Heroin - Exp - A chippers diary: my journey in moderation of Heroin use (HR USED)

[schwelly]

Exactly- I've been messing around with substances long enough to realize signs. One of the things I committed to and must continue to do is be honest with myself. Since this debate and those thoughts have entered my mind I'm pushing my using days back even further. Hence the once every 14 days rather than 1-2x weekly. I don't want my life to spiral down into a shit hole I have a lot going for me(newly wed and nursing student) I did have a glass of wine tonight: I'm a bartender at a local seafood bistro so they have some legit wines. Anyways I will check in time to time but using day is t-minus 13 days

 

[Mysterie]

i just think that this whole idea of chipping with heroin successfully is a bit deluded

you say you want to be happy, and your a spiritual person, so why not seek that feeling of being complete by meditating?

don't compare the potential for addiction with alcohol vs heroin, heroin is a different animal.

quit while you can, don't try to prove to yourself how strong willed you are, just be modest and be grateful for what you have man.

 

[crOOk]

such as fixation mentally on the [woman], thinking to myself this is the absolute best [person] in the world

Such is the life with a wonderful wife. I see a bright future for the two of you! For you though... Not so much. Seriously - Stop while you 'can'.

 

[schwelly]

Guys and gals- I know you are posting these things not to attack or belittle but as warnings. And I take no Ill feeling towards the doubt of my ability to do this successfully. You dot need to tell me alcohol and heroin are two different animals. I'm well aware of this. Let's suspend all doubt for a moment and speak in hypothetical terms.

What if I am able to chip successfully? If I am capable of doing H 1-3x a month and keep it at that then why not? Why shouldn't I indulge if i am able to control it? End hypothetical thoughts lol.
The thing is over the past 60!" Days I have been successful. Now I know 60 days is not long at all but so far I haven't had any real issues. I know that could change at the drop of a dime and if things get crazy I am ready to walk away. "Oh it's not that easy" you might say- but according to my behavior and experiences in my lofe- for me it is. I used to use meth about. 6 years ago. Things got bad and I simply dropped if moved on and haven't touched it since. So- I have my mind made up!"- so long as my life is not being consumed or destroyed or even in danger of these things I AM GOING TO USE. Responsibly that is. So please instead of warning someone who is well aware of the potential dangers of this why not add a suggestion ( other than dude your fucked quit) because my mind is made up and I have been successful so far- and believe I will continue to be so long as I follow my guidelines. Plus what of the 2013 statistic that notes only 23% of people who abuse opiates become addicted? That's from NIDAA-and that's low. Today is another abstinence day. Safe travels to anyone traveling for Christmas!

 

[WeedIndeed]

Does your wife know about your H use?
What happens next?
I mean, you can't really plan the future. Right now it may be easy for you to cope with moderate H use.
But what happens if, say, in 5 years or so, something terrible happens which makes you use more often?

Also, are you not afraid of becoming addicted to even doing it once a week or two? What happens if you go on vacation and withdrawal hits you?


anyhow, I hope you'll succeed with your plans. I really really do.

 

[Mysterie]

the fact you are willing to bet on not being part of the 23% that can get addicted and you are newly married, and yet you argue that one of the underlying reasons you are using is because you cant take your wife being upset, strikes me as incredibly selfish...

 

[schwelly]

the fact you are willing to bet on not being part of the 23% that can get addicted and you are newly married, and yet you argue that one of the underlying reasons you are using is because you cant take your wife being upset, strikes me as incredibly selfish...

I don't recall saying that I bet I'm not one of the 23% who becomes addicted....I never said that- if I thought that way I wouldn't be pushing my using days back further and further. I have respect for this drug. It is nothing to be toyed with. I think you may have misread what I typed.

Secondly, I'm a bit confused on the second part of your post.(seriously confused I am not trying to be a smart ass). I argue that one of the underlying reasons I am using is because I cant take my wife being upset? Are you implying that one of my motives for use is because she is going through so much with the loss of her brother? I never said that is why I use. I use the drug because I like the effects it produces. I think where you got this was from me stating about how I have a lot going on in my life and I said some thing to the nature of "It would be easy to just zone out and forget about it"- not verbatim but something like that.

to address that- It would be much easier to just numb it all out wouldn't it? No one likes to have their heart ripped apart. No one likes to sit by and watch as someone they are in love with suffers so intensely. In addition to that no one likes to realize there is absolutely nothing they can do to fix the situation. These are all realities with that situation- and it fucking hurts to deal with them and it's hard- so YES the EASIEST thing to do would be just stay high. Then I don't have to feel anything. BUT that's NOT WHAT I AM DOING. I don't get high everyday. I am there for my wife, we are working through the sadness and tragedy in our lives. But for me using a substances as a coping mechanism is never something to do- I learned this many years back. So I must disagree with your interpretation of those two things.

 

[schwelly]

Oh I am afraid of becoming addicted- I am indeed.
as far as something terrible happening 5 years from now- I don't have to wait that long it already is.
My wife's brother (they are VERY close- basically inseparable) is dying from brain cancer. To sit by helplessly as I see this woman who was once so full of life, laughter energy joy, and love- to see her broken rips my fucking heart out and is extremely hard for me. I am the type of person that when someone I love- truly love- is suffering- I tend to suffer along with them, because it hurts me to see those I love hurting.

 

[crOOk]

Guys and gals- I know you are posting these things not to attack or belittle but as warnings.

Yes indeed, please don't take the cynical and sarcastic tone of some of my posts as offensive or an attempt to ridicule you. I really appreciate your posting your experiences here. If you find yourself in trouble, I'm here to listen eventhough we don't know each other.

I am not sure how long you've been abusing drugs, which drugs you've used, how many times you've had to quit and how long it lasted. I've kicked pretty much all classes of drugs (never regularly abused IV opiates though!), never had any issues with that whatsoever. However looking at the bigger picture, my use has been getting worse and worse. It really doesn't mean shit whether I could break a 2 year daily amphetamine habit within the blink of an eye with ease because now I am using IV dissociatives on a regular basis.

The thing is, everytime we cause pleasure in ourselves by using drugs we tell our brain that taking drugs is a good choice. We slowly reprogram it until the concepts of happiness and drug use seem to be inseparable. You could say it's easy to kick meth for many people, but it's not really breaking a habit if you continue to use opiates a few years later. It means a 'break' at best. Once you use again though, whichever class of drugs it may be, your brain will immediately continue where it left off though.

Still, I am not saying you cannot do it, but statistically your chances aren't very good to succeed. You could be one of the few who manages fine, but if not then by the time you find out you will be drowning in an ocean of shit.

 

[ebola?]

What if I am able to chip successfully? If I am capable of doing H 1-3x a month and keep it at that then why not? Why shouldn't I indulge if i am able to control it?

Well, cool, but just let it be known that very few people can maintain this pattern of usage of the long term. And also know that general intelligence or even scope of knowledge about drugs have little to do with whether you'll succeed or fail (however, the social context in which use is embedded matters, and using alone, particularly when concealed from those close to you, tends to lead to poor outcomes).

Basically, I think your only chance at success here is to cease use once you've first abandoned any of the rules you've set out for yourself.

The thing is over the past 60!" Days I have been successful. Now I know 60 days is not long at all but so far I haven't had any real issues.

Indeed: few addicts would show clear indications of what is to follow after that brief a period of use.

I used to use meth about. 6 years ago. Things got bad and I simply dropped if moved on and haven't touched it since.

But things got "bad", right? That indicates that you were quite a way down the road toward drug dependence-proper, and by mere happenstance, even, it could go wrong at an analogous point with H; just because one drug's easy to "drop" doesn't indicate that another will be.

Plus what of the 2013 statistic that notes only 23% of people who abuse opiates become addicted

"Only"? That sounds pretty risky to me. . .would you take a car ride where your chance of an accident was 23 percent?

ebola

 

[crOOk]

Plus what of the 2013 statistic that notes only 23% of people who abuse opiates become addicted?

Oh come on. You know there's a huge difference between being prescribed some codein for dry cough and smoking diamorphine recreationally, right?

I read a statistic (can't dig it up, probably unreliable anyway) that said 1/3 of heroin users just stay on it until they die of unrelated causes, another 1/3 eventually overdoses and the remaining 1/3 manages to get off it. Bright prospects, eh? But hey, you wouldn't be the first one who can abuse heroin without getting addicted. I've known a few and I've seen people who've been using IV cocaine recreationally for extended periods of times and then just got off for good without major trouble. This is a huge exception though and even if you aren't that prone to losing control over your use you should be aware that almost everyone thinks that when starting to use heroin. Statistically, things are looking grim. I can see why you would still try it, if not only to put your will power to a test, but still... Even if the risk was only 23% to get hooked (which is plain absurd imho), is that a risk you want to take?

Basically, I think your only chance at success here is to cease use once you've first abandoned any of the rules you've set out for yourself.

I couldn't agree more. The problem is though, that your brain is gonna try to trick you. Your rules aren't outlined as clearly as you make them out to be, you saw earlier post about that. Your mind will tell you that you might've bended the rules slightly, but have not broken them if it ever comes to that.

would you take a car ride where your chance of an accident was 23 percent?

Well to be fair, a car ride isn't as awesome as a heroin rush.

 

[WeedIndeed]

I'd suggest you sometimes take longer breaks, just to test yourself. if you stop using for a month and still have cravings you should probably rethink your schedule.

 

[ComfortablyNumb95]

Quit while you're ahead imo (that's what I'm doing at least).
I'm pretty sure every addict would like to go back and don't go down this road, and I sure won't waste my chance.

 

[Nighthowl]

Interesting thread, sub'd. Please be careful with H as others' have stated. I have a 'curiousity' about the drug, but can't bring myself to try it as I know I have an addictive disposition and don't want to end up hopelessly addicted. It's been a very trying time for my wife and I since we moved 8yrs ago, and I'll just stick with the cannabis and occasional shroom trip here and there. Good Luck.

 

[crOOk]

Exactly- I've been messing around with substances long enough to realize signs. One of the things I committed to and must continue to do is be honest with myself. Since this debate and those thoughts have entered my mind I'm pushing my using days back even further. Hence the once every 14 days rather than 1-2x weekly. I don't want my life to spiral down into a shit hole I have a lot going for me(newly wed and nursing student) I did have a glass of wine tonight: I'm a bartender at a local seafood bistro so they have some legit wines. Anyways I will check in time to time but using day is t-minus 13 days

Very good decision, I didn't expect that. Maybe you started this thread with some subconscious hope that we convince you that this whole thing is a bad idea?

I'm happy you made that decision!

Interesting thread, sub'd. Please be careful with H as others' have stated. I have a 'curiousity' about the drug, but can't bring myself to try it as I know I have an addictive disposition and don't want to end up hopelessly addicted. It's been a very trying time for my wife and I since we moved 8yrs ago, and I'll just stick with the cannabis and occasional shroom trip here and there. Good Luck.

I know for a fucking fact that if I only get close to H or oxomorphone that life as I know it would be over. I would immediately start slamming it and would go through a lot of effort to acquire more. That's just me though. Need to steer way clear of the stuff.

 

[Yeetbeat]

The effects only 8-16mg of codeine can have on my guts is enough for me to know I'll never fine myself addicted to opiates haha...it's bad enough I don't think I'd even consider the mildest of opiate experiences.

 

[crOOk]

The effects only 8-16mg of codeine can have on my guts is enough for me to know I'll never fine myself addicted to opiates haha...it's bad enough I don't think I'd even consider the mildest of opiate experiences.

Haha really? You lucky son of a bitch!! :D

Edit: Just pray your well-being will never depend on them. Back when I was in hospital with large 2nd degree burns I was given 80mg oxycodone, morphine whenever needed and IV piritramide for when they scrubbed off the dead tissue from the wounds. I didn't take a single shit for the entire 3 weeks.

 

[Yeetbeat]

HONESTLY, I think I'd really push the limits of my pain tolerance before I gave in to opiates. Obviously assuming whatever my ailment is at the time is bearable to some degree.

I've had morphine on 2 occasions in hospital, and honestly while it definitely felt pretty awesome, I have no interest in chasing a similar high knowing even the minor side effects it comes with - let alone the dependency and addiction potential.

The constipation is dead set enough of a phobia/fear for me that even if I was presented with the PERFECT opportunity to try something like heroin - everything done 100% by the book. Pure as pure, accurate dosage known, all precautions taken and bases covered. Hell, even if it were absolutely free yet I could never get hold of it again - I'd still pass with barely a thought on the matter.

Probably helps I don't really enjoy downers at all either haha. Even the couch lock from weed can be annoying as shit.

 

[PotatoMan]

personally i fell in love with hydrocodone when i first tried and i don't wanna doubt myself but if it wasn't for the fact that it's not available where i'm from then i may very well be addicted to it. we'll see tho when i go to school in the states what happens but i believe that if you stick to twice a month use then there shouldn't be a problem. the more you justify using the worse it gets and i think you are doing it quite frequently in hopes to keep it at moderate use. i always knew that there was a reason why i was never able to get comfy with hydro and it's because it is the road to heroin. any opiate, regardless of where you start there's a chance you'll finish with a needle.

on a side note: the only time i will ever plan on doing H is combined with cocaine in one IV shot followed by a big toke of the crack rock. all on my death bed! pure euphoria i am sure

on a side side note: i don't believe in these opiates/opioids. i think the use of these drugs are very selfish. it disconnects you emotionally as well and i believe that the risk outweighs the reward when it comes to heroin. I think the government or "babylon" if you will is sitting on their butts totally thrilled at the painkiller epidemic that started in the 90s. They didn't want us to SEE and that's why by putting this selfish high into society they've blinded us with euphoria to make us forget about the Acid wave, and the enlightenment of the population. i think painkillers were a big full stop to the psychedelic movement and it is the YOUTH's job to bring it back because all everyone wants to fucking to is nod off, drink booze and smoke fuckin cigs. Poison i say! nothing good can ever come from using opioids/opiates. Death of the enlightenment. Turn to Hallucinogenic heroin instead! "aka DXM" man that is pure happiness.

 

[crOOk]

i believe that if you stick to twice a month use then there shouldn't be a problem

Yes, definitely. It has proven to work througout generations.