I'm ready to quit. I'm a fool caught up in this shit. The high is TOO good it cures my chronic spinal pain, BPD, panic disorder... everything wrong with me, it makes me the person I want to be. I just need it ALL the time so fucking legalize becauseI know what I'm doing.

I'll figure it out, I'd really like to try subs. Cold turkey with nothing but benzos has driven me insane. I keep puking and I'm losing the weight I put on. I need the fucking heroin. I have too many problems I'll die a heroin addict and I don't even care. The high is a medication to me. I honestly can't imagine my life without the raw.
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I feel your pain man. I'm 8 days off subs and feel like a new man but I used percs and H for 7 years.
I highly suggest using methadone for the initial 2-3 days off dope, than switch to suboxone. Take the suboxone for NO MORE then 2 months, you wanna taper down each week. Than take a sliver of a suboxone once a day, do that for a week than just end it. At that point it's all mental. Trust me, I didn't think I could do it but if you have the will
Power, anything possible.
 
Thank you. I'll keep that in mind if/when I decide to stop. I know that subs will have to be involved because tapering is what has worked for me before (relapsing). Going straight to nothing is way too hard on my body and like I don't want to lose 50 lbs.

Thanks again! I have a buddy who is giving me some subs to try.
 
Subs got me clean, I will stand by them forever. Shroomy, my doc wanted me on sub maintenance, where I would have been basically on the medication for life, such as with any disease. You have a back problem that I would imagine justifiably requires medication. The trend I have noticed is a good amount of addictionologists would prefer their patients on sub maintenance. I used for 6 years and got off suboxone in a few months, but you may want to consider finding a doc that will assist your needs. Suboxone IS a painkiller, and best thing about it was it killed cravings to use.
 
ShroomySatori said:
I'm going to have to look into that for sure.
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Do you really mean that? I think you're just tryna get along. You have mentioned many times that oxy and H are treating more then just pain and that you would be on them for the rest of your life. If you are serious, I would be willing to quit with you. We would have to be able to find a way to hold each other accountable but I'm dead serious. You do it and I'll do it.
 
Woah, I was really taken aback by that. My first thought was not a thought it was a shock through my body of sheer terror. I'm really struggling to see the benefit of quitting. I actually just have to take a moment to process what you just asked me. I am in shock, that's all I can say right now. I'm not saying no. I would want to quit with subs, and I don't even know how that works in my country, if I just go to a doctor and tell them I'm hooked? I have connections that can get me into a place like that ASAP through extended family but I'd have to really commit. I just don't know what to say right now. I'm not saying no, but I'm struggling to see why I would quit right now. It's my only source of happiness... I guess maybe that's a reason right there. I don't know, that just scared me out of my skin. I don't think I can do it to be honest but I need to have a talk with my buddy about this. There's a friend who has been encouraging me recently but he hasn't gotten through to me yet. It's like nobody can get through to me. I will listen, but I won't.

At this point, my life is such shit that I am more concerned about suicide than my addiction problems. I think I'd end up dead if I tried to quit. My life is improving in a lot of ways, I have my heroin helper, and I got out of a really nasty 5 year relationship that was totally fuelling my habit even worse. At this point tbh I'm just trying not to kill myself, get a job, and get my life going again because I've been socially isolated for so long that I want to die. I'm fighting to change this but the only reason I have any hope left at all is because I'm using opiates. The back pain ruined my 20's and I'm not going to let it ruin my 30's too. I found my medicine.

I feel like shit that was very brave of you to ask. Subs did sound appealing to me, I wasn't lying. As they were explained as a painkiller that kills cravings for heroin. I would absolutely want the type without the opioid receptor blocker or whatever in case I get in a serious accident (from what I know). What concerns me is where I was 5 years ago, where I am now, and where I will be 5 or 10 years from now. For now everything is fine (really, things are picking up, I am getting away from a mean girlfriend, and I'm applying for jobs, my confidence has really improved and I'm doing much better than a few months ago) but what about when I'm shooting a gram a day in a few years? I better have a good engineering job by then, that's for sure, to pay for that shit. I just don't fuckin have it in me to do it without some sort of help, maybe subs really could help? My tolerance keeps rising and it's getting to be insane. Well, not insane, but I never would have sniffed 2 or 3 points in a day a few years ago. Of this raw, it probably would have killed me to do that. I was doing like 5mg bumps and flying high. Now it's 40mg for a decent hit.
 
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Shroomery I totally feel you on the benzos thing.
EVerytime I taper off I use extra h to get through it , as I'm doing now. And when I "attempt" to kick h I end up using benzos again and get re addicted and then relapse at some point with opiates again and it keeps going .
And man I know what you mean about the multiple spots multiple stashes!!!!
I have 4 spots I keep benzos separated in case one gets found or whatever the case , that's so crazy how we all think a like . Tonight's my last night to play , I've been hiding this for 5 years as well and my birthday is in a month I'm sick of this shit . I'm functional I have all As in college honors I work pay bills (somewhat) parents don't mind as long as I do good in school if I'm short here and there for certain bills. Overall I'm a very high functioning opiate addict compared to the average by far, but I'm sad and hopeless . I don't feel emotions as much, being able to pay for dope gets old after a while , you'd think never being sick is fun it's not .

I'm tired of seeing my friends go on vacations and have fun and I keep imagining how fun it would be to even leave 200 miles away from where I am for a few nights , but none of us can we're all tied down to where we live to pick up sacs . So even if I had unlimited money I could never go to Thailand for example, or anywhere really how would you plan to smuggle your h ? That's the one thing I really can't stand, as well as the stash spots, having that secret , having to lock the door and double check to shoot up, not carrying for sex during long periods , I'm just tired of being tied down to where I am.

I always play this game in my mind wondering which celebrity is addicted or rapper and try to catch patterns to see if they're tied down to their city and never tour it tells me something lol. Like chief keef and others they go where lean and pills are to stay well (I assume) cause it makes me feel better about being a weak faggot.

I also hate seeing friends who got clean travel to cities and not wake up sick , it makes me so jealous I can't go on Facebook causof that. I had to let that out thanks for hearing me out bluelight

Anyways let's try tomorrow, I got a few days off for the weekend , next week is finals , presentations , projects turned in very busy and if I don't kick now I won't be strong enough to keep going, especially if day 2-3 ends up being Monday Tuesday I'm screwed . Ugh I'll be on here so much when I'm sick, it's my NA meetings and my way of staying on track.

And on the rehab topic , I agree there's nothing they can offer other than medication prescription, a nice bed and location , and professionals to talk to about your inner problem s causing addiction. If you understand all that though and have s way to get the mess on the street it's the same essentially (or from what my friends who've gone 6 times told me ) I never went my parents locked me in my room and gave me bread and soup (Russian parents) and told me to shut the fuck up
 
I'm functional too. Nobody knows except my previous girlfriend and she didn't know for the first 3 or 4 years until withdrawal started to become very apparent. That is crazy you hide your benzos too! I am SO scared of being without them... I don't go anywhere without a benzo. I won't leave my house without them. It's crazy... I kind of want to address that before the opiates you know?

We seem so alike. I didn't use opiates in school, but I would have gotten better marks if I had. I still graduated as an engineer with a physics background stoned the whole time. I am more functional on opiates by far than on weed. Nobody has noticed a single thing. I still feel emotions... I think benzos numb me more than opiates. I can still get irritated at stupid shit on opiates, get sad, like I'm not some drooling zombie. I'm smart as fuck in fact when I'm on them.

lol. I just went on vacation to the tropics from up north here for two weeks and it was sheer torture for me. From the moment I booked my flight, I regretted it, and when I got home I immediately got more heroin and it was the happiest thing ever (sadly). I hated my vacation - I didn't make a single friend, didn't talk to any hot chicks when I could have, I was just lost and miserable and alone thinking about my next hit.

We seem very alike. I can't quit. I really just can't do it, maybe others have it in them but I have way too many problems. That's what I tell myself at least and it's true - I DO have a lot of problems that most people don't and most heroin addicts would not have. When you're this mentally the fuck ill and having chronic pain so bad it makes things fucked.

I am really jealous of my friends who just went on to engineering jobs after school. I resent that I did the same thing but injured my back 6 months in and was fired for taking time off to go to the hospital. I was forced into signing a legal agreement on the spot for 2 weeks pay, that I wouldn't sue. My career life was pretty much ruined. I can't handle it I can't I can't I just can't. I'm apply for retail now and I'd be overjoyed with it. I won't consider another career until I have heroin money saved up so I know I won't be sick. It does get old... then you remember what being sick is like and it's a huge wakeup call. Oh right. That's why I do this.

I'm keeping on the shit for now, I've got some real momentum going and even those few days I was sick threw me way off course.

Chronic back pain in my fucking spine seriously ruined my life though, and the doctors did FUCK ALL about it so FUCK THEM ALL BURN IN HELL. They did not give ONE FUCK about me I even pissed heroin, morphine, codeine, oxy, and various benzos when I was tested for pain management and they just said I passed. Nobody could help me fix my back, so I fixed it the only way I know how. So I don't call myself I weak bitch when I spent two years going from 220 lbs to 150 or even 130 because I was in so much pain I could not take a WALK around the fucking BLOCK. THAT is why I use and I'll NEVER stop until the day I die. My spine is seriously fucking MANGLED. When I hurt my back, I lost my house. My beautiful house and grow op. I lost my girl eventually, and I lost my car. I lost all my engineering savings. The pain became the focus of my life. For 2 years, all I thought about was how I could make the back pain go away. I tried literally everything, all the alternative treatments. Eventually, I just said fuck it and bought a gram of dope. Immediately after this, or shortly thereafter, I was in school getting a second degree and then moving across the country for work. I understand my decision and stand by it. I couldn't fucking walk from my place to the lake to go fishing for fucks sake, that's how bad the pain was even with a 12 pack of beer a day and more weed than I could smoke. I'm better off this way, I'm not someone who didn't have extreme pain and got hooked.
 
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Gosh guys, I feel all yer pain, I'm so glad I'm not alone, I've been hiding my use for 8 months smoking the shit, what is a godsend is lyrica & tramadol together, they really, really help with the withdrawals, I'm so scared of the thought of leaving my country (Ireland) coz I won't be able to get the shit, withdrawal scares the hell out of me even though my use is only 8 months, my ROA is smoking.

I hate myself for doing this, I mean I'm so disgusted and sickened with myself, I have no money & I wake up every morning in withdrawal, straight out to my kitchen room & smoke a few lines

I so want to quit so badly, I've no support, I'm 35 so have no support from family coz I'm an adult now & don't need them according to my father. I Fucking hate their guts for what they NEVER done to me. I'll get my revenge. One day they will need them & I'll fuck them in a nursing home.

Sorry for rant BLers, I needed to get it out.
'I hate myself & I want to die'
 
Me too. I hate myself, but I don't hate my decision. Heroin is the only thing that gave me pain relief after my accident. I'm essentially using a more powerful form of medication than I'm prescribed because they never bothered to raise my dose due to hysteria. What kind of opiate user, even using as prescribed, could get by on 20mg oxy every day with pain so bad I can't even fucking walking? When I used to be an athlete and gym rat. I am 200 lbs again and looking great for one reason: heroin.

So I'm not disgusted and sickened by myself, I just feel trapped. I see no other way to treat my back pain. I mean, I didn't go straight to H. I gave it two years of chiro, physio, acupuncture, chinese cupping, massage therapy... like nothing even helped one little bit. My pain was getting worse, and I started getting panic attacks too. I was also becoming an alcoholic and I haven't had a drink since I started using.

I guess I just don't want to quit because I remember how much pain I used to be in, and the doctors do fuck all about it. They throw me off and it's bullshit. They wouldn't investigate past a few mri's. When I can point out the exact facet joint that is fucked and they know it, they still don't do shit because they want my money.

I treat myself and I don't give a fuck. My parents threw me out for smoking weed, if they knew about this I'd just kill myself to avoid the conflict and throw it in their face. Things are picking up for me too. I'm finding work again because I'm not in pain anymore. I'm meeting new girls after having a shitty relationship for a really long time. I do two hours of yoga a day and I'm in impeccable shape apart from the extreme pain if I don't use. I'm living the life I want to live. I'm not going to quit to be reduced to 130 lbs again and have a hard time walking without a cane, living in extreme pain chronically just to say I'm "clean". I'm a vegetarian and cleaner than most people as it is.

My birthday is soon and I'm probably going to shoot up for it. That's my commitment. If it kills me so be it. I died that day in the gym when I hurt myself permanently. My life has never been the same and I've been treated like SHIT by employers. If it happens again someone is getting their fucking face kicked into the curb. I have to lie and say I don't have chronic pain or they will fire me "without cause" it's such bullshit and has happened three times. Shortly after they found out about my condition which is really hard to hide (the back pain, not the addiction). It's not like I can do squats when I'm on heroin fuck. I do very selective yoga asanas.

Just venting too I guess. Chronic pain is absolute shit and I got it at 23. Like what the fuck? Fuck this life that's all I have to say, and I consider myself already dead so to me every day I live is a day I wouldn't have had without heroin in my life. I sniff but my nose is getting sick of it and my veins are calling out to me.
 
I'm right there with y'all. My husband and I blow through both our oxy scripts (we are both chronic pain patients who can't take their scripts properly) in two weeks and then go through two weeks without. I'm a bit past the first week. I'm sort of feeling more normal thanks to Kratom and some other scripts and OTC stuff.... but don't get me wrong. I'm still in fucking hell. I can't sleep through the night, I have a job I have to show up for, I cry and stupid shit, etc... u guys know the drill.
I'm a migraine sufferer and have chronic neck pain from tearing my vertebral neck arteries years ago. Anyway, I'm stuck in an awful migraine cycle... my other meds don't do shit for my headaches...
anyway my husband gets his refill next Thurs and then I get mine the week after. One day we'll have to quit. It's insane to do this every two weeks. And yet... I'm just not ready to give it up. I wish I didn't have to but I know i will at some point. I mean,, it's not cool to only be functional for half a month. Someday....

anyway im just saying hi. I totally understand where u all are coming from. None of u are alone. I use to be embarrassed admitting here how often I'm in withdrawal... until I discovered that so many others are in my exact situation...
 
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I don't really want to either. It's scary. If you ever decide to pull the trigger on it though then look me up.
 
gmlifer said:
I don't really want to either. It's scary. If you ever decide to pull the trigger on it though then look me up.
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Yo it's really cool that you brought up the idea, but I don't want to quit, and even if I wanted to, it would be so problematic that I don't think it would work out. I'm not 23 anymore... I have NO time to waste.

I am personally sick and tired of being an unemployed engineer because I have chronic pain and every single time I'm treated like shit for it. Last time, I was even ridiculed and laughed at for bringing in an ergonomic chair. It has made me someone who hates and rebels against society and I have no qualms with railing heroin and what will soon enough turn into a shooting gallery. I don't give a fuck if this is how society treats some of its most suffering members those in chronic pain. I'm assuming at least half of you have some sort of chronic physical ailment. I can't even walk without the shit well I can it just hurts so bad it's miserable. What kind of life is that? And then 30 minutes later I need to lie down on my heating pad. FUCK THAT.

All I want is a fucking job a place in society. I have an interview tomorrow and I'm going to hustle my way in. I am going to fight for that job and get it. I'm not going to say a fucking word about my back injury because it is none of their business. I have other ways of explaining the holes in my resume. I'm really excited about this opportunity and it would be a wonderful step forward for me. It would get me out making new friends and meeting people, feeling like I have a place in life, even if it's just a little part time job. And I can go from there. I'll have money for my next fix, after all.
 
CfZrx said:
thats a good warning about care when exercising. keep on strumming!
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I thought I was invincible. I regret every hour I spent in that stupid gym and solely practice yoga now. I'm still pretty much as jacked as I've ever been since I practice 2 hours a day. I can only practice on heroin though as otherwise the pain is too extreme. I could NEVER have seen that coming it's not like I was doing anything wrong... just pushing myself too hard.

As a heroin addict and a yogi, I am actually better looking and more shredded than I've ever been in my life. I get more attention from women than I have ever in my life by far (I am still learning how to channel that... lol). Due to my yoga practice, I have zero issues with sex drive I'm a horny fucker in fact lol and when I was using and not working out, I was pretty much asexual. 2 hours a day is a really nice balance because half of that is passive yin poses that are working my spine and flexibility. I'm a very healthy junkie, and with my vegetarian diet I picked up this year, I've never felt better. It makes it tough to quit, I have zero incentive. I think heroin should be legal because I can only ever function when I'm on it so why not let me contribute to society and sniff the pure china white all day. Instead, I'm a "junkie" while everyone else gets drunk as fuck or smokes cigs until they get cancer or whatever the fuck else they do. It's bullshit. Legalize the shit is what I say.

It's really not that bad for me. I love the thrill of a nice rail and knowing I'm going to be pain free for several hours and able to focus on what truly matters in my life.
 
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It's all good man, keep your head up. Good luck tomorrow. I hope it goes your way. That would be awesome.
 
Thanks! It was really cool of you to suggest that, we could probably really help each other but I'm not someone who has good health to go back to. It's scary, I agree. I mean it's fuckin heroin after all. I'm lucky enough to have an amazing connect right now and I'm grateful for that. Exact same quality and appearance for like a year, it's unreal.

I'm really trying to keep myself alive and get back into the workforce so I can get my fix and start working towards building a future.

Oh mannnnnn this job would be perfect for me right now. Like honestly, a dream come true. It really would. I am going to pop 80mg oxy in the morning and take 30mg meth orally to get fired up and stand my ground and just get the fucking job. You're right it would be so fucking sweet!

It's not like I'm depressed I'm just depressed about my current life situation. There are so many ways in which it could improve... and as a 200lb healthy vegetarian yogi junkie, I mean I'm just not used to women flirting with me literally fucking everywhere. Like just letting me know I'm doing something right you know? I've never had that in my life I can count on one hand how many women I've been with lol. So... that is def going to change when I get the fuck out of this flat and into the workforce. It's just obvious. I don't look strung out at all... nobody would ever guess. Him? Junkie? lol. I'm told I have nice skin LOL aren't I supposed to be covered in scabs? I take meticulous care of my appearance. It's kind of badass I admit but I bet a lot of you are the same... very high functioning people when you are using. Well, I'd rather be a confident dude and make the best of the situation ya know? No way I'm referring to myself as a bitch for this when I've been through so much suffering. I might have made a mistake somewhere along the way.

My spine is fucked and I'm doing the best that I can to function and I am told by friends that whatever I'm doing, it's working lol. If only they knew why I'm so much chipper. I know I'm enslaved and all... and it's not cool... but I'm still a confident man I don't give a fuck. My back is fucked I do what I gotta do because society abandoned me to rot.

Thanks for the luck I really mean it. This job would mean the world to me. A fresh start. And after getting out of that shit relationship, like I just need something to keep my mind off the shit that went down... like I'm just a normal guy, I want girls and money and stuff apart from being a habitual dope sniffer. I only don't shoot because I'm still learning and I don't trust myself yet.

I dunno... I'm just high friends... I know I keep mentioning 200lbs but what can I say I'm just proud! I was a skinrat at the beginning of this year haha. Before I relapsed. So... I don't mean anything by it like I'm a humble dude really and it's not even that much. It's def something though according to these cute chicks if only I wasn't socially clueless ahaha. I'm just high right now and chuckling about how half this shit you guys and ladies wrote I could have written myself. lol especially the benzo part, keeping benzos in different locations... I'm not the only one! LOL
 
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