Have you ever been addicted to something that makes you mostly feel like shit?

[skipjames]

Ah well coke is like 70 to 100 a gram in fl so it was way too much and wasn't even flake half the time and often laced w fent so it wasnt very attractive to use, man mabey try spacing out your runs.. Ik that's hard to do but a benzo at the end helps knock out and if its clean uncut it shouldn't be too much issue coming down,..prob not the smartest idea but mabey get a script for adderall or modafinil as a stim maintenance med

Yeah, same in Italy back in the days ( now is shite but it s cheaper and everyone is doing it). We have Ritalin at home ( my wife has a script for it ) but it only gave me a headache when I tried it, , maybe I should give it another try as mixing Ritalin and coke is a no no or try more "stimulant" strains of kratom....today I did 'only" one gram of coke which for me is already an improvement considering the amount of shit I ve been doing recently....I think is momentary, just the horrid no man s land when u stop doing opiates and start doing ...anything else

 

[deebeeCooper]

Hi guys,
I m not understanding what s going on with my wife. She used to loose it when she was doing too much cocaine and -or when she was not following my advice (take a downer). But now a line makes her super paranoid, convinced that our cats are dying and all kinds of shit, hence coke is banned from the household (officially, I sometimes hide myself in the loo and do some line, because I m an horrible person). But honestly, I m old fashioned myself, drugs are supposed to make you feel better, at least momentarily; that s why I don t miss weed, or drink rarely, don t do any other drugs but oxys and coke . Because they make me feel good while the others make me feel like shite. Blow to her is like weed to me, is definitely not the drug for her like weed and psychedelics are not for m, how can she miss something that makes her feel so fucked up from the very first line? Has it ever happened to you to get addicted to something that just dos not work for you and you still want to use? What´s the point?

Hey,
That sounds really unpleasant. Likely what's happening to your wife is psychosis. And it is terrifying to behold because you could be talking to your best friend, and they have a line or a pipe, and in an instant they are a totally different person. Maybe getting violent or just very delusional.
Personally, ive been quite lucky in that i haven't had psychological issues with substances(apart from a nightmare crystal binge) but over the years have been around a considerable amount of people suffering from psychosis. I've realised it's fairly common and doesn't necessarily have to be the night to day switch.
But yes, still wanting to use when logically, you know it's shit, you dont really have fun and it doesn't work for you is what we call addiction.
Maybe try discussing it with her when she's sober. People don't always remember psychotic episodes , so be gentle. Maybe surreptitiously film or record her when she next does a line so you can show her what happens. But remember that as scary as it is for you to witness, seeing your own behaviour like that is difficult and very upsetting. But also try to gently convey how dangerous it is for her future mental health; flicking switches in the brain don't always flick back. Drug psychosis doesn't always wear off.
Consider also not doing coke yourself (i know i know) . Im sure she can tell when you've had it and that probably triggers her and makes her want to use.
I'd somewhat concur with the others who mentioned Ritalin. Though it is possible her issue won't just be relegated to coke as those issues can often be brought on by other stimulants.
I really hope things improve.

 

[deebeeCooper]

Hi, I don’t know if you’re aware, but we have a new member introduction subforum for this kind of post if you’re just saying hi, that’s where this type of thing should go. Otherwise, please confine your remarks to the topic.

"ResearchChemicals" ? Subtle.

 

[skipjames]

Hey,
That sounds really unpleasant. Likely what's happening to your wife is psychosis. And it is terrifying to behold because you could be talking to your best friend, and they have a line or a pipe, and in an instant they are a totally different person. Maybe getting violent or just very delusional.
Personally, ive been quite lucky in that i haven't had psychological issues with substances(apart from a nightmare crystal binge) but over the years have been around a considerable amount of people suffering from psychosis. I've realised it's fairly common and doesn't necessarily have to be the night to day switch.
But yes, still wanting to use when logically, you know it's shit, you dont really have fun and it doesn't work for you is what we call addiction.
Maybe try discussing it with her when she's sober. People don't always remember psychotic episodes , so be gentle. Maybe surreptitiously film or record her when she next does a line so you can show her what happens. But remember that as scary as it is for you to witness, seeing your own behaviour like that is difficult and very upsetting. But also try to gently convey how dangerous it is for her future mental health; flicking switches in the brain don't always flick back. Drug psychosis doesn't always wear off.
Consider also not doing coke yourself (i know i know) . Im sure she can tell when you've had it and that probably triggers her and makes her want to use.
I'd somewhat concur with the others who mentioned Ritalin. Though it is possible her issue won't just be relegated to coke as those issues can often be brought on by other stimulants.
I really hope things improve.

Cheers my friend, and after a couple of weeks of coke binging I...completely understand my wife. Doing coke just because, enjoying the first ;;;;5 seconds then be anxious all the time , at least she has understood that coke without downers is a no no so she is not losing it courtesy of my clonazepams but still..what the fuck are we doing? Why? What a bullshit of a drug, with opioids i have always managed to keep my shit together , with this shite I m never satisfied , but it´s every-fuckin-where down here in Brazil, anyway we had a chat today about " why should we spend money on something that makes us feel like shit?" and hopefully we´ll manage to have at least a more reasonable relation with blow( i.e. doing it during week ends only, not on an empty stomach etc). Sobriety is not really an option, but at least smack and oxys were "honest", this shit is way more insidious IMHO....

 

[fastandbulbous]

Not the direct effect of the drug (ketamine), which was the first time I ever experienced being pain free. However, the effect on my ex, of my ketamine use, made me feel like an utter shitbag, once I realised that when she woke up, every morning, she was expecting to find me dead at the bottom of the stairs, resulted in her developing bad OCD.
I have since repeatedly apologised for my selfish behaviour, to the point where she's had to say, "Kevin, I understand you feel terrible about it, but you don't have to apologise, every time" (virtually everyone on here knows my first name, including info gathering officers of Scotland Yard's Central Drugs Intelligence Unit, so I can't see the point of playing sillybuggers). I have truly loved two women in my life, my ex and my late wife. If you've loved someone and inadvertently hurt them, you will always feel some degree of feeling shite, regardless of excuses you tell yourself. My apologies were in no way an attempt to win her back, as the pain I caused her was beyond the pale. I try to keep contact with her on a casual basis, not in an effort to get back together, but to convince her that not all men are thoughtless arseholes. She came to my wedding and what I'd really like, is to find that I haven't been such an arsehole that she finds it difficult to trust any member of my gender and is in a happy relationship (or as my first partner said to my, at the time fiancee, "look after him, he's a bit of a knacker").
If you've loved, or had very deep feelings for a partner, you just want to see them happy: well that's my attitude.

 

[Delmonte421]

literally isn't this the definition of addition at its most basic form lol having to do something that makes you feel like shit just to not feel so much like shit that you cant do things but just enough like shit that you can get through the day with out jumping off a bridge

 

[deebeeCooper]

Yeah, same in Italy back in the days ( now is shite but it s cheaper and everyone is doing it). We have Ritalin at home ( my wife has a script for it ) but it only gave me a headache when I tried it, , maybe I should give it another try as mixing Ritalin and coke is a no no or try more "stimulant" strains of kratom....today I did 'only" one gram of coke which for me is already an improvement considering the amount of shit I ve been doing recently....I think is momentary, just the horrid no man s land when u stop doing opiates and start doing ...anything else

That's exactly it , a no mans land. No matter how many times I've tried opiate "aversion therapy" with other substances.
Also im sure you know this, but if you crush ritalin and sniff it, it's a stronger high. Although i have noticed they've been versions you can't crush.

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

Alcohol use to make me feel like shit.
but I drank on & off from the age of 12 to about 29.
Suboxone (buprenorphine) stopped me from ever craving alcohol anymore. Or wanting to self destruct like I use to.

Drugs for me are either A ) For functional use or B ) For self destruction/Recreation
Drugs under category A would be - Opioids, Cannabis, Caffeine/Mild Stims
Drugs under category B would be - Alcohol, meth, psyches/dissos

Drugs in category A rarely make me feel like shit but there's also a lot of variables. Suboxone makes me feel worse ever day than heroin or any full agonist would, that's for sure. But it doesn't feel as bad as say, drinking alcohol every day instead.

 

[crazyhairman]

Yea meth, a few hours of bliss followed by 3 days of hell, depression for months, aggression for months.

And I already can hear the meth lovers ," um actually I've used meth for 9 years straight and never had any bad side effects".

The question was specific to each person.

 

[yubacity]

Cocaine be in UK a few months and been same old shit buy an 8th because i save 20 quid instead of buying a tenth snort wash it up smoke pretend to wife on face time im not on iti was only meant to be here few weeks wank until 4 o clock in morning smoke lots of brown take 1200 mg of pregabalin wake up feeling shit not eating or keeping hydrated cheated on wife again I hate the fucking drug atleast with meth the buzzz a lot longer . When im just on heroin its much better then this mental head fuck