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have had it with friend with benefits

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bomber said:
First of all, your sex partner is right. He is not obliged to help you financialy just because you fucked. And I don't see what is regretfull from your side, as long as you enjoyied fucking him. Had you not done it with him, you would be at the same spot, except you wouldn't have some pleasant nights to remember.
That said, since it's obvious that you aren't really bonded to that man, on a spirtuall level that is, don't you have any close friends or family members?
I can see my self denying giving money to a random girl i fucked but i would never deny help to a close friend, a close family member or obviously, a girl i have a deeper relationship with.
Also would you help him if he was the one in need? And if you would, does he know it? Because i also wouldn't help someone who i don't think they would do the same for me
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"Bomber", or whatever you call yourself, please see my reply below:

Can't believe how demented and offensive some of the reactions to this thread of mine were though ...

and FUCK YOUSE ALL (you know who you are!) If I'm having sex with someone, even if it's supposedly not "committed", I'd never let them go hungry or not help them with little financial emergencies. To expect that from a "friend with benefits" isn't a whore's expectation. It's a friend's expectation.

Unfortunately one is much more likely to get help in little emergencies such as those I alluded to when it's your regular sort of friend with no benefits.

You have sex with a male FWB ... and he acts like you OWE HIM EVERYTHING - your body, your time, and your money, if HE needs help.

But if you, as the woman in this transaction, ask for anything (except the "opportunity" to fawn over HIS DICK in one way or another)

....you get not only get fucked, but also FUCKED OVER and FUCKED OFF, and quite possibly FUCKED UP. Really fucking fast.

Sorry if my language offends but this latest round of bullshitty male-entitled thoughts on the subject has really pissed me off.

This is where feminism has done women a disservice. Men are now convinced that women - especially middle aged women - are privileged to get any sort of sexual offers at all.
 
You may want to take this down a notch.

Somewhere in the middle of this thread you noted that you were thinking of asking the mods. to delete the thread and I told you how to do it yourself. No shame in doing that (took me two entire days to reduce my post count from almost 1 000 to what it is now by deleting my own inane drivel). Anyway. You did neither so you cannot in good conscience now attack those that don't see things from your point of view and in the manner that you are doing. No offense. At the time I was trying to advise you and in an effort to advise you against overshare. And I'm doing the same here now again (for reasons that really are totally beyond my own comprehension to be honest).

The above being said: possibly some worthy points of view expressed for future reference for others? No opinion on this really. Just saying.
 
D
dalpat077 said:
You may want to take this down a notch.

Somewhere in the middle of this thread you noted that you were thinking of asking the mods. to delete the thread and I told you how to do it yourself. No shame in doing that (took me two entire days to reduce my post count from almost 1 000 to what it is now by deleting my own inane drivel). Anyway. You did neither so you cannot in good conscience now attack those that don't see things from your point of view and in the manner that you are doing. No offense. At the time I was trying to advise you and in an effort to advise you against overshare. And I'm doing the same here now again (for reasons that really are totally beyond my own comprehension to be honest).

The above being said: possibly some worthy points of view expressed for future reference for others? No opinion on this really. Just saying.
Click to expand...
Dalpat, people have been implying or explicitly telling me I am a "whore". One person said I was " a cunt who was lucky to get fucked at all".
I don't think these are legit "points of view". I think they are gleeful misogynist rants.

With all respect, nothing I have said has been PERSONAL or offensive to anyone in particular. I just used the F-word a few times. And expressed my honest view of the "you're a whore" brigade.

So, with all respect, don't tell ME I am being narrow minded or mean or otherwise inappropriate. Because I am not.
 
MrsGamp said:
D

Dalpat, people have been implying or explicitly telling me I am a "whore". One person said I was " a cunt who was lucky to get fucked at all".
I don't think these are legit "points of view". I think they are gleeful misogynist rants.

With all respect, nothing I have said has been PERSONAL or offensive to anyone in particular. I just used the F-word a few times. And expressed my honest view of the "you're a whore" brigade.

So, with all respect, don't tell ME I am being narrow minded or mean or otherwise inappropriate. Because I am not.
Click to expand...
 
I'm not telling you that you're being narrow minded or mean or anything else. For some obscure reason: looking after your interests and your sanity is all (remind me again who advised you about your YouTube videos?). Then again: this has absolutely nothing to do with me anyways so (all) carry on as you were. Free forums and your thread anyway. Just don't take too much to heart i.e. I learned the hard way that it's nigh on impossible to know the state or frame of mind that some on these forums may be in when posting (or when starting their own threads for that matter).

MrsGamp said:
Although I've more or less ditched him altogether now.
Click to expand...
If I were to give you some, albeit humble, input though: the words "more or less" are concerning to be honest i.e. after all of the posts on this thread and the general consensus I'd have thought that the person in question would by now have been nothing but a distant memory (if that).
 
dalpat077 said:
I'm not telling you that you're being narrow minded or mean or anything else. For some obscure reason: looking after your interests and your sanity is all (remind me again who advised you about your YouTube videos?). Then again: this has absolutely nothing to do with me anyways so (all) carry on as you were. Free forums and your thread anyway. Just don't take too much to heart i.e. I learned the hard way that it's nigh on impossible to know the state or frame of mind that some on these forums may be in when posting (or when starting their own threads for that matter).


If I were to give you some, albeit humble, input though: the words "more or less" are concerning to be honest i.e. after all of the posts on this thread and the general consensus I'd have thought that the person in question would by now have been nothing but a distant memory (if that).
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Oh dear, it's been VERY hard to make him a "past tense" person for literally 20 plus years. All I want now from him now is to recover some of my stuff, and he's putting that off ...

I will let the thread stand because I think it's evoked a very interesting range of responses and opinions. '

I received numerous supportive PMs from people who were appalled by some of the attitudes expressed about my dilemma as I expressed it. Perhaps I "overshared".

But, to quote a 70s feminist bromide, "the personal is political"!
 
MrsGamp said:
"Bomber", or whatever you call yourself, please see my reply below:

Can't believe how demented and offensive some of the reactions to this thread of mine were though ...

and FUCK YOUSE ALL (you know who you are!) If I'm having sex with someone, even if it's supposedly not "committed", I'd never let them go hungry or not help them with little financial emergencies. To expect that from a "friend with benefits" isn't a whore's expectation. It's a friend's expectation.

Unfortunately one is much more likely to get help in little emergencies such as those I alluded to when it's your regular sort of friend with no benefits.

You have sex with a male FWB ... and he acts like you OWE HIM EVERYTHING - your body, your time, and your money, if HE needs help.

But if you, as the woman in this transaction, ask for anything (except the "opportunity" to fawn over HIS DICK in one way or another)

....you get not only get fucked, but also FUCKED OVER and FUCKED OFF, and quite possibly FUCKED UP. Really fucking fast.

Sorry if my language offends but this latest round of bullshitty male-entitled thoughts on the subject has really pissed me off.

This is where feminism has done women a disservice. Men are now convinced that women - especially middle aged women - are privileged to get any sort of sexual offers at all.
Click to expand...
If your friends with someone then that implies certain expectations.

If your in a relationship, that implies a different and usually broader set of expectations.

If your just having sex with someone, well you might expect that they will endeavor to get you off. But that's it.

You put yourself into that arrangement, so why rage that it is not suddenly a friendship or relationship the moment it suits you?

Why start ragging on men generally? Its not helpful to blame the aggregate population of human males for the dissatisfaction you feel in your deviant sexual arrangement.

You seem to have a strong desire for a man, but an aversion to men. Thats got to be a major headfuck.
 
Hi y’all, I’m bored so after skimming last two pages here goes my Tom fuckery.
Ms. G.
WALK. Anything you recover is gonna be tainted with memories and reminders. Hardest thing I ever did, and I still miss everyday, but I haven’t killed anyone and I’m still alive, so that’s progress right?
You’ll never fill that void left by true love ( your part in the relationship is the only truth you have, fuck if it was real or games for other party) with FWB. May get lonely, but TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE. Feelin dirty is only good if you can clean off after.
Well meaning associates of both sexes have urged me to get on with it. Get back in the game. Felt pretty lackluster honestly, and hurt feelings of the other party, as they got attached.
Now, I simply say “ this is good stuff, I don’t just give it away”. That’s cocksure, I know, but it’s all about self worth. I suggest the same. You’re worth it.
 
@morpher001
“in your deviant sexual arrangement.

This is a really personal opinion of Yours? I do not feel that way at all! From a males perspective I find I am just Selfish & self enter when it comes to Sex in a Non-committed relationship!! Women put more into it emotionally , and I now respect and try and understand that !!

But Fucking Deviant?? What are you a Sunday school teacher, or Holy roller ??
Never had a one night stand ?
 
DeadManWalkin' said:
Watching porn is degenerate and there's a clear difference with fucking your own hand and the real thing.
Other one can create life, while another one probably only breeds degeneracy and fucked up prefrontal cortex.
Click to expand...
Lol, what do you mean by degenerate? Like it devolves a person more than making weekly plans with someone they apparently hate but want rhythmic stroking and groping from?

And OP, I wouldn’t call the person a friend at this point, sorry. Hope you can move past your relationship with this person; it’s normal and healthy to end harmful relationships, even though it may initially seem very difficult when they have existed for decades, it’s nothing to be ashamed of and is a part of living.
 
MrsGamp said:
D

Dalpat, people have been implying or explicitly telling me I am a "whore". One person said I was " a cunt who was lucky to get fucked at all".
I don't think these are legit "points of view". I think they are gleeful misogynist rants.

With all respect, nothing I have said has been PERSONAL or offensive to anyone in particular. I just used the F-word a few times. And expressed my honest view of the "you're a whore" brigade.

So, with all respect, don't tell ME I am being narrow minded or mean or otherwise inappropriate. Because I am not.
Click to expand...
My intention wasn't to offend you. I'm just saying that people don't owe help to each other. Obviously that's what a good person would do, but it's always their choice.
If someone I considered a friend denied me help when I really needed it I wouldn't be mad at him, but no would definitely stop considering him a friend.
I'm kinda surprised you still call him a friend +with benefits) tbh. You sound more like sex partners to me, I can't see where's the friendship part
 
I conceder that my last couple of posts have been a trifle misandrist, or at least generalising rather outrageously about how men behave in an "FWB" arrangement. Obviously I was only truly describing my own former FWB and our particular case.
No doubt some men are very fine FWBs. No doubt some women are too.
But neither myself nor my erstwhile FWB are among that number.
For me, I simply can't have sex with someone without feeling at least a tiny bit entitled to a vestige of "girlfriend aura", even if I am not "the girlfriend"
officially. For example, with my former FWB - or any man I am intimate with more than once or twice - I feel tremendously insulted if I am never taken out anywhere or introduced to any of his friends. I don't insist on being officially situated as the Girlfriend in such social contexts, but I do expect to be publicly dignified as a friend, worthy of meeting his other friends ... or if there's some sort
of occasion where he's asked to bring a date - well, why can't I be that date? Is this too much to ask?!?!
 
I think sex is over rated and won't be bothered indulging again.


The whole aspect of sex and how it fits in or defines how one person associates with another is silly.


He won't bring you as a date if you're not a girlfriend or potential relationship. If he brings you that changes the dynamics not only between you but how you will have to fit in with his friends and co workers.

Youre better off not getting involved, a fwb is just fwb no more no less.


Anyway, hope you're doing alright Mrs Gamp.
 
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