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Help! IV coke binge needs to stop!

Unsure. Thanks for tagging him. Let's see
 
Bin Noddin said:
I’m here. Got totally disgusted with itself and threw out half a g and all my needles,cotton,whatever yesterday. Told myself that was it. Obviously at work today fiending like a bitch. Thinking about how one more time wouldn’t hurt. Fucking crazy.
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well first of all great hearing from u and u are definitely doing better than me man..not going into details but it s no fun as you know. " One more time would not hurt" yeah, but as they say one is too much and a thousand is never enough .....it s simply not funny anymore, let s face it

Bin Noddin said:
If I could just get a 4 or 5 day stretch I know I would begin to forget about it. Just need to get over that hump.
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Sorry but I m not a native speaker I m not sure what you mean here :(
 
Bin Noddin said:
I’m here. Got totally disgusted with itself and threw out half a g and all my needles,cotton,whatever yesterday. Told myself that was it. Obviously at work today fiending like a bitch. Thinking about how one more time wouldn’t hurt. Fucking crazy.
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Yeah man, that itch is a thing. However it will get less and less in time, as I'm sure you know from experience.

Your family would be extremely proud of you when the time comes to talk about. If the time doesn't come, still fucking amazing job my dude - what a great personal story of preservance.
 
Bin Noddin said:
.... fiending like a bitch. Thinking about how one more time wouldn’t hurt. Fucking crazy.
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Been there. It's rough.
Remember that one is too many and a thousand is never enough.

I know it's insanely difficult right now with the obsessive thinking and powerful cravings.

I've been through addictions to various drugs and IV cocaine is by far the most psychologically challenging...at first. Trust me when I say it gets much, much better with time. If you can make it for a month, you will probably be successful in quitting for good.

The most important things right now are good sleep, healthy nutrition (consider vitamin supplements), and mental distractions-- find healthy ways to have fun.

Best wishes on your journey.
 
Bin Noddin said:
Thinking about how one more time wouldn’t hurt.
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I'm sure you already know this, but I just had to say it anyway: keep in mind that every addict that has ever existed has had exactly that same thought--- again&again&again....

I would suggest that when that idea comes up, just play the scenario all the way through. You know that what goes up must come down, and as soon as you come down you'll be kicking yourself, having the same delusion yet again, and prolonging your agony that much longer.

I know what you're going through and my heart goes out to you. Hang in there. It really does get better-- a LOT better.
 
@Bin Noddin have you tried the supplement NAC mate?

Definitely helped me to kick smoking that freebase, and plenty of others with cocaine addictions.

If anyone comes with the "it's just psychological, not physical so should be easy" nonsense (they wont in this subforum though) then just remind them how many opiate / nicotine / alcohol relapses happen after the physical withdrawals end. IV coke / vaped freebase creates extremely strong neural pathways, extemely psychologially reinforcing (as you know), and it's an absolute bastard to quit.

But not as much of a bastard as carrying on is, hell no. Good luck friend. Try to keep in mind that you're not giving up anything (except for a shit life), and you are gaining the whole world by stopping.
 
The fantasy addiction trip is so strong.

Your not resisting doing something amazing and pleasurable like the fantasies claim, your no longer going to do something that makes you utterly miserable. Evolve your thought defenses against the mind battle. You can't outsmart yourself, but the truth has significant power, because it's the truth.

You are not resisting bliss, you are rejecting a hell.

There is no way to make it work, because I would have figured it out and would tell you. The reason there is no way to figure it out, it never existed. Thats why it's a fantasy. It was never that way.. the subconscious uses fantasy to drive us. Hit it with the truth.
 
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ageingpartyfiend said:
@Bin Noddin have you tried the supplement NAC mate?

Definitely helped me to kick smoking that freebase, and plenty of others with cocaine addictions.

If anyone comes with the "it's just psychological, not physical so should be easy" nonsense (they wont in this subforum though) then just remind them how many opiate / nicotine / alcohol relapses happen after the physical withdrawals end. IV coke / vaped freebase creates extremely strong neural pathways, extemely psychologially reinforcing (as you know), and it's an absolute bastard to quit.

But not as much of a bastard as carrying on is, hell no. Good luck friend. Try to keep in mind that you're not giving up anything (except for a shit life), and you are gaining the whole world by stopping.
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The thing for me is that yeah it is mostly psychological. That is a good thing. One of the hardest parts of kicking opiates for me was the physical withdrawal. The needing it to function part was what kept me stuck in that cycle. No doubt that the brain wants that feeling very badly too. But again, for me the physical has always been the worst part.
 
I sit in my car at a gas station after I got some snacks for the the day. Prob won’t eat them as that doesn’t appeal to me until 10 or 11 at night when I’ve stopped for the day. Put a little too much in and as soon as the rush comes on I know it. All I can think about are the faces of my beautiful little girls and what they would look like at my funeral. 5 mins later I want to do it again. Only slightly less so I don’t get that “I’m going to die this time” feeling. Again just tossed everything I had. Broke even the new needles cause I’ve been known to come back and dig through the garbage for them many times. I know I can do this!! I know I can!! I’m just driven to the dark! Something about the whole clandestine act of procuring and using is the fantasy and more of a goal than the high I believe.

Thanks for all the posts. This is coming to a head soon. Weather I go away and lose what I have or figure it out myself it is going to stop.
 
Bin Noddin said:
I sit in my car at a gas station after I got some snacks for the the day. Prob won’t eat them as that doesn’t appeal to me until 10 or 11 at night when I’ve stopped for the day. Put a little too much in and as soon as the rush comes on I know it. All I can think about are the faces of my beautiful little girls and what they would look like at my funeral. 5 mins later I want to do it again. Only slightly less so I don’t get that “I’m going to die this time” feeling. Again just tossed everything I had. Broke even the new needles cause I’ve been known to come back and dig through the garbage for them many times. I know I can do this!! I know I can!! I’m just driven to the dark! Something about the whole clandestine act of procuring and using is the fantasy and more of a goal than the high I believe.

Thanks for all the posts. This is coming to a head soon. Weather I go away and lose what I have or figure it out myself it is going to stop.
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I haven't been there from coke, but from other intoxicants I ended up losing everything. 15 year relationship with the love of my life, who won't talk to me any more. My kid who was my best friend, is now an adult and also barely talks to me. Had a big house with a nice big garden. Lost that. Live in a rented apartment, and am pretty much broke, living from day to day financially. Sometimes I close my eyes and imagine if I could time travel back to when I first noticed things were getting out of hand and just stopped... the pain of stopping back then would have been so much less than the pain of losing everything
 
Bin Noddin said:
The thing for me is that yeah it is mostly psychological. That is a good thing. One of the hardest parts of kicking opiates for me was the physical withdrawal. The needing it to function part was what kept me stuck in that cycle. No doubt that the brain wants that feeling very badly too. But again, for me the physical has always been the worst part.
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I feel that’s why addiction to stimulants personifies addiction. It pretty much defines addiction without being muddled with physical dependence.
 
Bin Noddin said:
The thing for me is that yeah it is mostly psychological. That is a good thing. One of the hardest parts of kicking opiates for me was the physical withdrawal. The needing it to function part was what kept me stuck in that cycle. No doubt that the brain wants that feeling very badly too. But again, for me the physical has always been the worst part.
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So, the "physical has always been the worst part" for you but, still, you have succesfully kicked opiates

Now, given that there is no (or extremely limited anyway ) physical withdrawal from cocaine - well that infers that you should find quitting coke easier than quitting opiates, no?

So, given your very own logic - you can definitely quit this shit.
 
DreamofWinter said:
I haven't been there from coke, but from other intoxicants I ended up losing everything. 15 year relationship with the love of my life, who won't talk to me any more. My kid who was my best friend, is now an adult and also barely talks to me. Had a big house with a nice big garden. Lost that. Live in a rented apartment, and am pretty much broke, living from day to day financially. Sometimes I close my eyes and imagine if I could time travel back to when I first noticed things were getting out of hand and just stopped... the pain of stopping back then would have been so much less than the pain of losing everything
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Man I feel for you. That’s where I’m headed if I don’t square my shit away now! I don’t know why there is a part of me that seems to want that. It’s this evil little creature inside of me that wants me broke,alone and dead. I know what I have to do and I know how to do it. I just haven’t yet.
 
ageingpartyfiend said:
So, the "physical has always been the worst part" for you but, still, you have succesfully kicked opiates

Now, given that there is no (or extremely limited anyway ) physical withdrawal from cocaine - well that infers that you should find quitting coke easier than quitting opiates, no?

So, given your very own logic - you can definitely quit this shit.
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Yeah there is no doubt in my mind. I function better as a father ,husband, employee ect when I’m not on it. I feel good about myself and my accomplishments. I know that in a few day to a week my hobbies will become joyful and interesting to me again. Like stated above. Some part of me loves to suffer, loves to punish myself. See me as nothing more than an imposter that doesn’t deserve what he has.
 
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