Hi 10, thank you for the update. I am still at my friend's and I was thinking about going home today, but I think I will hang out here for a few more days. I have Thursday off from work so I am planning to go and do an intake assessment for a dual-diagnosis IOP that day. I don't think it's a good idea for me to go home until I have some structure in place. A former colleague from my musician days got me tickets to see a performance of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony yesterday and I had to go home to get a suit and it gave me serious anxiety to be there, even though it has now been cleaned.
I am sorry to hear about your husband's behavior. I mentioned on Somni's thread that my ex wife did not put out for about the last two years we lived together. I never cheated on her (though I am quite sure she did) and after I moved out I went apeshit sexually. I'm glad I have it out of my system. I don't have anything much to offer myself, let alone a partner, until I work on myself. And the way I feel right now, even if I never feel ready to be with anyone else that's ok because while I miss the idea of sex, I don't miss what I had to go through to get it.
Went back to my regular AA meeting again yesterday (the agnostic/atheist meeting). One of my friends who I hadn't seen in a while was there. She cracked after 4 years and is drinking again. I could smell it on her. She, like me, is trying to figure out what comes next. I've made it a week now.
Hope you and everyone else are having a good day. Back to work for me.